I think I had a revelation about myself last night...
I was watching a preacher on tv.. the teaching was about keeping God first in our lives...
now in the past this had not really ever been a struggle for me.. I have never really liked anyone or anything long enough to have them compete with God... never missed church to be up under some man... whatever it may be... nothing ever really consumed my thoughts before...
so then God gives me this kingdom assignment... and tells me in detail all the things that I am to be doing in relation to this assignment... this purpose He has given me... and you get excited about it.. you find creative ways to enhance this ministry... so then.. you sometimes get your focus off the reason for the ministry.. and onto the ministry... you begin to love this purpose and this ministry God has given you... thinking about it often.. planning out things to do to make it better...
and I knew I had been struggling with balancing love for this purpose with the greater love for God... I was still spending time alone with God... still in prayer and meditation with Him... but I struggled keeping Him at the top...
then this preacher last night says... we are created to worship.. if we are not worshipping God.. trust and believe you are worshipping something else... AND... in worship.. you are sacrificing something... like when they sacrificed the animals... so... something is being burned up... something is being consumed... and in the perfect world.. it should be self... we should be sacrificing self.. giving it to God and allowing Him to consume it... BUT.. if we have something else in front of God... then that thing.. whatever it is.. will be destroyed... and that is the reason so many relationships don't work out.. or a ministry loses is fire or its life changing power... it got sacrificed....
well.. this became distressing to me QUICK... I don't want to lose this ministry.. this purpose... I want to love God the most... in real life.. i realize that He has been the only real relationship I ever had... I don't want separation between me and God... I WANT Him to keep my worship.. keep my love.. keep my devotion.. so how do you keep Him first and love something else oh so much???
my daughter's sister gave me the answer.. you keep God first by realizing that you are doing this for HIM... not for the other people you are helping... this assignment is really an extention of my love for God.. not my love for people... and that is also how you stay when you are not feeling the people so much... you realize at all times that this is not about you.. not about helping others.. in truth it is about bringing glory to God...
this is truth in ministry.. in our jobs... in our families... in our relationships.. our entire life... all that we are is really for God... keep focused on God being the reason for the purpose...
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
democracy vs. monarchy...
when did the church become a democracy? I am thinking that was a most important mistake...
if we read the bible... from the beginning to the end... the bible has not set up the church as a democracy... the order is supposed to be: God, then the judge, or prophet, or priest, or pastor.. whatever you choose to call him... then the leadership... deacons.. trustees... whatever you want to call them... and nowhere do the people get a vote...
I keep getting the feeling that the building of the church is going to be brought down... but I can't tell if it is symbolic or physical... and I think that when it is rebuilt.. we need to rebuild it by the order that GOD put in place.. not what man put in place...
what do you care what is done with the money? my bible says that the first 10% is God's to begin with.. it never was yours.. so who are you to say how it is used? there are trustees involved... there are audits done... people are not taking your money home... get over yourself!!
throughout the bible people are struck down for speaking out against those leaders of the church that God put in place... for goodness sakes the ground opened up and swallowed some of them... there is scripture where the priest stood between the people and death because of their rebellious attitude... God did not call you to the position of head.. so why on earth do you think that you can run something better than the one He called??
here is a scripture for you....
Acts 7: 51 “You stubborn people! You are heathen at heart and deaf to the truth. Must you forever resist the Holy Spirit? That’s what your ancestors did, and so do you! 52 Name one prophet your ancestors didn’t persecute! They even killed the ones who predicted the coming of the Righteous One—the Messiah whom you betrayed and murdered. 53 You deliberately disobeyed God’s law, even though you received it from the hands of angels.”
let us go back to the monarchy rule in the church... let the priest be the one that makes the final decisions... and then he will be the one to answer to the God he serves.. as it is.. we are bringing damnation upon ourselves because we are rebelling against God given spiritual authority..
if we read the bible... from the beginning to the end... the bible has not set up the church as a democracy... the order is supposed to be: God, then the judge, or prophet, or priest, or pastor.. whatever you choose to call him... then the leadership... deacons.. trustees... whatever you want to call them... and nowhere do the people get a vote...
I keep getting the feeling that the building of the church is going to be brought down... but I can't tell if it is symbolic or physical... and I think that when it is rebuilt.. we need to rebuild it by the order that GOD put in place.. not what man put in place...
what do you care what is done with the money? my bible says that the first 10% is God's to begin with.. it never was yours.. so who are you to say how it is used? there are trustees involved... there are audits done... people are not taking your money home... get over yourself!!
throughout the bible people are struck down for speaking out against those leaders of the church that God put in place... for goodness sakes the ground opened up and swallowed some of them... there is scripture where the priest stood between the people and death because of their rebellious attitude... God did not call you to the position of head.. so why on earth do you think that you can run something better than the one He called??
here is a scripture for you....
Acts 7: 51 “You stubborn people! You are heathen at heart and deaf to the truth. Must you forever resist the Holy Spirit? That’s what your ancestors did, and so do you! 52 Name one prophet your ancestors didn’t persecute! They even killed the ones who predicted the coming of the Righteous One—the Messiah whom you betrayed and murdered. 53 You deliberately disobeyed God’s law, even though you received it from the hands of angels.”
let us go back to the monarchy rule in the church... let the priest be the one that makes the final decisions... and then he will be the one to answer to the God he serves.. as it is.. we are bringing damnation upon ourselves because we are rebelling against God given spiritual authority..
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
sent from the presence of God...
Genesis 4: 16 So Cain left the Lord’s presence and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
so Cain left the Lord's presence... his sin sent him from God's presence... you know... we can easily say that we would not do what would send us from the presence of God.. but are we sure ahead of time what would cause that to happen? we know it is always some sort of disobedience... look at Adam and Eve.. they walked and talked with God... and they sinned and disobeyed.. and they were sent from His garden... Saul was chosen as the first king.. then God rejected him...
1 Sam 15:22 But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams. 23 Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.” 24 Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the Lord’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded. 25 But now, please forgive my sin and come back with me so that I may worship the Lord.” 26 But Samuel replied, “I will not go back with you! Since you have rejected the Lord’s command, he has rejected you as king of Israel.” 27 As Samuel turned to go, Saul tried to hold him back and tore the hem of his robe. 28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to someone else—one who is better than you. 29 And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!”
so God has left Saul too... I think if we knew ahead of time.. the consequence we would make sure we wouldn't do it... or would we???? God often tells us specifically not to do something.. then we also have the written word of God.. yet we consistantly disobey.. which is rebellion... and you see that rebellion is counted as witchcraft... look how Saul begged God to forgive him... which He did.. but it changed their relationship forever... and while Saul stayed the king of Israel for the rest of his life, his children were unable to inherit it.. and Saul lived in torment...
what about us... look at how we sin.. over and over and God seems to forgive us and continue to walk with us.. but what is it that makes God change the relationship He had with you??
this is my opinion... I think God gives us many chances when our heart is not really His... when we are still really loving the world.. but when we really turn to Him... when we give Him our all... our whole heart.. then when we directly disobey a command given to us... then I feel it has the potential to change your relationship with Him... I think it happens to many of us... and I think we often don't ever get our relationship back.. we still have relationship with Him, but it is changed.. we are no longer in our 'garden of Eden'... we must now live on the outskirts of it...
