confessions about me...
I am still the same selfish person I was as a child.. I really thought I had overcome it... I thought I was the image of God.. or at least becoming the image of God.. and today.. I realize.. I am still dealing with the same ugliness as always...
I can't stand people to touch my stuff... it doesn't matter what it is... I can't stand it...
I can't stand anyone in my space...
this morning God reminds me that repeatedly in my life.. He has uprooted me.. wiped out all of my possessions.. because of this very issue... He is trying to teach me that nothing belongs to me to begin with... it is His...
I had a dream once about someone not wanting me to touch their stuff.. and I couldn't clean the house because of it.. and he had to realize that he had to give me some space in the house too... yet I see myself doing this exact same thing to the young girl in my own house... she has nothing.. she has no one.. and I am selfish and don't want her to touch my stuff... and I remember that dream and how it felt to not belong in that house...
I have got to change.. I have to be able to open more than my mind or my words to the ways of God.. I have to be willing to open also my house.. my heart.. my belongings... because in the end.. none of it is mine anyways... it all belongs to God...
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
becoming who we are supposed to be
Romans 8: 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
I am going to talk only about me.. but hopefully we can all put our own selves in this same scenerio...
when I was young.. I was a spoiled brat... you couldn't tell me anything.. because I knew everything.. all the gifts that God had given me were just my idea of why I was so wonderful... I knew that God had given them to me.. but He did it because I was so wonderful... and people who didn't like me.. well.. that was their own insecurities showing up in their jealousy...
now... all these years later.. God has shown me.. through rough circumstances.. that nothing I have or am is anything.. and He could sweep it all away in the blink of an eye... I am a person of value.. not because of me.. but because of God within me.. God shining out of me is the only value that I have... that is not low self esteem.. that is knowing that God is in control of all... that I am only what He allows me to be.. I am a much better person than I was when I thought I was great.. I can see other people now.. before I was the center of the universe... now I can allow others to be my universe...
my son is continuously putting himself in a bad situation.. he gets out of one and right back into another.. while I know that much of this is due to the circumstances he grew up in.. I also know that God is working things out for his good... so I have to sit back sometimes and just allow it... I wish he didn't have to smack his head off the brick wall all the time.. but I know that until he is the man that God created him to be.. he is not of any eternal value... so when God changes him through all these circumstances.. it can be God getting the glory for the magnificent change that has taken place..
if we look at the fruit of the Spirit.. they are love, peace, joy, kindness, gentleness, goodness, compassion.. these attributes are built into us.. not by the easy situations in our lives.. but instead by the hard ones.. it is through walking through hell that we learn what it feels like to just need someone to reach out and hug us.. or pray with us.. or just be kind sometimes... that is what creates these attributes in us...
so while we don't want someone else to go through all the tragedy they may experience.. whether it is self induced or not... these are the things that make us and mold us into the children that God is willing to smile down and say.. that one is Mine...
I think it is time that we all learn to be thankful for the things that have broken us to the point where we are worth something to God.. now.. after the bad experiences.. He can use us.. because we are the image of Him.. after we have gone through circumstances that have broken all the self off of us.. we are now like new creatures.. soft and loving.. in the image of God.. and for our loved ones who are still banging their head off the brick walls.. we can rest assured that just like God continued to chase us down.. He will chase them down too.. and they too will be soft and loving.. and in the image of God... ready for kingdom work..
I am going to talk only about me.. but hopefully we can all put our own selves in this same scenerio...
when I was young.. I was a spoiled brat... you couldn't tell me anything.. because I knew everything.. all the gifts that God had given me were just my idea of why I was so wonderful... I knew that God had given them to me.. but He did it because I was so wonderful... and people who didn't like me.. well.. that was their own insecurities showing up in their jealousy...
now... all these years later.. God has shown me.. through rough circumstances.. that nothing I have or am is anything.. and He could sweep it all away in the blink of an eye... I am a person of value.. not because of me.. but because of God within me.. God shining out of me is the only value that I have... that is not low self esteem.. that is knowing that God is in control of all... that I am only what He allows me to be.. I am a much better person than I was when I thought I was great.. I can see other people now.. before I was the center of the universe... now I can allow others to be my universe...
my son is continuously putting himself in a bad situation.. he gets out of one and right back into another.. while I know that much of this is due to the circumstances he grew up in.. I also know that God is working things out for his good... so I have to sit back sometimes and just allow it... I wish he didn't have to smack his head off the brick wall all the time.. but I know that until he is the man that God created him to be.. he is not of any eternal value... so when God changes him through all these circumstances.. it can be God getting the glory for the magnificent change that has taken place..
if we look at the fruit of the Spirit.. they are love, peace, joy, kindness, gentleness, goodness, compassion.. these attributes are built into us.. not by the easy situations in our lives.. but instead by the hard ones.. it is through walking through hell that we learn what it feels like to just need someone to reach out and hug us.. or pray with us.. or just be kind sometimes... that is what creates these attributes in us...
so while we don't want someone else to go through all the tragedy they may experience.. whether it is self induced or not... these are the things that make us and mold us into the children that God is willing to smile down and say.. that one is Mine...
I think it is time that we all learn to be thankful for the things that have broken us to the point where we are worth something to God.. now.. after the bad experiences.. He can use us.. because we are the image of Him.. after we have gone through circumstances that have broken all the self off of us.. we are now like new creatures.. soft and loving.. in the image of God.. and for our loved ones who are still banging their head off the brick walls.. we can rest assured that just like God continued to chase us down.. He will chase them down too.. and they too will be soft and loving.. and in the image of God... ready for kingdom work..
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2 Samuel 6: 10-12
10 So David decided not to move the Ark of the Lord into the City of David. Instead, he took it to the house of Obed-edom of Gath. 11 The Ark of the Lord remained there in Obed-edom’s house for three months, and the Lord blessed Obed-edom and his entire household.
12 Then King David was told, “The Lord has blessed Obed-edom’s household and everything he has because of the Ark of God.” So David went there and brought the Ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the City of David with a great celebration.
when I woke up one morning about 2 or 3 weeks ago.. as has been the case for about the last 2 years.. I think.. oh I don't want to get up.. I just want to sleep forever... now we all know that I am getting plenty of sleep.. this is not about being tired in the physical sense.. I am tired in the mental or spiritual sense... and I have am reminded that a while ago.. I used to wake up smiling.. thinking about God and how much I am in love with Him.. and I would talk to Him much the same way that women talk to a man... then He told me He is no longer my Husband but now my Father... well.. I don't know about you.. but my own experience with fathers was not so great.. so I have not at all been thrilled about this... and I wonder.. what is it that changed? we know it isn't God.. we know that God is the same forevermore.. so the change had to occur in me...
in the scripture.. this is about the Ark of the covenant.. which represented the Presence of God... now we all know that the Ark is long since lost.. but yet we can have the Presence with us.. somehow.. some way.. we decide to walk away from the Presence of God in our lives all the time.. and then we wonder what happened...
I think that like any other relationship.. we need to be active in the relationship with God.. He has encouraged me to wake up 15 minutes earlier each day and meditate on Him for those 15 minutes.. to read just a verse or two and think on Him... He has also encouraged me to set aside an hour every evening.. before the TV comes on.. to read a chapter and meditate on Him.. then I go sit in the bathtub in the candlelight and be silent and still before Him for about 15 minutes... and give Him time to talk to me.. time to just be with Him... I am believing that as I am faithful in giving Him time.. He will again become the Joy of my Salvation...
we let circumstances determine our emotions.. we let our situation determine our spiritual high or low... really.. God hasn't changed.. we have.. when I was so in love with God I didn't have a job.. wasn't sure what was going to happen.. He brought me out of that state.. and in response.. I found more time for actions of worship but less time for true worship.. less time to truly sit still before God... I am walking forward in changing that.. day by day.. God will be my first thought and my last thought.. and many of the thoughts in between... I truly love Him and now I intend to really act like it.. I am sure if He were a man He would have long since left me... and I surely don't want Him to go... He is everything...
12 Then King David was told, “The Lord has blessed Obed-edom’s household and everything he has because of the Ark of God.” So David went there and brought the Ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the City of David with a great celebration.
when I woke up one morning about 2 or 3 weeks ago.. as has been the case for about the last 2 years.. I think.. oh I don't want to get up.. I just want to sleep forever... now we all know that I am getting plenty of sleep.. this is not about being tired in the physical sense.. I am tired in the mental or spiritual sense... and I have am reminded that a while ago.. I used to wake up smiling.. thinking about God and how much I am in love with Him.. and I would talk to Him much the same way that women talk to a man... then He told me He is no longer my Husband but now my Father... well.. I don't know about you.. but my own experience with fathers was not so great.. so I have not at all been thrilled about this... and I wonder.. what is it that changed? we know it isn't God.. we know that God is the same forevermore.. so the change had to occur in me...
in the scripture.. this is about the Ark of the covenant.. which represented the Presence of God... now we all know that the Ark is long since lost.. but yet we can have the Presence with us.. somehow.. some way.. we decide to walk away from the Presence of God in our lives all the time.. and then we wonder what happened...
