unity...

Psalms 133: 1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

I think I had a revelation this morning...
in the psalms above... it says how good and pleasant when brothers live together in unity.. it is like precious oil poured on the head... running down the beard... running down Aaron's beard.. we know that it is good when we live in unity/harmony... no fighting or disagreements... and we know that the oil mentioned really is the oil/Spirit of God... pouring down upon us... covering us... and HERE is where the Lord gives His blessing...

we all want the blessing of God.. and we all want harmony... if it is OUR version of harmony... we want things done our way... pleasing to OUR ears... this is not the way of God in either the house or in the church... in the house... if you are a woman.. a man is your head... and you have to submit to his way of things getting done... without dissention or arguing... without an attitude... in order to get the blessing of God... I had a man tell me once that I am blocking my blessings... (that particular man happens to be MY head... and that is not funny...)

I guess I struggle constantly with this... your head is not necessarily someone who is stepping up to what we like to think of as a head... you know what I mean... your husband may not lead the way you think he should... he may not choose to lead at all... that does not change the fact that he is the head in the eyes of God... or he may lead in ways that you don't like or don't want to go... it doesn't stop him from being the head...

there is a light in it though... he also has a head which is God and if he is not doing what God would have him do... then he will reap the repercussion of his actions...

so in order for us to have God's blessing... we have to give in to someone else's ideas of what is right.. and trust God to deal with the rest... which is SURELY a living sacrifice... we really do desire to have unity... just not at the cost that comes with it... but apparently we need to pay the price...

when we look at this from the church view... we may not agree with everything that leadership does... it is not for us to argue and gossip... causing dissention... God has placed that person over the ministry or over the church... and we need to allow that person to do what God has told them to do... in submission and prayer... even if they are wrong... that again is between them and God... trust and believe that the church is the BRIDE OF CHRIST... He will protect her... He will not allow man to destroy her... if you are not happy in your church and you refuse to submit... the least you can do is remain silent... or you can find another church... but I am sure that when you get to the new church.. you will still have to deal with the same issues that you had to deal with at the one you left... it will just be another head... when you don't correct the wrong within you... then the problem continues to follow you...

as for me... I am going to learn to submit to the head God has given me in the church and in the home... and I am going to learn to remain silent and in prayer when I disagree.... (for those of you who know my strong willed nature... please pray for me and don't mention the bruises you see on my knees from the hours of prayer...) I will submit through the strength of God... I will submit through the strength of God...

when a woman's fed up...

songs speak to me... songs like this one... speak to my flesh nature... and today I was driving down the street thinking.... oh yeah... this is me... there ain't nothing you can do about it...(part of the song...)(r. kelly has always been one of my kats... I tell you...)

but... strangely enough... while that song is playing and I am wanting to feel hard and in control for just a few minutes... I hear a song from when I was a kid... none of you will know this song... it was by a man named Jim Croce and it was called lover's cross... and this is some of the words... I really gotta hand it to you... babe you really tried... but for every time that we spent laughing there were two times that I cried... now you were trying to make me a martyr.. and that's one thing I just couldn't be... no baby I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you...

and man o day... that one smacked me hard... because I feel like that... I can't hang on no cross for you... I can't be a martyr for you.... but isn't that EXACTLY what Jesus did for us??? we didn't treat Him right... still don't sometimes... we are so guilty of wanting our own way... and even while we were so rude and selfish and ugly and mean... He hung on a Lover's Cross for each one of us... and He did not tell us that it would be easy... He told us that we would be washing people's feet... people who acted like they didn't care... we would be servants... because in the kingdom of God.. .whoever is the least is really the greatest... so the question really isn't what can someone else do for me... but how low can I go... how much of a servant am I really willing to be... we really don't want to serve... it's not so bad if they were people who are nice to us... but when they are not... then we want to buck up and tell God no way am I going to do all this... just no way...

well... Father... here I am one more time... ready to try again to be who You would choose for me to be... not who I desire to be.. but who You want me to be... I love You Father... enough to be the servant to Your family....

do you have eyes and ears...

Matthew 13:10 His disciples came and asked him, “Why do you use parables when you talk to the people?” 11 He replied, “You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not. 12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. 13 That is why I use these parables,For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear, but they don’t really listen or understand.

I don't know about you... but I think I tend to think that whatever gifts I have spiritually... everyone has... I do that in the natural realm too.. if I can do something.. then you should be able to also... but as I am maturing (lololol...) I realize this really isn't true... and I guess it is kind of sad...

I was given this scripture on Saturday morning.. and God shows me that while I can discern things from the scripture... not everyone can... I found that truly amazing.. and very sad for those who don't have it... I can read the scripture but hear God speaking to me individually through it... but I am guessing that not everyone can do that... so they look but not really see and they hear but don't really listen...

I wonder if it goes back to the hardened heart... I wonder if we can't hear in the spirit realm because we are too caught up in the natural realm... the bible tells us that as Christians this world is not our home and we really are not to be comfortable in it... so if we are so comfortable that we no longer can hear the voice of God... maybe we need to re-think our relationship with God... maybe we need to ask for the ability to hear the voice of God.. I cannot imagine not hearing from the Spirit of the Lord... I hope you cannot either...

source or resource...