I think we need to be far more cautious of what we allow to come between us and God.. because it could cost us more than we are really willing to pay... I don't want to lose my relationship with God.. yet I sometimes fear that I too have fallen and God will never be with me like He was in the past... I spend time daily reading and praying and meditating... yet God is not with me as He used to be... I would rather be alone with God than anywhere with anyone... I know I am forgiven... I know I still have relationship with Him.. but it is different... I pray for the "in love" relationship I used to have with God... with Him in love with me.. as I am still deeply, deeply in love with Him...
so Cain left the Lord's presence... his sin sent him from God's presence... you know... we can easily say that we would not do what would send us from the presence of God.. but are we sure ahead of time what would cause that to happen? we know it is always some sort of disobedience... look at Adam and Eve.. they walked and talked with God... and they sinned and disobeyed.. and they were sent from His garden... Saul was chosen as the first king.. then God rejected him...
1 Sam 15:22 But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams. 23 Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.” 24 Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the Lord’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded. 25 But now, please forgive my sin and come back with me so that I may worship the Lord.” 26 But Samuel replied, “I will not go back with you! Since you have rejected the Lord’s command, he has rejected you as king of Israel.” 27 As Samuel turned to go, Saul tried to hold him back and tore the hem of his robe. 28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to someone else—one who is better than you. 29 And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!”
so God has left Saul too... I think if we knew ahead of time.. the consequence we would make sure we wouldn't do it... or would we???? God often tells us specifically not to do something.. then we also have the written word of God.. yet we consistantly disobey.. which is rebellion... and you see that rebellion is counted as witchcraft... look how Saul begged God to forgive him... which He did.. but it changed their relationship forever... and while Saul stayed the king of Israel for the rest of his life, his children were unable to inherit it.. and Saul lived in torment...
what about us... look at how we sin.. over and over and God seems to forgive us and continue to walk with us.. but what is it that makes God change the relationship He had with you??
this is my opinion... I think God gives us many chances when our heart is not really His... when we are still really loving the world.. but when we really turn to Him... when we give Him our all... our whole heart.. then when we directly disobey a command given to us... then I feel it has the potential to change your relationship with Him... I think it happens to many of us... and I think we often don't ever get our relationship back.. we still have relationship with Him, but it is changed.. we are no longer in our 'garden of Eden'... we must now live on the outskirts of it...
I think we need to be far more cautious of what we allow to come between us and God.. because it could cost us more than we are really willing to pay... I don't want to lose my relationship with God.. yet I sometimes fear that I too have fallen and God will never be with me like He was in the past... I spend time daily reading and praying and meditating... yet God is not with me as He used to be... I would rather be alone with God than anywhere with anyone... I know I am forgiven... I know I still have relationship with Him.. but it is different... I pray for the "in love" relationship I used to have with God... with Him in love with me.. as I am still deeply, deeply in love with Him...
Monday, March 28, 2011
faithfulness...
Exodus 15: 24 Then the people complained and turned against Moses. “What are we going to drink?” they demanded. 25 So Moses cried out to the Lord for help, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. Moses threw it into the water, and this made the water good to drink. It was there at Marah that the Lord set before them the following decree as a standard to test their faithfulness to him. 26 He said, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the Lord who heals you.”
faithfulness is one of the fruit of the Spirit... yet when I think of someone who is faithful... I can only come up with God... it seems to me that we are selectively faithful... we may be faithful in one thing yet not in another...
faithful-strict or thorough in the perfomance of duty; true to ones word, promises or vows; steady in allegiance or affection, loyal, constant; reliable, trusted, or believed; adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate; full of faith; believing.
well... the dictionary makes it a little more attainable... I am loyal.. I am pretty much true to my word.. steady with allegiance... very loyal.. I am learning to be full of faith in believing...
I pray that God looks upon me and sees me as faithful... I pray that He leads me when I am not.. I pray that He teaches me to be all that He would have me to be... I am thankful that He is faithful even when I am not...
faithfulness is one of the fruit of the Spirit... yet when I think of someone who is faithful... I can only come up with God... it seems to me that we are selectively faithful... we may be faithful in one thing yet not in another...
faithful-strict or thorough in the perfomance of duty; true to ones word, promises or vows; steady in allegiance or affection, loyal, constant; reliable, trusted, or believed; adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate; full of faith; believing.
well... the dictionary makes it a little more attainable... I am loyal.. I am pretty much true to my word.. steady with allegiance... very loyal.. I am learning to be full of faith in believing...
I pray that God looks upon me and sees me as faithful... I pray that He leads me when I am not.. I pray that He teaches me to be all that He would have me to be... I am thankful that He is faithful even when I am not...
Friday, March 25, 2011
self control...
2 Peter 1: 5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
I think I am being taught self control... I think I am not very good at it..
in the past... I was very strong willed... and so I would do exactly what I said I would... even when it hurt me badly... if I said I was done with you... I was really done... even if I didn't want to be.. if I said I was going to lose 10lbs.. I really lost them.. even if it meant half starving or working myself to death in the gym...
but strong willed is NOT the same thing as self controlled... in my new life.. where I have given God my will.. I struggle to control my desire for chocolate.. I seem to have become somewhat lazy... and these are not good attributes to have...
Proverbs 5: 22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. 23 He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.
self control is one of the fruit of the Spirit... apparently.. I have self control in some areas and not in others... many days.. I think of renewing my relationship with Jack Daniels.. yet I resist this... I would really like to be sexually satisfied at every given moment... I definitely resist that one... I desire sometimes to smack someone in the head... yet I do not do it...
I want to eat what I want to eat.. and many days I do fall into it... I need to run my vaccum more often than once a week.. yet I let it go.. I need to mop my floors weekly.. yet sometimes I don't..
it seems.. the things.. I didn't struggle with when I was worldly.. I struggle with now... but the things I failed at when in the world.. I don't fail at now... hmmm.. wondering what that means...
maybe.. I have more self control now.. than I did when I was strong willed.. maybe.. what I don't have now is the strong will.. which might be good.. because I was supposed to give my will up to God's will anyways...
