teach me to pray...

Matthew 6: 5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. 6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
7 “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. 8 Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! 9 Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. 10 May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today the food we need,2 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. 13 And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. I have never been a fan of the Lord's prayer.. not because I don't like it.. I guess it is because it isn't saying much that I want to say.. I have always felt that praying is a conversation between me and God... I'm not saying that is right.. more of saying that is what I feel.. I know that in prayer I state my side of the conversation.. then I am to remain silent for a while mentally and allow God to say His side... but how often do we really take the time to listen for God to speak?

Jesus tells us not to babble on and on repeating ourselves.. how often do we do that? I would say that I do that quite often... I want God to hear me and answer me.. NOW... even if He says no.. just speak to me about what I want to hear about!! but that isn't really how God works most of the time.. most of our situations or issues in life are not really for us to get an answer right now.. instead I think they are being used to change us...

the things Jesus tells us to pray about is to #1 tell God how great He is all all that He means to us... #2 ask for food.. #3 ask forgiveness of our sins (which would mean we are doing this more than once a day even.. as we sin far more often than we realize.. and surely much of it is not intentional and sometime we don't even realize we have sinned..) #4 keep us giving in to temptation... not keep us from temptation.. but instead to keep us from giving in to it... meaning temptation is not optional.. but God wants us to stand against it...

I am sure that I don't pray right... I am sure that I am more focused on what I want God to change in my world rather than focusing on all that is wrong with me... surely that is a sign... surely that is part of what would keep my prayers from being answered right away! I determine today to change this in me.. I am determining to focus on what God wants from me.. more than what I want from God.. and to stick with the change!

today...

Psalms 47: 1 Come, everyone! Clap your hands! Shout to God with joyful praise! 2 For the LORD Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth. 3 He subdues the nations before us, putting our enemies beneath our feet. 4 He chose the Promised Land as our inheritance, the proud possession of Jacob’s descendants, whom he loves. 5 God has ascended with a mighty shout. The LORD has ascended with trumpets blaring. 6 Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises! 7 For God is the King over all the earth. Praise him with a psalm. 8 God reigns above the nations, sitting on his holy throne. 9 The rulers of the world have gathered together with the people of the God of Abraham. For all the kings of the earth belong to God. He is highly honored everywhere.

yesterday I was thinking... I have been living too much of my life in tomorrow... I have been concentrating too much on where I am to be going.. on how I am to get there... and I am wasting today....

I am determined to live today.. every day... for just what it is...

I kept thinking "when God's will comes to pass".. and I realized... I am in God's will for my life right now... I am in His will for me for today... when tomorrow gets here.. that will just be another day in His will... I realize I had to see what I was going toward in order to make the changes necessary.. to accept what God has said.. to walk worthy of the call He has placed on my life... but until I get to the promised place... I am to enjoy today.. and know that today too.. I am in His will for my life.. doing what He has called me to do for today...

so this is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it... I will be glad to be right here.. right where I am now...

grateful...

Psalms 72: 18 Praise the LORD God, the God of Israel, who alone does such wonderful things. 19 Praise his glorious name forever! Let the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and amen!

nothing new has happened... no new reason for me to feel that God is so wonderful... but.. the things He does daily.. and the things that He has brought me through in the past are more than enough reason for me to know and exclaim how wonderful He is..

He is faithful when I am not... He is kind when I am not.. He is loving when I am not.. He will not forsake me when I have forsaken Him time and time again...

God's goodness does not need a new reason to be proclaimed.. I can DAILY proclaim the constant goodness of God...

spirit of defeat...

1 kings 19: 3 Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. 4 Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”
5 Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” 6 He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 Then the angel of the LORD came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God. 9 There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.

one of the things I love about God is.. He rarely tries to reason with us... He doesn't say to us that He needs us.. or that He thinks we should follow Him...

I find that He leads us day by day... when we are so tired that we cannot go on.. we tell God we are ready to quit.. maybe even to the place that we are ready to die... and He doesn't try to talk us out of being ready to quit.. at least not in the way we think.. so what He usually will do.. is lead us to tomorrow.. and then lead us into the next tomorrow... God rarely will allow someone to decide they are just done... at least this has been my experience... I have even been allowed to quit something for a season.. but it comes right back around.. full circle.. it may come in a different form.. but it is still the same battle... and He gives us another opportunity to walk through it...