I think that like any other relationship.. we need to be active in the relationship with God.. He has encouraged me to wake up 15 minutes earlier each day and meditate on Him for those 15 minutes.. to read just a verse or two and think on Him... He has also encouraged me to set aside an hour every evening.. before the TV comes on.. to read a chapter and meditate on Him.. then I go sit in the bathtub in the candlelight and be silent and still before Him for about 15 minutes... and give Him time to talk to me.. time to just be with Him... I am believing that as I am faithful in giving Him time.. He will again become the Joy of my Salvation...
we let circumstances determine our emotions.. we let our situation determine our spiritual high or low... really.. God hasn't changed.. we have.. when I was so in love with God I didn't have a job.. wasn't sure what was going to happen.. He brought me out of that state.. and in response.. I found more time for actions of worship but less time for true worship.. less time to truly sit still before God... I am walking forward in changing that.. day by day.. God will be my first thought and my last thought.. and many of the thoughts in between... I truly love Him and now I intend to really act like it.. I am sure if He were a man He would have long since left me... and I surely don't want Him to go... He is everything...
Monday, December 26, 2011
a few years ago something really tragic happened in my family... my sister's son killed my brother's son... it was an act of self defense.. they were both drunk and stupid and someone pulled a gun so someone protected his family and also pulled a gun and shot... tragic..
but what was more tragic was the fact that my brothers and sisters have allowed one tragic act to destroy the entire family... instead of just looking at the situation as horrible for the whole family.. they determined to lay blame on one another's children and now they don't speak.. they don't see one another...
and what I have really seen happen in this circumstance is for everyone's heart to become hard and bitter... and THAT is the real tragedy...
I wondered.. would we think that forgiveness is a learned behavior? would we imagine that a family doesn't forgive one another because they really haven't been taught how to be forgiving? or is it because they are unwilling to do the right thing? or is it really because God is not in the center of all of their lives....
we always hear that forgiveness is not as much for the other person as it is for the one doing the forgiving.. I would say that in the past I didn't believe this.. because I was the one that needed to forgive someone who had been wrong toward me.. but now.. when I can see this from the outside in.. I feel like the ones that need to forgive are the ones suffering.. and the saddest part to me is the fact that they don't even know it.. they cannot see their bitterness and how it is infecting their children.. and for generations to come they will now live with the fact of unforgiveness being a new generational curse...
I remember just recently telling my son that he needed to forgive his father for being the way that he has been... and my son didn't want to do it.. but I believe he did in the end and I am so glad that he did...
the bible tells us to protect our heart... we often feel like this is a free pass to treat someone else the same way they treated us.. that we don't need to be loving to everyone because we are protecting our heart... well is it possible.. that protecting your heart is really about protecting it from the bitterness that comes from unforgiveness.. the hardness of heart that the world views give us...
I believe that if we love with all our hearts.. everyone.. regardless of what they have done to us... then God will protect us from being destroyed.. we may get hurt.. everyone gets hurt.. but it will not destroy us.. and if we keep from getting bitter and angry.. we can grow from these situations...
people used to think I was such a strong person because of the things I have lived through.. it was not true.. I was very weak.. I was very hardhearted and unforgiving and angry and bitter... as I have become transformed by God.. I am much stronger now.. I can now love you in spite of how you act.. I may not agree with you.. but that doesn't make me be hard toward you anymore.. I can love someone I don't like anymore.. this is a much stronger person than the one who hates and is bitter...
I am so thankful to have learned the importance of forgiveness in our lives.. it has changed me...
but what was more tragic was the fact that my brothers and sisters have allowed one tragic act to destroy the entire family... instead of just looking at the situation as horrible for the whole family.. they determined to lay blame on one another's children and now they don't speak.. they don't see one another...
and what I have really seen happen in this circumstance is for everyone's heart to become hard and bitter... and THAT is the real tragedy...
I wondered.. would we think that forgiveness is a learned behavior? would we imagine that a family doesn't forgive one another because they really haven't been taught how to be forgiving? or is it because they are unwilling to do the right thing? or is it really because God is not in the center of all of their lives....
we always hear that forgiveness is not as much for the other person as it is for the one doing the forgiving.. I would say that in the past I didn't believe this.. because I was the one that needed to forgive someone who had been wrong toward me.. but now.. when I can see this from the outside in.. I feel like the ones that need to forgive are the ones suffering.. and the saddest part to me is the fact that they don't even know it.. they cannot see their bitterness and how it is infecting their children.. and for generations to come they will now live with the fact of unforgiveness being a new generational curse...
I remember just recently telling my son that he needed to forgive his father for being the way that he has been... and my son didn't want to do it.. but I believe he did in the end and I am so glad that he did...
the bible tells us to protect our heart... we often feel like this is a free pass to treat someone else the same way they treated us.. that we don't need to be loving to everyone because we are protecting our heart... well is it possible.. that protecting your heart is really about protecting it from the bitterness that comes from unforgiveness.. the hardness of heart that the world views give us...
I believe that if we love with all our hearts.. everyone.. regardless of what they have done to us... then God will protect us from being destroyed.. we may get hurt.. everyone gets hurt.. but it will not destroy us.. and if we keep from getting bitter and angry.. we can grow from these situations...
people used to think I was such a strong person because of the things I have lived through.. it was not true.. I was very weak.. I was very hardhearted and unforgiving and angry and bitter... as I have become transformed by God.. I am much stronger now.. I can now love you in spite of how you act.. I may not agree with you.. but that doesn't make me be hard toward you anymore.. I can love someone I don't like anymore.. this is a much stronger person than the one who hates and is bitter...
I am so thankful to have learned the importance of forgiveness in our lives.. it has changed me...
Saturday, December 24, 2011
John 13: 34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
if you remember back to the things that made the holidays so special in your life when you were a little one.. it really is not the gifts.. it is the love and the family that came together on the holidays.. some of us didn't get many gifts.. some of us really didn't get any love... it is far more of a tragedy to not receive love than to not receive gifts.. yet for whatever the reason.. every year.. we allow ourselves to stress and try to get all these wonderful gifts.. thinking that will be what shows love to our children or loved ones..
idk about you.. but if I could spend my day with the person/people I love the most.. that would be the greatest gift I could ever receive... that is what is important to me for christmas... being with the ones I love...
yea.. the gifts are nice... wonderful even.. but the love far exceeds all of that...
and this is our call to the world.. daily we are to be the living love of God to a world that may not ever feel loved... that is our real purpose in life.. to love those who don't know love... and this will prove to the world that we are living for God.. and that He lives within us..
if you remember back to the things that made the holidays so special in your life when you were a little one.. it really is not the gifts.. it is the love and the family that came together on the holidays.. some of us didn't get many gifts.. some of us really didn't get any love... it is far more of a tragedy to not receive love than to not receive gifts.. yet for whatever the reason.. every year.. we allow ourselves to stress and try to get all these wonderful gifts.. thinking that will be what shows love to our children or loved ones..
idk about you.. but if I could spend my day with the person/people I love the most.. that would be the greatest gift I could ever receive... that is what is important to me for christmas... being with the ones I love...
yea.. the gifts are nice... wonderful even.. but the love far exceeds all of that...
and this is our call to the world.. daily we are to be the living love of God to a world that may not ever feel loved... that is our real purpose in life.. to love those who don't know love... and this will prove to the world that we are living for God.. and that He lives within us..
Friday, December 23, 2011
Psalms 50: 16-23
16 But God says to the wicked: “Why bother reciting my decrees and pretending to obey my covenant?
17 For you refuse my discipline and treat my words like trash.
18 When you see thieves, you approve of them, and you spend your time with adulterers.
19 Your mouth is filled with wickedness, and your tongue is full of lies.
20 You sit around and slander your brother— your own mother’s son.
21 While you did all this, I remained silent, and you thought I didn’t care. But now I will rebuke you, listing all my charges against you.
22 Repent, all of you who forget me, or I will tear you apart, and no one will help you.
23 But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God.”
isn't this really what we are all like?? but we surely do not consider ourselves wicked... but we talk about people.. we tell casual lies.. sometimes we get caught up in 'religion' rather than worship.. sometimes we follow the rules but spend no time alone with God... how is that a relationship?? anyone that we have relationship with.. we spend time with.. therefore.. we obviously would need to spend time with God to stay in a healthy relationship with Him....
sometimes we do approve of thieves... we steal from the government.. through taxes.. through government programs.. we try to get all we can get even if we don't necessarily need it.. we feel we deserve it...
and God had remained silent... or did He? did we just ignore His gentle prodding that our actions are wrong...
but the great thing about God is... in the end.. He says.. repent... meaning there is another chance to get it right...
give thanks.. that is what He is really looking for... thankfulness for our lives.. even though they may not be what we want them to be.. they are not what someone else is surviving either... if we keep His path.. He will reveal to us salvation... and I don't know about you.. but I am trying to make that train!!
I think that God hand picks each of our trials... we cannot handle someone else's... or another person's could be too light and we would not even recognize the weight of it... and some days.. while I feel like I am just surviving till this storm passes... I know that it could truly be worse... and even in the heavy days.. the days that we are burdened for a long time about a situation.. even in those days.. rise up and praise God for His ultimate mercy and goodness... without it.. we would have no hope...
17 For you refuse my discipline and treat my words like trash.
18 When you see thieves, you approve of them, and you spend your time with adulterers.
19 Your mouth is filled with wickedness, and your tongue is full of lies.
20 You sit around and slander your brother— your own mother’s son.
21 While you did all this, I remained silent, and you thought I didn’t care. But now I will rebuke you, listing all my charges against you.