I think I am being taught self control... I think I am not very good at it..
in the past... I was very strong willed... and so I would do exactly what I said I would... even when it hurt me badly... if I said I was done with you... I was really done... even if I didn't want to be.. if I said I was going to lose 10lbs.. I really lost them.. even if it meant half starving or working myself to death in the gym...
but strong willed is NOT the same thing as self controlled... in my new life.. where I have given God my will.. I struggle to control my desire for chocolate.. I seem to have become somewhat lazy... and these are not good attributes to have...
Proverbs 5: 22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. 23 He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.
self control is one of the fruit of the Spirit... apparently.. I have self control in some areas and not in others... many days.. I think of renewing my relationship with Jack Daniels.. yet I resist this... I would really like to be sexually satisfied at every given moment... I definitely resist that one... I desire sometimes to smack someone in the head... yet I do not do it...
I want to eat what I want to eat.. and many days I do fall into it... I need to run my vaccum more often than once a week.. yet I let it go.. I need to mop my floors weekly.. yet sometimes I don't..
it seems.. the things.. I didn't struggle with when I was worldly.. I struggle with now... but the things I failed at when in the world.. I don't fail at now... hmmm.. wondering what that means...
maybe.. I have more self control now.. than I did when I was strong willed.. maybe.. what I don't have now is the strong will.. which might be good.. because I was supposed to give my will up to God's will anyways...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Psalms 72
1 Give your love of justice to the king, O God, and righteousness to the king’s son. 2 Help him judge your people in the right way; let the poor always be treated fairly. 3 May the mountains yield prosperity for all, and may the hills be fruitful. 4 Help him to defend the poor, to rescue the children of the needy, and to crush their oppressors.5 May they fear you as long as the sun shines, as long as the moon remains in the sky. Yes, forever!
6 May the king’s rule be refreshing like spring rain on freshly cut grass, like the showers that water the earth. 7 May all the godly flourish during his reign. May there be abundant prosperity until the moon is no more. 8 May he reign from sea to sea, and from the Euphrates River[a] to the ends of the earth. 9 Desert nomads will bow before him; his enemies will fall before him in the dust. 10 The western kings of Tarshish and other distant lands will bring him tribute. The eastern kings of Sheba and Seba will bring him gifts. 11 All kings will bow before him, and all nations will serve him.
12 He will rescue the poor when they cry to him; he will help the opressed, who have no one to defend them. 13 He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and he will rescue them. 14 He will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to him.
15 Long live the king! May the gold of Sheba be given to him. May the people always pray for him and bless him all day long. 16 May there be abundant grain throughout the land, flourishing even on the hilltops. May the fruit trees flourish like the trees of Lebanon, and may the people thrive like grass in a field. 17 May the king’s name endure forever; may it continue as long as the sun shines. May all nations be blessed through him and bring him praise.
18 Praise the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does such wonderful things. 19 Praise his glorious name forever! Let the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and amen!
20 (This ends the prayers of David son of Jesse.)
6 May the king’s rule be refreshing like spring rain on freshly cut grass, like the showers that water the earth. 7 May all the godly flourish during his reign. May there be abundant prosperity until the moon is no more. 8 May he reign from sea to sea, and from the Euphrates River[a] to the ends of the earth. 9 Desert nomads will bow before him; his enemies will fall before him in the dust. 10 The western kings of Tarshish and other distant lands will bring him tribute. The eastern kings of Sheba and Seba will bring him gifts. 11 All kings will bow before him, and all nations will serve him.
12 He will rescue the poor when they cry to him; he will help the opressed, who have no one to defend them. 13 He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and he will rescue them. 14 He will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to him.
15 Long live the king! May the gold of Sheba be given to him. May the people always pray for him and bless him all day long. 16 May there be abundant grain throughout the land, flourishing even on the hilltops. May the fruit trees flourish like the trees of Lebanon, and may the people thrive like grass in a field. 17 May the king’s name endure forever; may it continue as long as the sun shines. May all nations be blessed through him and bring him praise.
18 Praise the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does such wonderful things. 19 Praise his glorious name forever! Let the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and amen!
20 (This ends the prayers of David son of Jesse.)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Romans 12
1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
it is so much easier to speak words than it is to live them... I would rather punch an enemy in the head than to pray for them or give them something to drink.... I would rather not lay down all my desires to be a living sacrifice... I don't want to pray for those who hurt me or persecute me... I really don't want to live in harmony with everyone... I would like everyone to live in harmony with me... LOL! it is hard to do right every single day... yet this is the call... and by God's grace.. daily we become more like Christ...
3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
measure yourself according to the faith God has given you... hmmmm... I need to think about that for awhile... so if I have little faith.. do I have little value? if I have great faith.. do I have great value? in the kingdom I mean... and what does great faith look like? I mean.. I can hold on to this vision.. only because it has a grip on me like the jaws of life... I am sure that is not faith... but instead something from God that won't let go... is that what faith is? the jaws of life??? wow... I never saw faith as the jaws of life... but isn't that exactly the truth??
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
it is so much easier to speak words than it is to live them... I would rather punch an enemy in the head than to pray for them or give them something to drink.... I would rather not lay down all my desires to be a living sacrifice... I don't want to pray for those who hurt me or persecute me... I really don't want to live in harmony with everyone... I would like everyone to live in harmony with me... LOL! it is hard to do right every single day... yet this is the call... and by God's grace.. daily we become more like Christ...
3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
measure yourself according to the faith God has given you... hmmmm... I need to think about that for awhile... so if I have little faith.. do I have little value? if I have great faith.. do I have great value? in the kingdom I mean... and what does great faith look like? I mean.. I can hold on to this vision.. only because it has a grip on me like the jaws of life... I am sure that is not faith... but instead something from God that won't let go... is that what faith is? the jaws of life??? wow... I never saw faith as the jaws of life... but isn't that exactly the truth??
Monday, March 21, 2011
Psalms 47
1 Come, everyone! Clap your hands! Shout to God with joyful praise!
2 For the Lord Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth.
3 He subdues the nations before us, putting our enemies beneath our feet.
4 He chose the Promised Land as our inheritance, the proud possession of Jacob’s descendants, whom he loves.
5 God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring.
6 Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises!
7 For God is the King over all the earth. Praise him with a psalm!
8 God reigns above the nations, sitting on his holy throne.
9 The rulers of the world have gathered together with the people of the God of Abraham. For all the kings of the earth belong to God. He is highly honored everywhere.
2 For the Lord Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth.
3 He subdues the nations before us, putting our enemies beneath our feet.
4 He chose the Promised Land as our inheritance, the proud possession of Jacob’s descendants, whom he loves.
5 God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring.
6 Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises!
