unconditional...

we all desire to be loved unconditionally... we want someone who will love us despite the issues we have or the things that we say that we shouldn't... yet how often are we really willing to give this to someone else?

God loves us even while we are still in our filth and sin... if God loved us the way that we love others, what a terrible situation we would be in... we like to think that we have come such a long way and are so wonderful... and maybe we have come a long way... I know that I have... yet I am not yet what God is calling me to be... that is a daily struggle... daily I have to die to the desires of self in order to be the woman of God that He desires me to be... God wants us to love people despite what they do or say... that is not an easy task... yet that is what God is requiring of us...

Father... I desire to love the people of this world... not only the people of God... but all people with the same love that You have shown to me... I am not worthy of the love You give me.. and I want to love others when they are right as well as when they are wrong... open my spirit eyes... the eyes of Love and show me my faults daily that I can be more like You... I ask this in Jesus precious name... amen.amen.amen. I love You more than I show...

what it looks like...

have you ever noticed that the promise of God coming to pass usually doesn't look like you thought it would...

I think we get this romanticized idea of what things should look like and then we stand there waiting to see what we thought up in our head... don't get me wrong... I am not at all complaining or trying to be negative... I am just saying that it isn't what we expected... maybe over time it will get to be what we thought... but surely not in the beginning... sometimes so much so that we don't even realize it has happened until God tells us it did...

an example would be... let's say God has put a particular ministry in your spirit... doesn't really matter what it is... and you are all gung ho thinking it will be so pretty and everyone will love it and be happy about it and it will all be roses... so you get started and first of all... it is ALOT OF WORK... and not work like you are used to... seems like everything that can go wrong does... then PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT IT... or they don't react the way you want them to... this is very hard to deal with and still keep pushing forward...

but God is good and if we continue on the path that He has chosen for us... He will be faithful to us as we are faithful to Him... don't you just love Him??? I know I do!!

thank you Father, for your will coming to pass in my life.. on the days it looks like I want it to as well as the days it does not.. help me to remain faithful and on the right path.. keep me focused on You, not man, not circumstances.. keep my sight in the spirit realm so I can see what You are doing in my life.. I love you Lord.. I adore You, I praise You, I bow down before You.. thank you Father for your love and goodness to me... I love you with an unchanging love...

role of a woman...

this one will be very unpleasing to the ears of women but it is still truth I am finding out...

we keep thinking that we are of value in ourselves... the bible clearly states that woman was created for man.. we were created with one purpose.. to be the help of a man... before covenant... I would suggest that one man would be Jesus... but after covenant.. we were created for the man God has created you for and we were each created for a man... it might take until you are old to find him, if that is the will of God, but it does not change the purpose... you will find no where in the bible where a woman was created to do great things in herself... even when a woman has serious spiritual gifts, such as teaching or evangelizing... still she is under the a man who is her head... she may have gifts, but her gifts are not her purpose... her gifts are given to aid in her purpose...

I know that none of this is anything we want to hear... it is nothing I desire to hear either... I keep running into a brick wall because over and over again I think it is for me to make decisions... it is not... I know who my covenant partner is... I am to remain in submission to him at all times... when comfortable and when uncomfortable... when it makes sense and when it doesn't...

I don't understand the ways of God many times... somehow He always shows me just what is expected of me... anything that lifts me up is usually pride and not of God... I am to be a servant... Jesus was a servant to all mankind... what would make me think I would be any different than He was...

Thank you Father... for your voice... even when I don't like what You say.. please continue to change me and lead me in the path You have chosen for me.. help me to learn and give into submission... in Jesus precious name. amen.amen.amen.

talkative vs. social....

I am pretty talkative during the day... I can hold conversations with just about anyone.. but when I get home in the evening... it's a whole nother story... I don't usually want to talk on the phone... I don't even want the tv on sometimes. I like to sit in the quiet by myself, just me and God...

I think this hurts people's feeling sometimes... it seems like many people don't really like their own company. That is strange to me... I love me some me... somedays I am the only one that really understands me... as I cannot get away from myself.. it seems important to like myself... so if someone wnts to come over in the evening I tend to make up some excuse about something I need to be doing... cause I'd rather just sit by myself...

Maybe I really am not as social as some people think I am... I don't know why I am like I am.... but just because I don't always want to talk doesn't mean I don't love you... I have been alone a long time... its comfortable to me...