22 Repent, all of you who forget me, or I will tear you apart, and no one will help you.
23 But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God.”
isn't this really what we are all like?? but we surely do not consider ourselves wicked... but we talk about people.. we tell casual lies.. sometimes we get caught up in 'religion' rather than worship.. sometimes we follow the rules but spend no time alone with God... how is that a relationship?? anyone that we have relationship with.. we spend time with.. therefore.. we obviously would need to spend time with God to stay in a healthy relationship with Him....
sometimes we do approve of thieves... we steal from the government.. through taxes.. through government programs.. we try to get all we can get even if we don't necessarily need it.. we feel we deserve it...
and God had remained silent... or did He? did we just ignore His gentle prodding that our actions are wrong...
but the great thing about God is... in the end.. He says.. repent... meaning there is another chance to get it right...
give thanks.. that is what He is really looking for... thankfulness for our lives.. even though they may not be what we want them to be.. they are not what someone else is surviving either... if we keep His path.. He will reveal to us salvation... and I don't know about you.. but I am trying to make that train!!
I think that God hand picks each of our trials... we cannot handle someone else's... or another person's could be too light and we would not even recognize the weight of it... and some days.. while I feel like I am just surviving till this storm passes... I know that it could truly be worse... and even in the heavy days.. the days that we are burdened for a long time about a situation.. even in those days.. rise up and praise God for His ultimate mercy and goodness... without it.. we would have no hope...
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Ephesians 4: 29
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
the first thing that God cleaned up in me was my swearing/cuss words... yet there are many others who are in Christ or at least in the church.. that never cuss in public.. but certainly cuss plenty in private... and I couldn't understand why God felt this was an issue for me but not for so many others.. I still don't understand it really...
let everything you say be good and helpful.. that has more to do with our thoughts than cussing.. if our thoughts are dark.. we speak dark.. if our thoughts are light.. we speak light... meaning positive and negative.. so if we are always speaking negatively and condemnation of self or of others.. then our thoughts are not as they should be.. because out of the heart flows the words of our mouths...
hmmm.. I guess that would also mean.. if we are doubtful or untrusting.. even of God.. that doesn't really come from our words... although that is how is is revealed.. it comes flowing from our heart.. I would say even with me.. I was very sure of God.. very trusting.. until it seems to take forever.. then doubtful and unsure words seem to come from my mouth... which is actually coming from my heart.. these are seeds that I have allowed to take root and now I have to weed them out and burn them... I was thinking maybe I never heard from God at all.. or maybe I have deceived myself.. or maybe I am not that special to God afterall... all of these seeds had taken root... yesterday God said to me that I allow the actions of man (people) to cause me to doubt what He has said... and in truth.. that is meaning that even originally.. my trust had been in the actions of people and not the words God said..
our words should be an encouragement to all who hear them.. are we really that encouraging? or is it just that we want to imagine we are? do we complain? surely complaining around people would not be encouraging them... do we get irritated and talk in a way that is not encouraging? think even about the menial parts of your day.. the cooking dinner... are you complaining? or the going to work? if we instead realized how many people.. normal people just like us.. don't have food for dinner.. don't have a job to go to.. if we thought positive instead of always thinking of our own comfort.. how much of a change would that make in our daily speech?
I know for me there would be quite a lot of change.. and I am set upon starting it today.. not that long ago we did a fast of the tongue.. one day a week for 12hrs we only spoke what was necessary and good.. you find out that you speak way more negativity than you would have imagined.. I think I will go back to this practice.. but not only once a week.. more like daily... maybe I will start out with a few hours and build my way up to a lifelong change...
the first thing that God cleaned up in me was my swearing/cuss words... yet there are many others who are in Christ or at least in the church.. that never cuss in public.. but certainly cuss plenty in private... and I couldn't understand why God felt this was an issue for me but not for so many others.. I still don't understand it really...
let everything you say be good and helpful.. that has more to do with our thoughts than cussing.. if our thoughts are dark.. we speak dark.. if our thoughts are light.. we speak light... meaning positive and negative.. so if we are always speaking negatively and condemnation of self or of others.. then our thoughts are not as they should be.. because out of the heart flows the words of our mouths...
hmmm.. I guess that would also mean.. if we are doubtful or untrusting.. even of God.. that doesn't really come from our words... although that is how is is revealed.. it comes flowing from our heart.. I would say even with me.. I was very sure of God.. very trusting.. until it seems to take forever.. then doubtful and unsure words seem to come from my mouth... which is actually coming from my heart.. these are seeds that I have allowed to take root and now I have to weed them out and burn them... I was thinking maybe I never heard from God at all.. or maybe I have deceived myself.. or maybe I am not that special to God afterall... all of these seeds had taken root... yesterday God said to me that I allow the actions of man (people) to cause me to doubt what He has said... and in truth.. that is meaning that even originally.. my trust had been in the actions of people and not the words God said..
our words should be an encouragement to all who hear them.. are we really that encouraging? or is it just that we want to imagine we are? do we complain? surely complaining around people would not be encouraging them... do we get irritated and talk in a way that is not encouraging? think even about the menial parts of your day.. the cooking dinner... are you complaining? or the going to work? if we instead realized how many people.. normal people just like us.. don't have food for dinner.. don't have a job to go to.. if we thought positive instead of always thinking of our own comfort.. how much of a change would that make in our daily speech?
I know for me there would be quite a lot of change.. and I am set upon starting it today.. not that long ago we did a fast of the tongue.. one day a week for 12hrs we only spoke what was necessary and good.. you find out that you speak way more negativity than you would have imagined.. I think I will go back to this practice.. but not only once a week.. more like daily... maybe I will start out with a few hours and build my way up to a lifelong change...
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
today I am just talking..
I think have realized why so many of us.. myself included.. follow God for a time and then fall away...
Matthew 13: 3 He told many stories in the form of parables, such as this one: “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! 9 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
I think when time goes on.. we get weary.. we can't see the change we are looking for.. things are even harder than they were when we were in the world.. so as the trials and storms of life come on us... we fall away.. get washed away.. fall back into what is easier and more familiar... but if we remain true.. if we stand strong and continue forward.. there will be a harvest.. it may not be what we wanted it to be.. it may only be the lives that our own stories change.. but we will see the kingdom of God advanced.. if we only stand strong through the storms..
so many times in the past I followed God for a year or two.. then the world called me back.. because God was obviously not my first love.. I felt like so many others that I could keep one foot in the church and one foot in the world.. that going out really didn't affect me... I still loved God.. I still attended church.. fornication wasn't ruining my walk with God... yet if I am honest with myself.. these things DID affect my walk and my relationship with God.. I allowed the world into my mind.. and I was not completely devoted to God.. instead I was completely devoted to self.. with a little God on the side.. just for good measure...
so this time.. as I have remained faithful.. although not sinless.. I still see the struggle being in the mind.. it just seems so much smarter to think like the world.. it is so much safer.. we cannot be hurt if we cannot be touched... but as I continue to focus on what is right and pure and honorable and good.. and cast out the thoughts of what might be... then my life is being changed.. my heart is being cleansed..
I wondered how someone I know was so.. polly purebred all the time.. and this is the answer.. her mind is focused on the things of God and that which is pure.. and she is not allowing the ugly of the world to invade her mind long enough to made her worldly wise.. she is not allowing the circumstances that she lives to harden her heart.. she is centered.. in her mind.. on Christ.. above all else..
and I wanna be just like her when I grow up!
I think have realized why so many of us.. myself included.. follow God for a time and then fall away...
Matthew 13: 3 He told many stories in the form of parables, such as this one: “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! 9 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
I think when time goes on.. we get weary.. we can't see the change we are looking for.. things are even harder than they were when we were in the world.. so as the trials and storms of life come on us... we fall away.. get washed away.. fall back into what is easier and more familiar... but if we remain true.. if we stand strong and continue forward.. there will be a harvest.. it may not be what we wanted it to be.. it may only be the lives that our own stories change.. but we will see the kingdom of God advanced.. if we only stand strong through the storms..
so many times in the past I followed God for a year or two.. then the world called me back.. because God was obviously not my first love.. I felt like so many others that I could keep one foot in the church and one foot in the world.. that going out really didn't affect me... I still loved God.. I still attended church.. fornication wasn't ruining my walk with God... yet if I am honest with myself.. these things DID affect my walk and my relationship with God.. I allowed the world into my mind.. and I was not completely devoted to God.. instead I was completely devoted to self.. with a little God on the side.. just for good measure...
so this time.. as I have remained faithful.. although not sinless.. I still see the struggle being in the mind.. it just seems so much smarter to think like the world.. it is so much safer.. we cannot be hurt if we cannot be touched... but as I continue to focus on what is right and pure and honorable and good.. and cast out the thoughts of what might be... then my life is being changed.. my heart is being cleansed..
I wondered how someone I know was so.. polly purebred all the time.. and this is the answer.. her mind is focused on the things of God and that which is pure.. and she is not allowing the ugly of the world to invade her mind long enough to made her worldly wise.. she is not allowing the circumstances that she lives to harden her heart.. she is centered.. in her mind.. on Christ.. above all else..
and I wanna be just like her when I grow up!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
perception...