7 For God is the King over all the earth. Praise him with a psalm!
8 God reigns above the nations, sitting on his holy throne.
9 The rulers of the world have gathered together with the people of the God of Abraham. For all the kings of the earth belong to God. He is highly honored everywhere.
Friday, March 18, 2011
2 Corinthians 12
5 That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses. 6 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, 7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
what would we do without our weakness? I don't know about you.. but I would surely be proud... I have had pride issues all my life... not self confidence issues.. although that is such a nice way of saying it... but pride.. the ugly kind that makes me think I am the best at something.. that no one else compares... and if I had not received this weakness.. this insecurity... I would have gone through my life thinking that I was the center of the universe... and now.. I am an insecure mess... and now.. while I am a mess.. finally I can see that nothing is me.. and all of the things I am good at... are credited to God... that I am nothing without Him...
it is hard to be the seer.. the one who knows things... it tends to make you feel like you are right all the time... I am learning the hard way that I am never right... God within me is showing me what is and what is not... the gift of discernment of spirit within a person.. causes me to want to leave some people alone.. but how do you show God's love if you leave them alone.. instead I am being taught to be God's love despite what I see in someone...
we take things so personally... thinking only of what they make us feel like... when really all of these things are about God's kingdom... how can we be used if we take every attack as personal? look at Jesus... the things that were done to Him... but somehow He realized it was not about Him personally.. but about His kingdom... that is how we should see things.. from the kingdom perspective.. not personal... even when it feels personal...
8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
what would we do without our weakness? I don't know about you.. but I would surely be proud... I have had pride issues all my life... not self confidence issues.. although that is such a nice way of saying it... but pride.. the ugly kind that makes me think I am the best at something.. that no one else compares... and if I had not received this weakness.. this insecurity... I would have gone through my life thinking that I was the center of the universe... and now.. I am an insecure mess... and now.. while I am a mess.. finally I can see that nothing is me.. and all of the things I am good at... are credited to God... that I am nothing without Him...
it is hard to be the seer.. the one who knows things... it tends to make you feel like you are right all the time... I am learning the hard way that I am never right... God within me is showing me what is and what is not... the gift of discernment of spirit within a person.. causes me to want to leave some people alone.. but how do you show God's love if you leave them alone.. instead I am being taught to be God's love despite what I see in someone...
we take things so personally... thinking only of what they make us feel like... when really all of these things are about God's kingdom... how can we be used if we take every attack as personal? look at Jesus... the things that were done to Him... but somehow He realized it was not about Him personally.. but about His kingdom... that is how we should see things.. from the kingdom perspective.. not personal... even when it feels personal...
Thursday, March 17, 2011
through the night... I was awakened.. and had no idea why... but slowly... a thought comes over me...
we all claim we have faith... then we pray prayers that sound like we are begging God to do our will... ??? ummm.... I don't hear any such prayer in the bible... now I realize... we get tired... and we tell God we're tired.. but that is different than begging Him to move... first of all.. if He isn't moving... someone is not ready... secondly... when the men of God in the bible prayed prayers.. they commanded the earth to line up with the heavens... and it did... now THAT is faith...
I know that I have been given the gift of healing... but in order to use this gift.. I have to have faith to believe what I am saying... so if I do not... then it is useless... I imagine all gifts are like that.. we can have them.. but if we don't have the faith to ignite them.. then what are they useful for?
I am thinking... when we pray.. we need to be calling out what God has said to us.. with scripture... thanking Him in advance for bringing it to pass... instead of sounding all goofy and begging Him to please do what He has already said He would anyways... we need to be thanking Him for doing it.. proclaiming that it is done! He said it... now believe it!! I am thinking that when we are not praying boldly and believing that it will change.. RIGHT NOW... then we are praying without power... power comes from the Spirit... surely we are praying from the Spirit... if we are not.. then we should be...
so.. I am thinking... I am ready to shift the sands of this earth... and cause it to line up with the heavens... not because of me.. but in the name of Jesus... in the power of the Spirit... calling promises out in faith... knowing that God hears my prayer.. and believing for the reality of the promise... RIGHT NOW!! amen.amen.amen.
we all claim we have faith... then we pray prayers that sound like we are begging God to do our will... ??? ummm.... I don't hear any such prayer in the bible... now I realize... we get tired... and we tell God we're tired.. but that is different than begging Him to move... first of all.. if He isn't moving... someone is not ready... secondly... when the men of God in the bible prayed prayers.. they commanded the earth to line up with the heavens... and it did... now THAT is faith...
I know that I have been given the gift of healing... but in order to use this gift.. I have to have faith to believe what I am saying... so if I do not... then it is useless... I imagine all gifts are like that.. we can have them.. but if we don't have the faith to ignite them.. then what are they useful for?
I am thinking... when we pray.. we need to be calling out what God has said to us.. with scripture... thanking Him in advance for bringing it to pass... instead of sounding all goofy and begging Him to please do what He has already said He would anyways... we need to be thanking Him for doing it.. proclaiming that it is done! He said it... now believe it!! I am thinking that when we are not praying boldly and believing that it will change.. RIGHT NOW... then we are praying without power... power comes from the Spirit... surely we are praying from the Spirit... if we are not.. then we should be...
so.. I am thinking... I am ready to shift the sands of this earth... and cause it to line up with the heavens... not because of me.. but in the name of Jesus... in the power of the Spirit... calling promises out in faith... knowing that God hears my prayer.. and believing for the reality of the promise... RIGHT NOW!! amen.amen.amen.
Psalms 32
1 Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! 2 Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! 3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.
5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
6 Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. 7 For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.
8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. 9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
10 Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. 11 So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!
5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
6 Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. 7 For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.
8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. 9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
10 Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord. 11 So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
know it all? surely NOT!!
I tend to have an issue with pride.. I think I am smart.. intelligent if that is what you want to call it.. the IQ test confirms what I imagine.. and tells me I really am quite intelligent...
yet.. when I try to do things my way.. I get all messed up...
in the periods of self reflection.. self realization... (haha.. sounded smart there... didn't I??) when I am thinking about things that have happened or not happened or whatever it is... I realize that the only way to do things and have them work out right is to do them God's way...
I heard an illustration once about something being broken.. or not working right.. and instead of trying to figure it out on your own.. go to the one that made it... so I would do best to go to the Maker instead of thinking that surely He is not right about this and His way won't work and my way makes so much more sense...
if I would ever truly accept this.. I would have come a long way... and for today.. oh I am too sure that God's way is the only one that works... but what about tomorrow? will I retain this knowledge.. or will my own mind step back in and screw me all up?
remind me Lord.. that YOUR ways are the only RIGHT ways...
yet.. when I try to do things my way.. I get all messed up...
in the periods of self reflection.. self realization... (haha.. sounded smart there... didn't I??) when I am thinking about things that have happened or not happened or whatever it is... I realize that the only way to do things and have them work out right is to do them God's way...
