Psalms 139: 5  You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!

I don't know what the reason is.. but every now and again I realize how much I really love God.. I recognize how truly great He has been to me.. this past few days has been one of those times... 

I think about God and I see how great my life is right now.. I don't really have any drama.. any problems.. any upsets.. I don't feed into gossip for the most part.. I don't get involved in people talking about things that are none of my business to the best of my ability... I am able to pay my bills.. God has prospered me both spiritually and financially.. my physical body is in better shape than it has been for many years due to a trainer I love and do my best to listen to... 

I have had many years of drama... of disappointments.. of feeling unloved and unwanted... and now.. while I am not in a relationship with a man.. I see a man could never be to me what God has been for all of my life.. he could give me sex which I greatly desire.. (LOL) but a mortal man cannot give me peace and stability.. he cannot give me value even though for many years I looked for a man to do that for me.. he can't make me whole.. 

but God has done all of these things in me.. 

what more can a person really want in life other than what God has done for me.. how could I ever love a physical person the way I love the God of the universe... 

23  Search me, O God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
this is truly my prayer every morning.. that God will keep a watch over my mind, my mouth, my heart.. that He will lead me on the path that He has set before me and not allow me to be tempted by the left and the right... that I will live my life to His glory.. giving up all the things of this world that hold no value anyways... I pray that He will use me as He would see fit... to make a difference in His kingdom.. I am willing to live for Him and not my own desires..