Luke 1: 46 Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! 48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. 49 For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. 50 He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him. 51 His mighty arm has done tremendous things! He has scattered the proud and haughty ones. 52 He has brought down princes from their thrones and exalted the humble. 53 He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands. 54 He has helped his servant Israel and remembered to be merciful. 55 For he made this promise to our ancestors, to Abraham and his children forever.” 56 Mary stayed with Elizabeth about three months and then went back to her own home.
this is what mary said when she was pregnant.. unmarried.. and carrying the savior of the world...
now... I don't know about you... but most of us.. myself included.. tend to see what is wrong in a situation rather than what is right.. it is about our perception... we look at what needs fixed rather than what is spectacular...
realistically speaking.. mary's parents surely think she slept with joseph... who she is engaged to... can you imagine your daughter coming to you and telling you an angel told her she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit... come on now.. she is trying to cover up her own lack of fidelity before marriage.. that is just how we think..
joseph.. the husband to be.. KNOWS HE didn't sleep with her.. so obviously.. someone else has.. and he is planning to leave her behind this action.. which most men would... in those days.. they are contractually bound from the time of engagement but not allowed alone together so this type of thing can't happen... yet it has.. so it has got to be another man.. he probably doesn't even ASK her what happened.. instead just accuses her of sleeping with someone... but he doesn't want to shame her so he is going to QUIETLY divorce her.. since when is divorce EVER quiet?? even now...
yet mary praises God.. that He chose her above all the other righteous women in judea.. and she is praising Him and telling Him what an aweseome honor it is...
again.. here would be me.. saying LORD.. how can I do this??? everyone will think I am a whore and say I am crazy... everyone will hate me.. they will hate my son all of his life.. we will always live in shame.. the man I love no longer wants me.. my parents don't believe in me.. why would you do this to me?? why wouldn't you choose someone else for this??? yea.. I get that it is supposed to be some great honor.. but it surely doesn't feel like one right now.. please get me out of this...
today I say.. Father.. I praise your Holy Name.. I lift you above all the heavens.. I cannot understand why you would choose a lowly servant like me for such an amazing and awesome calling.. Lord I cannot say how much I love and adore you.. there are no words for this honor you have bestowed upon me.. I praise you for your faithfulness to me and all the generations.. your word always holds true.. everything that you promise comes to pass.. you have lifted my name and my face.. you have shown me love far beyond what I deserve or expect.. I honor you Lord above all things..
this is what mary said when she was pregnant.. unmarried.. and carrying the savior of the world...
now... I don't know about you... but most of us.. myself included.. tend to see what is wrong in a situation rather than what is right.. it is about our perception... we look at what needs fixed rather than what is spectacular...
realistically speaking.. mary's parents surely think she slept with joseph... who she is engaged to... can you imagine your daughter coming to you and telling you an angel told her she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit... come on now.. she is trying to cover up her own lack of fidelity before marriage.. that is just how we think..
joseph.. the husband to be.. KNOWS HE didn't sleep with her.. so obviously.. someone else has.. and he is planning to leave her behind this action.. which most men would... in those days.. they are contractually bound from the time of engagement but not allowed alone together so this type of thing can't happen... yet it has.. so it has got to be another man.. he probably doesn't even ASK her what happened.. instead just accuses her of sleeping with someone... but he doesn't want to shame her so he is going to QUIETLY divorce her.. since when is divorce EVER quiet?? even now...
yet mary praises God.. that He chose her above all the other righteous women in judea.. and she is praising Him and telling Him what an aweseome honor it is...
again.. here would be me.. saying LORD.. how can I do this??? everyone will think I am a whore and say I am crazy... everyone will hate me.. they will hate my son all of his life.. we will always live in shame.. the man I love no longer wants me.. my parents don't believe in me.. why would you do this to me?? why wouldn't you choose someone else for this??? yea.. I get that it is supposed to be some great honor.. but it surely doesn't feel like one right now.. please get me out of this...
today I say.. Father.. I praise your Holy Name.. I lift you above all the heavens.. I cannot understand why you would choose a lowly servant like me for such an amazing and awesome calling.. Lord I cannot say how much I love and adore you.. there are no words for this honor you have bestowed upon me.. I praise you for your faithfulness to me and all the generations.. your word always holds true.. everything that you promise comes to pass.. you have lifted my name and my face.. you have shown me love far beyond what I deserve or expect.. I honor you Lord above all things..
Friday, December 9, 2011
self esteem vs God esteem...
Isaiah 53:1 Who has believed our message? To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm? 2 My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him. 3 He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5 But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.
7 He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8 Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. 9 He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.
10 But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants.He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. 11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. 12 I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.
we can think of all the things we blame on having low self esteem.. promiscuity.. drugs... lack of initiative to work or provide.. depression.. anger... resentment...
truly... Jesus did not have high self esteem.. he did not pick up his divinity and power and use it to his benefit.. everything that he had at his disposal.. he could easily have risen above man and taken power.. he could have chosen to stop man from coming against him.. but he laid down his entire life.. he lived as a servant.. without love.. without family.. to continue to give and save those around him but also for generations to come...
we often refuse to be a martyr.. we refuse to truly be a servant.. we refuse to lay down our own lives of comfort and give peace and joy to someone else in place of us having it... honestly.. we are unwilling to give up a day a month and do community service at maybe a soup kitchen or a shelter... we are selfish and constantly building ourselves up to say all that we are worth.. in truth.. if we died today.. how many lives would we have impacted? would 20 people be able to say that we represented Christ for them? are our actions and words a replica of the life of Christ...
our value needs to come from how God sees us.. not how man sees us.. we work so hard to please man and all the while shoving God to the side or the bottom.. never giving him our first fruits in action or finance or even in words... if our value came from God.. from what God sees in us.. wouldn't we then be willing to lay down our own desires and live for others.. even though this is not the popular plan.. it is the life of Christ and should be the life of each one of us.. this is what our children should be able to remember in us... this is what others should say about us when we are gone.. if Christ was crushed for God's good will.. what would make us imagine we would not be...
nothing to attract us to him. 3 He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5 But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.
7 He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8 Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. 9 He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.
10 But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants.He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. 11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. 12 I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.
we can think of all the things we blame on having low self esteem.. promiscuity.. drugs... lack of initiative to work or provide.. depression.. anger... resentment...
truly... Jesus did not have high self esteem.. he did not pick up his divinity and power and use it to his benefit.. everything that he had at his disposal.. he could easily have risen above man and taken power.. he could have chosen to stop man from coming against him.. but he laid down his entire life.. he lived as a servant.. without love.. without family.. to continue to give and save those around him but also for generations to come...
we often refuse to be a martyr.. we refuse to truly be a servant.. we refuse to lay down our own lives of comfort and give peace and joy to someone else in place of us having it... honestly.. we are unwilling to give up a day a month and do community service at maybe a soup kitchen or a shelter... we are selfish and constantly building ourselves up to say all that we are worth.. in truth.. if we died today.. how many lives would we have impacted? would 20 people be able to say that we represented Christ for them? are our actions and words a replica of the life of Christ...
our value needs to come from how God sees us.. not how man sees us.. we work so hard to please man and all the while shoving God to the side or the bottom.. never giving him our first fruits in action or finance or even in words... if our value came from God.. from what God sees in us.. wouldn't we then be willing to lay down our own desires and live for others.. even though this is not the popular plan.. it is the life of Christ and should be the life of each one of us.. this is what our children should be able to remember in us... this is what others should say about us when we are gone.. if Christ was crushed for God's good will.. what would make us imagine we would not be...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Psalms 139: 16-18
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
do we really imagine our lives are already recorded in God's book of life? I don't think we do.. if we did.. why do we imagine that things will not work out? I mean realistically.. they may not work out as we desire.. but they will still work out to the best for all involved... if you think about the people who have come and gone in your life and how we tried sometimes to hold on to them.. maybe if we had been able to keep on to them.. they or you.. would never have taken the road you should have taken... what if we were able to get rid of people that we see as an annoyance.. possibly we would not have been changed and shaped by their abrasive personality... sometimes I cannot see the day before me.. sometimes I have completely forgotten in my eye the picture of the future God has spoken to me about... those are the days that I think I must not be praying right... I must not be asking in the right manner.. maybe I should be fasting and sacrificing... maybe I never saw what I thought I saw... some days we think God doesn't see our pain or our frustration.. we think that maybe He doesn't care.. we can't hear Him sometimes.. His voice is muffled..
if we really accepted that God already has written out what will happen.. if we accept that His will is already set.. that we will walk into it when it is right.. then all this frustration could possibly be avoided...
how precious are His thoughts about me.. they cannot be numbered.. the idea that all the time.. God is in heaven thinking great thoughts about us... what a picture that is... what an amazing idea... yet here we are.. thinking God has forgotten us.. thinking God is not going to work our situation out... disillusioned by what we see... dishearted by what we hear...
today is a new day... believe.. speak.. walk.. in the truth of God's word.. believe He has already worked your situation out.. speak that He is sitting on the throne.. thinking about how much He loves you... walk in the truth of God's word...
do we really imagine our lives are already recorded in God's book of life? I don't think we do.. if we did.. why do we imagine that things will not work out? I mean realistically.. they may not work out as we desire.. but they will still work out to the best for all involved... if you think about the people who have come and gone in your life and how we tried sometimes to hold on to them.. maybe if we had been able to keep on to them.. they or you.. would never have taken the road you should have taken... what if we were able to get rid of people that we see as an annoyance.. possibly we would not have been changed and shaped by their abrasive personality... sometimes I cannot see the day before me.. sometimes I have completely forgotten in my eye the picture of the future God has spoken to me about... those are the days that I think I must not be praying right... I must not be asking in the right manner.. maybe I should be fasting and sacrificing... maybe I never saw what I thought I saw... some days we think God doesn't see our pain or our frustration.. we think that maybe He doesn't care.. we can't hear Him sometimes.. His voice is muffled..
if we really accepted that God already has written out what will happen.. if we accept that His will is already set.. that we will walk into it when it is right.. then all this frustration could possibly be avoided...
how precious are His thoughts about me.. they cannot be numbered.. the idea that all the time.. God is in heaven thinking great thoughts about us... what a picture that is... what an amazing idea... yet here we are.. thinking God has forgotten us.. thinking God is not going to work our situation out... disillusioned by what we see... dishearted by what we hear...
today is a new day... believe.. speak.. walk.. in the truth of God's word.. believe He has already worked your situation out.. speak that He is sitting on the throne.. thinking about how much He loves you... walk in the truth of God's word...