I heard an illustration once about something being broken.. or not working right.. and instead of trying to figure it out on your own.. go to the one that made it... so I would do best to go to the Maker instead of thinking that surely He is not right about this and His way won't work and my way makes so much more sense...
if I would ever truly accept this.. I would have come a long way... and for today.. oh I am too sure that God's way is the only one that works... but what about tomorrow? will I retain this knowledge.. or will my own mind step back in and screw me all up?
remind me Lord.. that YOUR ways are the only RIGHT ways...
Psalms 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” 4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
how to make a man love you?
all we as people seem to think about is how to make someone love you and stay with you forever and never leave you alone again... how is it done?
it said is that you attract what you dress for... well that is a partial truth.. you do attract what a particular man is looking for or looking at... but.. you cannot judge a book by the cover.. this would mean that every man who does not go to church is not a good man.. and that is not true.. he may not be what a woman of God should attach herself to... in that I am in agreement.. the bible says be ye equally yoked.. but... that does not make him a bad partner.. I have been treated like I was the world by a man not living for God.. and I was very happy... and I dressed very provocatively in the past...
another shade to that... I dressed provocatively.. never paid for a drink... and I never took a man home... so.. in the same respect.. you are not always what you dress like...
if you ignore a man.. you get far more attention than you would if you are up his butt... I could go without ever talking to someone and they would be all over the place.. wherever they could possibly run into you.. so you really don't have to go where they go.. trust and believe that they will find you... you do not have to call them.. they will call you...
usually.. if you give the impression that you are done... they will come running... and.. we give up sex far too easily... a man can get sex anywhere... yes.. I know you have special skills.. I have them too... I have even been told I was the best... but what I say to you is this.. you are worth more than pleasuring a man.. even when it pleasures you... you are giving more of yourself than you realize and in the end.. it is you that pays for it.. he forgets all about it...
here is the thing though... while I had more game than most men... none of these things apply when you are walking in God's world.. these things only work in the street world... which is satan's domain...
in God's plan.. it is different... much different.. everything you knew that would work does not work over here... so there is no point in making a fool or yourself and trying to use the street rules on a man in God's kingdom.. they don't work... you have to just wait on God... and in HIS time.. God will turn the heart and the eyes of the man He has planned for you... and it will then last a lifetime... the street rules work in the street.. don't get me wrong.. but a street relationship rarely lasts a lifetime.. only a God ordained covenant will last forever...
let the street go... read the word of God.. about the women of God and learn how they submitted themselves first to God and then to their head.. that is where forever relationships come from...
please read the word for yourself.. a woman was created to be a helpmeet for a man.. I promise you.. it is in Genesis.. and since the fall she has been trying to be his head ever since.. and that is sin... there is NOTHING in the bible that made a woman a head... anywhere... learn your TRUE role.. the one GOD created you for.. and while it is not easy.. that is where you will find true peace and find a love of a lifetime...
it said is that you attract what you dress for... well that is a partial truth.. you do attract what a particular man is looking for or looking at... but.. you cannot judge a book by the cover.. this would mean that every man who does not go to church is not a good man.. and that is not true.. he may not be what a woman of God should attach herself to... in that I am in agreement.. the bible says be ye equally yoked.. but... that does not make him a bad partner.. I have been treated like I was the world by a man not living for God.. and I was very happy... and I dressed very provocatively in the past...
another shade to that... I dressed provocatively.. never paid for a drink... and I never took a man home... so.. in the same respect.. you are not always what you dress like...
if you ignore a man.. you get far more attention than you would if you are up his butt... I could go without ever talking to someone and they would be all over the place.. wherever they could possibly run into you.. so you really don't have to go where they go.. trust and believe that they will find you... you do not have to call them.. they will call you...
usually.. if you give the impression that you are done... they will come running... and.. we give up sex far too easily... a man can get sex anywhere... yes.. I know you have special skills.. I have them too... I have even been told I was the best... but what I say to you is this.. you are worth more than pleasuring a man.. even when it pleasures you... you are giving more of yourself than you realize and in the end.. it is you that pays for it.. he forgets all about it...
here is the thing though... while I had more game than most men... none of these things apply when you are walking in God's world.. these things only work in the street world... which is satan's domain...
in God's plan.. it is different... much different.. everything you knew that would work does not work over here... so there is no point in making a fool or yourself and trying to use the street rules on a man in God's kingdom.. they don't work... you have to just wait on God... and in HIS time.. God will turn the heart and the eyes of the man He has planned for you... and it will then last a lifetime... the street rules work in the street.. don't get me wrong.. but a street relationship rarely lasts a lifetime.. only a God ordained covenant will last forever...
let the street go... read the word of God.. about the women of God and learn how they submitted themselves first to God and then to their head.. that is where forever relationships come from...
please read the word for yourself.. a woman was created to be a helpmeet for a man.. I promise you.. it is in Genesis.. and since the fall she has been trying to be his head ever since.. and that is sin... there is NOTHING in the bible that made a woman a head... anywhere... learn your TRUE role.. the one GOD created you for.. and while it is not easy.. that is where you will find true peace and find a love of a lifetime...
Monday, March 14, 2011
I struggle with the call of women preachers... or the presentation of them is a better way to say it maybe...
I can find nowhere in the bible that there was some transforming change and women became a head somewhere.. yet other women see it all through the bible... I guess I would question which one of us is wrong.. me or them?
MY BIBLE.. the one written by the Creator.. tells me that a woman was created to be a helpmeet of a man... that was her original purpose.. yet somehow.. since feminism has developed... we no longer need a man.. all we need is one another... and as God draws me away from close relationships with other women as they tend to lead to gossip and other issues.. women seem to feel they are necessary... I cannot determine if I am being mislead.. or if these other women are...
I know women in positions of power.. both in the workforce and in the church... and some women carry a position yet remain in a state of submission... yet others.. use that position to seemingly tell women how they don't need men... yet this is not in the bible that I can find... and in my personal life.. God is calling me to a great level of submission to a man.. where I only have a voice when asked for it... so am I the only one being led to this? or am I the one that is in obedience to God?
I am learning that women are of great value to one another.. to minister to one another.. and to teach children.. men, as they have a different role.. are valuable teachers but they are different than a woman.. and I think the role of a woman is important in the life of a child as a teacher.. I think that a man cannot understand a woman's struggle as another woman does...