God does not give us the spirit of quitting... the spirit of failure.. the spirit of defeat.. that comes from the enemy... it doesn't mean will may never feel it.. we all get tired... physically.. emotionally.. spiritually... but never do we hear God say that this is too hard for Him... it may be too hard for us.. but it is not too hard for Him.. our weakness comes when we don't lean on God to carry us through the hard parts... or when we are somewhere we never should have been to begin with... but even when we shouldn't have been there.. I think still God expects us to follow through with it.. walk the season out and learn from it... when the season is done then we are to take what we have learned in the dry season and carry it with us for the rest of our lives so that we don't end up in the same situation again...

God doesn't want us defeated... we can choose life or choose death.. in every situation... we can choose God.. or choose to live in our feelings... let us all cast off the spirit of defeat and walk in life through the power of our relationship with God...

walking on water...

Matthew 14: 22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. 25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

last night at about 3am I wake and see Jesus over me and He reaches down and pulls me up out of water... He tells me that I had been walking on water and I allowed myself to be distracted by the storm around me and I had been floundering in the water ever since...

we cannot reach our goal if we are not completely focused on God... the distractions of this world will cause us to be looking around and get afraid.. then we will begin to drown... I had my head above water but I was so tired of keeping it there.. instead of focusing on God and not fearing...

I am done being distracted.. I am done worrying about anything other than what God has said to me.. He is faithful and just.. He is true.. He keeps His promises..

confusion...

Acts 21: 33 Then the commander arrested him and ordered him bound with two chains. He asked the crowd who he was and what he had done. 34 Some shouted one thing and some another. Since he couldn’t find out the truth in all the uproar and confusion, he ordered that Paul be taken to the fortress.

I am learning that one of the greatest tools of the enemy is confusion... I am learning that he uses noise to bring confusion...

have you ever noticed.. when you are somwhere alone.. just you and Jesus.. you can have peace... you know that He is in control.. you know that you can do all things through Him... you are calm and the world is rightside up... this is the truth for me anyways.. any time I get alone with God I am calm and peaceful...

but... when other people come into it.. they get you to thinking that maybe you are wrong... maybe you can't do what God says you can... I don't even mean necessarily people talking negative things to you... just something about too many people being in on the relationship and the purpose of you from God causes confusion... you don't even have to have talked to someone about what God has said to you.. yet somehow.. those people who are being used by the enemy will find you and give you reasons to be confused and doubtful.. they can be christians... yet they are being used by the enemy against you...

we have to.. absolutely have to have time alone with God.. to be filled with His words.. His presence.. His strength... we cannot continue to live in faith and in confusion at the same time.. we have to cast off situations and people who bring confusion to our spirit... it may mean that we really don't have anyone in our lives... it may just be me and God all the time.. and that is all right...

I am tired of being confused.. I am done with it... I am going to rest in God... and cast out confusion and anyone who carries it with them... in Jesus name... amen.amen.amen.

James 3: 13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. 17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

I cannot imagine who would call themselves wise... I mean really.. we make a fool of ourselves daily... unintentionally.. but daily... so to call yourself wise would be pretty much amazing and stupid in my thoughts...

I try to live an honorable life.. I try to do good works... but I have to say... jealousy is sometimes an issue for me... not jealousy meaning I want what is someone else's... I just don't want someone to touch what is mine... and if they act like they have or they still are.. then that makes me really upset... I think the reason it upsets me is because I am insecure.. I have not been an insecure person in the past.. I have always thought I was the best anyone could get... while God has torn down my pride.. it has made me insecure.. I don't think that was supposed to have happened.. I think my confidence was to be changed from being in myself to being confident in Christ and His promises to me.. but whatever the reason.. I don't have that much confidence in that... I seem to desire approval and constant reassurance.. God is really not much for giving something over and over.. He expects us to trust Him... (not one of my strong points...) it also states that these things are demonic and they create disorder and evil.. well I am in agreement about that! I desire to keep my peace.. yet jealousy or insecurity brings disorder and upset...

wisdom from above is pure... it is loving and gentle.. willing to yield to others.. full of mercy and good deeds.. always showing no favoritism and is always sincere... I gotta tell you... this is good in writing but not so much in reality... I am not always loving and gentle.. although I am striving to be there.. I would say I am more often than ever before... willing to yield to others.. I don't care who you are.. giving up your will is a daily challenge! I can do the mercy and good deeds for the most part.. I am sincere.. even if you sincerely don't want to hear me.. LOL... I do show favoritism to people with a good spirit over those with a bad one... it is not intentional.. I just struggle to be around those with a bad spirit...

the scriptures are hard sometimes... we struggle to be who God wants us to be... but it is a constant battle.. a war within us between what feels good or protects us.. to what God wants us to do... I desire to do God's will.. but it is surely a battle... I am better than I used to be.. but it is surely a daily battle... thankfully my desire is to do God's will...