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
all tied up
I saw before my eyes.. my hands tied together behind my back... there is plenty of scripture about being tied up and beaten or killed.. sometimes it was the intention yet it was not accomplished... it seems that the enemy is forever trying to get us so that we cannot do anything.. we are instead stuck with no hands.. but some times.. being tied up and powerless comes from God...
ezekiel 3: 24 Then the Spirit came into me and set me on my feet. He spoke to me and said, “Go to your house and shut yourself in. 25 There, son of man, you will be tied with ropes so you cannot go out among the people. 26 And I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be speechless and unable to rebuke them, for they are rebels.
I often wonder if I should have been silent long ago and now I am being forced into a season of silence.. with my hands tied so I cannot do anything to help someone.. maybe some times people have to be able to see and accept for themselves without any help from someone who can see...
who knows.. maybe I am the one who will see at the end of the silence... at this point... only God truly knows the outcome.. we can think and imagine and even be shown.. but the truth of what we think will be shown by God in the end..
ezekiel 3: 24 Then the Spirit came into me and set me on my feet. He spoke to me and said, “Go to your house and shut yourself in. 25 There, son of man, you will be tied with ropes so you cannot go out among the people. 26 And I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be speechless and unable to rebuke them, for they are rebels.
I often wonder if I should have been silent long ago and now I am being forced into a season of silence.. with my hands tied so I cannot do anything to help someone.. maybe some times people have to be able to see and accept for themselves without any help from someone who can see...
who knows.. maybe I am the one who will see at the end of the silence... at this point... only God truly knows the outcome.. we can think and imagine and even be shown.. but the truth of what we think will be shown by God in the end..
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Speak Life
Luke 6: 45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
out of the mouth speaks what the heart is full of... what is it that comes out of our mouth?
as much as I have changed.. yet there is evil in my heart sometimes... there are mean and dark thoughts.. people I don't like.. things I do that I shouldn't....
we can ask God daily to change our hearts.. to cleanse it... yet somehow.. the world still seeps into it and makes it dark...
I will use my own example of gossip... as this is one of my largest weaknesses...
I can tell myself daily that I will speak nothing negative about anyone.. yet daily.. some piece of something comes out of my mouth...
even if we only talk about our children.. we can determine to say nothing but good things about them.. speak nothing but life... yet the words that come out are still not what they should be.. they are better than what may have been in the past.. but not what they should be...
God spoke to me one day that as long as we are influencing a child.. anyone's child.. it is our responsibility to speak life and hope into the child.. if you think back to your childhood.. the things we tend to remember are the ones that should not have ever been said to us... if we take this stance on everyone that we know.. refuse to speak negative things.. even if they are true.. and instead find the life in that person.. find the positive and speak that out instead.. how much better a world this will be.. even just our own small world...
speak life daily.. as we reap what we sow.. don't we desire to receive life and not death... the future lies in our words.. speak life..
out of the mouth speaks what the heart is full of... what is it that comes out of our mouth?
as much as I have changed.. yet there is evil in my heart sometimes... there are mean and dark thoughts.. people I don't like.. things I do that I shouldn't....
we can ask God daily to change our hearts.. to cleanse it... yet somehow.. the world still seeps into it and makes it dark...
I will use my own example of gossip... as this is one of my largest weaknesses...
I can tell myself daily that I will speak nothing negative about anyone.. yet daily.. some piece of something comes out of my mouth...
even if we only talk about our children.. we can determine to say nothing but good things about them.. speak nothing but life... yet the words that come out are still not what they should be.. they are better than what may have been in the past.. but not what they should be...
God spoke to me one day that as long as we are influencing a child.. anyone's child.. it is our responsibility to speak life and hope into the child.. if you think back to your childhood.. the things we tend to remember are the ones that should not have ever been said to us... if we take this stance on everyone that we know.. refuse to speak negative things.. even if they are true.. and instead find the life in that person.. find the positive and speak that out instead.. how much better a world this will be.. even just our own small world...
speak life daily.. as we reap what we sow.. don't we desire to receive life and not death... the future lies in our words.. speak life..
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Leah's Beauty
Genesis 29: 17 There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face.
imagine this being what is in the bible about you... the bible.. read around the world.. for thousands and thousands of years... everyone in the world knows of the bible whether they read it or not.. and always when they speak of leah.. they speak about her lack of beauty....
what is that really about?? worse yet.. do we do that to people too?? do we look at someone and determine all that is wrong with them instead of searching out their good qualities? and if we do that... what would we feel if everyone did that to us... and maybe they really do...
not all of us are beautiful in the face.. not all of us have a beautiful body... but every one of us has the ability to be a beautiful person... and part of us being beautiful is to look for the good in someone else instead of only seeing what is not attractive... every one of us has qualities that make us unattractive too...
it should be our goal to find the beauty in a person.. every person.. instead of focusing on what is wrong with them...
leah was someone who was a good mother.. she was strong and dependable.. she relied on God above man.. she loved her husband despite the fact that he treated her badly and didn't even know that he loved her or needed her.. she continued to be a woman of God in spite of her circumstance.. that should be how people remember us.. as a woman of God "in spite of"....
Philippians 4: 7-9 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
when the things of God are our focus.. peace will be the result... beauty will come from within us and make us loveable regardless of our appearance...
1 Peter 3: 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
leah was beautiful in the eyes of God.. those are the eyes that really matter to me.. if I am beautiful to God.. in my spirit... then I am satisfied...
imagine this being what is in the bible about you... the bible.. read around the world.. for thousands and thousands of years... everyone in the world knows of the bible whether they read it or not.. and always when they speak of leah.. they speak about her lack of beauty....
what is that really about?? worse yet.. do we do that to people too?? do we look at someone and determine all that is wrong with them instead of searching out their good qualities? and if we do that... what would we feel if everyone did that to us... and maybe they really do...
not all of us are beautiful in the face.. not all of us have a beautiful body... but every one of us has the ability to be a beautiful person... and part of us being beautiful is to look for the good in someone else instead of only seeing what is not attractive... every one of us has qualities that make us unattractive too...
it should be our goal to find the beauty in a person.. every person.. instead of focusing on what is wrong with them...
leah was someone who was a good mother.. she was strong and dependable.. she relied on God above man.. she loved her husband despite the fact that he treated her badly and didn't even know that he loved her or needed her.. she continued to be a woman of God in spite of her circumstance.. that should be how people remember us.. as a woman of God "in spite of"....
Philippians 4: 7-9 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
when the things of God are our focus.. peace will be the result... beauty will come from within us and make us loveable regardless of our appearance...
1 Peter 3: 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
leah was beautiful in the eyes of God.. those are the eyes that really matter to me.. if I am beautiful to God.. in my spirit... then I am satisfied...
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Proverbs 2: 5-13
5 Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. 6 Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. 7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. 8 If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. 9 She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown.”
10 My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. 11 I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. 12 When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. 13 Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.
someone said today that wisdom is using the experiences that we learn through our life and the lives of those around us to make the right choices...
for me.. I don't think wisdom is really about life experiences... at least not the physical ones..
in the past.. everything I did was based on what I learned from hard life experiences.. and it made me hard hearted... and mean.. and selfish..
but now.. I use God's will and God's love to direct my paths.. and it may not look like I want it to.. it may not work out to make me overly happy.. but it still will work out to be the right thing..
so I don't think wisdom has anything to do with life... I think it has all to do with God and the leading and promptings of God.. I think it is about doing the God thing even when it doesn't seem like the right thing... I think it is about having faith and purpose and putting God first in our lives.. and keeping Him there... and allowing all the things of this earth... all the desires of this flesh.. to just fall away.. and trust that in His time.. He will satisfy not only our needs.. but our desires too...
10 My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. 11 I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. 12 When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. 13 Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.
someone said today that wisdom is using the experiences that we learn through our life and the lives of those around us to make the right choices...
for me.. I don't think wisdom is really about life experiences... at least not the physical ones..
in the past.. everything I did was based on what I learned from hard life experiences.. and it made me hard hearted... and mean.. and selfish..
but now.. I use God's will and God's love to direct my paths.. and it may not look like I want it to.. it may not work out to make me overly happy.. but it still will work out to be the right thing..
so I don't think wisdom has anything to do with life... I think it has all to do with God and the leading and promptings of God.. I think it is about doing the God thing even when it doesn't seem like the right thing... I think it is about having faith and purpose and putting God first in our lives.. and keeping Him there... and allowing all the things of this earth... all the desires of this flesh.. to just fall away.. and trust that in His time.. He will satisfy not only our needs.. but our desires too...