I also see that a woman can talk to a man about things they won't talk with to another man... but this is usually done in a one on one setting.. or in your own home with your own man...
the view of the woman is so different than that of a man.. how could she imagine to teach on his level of thinking? I have a son.. and I could not teach him to be a man... and he NEEDED a man to do this..
I think this whole feminist movement has set us back farther than some women will ever know because we now have to re-learn everything we are taught from childhood in order to be in agreement with God's will... and it is more difficult than I would have imagined...
I am thankful God is my Father and my Teacher and I am able to learn directly from His Spirit and His Word... thank you Lord for teaching me your ways... as they are not my ways...
I can find nowhere in the bible that there was some transforming change and women became a head somewhere.. yet other women see it all through the bible... I guess I would question which one of us is wrong.. me or them?
MY BIBLE.. the one written by the Creator.. tells me that a woman was created to be a helpmeet of a man... that was her original purpose.. yet somehow.. since feminism has developed... we no longer need a man.. all we need is one another... and as God draws me away from close relationships with other women as they tend to lead to gossip and other issues.. women seem to feel they are necessary... I cannot determine if I am being mislead.. or if these other women are...
I know women in positions of power.. both in the workforce and in the church... and some women carry a position yet remain in a state of submission... yet others.. use that position to seemingly tell women how they don't need men... yet this is not in the bible that I can find... and in my personal life.. God is calling me to a great level of submission to a man.. where I only have a voice when asked for it... so am I the only one being led to this? or am I the one that is in obedience to God?
I am learning that women are of great value to one another.. to minister to one another.. and to teach children.. men, as they have a different role.. are valuable teachers but they are different than a woman.. and I think the role of a woman is important in the life of a child as a teacher.. I think that a man cannot understand a woman's struggle as another woman does...
I also see that a woman can talk to a man about things they won't talk with to another man... but this is usually done in a one on one setting.. or in your own home with your own man...
the view of the woman is so different than that of a man.. how could she imagine to teach on his level of thinking? I have a son.. and I could not teach him to be a man... and he NEEDED a man to do this..
I think this whole feminist movement has set us back farther than some women will ever know because we now have to re-learn everything we are taught from childhood in order to be in agreement with God's will... and it is more difficult than I would have imagined...
I am thankful God is my Father and my Teacher and I am able to learn directly from His Spirit and His Word... thank you Lord for teaching me your ways... as they are not my ways...
vision..
I find that sometimes.. when we have been given a vision.. our focus will come off of God and onto the vision... I don't think we even realize that we do it...
I believe God is teaching us lessons in our NOW that will be used in our NOT YET.. but when we become so focused on bringing the not yet to pass then it stops being God in control and becomes me... and so I am realizing that I need to be right here.. in today... learning what I will need when I get to that not yet... so that I am completely prepared... and then it is God bringing HIS WILL to pass.. not me bringing my will to pass...
Father.. keep me in today... enjoying this day that you have given.. this season of peace.. where I have no stress and troubles... so that when the season of turmoil comes.. I can keep the peace you have given me in my now... I love you.. I adore you.. I bow down before you...
I believe God is teaching us lessons in our NOW that will be used in our NOT YET.. but when we become so focused on bringing the not yet to pass then it stops being God in control and becomes me... and so I am realizing that I need to be right here.. in today... learning what I will need when I get to that not yet... so that I am completely prepared... and then it is God bringing HIS WILL to pass.. not me bringing my will to pass...
Father.. keep me in today... enjoying this day that you have given.. this season of peace.. where I have no stress and troubles... so that when the season of turmoil comes.. I can keep the peace you have given me in my now... I love you.. I adore you.. I bow down before you...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Rebellion...
Romans 13:1 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. 3 For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. 4 The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. 5 So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.
6 Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.
you know the feeling you get when you are speeding and a police is on the side of the road... it's funny how we do something then we try so hard to not get caught at whatever it is... I am reading this book on spiritual authority... and learning alot about myself... for one thing.. I don't think I ever felt that every person put in a position of authority was put there by God... many times I would feel they are not good.. they are evil.. so God didn't do that... yet the bible says He did... I would think that to rebel against someone who is wrong is all right.. because I am right.. they are wrong... that I don't have to submit to someone doing the wrong thing... yet the bible says that if they are in a position of authority we are to submit... this book teaches that not submitting to authority is called rebellion.. it is one of the strongest problems the Israelites had.. they felt they were right to tell someone when they felt they were wrong... yet this is not what the bible tells us... but don't we do this all the time?
I think if I get myself right.. and don't worry about someone elses wrongs.. that would be the best thing to do...
yesterday.. this woman was working at church for breakfast... now we pay for breakfast... so when I get hot water.. even though I have my own tea bag... I pay for it... but apparently this woman felt that I didn't pay for it... and yesterday she asks me where is my ticket... and I got very offended... (really probably only because I don't appreciate her so much...) and I say to her.. if you don't believe I paid for this water.. then go ask miss such and such collecting money... and I proceeded to get my water and go sit down.. but I was HOT... and I wanted to kick her in the head... and I was wrong... she was wrong.. but so was I.. .and as she is the one that was put over that table... I should have went to the cashier and got a ticket and kept my attitude to myself... instead I sat and thought in my mind of all the sins that this woman does on a weekly basis... this is the spirit of rebellion.... and I hope to lay mine to death... but it is a great struggle...
6 Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.
you know the feeling you get when you are speeding and a police is on the side of the road... it's funny how we do something then we try so hard to not get caught at whatever it is... I am reading this book on spiritual authority... and learning alot about myself... for one thing.. I don't think I ever felt that every person put in a position of authority was put there by God... many times I would feel they are not good.. they are evil.. so God didn't do that... yet the bible says He did... I would think that to rebel against someone who is wrong is all right.. because I am right.. they are wrong... that I don't have to submit to someone doing the wrong thing... yet the bible says that if they are in a position of authority we are to submit... this book teaches that not submitting to authority is called rebellion.. it is one of the strongest problems the Israelites had.. they felt they were right to tell someone when they felt they were wrong... yet this is not what the bible tells us... but don't we do this all the time?
I think if I get myself right.. and don't worry about someone elses wrongs.. that would be the best thing to do...
yesterday.. this woman was working at church for breakfast... now we pay for breakfast... so when I get hot water.. even though I have my own tea bag... I pay for it... but apparently this woman felt that I didn't pay for it... and yesterday she asks me where is my ticket... and I got very offended... (really probably only because I don't appreciate her so much...) and I say to her.. if you don't believe I paid for this water.. then go ask miss such and such collecting money... and I proceeded to get my water and go sit down.. but I was HOT... and I wanted to kick her in the head... and I was wrong... she was wrong.. but so was I.. .and as she is the one that was put over that table... I should have went to the cashier and got a ticket and kept my attitude to myself... instead I sat and thought in my mind of all the sins that this woman does on a weekly basis... this is the spirit of rebellion.... and I hope to lay mine to death... but it is a great struggle...