I have read the story of the exodus of the children of Israel out of Egypt and into the promised land 1,000 times over and every single time I sit and think... what is wrong with these people... how can they not know that God will carry them... I mean come on now... look at all the miracles that were done during this time... for EVERYTHING... food, clothing, shelter... everything was provided by God...

this morning... some lights turn on and I realize I am the children of Israel...

I have been alone a long time... I have issues with trust... I used to always have someone in the background paying my bills and fixing my finances... and it was good.. lolol... at least in my eyes... and I realize that what that really did was cause me to expect for a person to be the source of meeting my needs...

so over the last 7 years God has been showing me that He is all I need and it has been good... just me and God and I trust Him to use whatever He chooses to help me when I need help and to teach me when I need taught and to love me when I need love... He has recreated an entire family down here for me... and I have been happy and satisfied...

so now.. as He throws people into the mix.. I realize that I tend to again look to people to be what I want them to be... not what God wants them to be... that is not good... for some psycho reason I want to keep trusting people instead of trusting God who has proven Himself over and over...

I think this is exactly what happened with the children of Israel... I think they kept complaining about Moses... and God kept saying they weren't complaining about Moses but about God... and the issue wasn't that they wanted to complain about Moses... they just kept seeing Moses as the one doing the miracles... the reason that happened is because Moses was the resource God was using to help the nation of Israel... but in truth... it was still God who was providing for them because God is the source... man is only resource... and I am thinking if we can quit looking to man to provide for us... whatever it is... it might be money... it might be love... it might be happiness.. it might be peace... whatever it is we are looking for... man can't give it... no man... not your mother.. your brother.. your sister.. your husband... all these things still have to come from the Source... we need to know that God is the one that will provide for us and keep us... God is our only Source no matter what resource He chooses to use... it still came from God...

I don't want to wander in the wilderness for 38 years... I don't want to wander not even one more day... Father forgive me for looking for anything other than you... I am satisfied in You... whatever else goes on... whatever the situation... You are all I need... and I praise You for being my God... in Jesus name... amen.amen.amen.

a hard heart...

Hebrews 3:7 That is why the Holy Spirit says,“Today when you hear his voice,8 don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness. 9 There your ancestors tested and tried my patience, even though they saw my miracles for forty years. 10 So I was angry with them, and I said, 'Their hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.’ 11 So in my anger I took an oath:‘They will never enter my place of rest.’”

I don't know about you... but I want to enter into the place of rest...

when I was very young... I learned that if your heart is hard.. you will not be hurt.. I was very young and learned to intentionally harden my heart... I could literally feel the coldness.. the hardness coming over it... and then within a few minutes... I didn't much care about whatever it was that was about to hurt me... now I knew that this was allowing the devil to reside within me... but somehow I thought that as long as I prayed and read my bible and stayed in the church that it was okay to keep a little bit of the devil's protection on my heart... there are also places in the bible that it is stated that God hardened someone's heart (the pharaoh is once instance...)so in my twisted mind I decide that this is all right to do sometimes... and nothing hurt me because it could not touch my heart... I didn't expect anything from anyone... I didn't need anyone... I didn't love anyone...

yet somehow in all my hardness God kept His hand upon me and still spoke to me and still led me... then came the day that He said enough was enough... and that was the end of all of it... He has since taken the hardness off of my heart... I am open to love... which also makes me open to pain... and it is scary... this had to be a conscious decision that I made... and continues to be daily something that I must strive for as the old ways are very easy to fall into... I must daily submit my will... my thoughts... my desires... my heart... my emotions... to Jehovah and allow Him to be the protector of my heart... and allow Him to lead me in the paths of righteousness...

we are to be the walking, talking love of God upon this earth... how can we do this with a hardened heart? with us constantly protecting ourselves... we do not allow God's love and goodness to shine out from withing us... open yourself up to God today... trust Him to be the protector of your heart... trust God to love you enough to overcome anything this world might bring against you...

God's goodness...

Exodus 4:10 But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”11 Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” 13 But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” 14 Then the Lord became angry with Moses. “All right,” he said. “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well. And look! He is on his way to meet you now. He will be delighted to see you. 15 Talk to him, and put the words in his mouth. I will be with both of you as you speak, and I will instruct you both in what to do. 16 Aaron will be your spokesman to the people. He will be your mouthpiece, and you will stand in the place of God for him, telling him what to say. 17 And take your shepherd’s staff with you, and use it to perform the miraculous signs I have shown you.”

I think we talk and are unaware of what we even say...

moses asks God to choose someone else... can you imagine trying to give away your purpose for having been created??? yet we do it all the time... we are afraid... we don't trust God... how many times have people been called into the service of God and try to get away from it...

look at the goodness of God.. even though He is angry with moses... even though moses did not want the job... even though he didn't trust that God would carry him... still... God will use him... God even allowed him to take his brother aaron along... and God didn't decide to forget him... God told him "you will stand in the place of God" can you imagine being used as the voice of God... wow...

can you imagine if God didn't use moses... surely He COULD have chosen someone else... as moses was hard headed... but imagine God did that with us... imagine that you cannot walk into your reason for being just because we are hard headed and doubtful and non trusting...

I am so thankful that instead of giving up on us... God will work with us to change our hearts so that we still can be of use to Him... I am sure that moses looked back with thankfulness when he realized that he had told God to choose someone else... I too am thankful that God didn't listen to me when I thought I would never do what He wanted me to do or be what He wanted me to be... I am so thankful that God is the God of patience and love in spite of us...