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Colossians 2: 20
20 The people of the world believe certain basic things. You died with Christ as far as things like that are concerned. So why do you act as if you still belong to the world?
why do we act as if we still belong to the world?.. this is a big question for me.. truly.. I am not easily led by what someone else thinks about me.. but I am finding... that apparently being different is harder for me than I thought... when I gave myself to Christ completely.. He changed my mind and my thinking... and I felt like no one else really understood how I think.. even people in ministry seemed to have some worldly views about some things.. and that threw me off.. and I think that made me think that maybe I am wrong.. maybe I am not supposed to be so different from the world as I had thought... maybe it is not right to be so separated that you think about the things you do before doing them...
so I think I allowed my mind to go back to the world a little bit... and even though I wasn't doing anything physically.. in my mind I think I was thinking things out.. and determining that maybe that is normal.. maybe it just isn't real to live a life so far above the natural mind... so maybe I could concede some things...
I had asked God for clarity in this issue.. and I think today I have received it... I think God is telling me today that what He puts in my heart for me to do may not be what someone else is told to do.. or maybe they are not willing to do it.. maybe they are not willing to completely forsake worldly lifestyles.. but for me.. that IS what He said to me.. that IS what He is expecting from me.. and because He has said it to me.. anything less is sin.. for me.. but it is not for me to tell someone else what their sin is.. and judge them for their actions.. it is for me to do what I am told to do.. and focus on me...
and because God has called me to righteousness and purity.. I need to allow Him to re-cleanse my mind of the thinking of this world.. and live what He is calling me to live.. without looking at how anyone else is living.. as it is none of my business..
why do we act as if we still belong to the world?.. this is a big question for me.. truly.. I am not easily led by what someone else thinks about me.. but I am finding... that apparently being different is harder for me than I thought... when I gave myself to Christ completely.. He changed my mind and my thinking... and I felt like no one else really understood how I think.. even people in ministry seemed to have some worldly views about some things.. and that threw me off.. and I think that made me think that maybe I am wrong.. maybe I am not supposed to be so different from the world as I had thought... maybe it is not right to be so separated that you think about the things you do before doing them...
so I think I allowed my mind to go back to the world a little bit... and even though I wasn't doing anything physically.. in my mind I think I was thinking things out.. and determining that maybe that is normal.. maybe it just isn't real to live a life so far above the natural mind... so maybe I could concede some things...
I had asked God for clarity in this issue.. and I think today I have received it... I think God is telling me today that what He puts in my heart for me to do may not be what someone else is told to do.. or maybe they are not willing to do it.. maybe they are not willing to completely forsake worldly lifestyles.. but for me.. that IS what He said to me.. that IS what He is expecting from me.. and because He has said it to me.. anything less is sin.. for me.. but it is not for me to tell someone else what their sin is.. and judge them for their actions.. it is for me to do what I am told to do.. and focus on me...
and because God has called me to righteousness and purity.. I need to allow Him to re-cleanse my mind of the thinking of this world.. and live what He is calling me to live.. without looking at how anyone else is living.. as it is none of my business..
Friday, November 25, 2011
Psalms 62: 1-2
1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.
if you look up the word "wait" in the bible... there are MANY scriptures attached to it... it seems that no one in the world is exempt from waiting on the Lord.. as much as we want to imagine we are special.. every one of us will wait upon God for something if not many things..
God uses this time of waiting to change us.. to teach us.. to get us to trust Him.. to make us strong and sure... and for all the great things that may come out of waiting.. yet we hate it..
I am determined today to be anxious in waiting upon the Lord's promises.. I can rest assured that He is a God of His word.. He will keep His promises.. He will come through when He is ready.. or when I am ready may be the truth of it.. and daily I will look to God in the morning and say to Him... Father.. if this is the day.. I thank you... and if this is not the day.. still I thank you.. teach me what you will.. change me as you will.. create in me a clean heart and clean hands.. and I am so anxiously awaiting the fulfillment of the promise you have given me... I love you more than anything...
if you look up the word "wait" in the bible... there are MANY scriptures attached to it... it seems that no one in the world is exempt from waiting on the Lord.. as much as we want to imagine we are special.. every one of us will wait upon God for something if not many things..
God uses this time of waiting to change us.. to teach us.. to get us to trust Him.. to make us strong and sure... and for all the great things that may come out of waiting.. yet we hate it..
I am determined today to be anxious in waiting upon the Lord's promises.. I can rest assured that He is a God of His word.. He will keep His promises.. He will come through when He is ready.. or when I am ready may be the truth of it.. and daily I will look to God in the morning and say to Him... Father.. if this is the day.. I thank you... and if this is not the day.. still I thank you.. teach me what you will.. change me as you will.. create in me a clean heart and clean hands.. and I am so anxiously awaiting the fulfillment of the promise you have given me... I love you more than anything...
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thankful...
today I look back at the past years of thanksgiving holidays in my life..
when I was young I felt that it was much confusion and disruption.. not realizing I was blessed to have such a large family... not realizing that I had what many people look a lifetime to have... I was raised to be a Christian.. I was in the church since birth.. I was saved by 5years old.. I had been given a vision by 18years old.. (which I refused by the way.. )
I determined to have my own way over God's and by the middle of my twenties I was in an abusive marriage.. fearful every waking moment.. sleeping with a knife under my pillow.. he had nailed windows in the house shut so that I could not get away while he slept... a very frightening life.. every day... never sure what would set it off.. so I just never spoke.. not at all...
now.. God has delivered me from where I was.. I have been given a new family... (as my first one disowned me..over racism and prejudice..)I have a good job.. a wonderful church.. a vision.. (that miraculously is not too far from the original one at 18...)
I am truly grateful... God has been very good to me.. for many years I was rebellious.. like the people of Israel.. and God chose to break me rather than leave me.. and I am so thankful that He did it His way... I have a wonderful life now.. God is truly my focus.. and whatever He does is all right with me...
I pray that each of you will come to the place in your life that you can look back and see all that God saved you from so that you can use that knowledge to know that He has a purpose in your life.. and allow Him to lead you into it...
Happy Thanksgiving...
when I was young I felt that it was much confusion and disruption.. not realizing I was blessed to have such a large family... not realizing that I had what many people look a lifetime to have... I was raised to be a Christian.. I was in the church since birth.. I was saved by 5years old.. I had been given a vision by 18years old.. (which I refused by the way.. )
I determined to have my own way over God's and by the middle of my twenties I was in an abusive marriage.. fearful every waking moment.. sleeping with a knife under my pillow.. he had nailed windows in the house shut so that I could not get away while he slept... a very frightening life.. every day... never sure what would set it off.. so I just never spoke.. not at all...
now.. God has delivered me from where I was.. I have been given a new family... (as my first one disowned me..over racism and prejudice..)I have a good job.. a wonderful church.. a vision.. (that miraculously is not too far from the original one at 18...)
I am truly grateful... God has been very good to me.. for many years I was rebellious.. like the people of Israel.. and God chose to break me rather than leave me.. and I am so thankful that He did it His way... I have a wonderful life now.. God is truly my focus.. and whatever He does is all right with me...
I pray that each of you will come to the place in your life that you can look back and see all that God saved you from so that you can use that knowledge to know that He has a purpose in your life.. and allow Him to lead you into it...
Happy Thanksgiving...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
1 Chronicles 16: 28-36
28 O nations of the world, recognize the Lord, recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong. 29 Give to the Lord the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come into his presence. Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor. 30 Let all the earth tremble before him. The world stands firm and cannot be shaken.
31 Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!” 32 Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise! Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy! 33 Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise, for the Lord is coming to judge the earth.
34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. 35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation! Gather and rescue us from among the nations, so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”
36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
31 Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!” 32 Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise! Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy! 33 Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise, for the Lord is coming to judge the earth.
34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. 35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation! Gather and rescue us from among the nations, so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”
36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
1 Chronicles 16:17-27
17 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant: 18 “I will give you the land of Canaan as your special possession.”
19 He said this when you were few in number, a tiny group of strangers in Canaan. 20 They wandered from nation to nation,
from one kingdom to another. 21 Yet he did not let anyone oppress them. He warned kings on their behalf: 22 “Do not touch my chosen people, and do not hurt my prophets.”
23 Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. 24 Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. 25 Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods. 26 The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens! 27 Honor and majesty surround him;
strength and joy fill his dwelling.
do we really.. way down deep realize how amazing God is... do we recognize His Awesome Greatness...
I think far too often we get caught up in our needs and wants and desires.. we don't really think about and meditate on the greatness of our God.. we instead meditate on what we want or need... if we take 5 minutes a day.. think about the greatness of creation... both outside and with our own bodies.. what amazing things our Lord has done... how intricate the detail of His plans... I think our outlook will change...
He is our protector.. we may not have all we want.. but all that we have done.. the places we have gone.. idk about you.. but I know I could have been laying dead in a grave.. but God chose to cover me and protect me from those who hate me and those who said they loved me.. even though they didn't...
God is most worthy of ALL our praise... we praise man all the time.. when will we ever realize that man would not exist without God... we would not even be here.. if it were not for His greatness.. His love.. His grace.. His mercy...
thank you Father... I do love you so...
19 He said this when you were few in number, a tiny group of strangers in Canaan. 20 They wandered from nation to nation,
from one kingdom to another. 21 Yet he did not let anyone oppress them. He warned kings on their behalf: 22 “Do not touch my chosen people, and do not hurt my prophets.”
23 Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. 24 Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. 25 Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods. 26 The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens! 27 Honor and majesty surround him;
strength and joy fill his dwelling.
do we really.. way down deep realize how amazing God is... do we recognize His Awesome Greatness...