Friday, March 4, 2011
Genesis 16
1 Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. 3 So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.)
point #1.. sarah was her own worst enemy.. what woman do you know that would tell her husband to sleep with another woman.. no matter who it was... I realize WHY she did it.. in their culture.. to be childless was to be ashamed.. so they would use surrogates to have children on their behalf... I am thinking I would have to be shamed... I would not send my husband off to sleep with another female... AND.. this is AFTER God had promised them the child.. which means that basically... sarah was taking things into her own hands.. okay.. I am VERY guilty of that!! and just like her.. it creates a mess every time...
4 So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!”
so hagar gets full of herself... (what woman sleeping with YOUR man doesn't?) somehow this caused her to get to thinking that she was the wife and sarah didn't count any more... ummmm... all women that sleep with someone else's man get this syndrome... they decide that somehow they have become the true love and the man no longer loves the wife... which usually is NOT the case.. but after the wife finds out he's been sleeping around.. then she walks away and he ends up with the other woman...
6 Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.
typical man... although we have to say that this one really was not his fault... but he still responded like a typical man...
7 The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. 8 The angel said to her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai,” she replied.
(she now remembers she is the slave and sarah is her mistress/owner... hindsight is 20/20..)
9 The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.” 10 Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.”
submit to her authority... definitely one of my weak points... definitely...
11 And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. 12 This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.”
this really doesn't sound like much of a blessing on the boy... not to me... yet it was... because ishmael was nearly as large a nation as issac... besides... I tend to be a little hardheaded and wild too.. although I would prefer to not be called a wild donkey by God...
13 Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” 14 So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered. 15 So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born.
God enters into relationship with hagar.. although she is not the chosen nation... God chooses who He chooses.. no matter what people think...
I have to say... I feel sorry for abraham over ishmael because he had to send his son away because of his wife.. who was the whole reason he even had the extra son and woman... I feel sorry for ishmael because he is sent to live away from his father through no cause of his own... I would say that hagar made out in the end... she no longer was a slave.. she ended up to be the mother of a very prosperous leader...
now what any of that has to do with us? I guess I will say that we are to submit to the authority placed over us and God will make us mother to a prosperous leader in the end? LOL! not necessarily... but we are to submit and God will work it all out as it should be... truly... God did not tell abraham to sleep with hagar and create the extra son... abraham apparently didn't ask... otherwise he would have been told that God promised him a son with sarah... yet God takes the mess that we have created and He has allowed and He turns it all for the good of many...
point #1.. sarah was her own worst enemy.. what woman do you know that would tell her husband to sleep with another woman.. no matter who it was... I realize WHY she did it.. in their culture.. to be childless was to be ashamed.. so they would use surrogates to have children on their behalf... I am thinking I would have to be shamed... I would not send my husband off to sleep with another female... AND.. this is AFTER God had promised them the child.. which means that basically... sarah was taking things into her own hands.. okay.. I am VERY guilty of that!! and just like her.. it creates a mess every time...
4 So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!”
so hagar gets full of herself... (what woman sleeping with YOUR man doesn't?) somehow this caused her to get to thinking that she was the wife and sarah didn't count any more... ummmm... all women that sleep with someone else's man get this syndrome... they decide that somehow they have become the true love and the man no longer loves the wife... which usually is NOT the case.. but after the wife finds out he's been sleeping around.. then she walks away and he ends up with the other woman...
6 Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.
typical man... although we have to say that this one really was not his fault... but he still responded like a typical man...
7 The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. 8 The angel said to her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai,” she replied.
(she now remembers she is the slave and sarah is her mistress/owner... hindsight is 20/20..)
9 The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.” 10 Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.”
submit to her authority... definitely one of my weak points... definitely...
11 And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. 12 This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.”
this really doesn't sound like much of a blessing on the boy... not to me... yet it was... because ishmael was nearly as large a nation as issac... besides... I tend to be a little hardheaded and wild too.. although I would prefer to not be called a wild donkey by God...
13 Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” 14 So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered. 15 So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born.
God enters into relationship with hagar.. although she is not the chosen nation... God chooses who He chooses.. no matter what people think...
I have to say... I feel sorry for abraham over ishmael because he had to send his son away because of his wife.. who was the whole reason he even had the extra son and woman... I feel sorry for ishmael because he is sent to live away from his father through no cause of his own... I would say that hagar made out in the end... she no longer was a slave.. she ended up to be the mother of a very prosperous leader...
now what any of that has to do with us? I guess I will say that we are to submit to the authority placed over us and God will make us mother to a prosperous leader in the end? LOL! not necessarily... but we are to submit and God will work it all out as it should be... truly... God did not tell abraham to sleep with hagar and create the extra son... abraham apparently didn't ask... otherwise he would have been told that God promised him a son with sarah... yet God takes the mess that we have created and He has allowed and He turns it all for the good of many...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Job 23: 10-17
10 “But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.
11 For I have stayed on God’s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from his commands, but have treasured his words more than daily food.
13 But once he has made his decision, who can change his mind? Whatever he wants to do, he does.
14 So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.
15 No wonder I am so terrified in his presence. When I think of it, terror grips me.
16 God has made me sick at heart; the Almighty has terrified me.
17 Darkness is all around me; thick, impenetrable darkness is everywhere.
God knows where I am going... well thank God for that.. as many days I am unsure!! when He tests me I shall come out as gold.. that of course is my desire.. but somedays I am unsure.... somedays I feel like maybe I have fallen too far off the path... too far out of the way I was supposed to go... and so maybe I will never be all that His plan was for me... Job is able to say that he has stayed on Gods paths and has not departed from God's commands... I am unable to say that... I have departed from them many times over...
but... then it says... once He has made His decision.. who can change His mind... so.. maybe... as He knew me from the end of my life to the beginning... maybe as He already knew I was going to screw up this badly... maybe.. He won't change His mind about the wonderful promises He has given me... this scripture says that He controls my destiny... (these are my issues with free will...) so while I fall... while I screw up... He already knew it... and He had it under control from the beginning... He controls my ending... my middle.. and my beginning... so maybe that is some people's problems... God controlled your destiny and yet you were sick.. or you were abused.. or you were hurt... and none of this by your own hand... maybe by the hand of God... so... why would He do such a thing? why would He allow it.. as He is the one in control... all things work together for our good... if I had not been raised prejudiced... I would not now be so fervently against it... if I had not been abused by a man who should have protected me... maybe I would never have understand why women don't leave.. or why they choose the same man over and over in a different body... these tragedies have made me who I am and they have molded my thinking... so now.. I can understand someone else... and while I can't change someone's situation sometimes... I can feel your pain... I can feel your fear... I can feel your distrust...
then Job says he fears God... as we all should... too many of us do not have the right reverence and fear of the Lord.. we feel He is our best friend.. our road dog... and He is.. yet He is God... above all else... He is God Almighty... while He comes down to our level so that we can get to know Him and understand His love for us... we also must show Him the utmost respect... because He is the Great I AM.... and He could wipe us out with a slight thought... so we really need to respect Him... worship Him... love Him... praise Him...
