Luke 1: 45 "You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.”

I looked at this verse a few days ago and was saddened and encouraged both at the same time.. 

it is HARD.. to stand on a promise from God for YEARS.. when you can't see anything that looks like what He said... 

I am saddened that so many days I feel like I must have heard my own thoughts in my head and not God's voice.. even though this is nothing I would choose.. maybe I don't know my own thoughts is what I think sometimes.. 

I am encouraged.. because God never lets me completely give up or forget what He said to me.. what He said my purpose in this life is... I am so thankful that He doesn't give up on me.. even on the days I give up on what He said.. 

I read a devotional today about a woman thinking to connect with God and receive His promises it is not about what we do every day FOR God or thinking we are doing for Him.. it is about seeing Him in our every day lives.. and communicating and connecting with Him in that.. 

so many times we think it is the work that we do that connects us to God.. our service.. it isn't.. we serve because we love Him and want to give back to Him what He has given us.. 

I thank God for the purpose He has given me for my life.. even tho I feel like I am getting awfully old to make a difference now.. but more than that.. I thank Him for being here for me.. for loving me.. for being my everything... 

Laying in this bed thinking how truly happy I am. 

I remember being a teenager and feeling so alone. Thinking no one loves me. I remember being a wife and feeling so alone. Thinking no one loves me. 

Now I am alone but I don't feel alone. Gods love is everything. I have peace. I am truly happy in my life. Truly grateful for all he has given me.