I think far too often we get caught up in our needs and wants and desires.. we don't really think about and meditate on the greatness of our God.. we instead meditate on what we want or need... if we take 5 minutes a day.. think about the greatness of creation... both outside and with our own bodies.. what amazing things our Lord has done... how intricate the detail of His plans... I think our outlook will change...
He is our protector.. we may not have all we want.. but all that we have done.. the places we have gone.. idk about you.. but I know I could have been laying dead in a grave.. but God chose to cover me and protect me from those who hate me and those who said they loved me.. even though they didn't...
God is most worthy of ALL our praise... we praise man all the time.. when will we ever realize that man would not exist without God... we would not even be here.. if it were not for His greatness.. His love.. His grace.. His mercy...
thank you Father... I do love you so...
Monday, November 21, 2011
1 Chronicles 16: 7-18
7 On that day David gave to Asaph and his fellow Levites this song of thanksgiving to the Lord:
8 Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. 9 Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. 10 Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. 11 Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 12 Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, 13 you children of his servant Israel, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.
14 He is the Lord our God. His justice is seen throughout the land. 15 Remember his covenant forever— the commitment he made to a thousand generations. 16 This is the covenant he made with Abraham and the oath he swore to Isaac. 17 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant: 18 “I will give you the land of Canaan as your special possession.”
I am thinking about being thankful.. and how we oftentimes tend to look at what we don't have.. or what God has not done instead of all that He has done.. and I think about David.. and his life.. and David really had some hard times.. yet he continuallly led the people of Israel in praising and thanking God despite the circumstances...
there has to come a time in our own heart when we realize that things may not be as we want them to be.. but I choose to be happy right now.. today.. in this circumstance... I am thankful.. I am blessed.. I am loved by God Almighty... and He has given me promises.. and He has given me a never ending covenant.. and I am so thankful... just that He looks my way... the God of the universe notices me... and that is enough...
8 Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. 9 Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. 10 Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. 11 Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 12 Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, 13 you children of his servant Israel, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.
14 He is the Lord our God. His justice is seen throughout the land. 15 Remember his covenant forever— the commitment he made to a thousand generations. 16 This is the covenant he made with Abraham and the oath he swore to Isaac. 17 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant: 18 “I will give you the land of Canaan as your special possession.”
I am thinking about being thankful.. and how we oftentimes tend to look at what we don't have.. or what God has not done instead of all that He has done.. and I think about David.. and his life.. and David really had some hard times.. yet he continuallly led the people of Israel in praising and thanking God despite the circumstances...
there has to come a time in our own heart when we realize that things may not be as we want them to be.. but I choose to be happy right now.. today.. in this circumstance... I am thankful.. I am blessed.. I am loved by God Almighty... and He has given me promises.. and He has given me a never ending covenant.. and I am so thankful... just that He looks my way... the God of the universe notices me... and that is enough...
Friday, November 18, 2011
Psalms 69: 30-39
30 Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
31 For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle, more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
33 For the Lord hears the cries of the needy; he does not despise his imprisoned people.
34 Praise him, O heaven and earth, the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem and rebuild the towns of Judah. His people will live there and settle in their own land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land, and those who love him will live there in safety.
I have made a decision this morning that all day long I will speak nothing negative (to the best of my ability..) and I will be thankful all day long!! because even if I feel I have reason to be feeling some type of way... someone else has it worse than me...
it was 36degrees here this morning and I woke up thinking how thankful I am to have heat in my house and have a roof over my head.. I am so thankful that God has not allowed me to become homeless or go without work.. I am able to get up on God's grace every single time I fall... God is good ALL THE TIME!!
31 For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle, more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
33 For the Lord hears the cries of the needy; he does not despise his imprisoned people.
34 Praise him, O heaven and earth, the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem and rebuild the towns of Judah. His people will live there and settle in their own land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land, and those who love him will live there in safety.
I have made a decision this morning that all day long I will speak nothing negative (to the best of my ability..) and I will be thankful all day long!! because even if I feel I have reason to be feeling some type of way... someone else has it worse than me...
it was 36degrees here this morning and I woke up thinking how thankful I am to have heat in my house and have a roof over my head.. I am so thankful that God has not allowed me to become homeless or go without work.. I am able to get up on God's grace every single time I fall... God is good ALL THE TIME!!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I am just talking today... and I would say that one of my greatest issues.. one of the things that is truly wrong with me that I need righted is that I do not do well in the dark...
1 Kings 8: 12 Then Solomon prayed, “O Lord, you have said that you would live in a thick cloud of darkness.
the bible tells us that God lives in the darkness.. so we are not alone in it.. I guess because I have always seen ahead that I get distraught when something is not clearly shown... or the path is not lit..
the darkest days I have ever lived in my life were when my kids were very small.. there was no money because their father had a drug and alcohol problem.. some days I did not eat.. but made sure that they did... even if it was just oodles of noodles... all I can remember from that time are rainy and cold days.. I cannot seem to pull up in my mind's eye any sunny days...
but even in those darkest times.. God was with me.. I felt Him.. I knew He was there... I knew He would pull me out.. I didn't know how... but I knew He would...
in this particular time in my life.. everything is dark... not necessarily in the weather.. but in my mind and spirit... I cannot see my hand in front of my face.. I remember what God said when the sun was shining brightly.. but I cannot see it like I can normally see things.. I cannot feel God constantly like I did in the past... now He 'feels' as if He comes and goes...
I trust God... I know that He will pull me out of the darkness and into the light when He is ready... I know this is just another learning experience... but I will admit.. this is one of the darkest times my spirit has ever known...
though He slay me.. yet will I trust Him...
1 Kings 8: 12 Then Solomon prayed, “O Lord, you have said that you would live in a thick cloud of darkness.
the bible tells us that God lives in the darkness.. so we are not alone in it.. I guess because I have always seen ahead that I get distraught when something is not clearly shown... or the path is not lit..
the darkest days I have ever lived in my life were when my kids were very small.. there was no money because their father had a drug and alcohol problem.. some days I did not eat.. but made sure that they did... even if it was just oodles of noodles... all I can remember from that time are rainy and cold days.. I cannot seem to pull up in my mind's eye any sunny days...
but even in those darkest times.. God was with me.. I felt Him.. I knew He was there... I knew He would pull me out.. I didn't know how... but I knew He would...
in this particular time in my life.. everything is dark... not necessarily in the weather.. but in my mind and spirit... I cannot see my hand in front of my face.. I remember what God said when the sun was shining brightly.. but I cannot see it like I can normally see things.. I cannot feel God constantly like I did in the past... now He 'feels' as if He comes and goes...
I trust God... I know that He will pull me out of the darkness and into the light when He is ready... I know this is just another learning experience... but I will admit.. this is one of the darkest times my spirit has ever known...
though He slay me.. yet will I trust Him...
Friday, November 11, 2011
Philippians 2: 1-2
Philippians 2: 1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
isn't it amazing the things that bring division to us... I think that other than lies... division is one of the enemies biggest tools.. sometimes using lies to bring division... we get so caught up in being right or having our own way.. that we miss the goal.. we miss the outcome.. we miss out on what was really important...
Lord please bring unity in our hearts.. help us to learn to lay down our emotions and trust that You will work out all the details... help us to live in unity with everyone...
isn't it amazing the things that bring division to us... I think that other than lies... division is one of the enemies biggest tools.. sometimes using lies to bring division... we get so caught up in being right or having our own way.. that we miss the goal.. we miss the outcome.. we miss out on what was really important...
Lord please bring unity in our hearts.. help us to learn to lay down our emotions and trust that You will work out all the details... help us to live in unity with everyone...
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Psalms 124: 7
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
our soul is escaped.. we think of the soul.. it is who we really are.. the one way down inside.. the one that sometimes we don't allow anyone to see.. the one who is weak sometimes... the one who is hurt sometimes... the soul is trapped inside this physical body... and just like the physical body can stop us from moving forward.. sometimes our mind can trap us too... we get trapped inside what we think we are or are not... wouldn't it be the greatest thing to see ourselves.. just once.. just a glimpse.. as God sees us.. to see why He decided we are worth something... to see why He loves us when we know who we really are... He loves us AS we REALLY are...
my 'other woman' was sueann... she is truthfully the real me... (just listen to me for a minute...) the person that I allow everyone to see is this sue.. who has lately become too locked into what she feels is required of me by God.. I was getting trapped in the laws.. I had lost who I was as an individual...
there is a reason we are who we are.. it is our true personality that God will use.. not the fake one that we think He will like.. not the one that fits in at the church or at the job... or wherever we are trying to fit in at... it is the half crazy.. totally messed up one.. that is the one God chooses...
in my own case... while sueann was hardhearted.. and she was rebellious... she was also silly and fun... and touchable... this person I have become... may have all the right actions down... and she may do everything we think we are supposed to.. but she is not real.. she is not touchable.. she is self righteous.. judgemental.. and condemning of others.. thinking that she alone is righteous... willing to point out everyone else's faults.. and not in love either... just in 'the voice of truth'...
while the truth does need to be said sometimes.. it should always be said with the gift of love attached.. with the acceptance in spite of...
so my newest challenge is going to be the death of the church woman.. and the birth of my soul.. without the hard heartedness.. and rebellion.. instead of trying to protect myself I will allow God to be my protector.. and if I get hurt.. then I also know that He will heal me...
this snare is broken... and my soul is going to escape.. to be all that God has called me to be in my own personality...