11 For I have stayed on God’s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from his commands, but have treasured his words more than daily food.
13 But once he has made his decision, who can change his mind? Whatever he wants to do, he does.
14 So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.
15 No wonder I am so terrified in his presence. When I think of it, terror grips me.
16 God has made me sick at heart; the Almighty has terrified me.
17 Darkness is all around me; thick, impenetrable darkness is everywhere.
God knows where I am going... well thank God for that.. as many days I am unsure!! when He tests me I shall come out as gold.. that of course is my desire.. but somedays I am unsure.... somedays I feel like maybe I have fallen too far off the path... too far out of the way I was supposed to go... and so maybe I will never be all that His plan was for me... Job is able to say that he has stayed on Gods paths and has not departed from God's commands... I am unable to say that... I have departed from them many times over...
but... then it says... once He has made His decision.. who can change His mind... so.. maybe... as He knew me from the end of my life to the beginning... maybe as He already knew I was going to screw up this badly... maybe.. He won't change His mind about the wonderful promises He has given me... this scripture says that He controls my destiny... (these are my issues with free will...) so while I fall... while I screw up... He already knew it... and He had it under control from the beginning... He controls my ending... my middle.. and my beginning... so maybe that is some people's problems... God controlled your destiny and yet you were sick.. or you were abused.. or you were hurt... and none of this by your own hand... maybe by the hand of God... so... why would He do such a thing? why would He allow it.. as He is the one in control... all things work together for our good... if I had not been raised prejudiced... I would not now be so fervently against it... if I had not been abused by a man who should have protected me... maybe I would never have understand why women don't leave.. or why they choose the same man over and over in a different body... these tragedies have made me who I am and they have molded my thinking... so now.. I can understand someone else... and while I can't change someone's situation sometimes... I can feel your pain... I can feel your fear... I can feel your distrust...
then Job says he fears God... as we all should... too many of us do not have the right reverence and fear of the Lord.. we feel He is our best friend.. our road dog... and He is.. yet He is God... above all else... He is God Almighty... while He comes down to our level so that we can get to know Him and understand His love for us... we also must show Him the utmost respect... because He is the Great I AM.... and He could wipe us out with a slight thought... so we really need to respect Him... worship Him... love Him... praise Him...
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Job 23: 2-9
2 “Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. 3 If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! 4 I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. 5 I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say to me. 6 Would he vigorously oppose me? No, he would not press charges against me. 7 There the upright can establish their innocence before him, and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.
8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
how many times have we searched for God and been unable to find him... for me... it has been many times... I find as you mature in Christ... He seems to feel that you don't need all the specialized attention that you needed when you were just a baby... (thinking that relationships with men seem to be like that too...) He may not feel that way.. that is the way I perceive it... that He feels that you can stay in your word and learn to stand strong in spite of not 'feeling' Him.. we are to know that He will never leave us nor forsake us.. yet we want to feel His presence constantly and God just really is not willing to give that to the average person... maybe a preacher or something.. but surely not the regular folk.... we need to be stable without constant reassurance.. we need to know that He will be true to His word.. we need to learn to trust what He said even when it does not look like it is the truth...
His hand is heavy upon me... I have felt His heavy hand... or was it my own wrong doing... I am sure that both have been the truth.. but there are times.. no matter how righteous we live... some days we just feel crushed... and we can't find God and get an answer about what in the world is wrong...
now Job says that he is innocent... that he has been upright... and that because of this.. he doesn't understand why God is opposing him... I am not sure that even on my best day I can pretend that I am innocent... I would say that I am upright... because I truly strive to live without sin... although I fall to the left and the right... usually involving things that I say... yet I am striving... so I feel God would see me as upright... as long as I am confessing my falling and trying to get it right with His help... to say I am righteous... I believe I am righteous... not because of how I live... not even because God thinks I am special... but because I am washed in the blood of Jesus... so I am purified and cleansed and God is able to look upon me because of Christ's great sacrifice...
I long for a glimpse of God... a few hours heavily in His presence.... renewing me for the journey ahead... but in this time of solitude.. I will remember the words of the scripture that says lo I am with you always.. even unto the ends of the earth... and be comforted by the word of God...
8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
how many times have we searched for God and been unable to find him... for me... it has been many times... I find as you mature in Christ... He seems to feel that you don't need all the specialized attention that you needed when you were just a baby... (thinking that relationships with men seem to be like that too...) He may not feel that way.. that is the way I perceive it... that He feels that you can stay in your word and learn to stand strong in spite of not 'feeling' Him.. we are to know that He will never leave us nor forsake us.. yet we want to feel His presence constantly and God just really is not willing to give that to the average person... maybe a preacher or something.. but surely not the regular folk.... we need to be stable without constant reassurance.. we need to know that He will be true to His word.. we need to learn to trust what He said even when it does not look like it is the truth...
His hand is heavy upon me... I have felt His heavy hand... or was it my own wrong doing... I am sure that both have been the truth.. but there are times.. no matter how righteous we live... some days we just feel crushed... and we can't find God and get an answer about what in the world is wrong...
now Job says that he is innocent... that he has been upright... and that because of this.. he doesn't understand why God is opposing him... I am not sure that even on my best day I can pretend that I am innocent... I would say that I am upright... because I truly strive to live without sin... although I fall to the left and the right... usually involving things that I say... yet I am striving... so I feel God would see me as upright... as long as I am confessing my falling and trying to get it right with His help... to say I am righteous... I believe I am righteous... not because of how I live... not even because God thinks I am special... but because I am washed in the blood of Jesus... so I am purified and cleansed and God is able to look upon me because of Christ's great sacrifice...
I long for a glimpse of God... a few hours heavily in His presence.... renewing me for the journey ahead... but in this time of solitude.. I will remember the words of the scripture that says lo I am with you always.. even unto the ends of the earth... and be comforted by the word of God...
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