our soul is escaped.. we think of the soul.. it is who we really are.. the one way down inside.. the one that sometimes we don't allow anyone to see.. the one who is weak sometimes... the one who is hurt sometimes... the soul is trapped inside this physical body... and just like the physical body can stop us from moving forward.. sometimes our mind can trap us too... we get trapped inside what we think we are or are not... wouldn't it be the greatest thing to see ourselves.. just once.. just a glimpse.. as God sees us.. to see why He decided we are worth something... to see why He loves us when we know who we really are... He loves us AS we REALLY are...
my 'other woman' was sueann... she is truthfully the real me... (just listen to me for a minute...) the person that I allow everyone to see is this sue.. who has lately become too locked into what she feels is required of me by God.. I was getting trapped in the laws.. I had lost who I was as an individual...
there is a reason we are who we are.. it is our true personality that God will use.. not the fake one that we think He will like.. not the one that fits in at the church or at the job... or wherever we are trying to fit in at... it is the half crazy.. totally messed up one.. that is the one God chooses...
in my own case... while sueann was hardhearted.. and she was rebellious... she was also silly and fun... and touchable... this person I have become... may have all the right actions down... and she may do everything we think we are supposed to.. but she is not real.. she is not touchable.. she is self righteous.. judgemental.. and condemning of others.. thinking that she alone is righteous... willing to point out everyone else's faults.. and not in love either... just in 'the voice of truth'...
while the truth does need to be said sometimes.. it should always be said with the gift of love attached.. with the acceptance in spite of...
so my newest challenge is going to be the death of the church woman.. and the birth of my soul.. without the hard heartedness.. and rebellion.. instead of trying to protect myself I will allow God to be my protector.. and if I get hurt.. then I also know that He will heal me...
this snare is broken... and my soul is going to escape.. to be all that God has called me to be in my own personality...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Deuteronomy 7: 6-15
6 For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure.
for me.. the idea that God considers me a special treasure.. His own special treasure... how awesome is that.. we strive so hard to be accepted and love and considered valuable.. and all along.. God has felt we are His own special treasure...
7 “The Lord did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! 8 Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you, and he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. That is why the Lord rescued you with such a strong hand from your slavery and from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh, king of Egypt. 9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. 10 But he does not hesitate to punish and destroy those who reject him. 11 Therefore, you must obey all these commands, decrees, and regulations I am giving you today.
God didn't choose us because we were big and important.. in fact we were the least of all.. it was simply that He loves us and was keeping an oath He swore to our ancestors... I know that my mother prayed for me all my life... imagine that God spoke to people in our families years and years ago.. and promised them to do things for us.. to keep us in covenant with Him.. to prosper us and give us a hope and a future... isn't it amazing to think that people we didn't even know were praying for us.. we should be doing that too.. we should be praying for the generations that are still to come... we should be concerned about their future too..
we need to be obedient and faithful because God is surely still in the consequences business.. even though no one likes to imagine that anymore...
12 “If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors. 13 He will love you and bless you, and he will give you many children. He will give fertility to your land and your animals. When you arrive in the land he swore to give your ancestors, you will have large harvests of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and great herds of cattle, sheep, and goats. 14 You will be blessed above all the nations of the earth. None of your men or women will be childless, and all your livestock will bear young. 15 And the Lord will protect you from all sickness. He will not let you suffer from the terrible diseases you knew in Egypt, but he will inflict them on all your enemies!
there are blessings associated with the obedience to the Lord, just like the consequences for disobedience.. I desire to be on the obedient side... I desire to have open eyes to see when I am doing something that is unpleasing to God.. I desire to do what He asks of me.. I desire to be faithful to Him and He is always faithful to me..
for me.. the idea that God considers me a special treasure.. His own special treasure... how awesome is that.. we strive so hard to be accepted and love and considered valuable.. and all along.. God has felt we are His own special treasure...
7 “The Lord did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! 8 Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you, and he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. That is why the Lord rescued you with such a strong hand from your slavery and from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh, king of Egypt. 9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. 10 But he does not hesitate to punish and destroy those who reject him. 11 Therefore, you must obey all these commands, decrees, and regulations I am giving you today.
God didn't choose us because we were big and important.. in fact we were the least of all.. it was simply that He loves us and was keeping an oath He swore to our ancestors... I know that my mother prayed for me all my life... imagine that God spoke to people in our families years and years ago.. and promised them to do things for us.. to keep us in covenant with Him.. to prosper us and give us a hope and a future... isn't it amazing to think that people we didn't even know were praying for us.. we should be doing that too.. we should be praying for the generations that are still to come... we should be concerned about their future too..
we need to be obedient and faithful because God is surely still in the consequences business.. even though no one likes to imagine that anymore...
12 “If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors. 13 He will love you and bless you, and he will give you many children. He will give fertility to your land and your animals. When you arrive in the land he swore to give your ancestors, you will have large harvests of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and great herds of cattle, sheep, and goats. 14 You will be blessed above all the nations of the earth. None of your men or women will be childless, and all your livestock will bear young. 15 And the Lord will protect you from all sickness. He will not let you suffer from the terrible diseases you knew in Egypt, but he will inflict them on all your enemies!
there are blessings associated with the obedience to the Lord, just like the consequences for disobedience.. I desire to be on the obedient side... I desire to have open eyes to see when I am doing something that is unpleasing to God.. I desire to do what He asks of me.. I desire to be faithful to Him and He is always faithful to me..
Friday, November 4, 2011
John 14: 23-29
23 Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. 24 Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me. And remember, my words are not my own. What I am telling you is from the Father who sent me. 25 I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. 26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. 28 Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. 29 I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe.
as I read this.. I am thinking of several thoughts... for one thing... look at how much we take the Holy Spirit for granted... can you even remember not having Him? I assure you that I cannot... all of my life I have heard His voice.. felt His leading... imagine living in the times when the only people that spoke to God were the priests... that people didn't really have access to Him the way we do...
even take the example of Mary the mother of Jesus... God didn't come and tell her what was going to happen.. she was sent an angel... who spoke to her... and while that is an awesome and amazing gift to have received... look at us...every day in some way shape or form.. we speak to God and we hear from Him... He doesn't hide Himself from us most times.. we have open access...
the other thought is the idea of the peace of mind and heart... how often do we allow circumstances to invade our peace and our joy... we feel defeated and depressed... we feel upset all the time... for what? really... for what? because things don't go our way? come on now.. how ridiculous is that? we know.. really know that God is going to work everything out.. yet we run in over and over in our minds.. wondering how it could possibly work out.. as if God can't or won't fix it.. and that is just ridiculous... our real issue is the waiting.. not the fearing... we think at the time that it is about things not working out.. but in real life.. we know they will... the issue is the waiting for it to happen... if we can master waiting.. I think we will have accomplished a life changing thing...
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. 28 Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. 29 I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe.
as I read this.. I am thinking of several thoughts... for one thing... look at how much we take the Holy Spirit for granted... can you even remember not having Him? I assure you that I cannot... all of my life I have heard His voice.. felt His leading... imagine living in the times when the only people that spoke to God were the priests... that people didn't really have access to Him the way we do...
even take the example of Mary the mother of Jesus... God didn't come and tell her what was going to happen.. she was sent an angel... who spoke to her... and while that is an awesome and amazing gift to have received... look at us...every day in some way shape or form.. we speak to God and we hear from Him... He doesn't hide Himself from us most times.. we have open access...
the other thought is the idea of the peace of mind and heart... how often do we allow circumstances to invade our peace and our joy... we feel defeated and depressed... we feel upset all the time... for what? really... for what? because things don't go our way? come on now.. how ridiculous is that? we know.. really know that God is going to work everything out.. yet we run in over and over in our minds.. wondering how it could possibly work out.. as if God can't or won't fix it.. and that is just ridiculous... our real issue is the waiting.. not the fearing... we think at the time that it is about things not working out.. but in real life.. we know they will... the issue is the waiting for it to happen... if we can master waiting.. I think we will have accomplished a life changing thing...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Psalms 63
I woke up this morning singing the song.. I got a feeling.. everything's gonna be all right.. be all right.. be all right.. be all right...
Psalms 63
1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land
where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. 3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! 4 I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. 5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. 7 Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.
9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. 10 They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. 11 But the king will rejoice in God. All who trust in him will praise him, while liars will be silenced.
in this psalm.. david said all there is to be said.. in general terms.. he states that God is really all that matters.. I have sat in His presence.. and He is my refuge.. my place of safety no matter what is going on.. I will praise Him ALL THE TIME..
yes.. I still have struggles and trials.. but God is greater than all that I go through.. He will carry me out.. and everything's gonna be all right...
Psalms 63
1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land
where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. 3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! 4 I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. 5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. 7 Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.
9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. 10 They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. 11 But the king will rejoice in God. All who trust in him will praise him, while liars will be silenced.
in this psalm.. david said all there is to be said.. in general terms.. he states that God is really all that matters.. I have sat in His presence.. and He is my refuge.. my place of safety no matter what is going on.. I will praise Him ALL THE TIME..
yes.. I still have struggles and trials.. but God is greater than all that I go through.. He will carry me out.. and everything's gonna be all right...
Saturday, October 29, 2011
this is all thoughts.. no scripture attached because i think the scripture each of us would attach would be different...
we all have something that throughout our lives God has been trying to work on us in... change to a degree... I believe whatever it is.. it is also usually a gift.. so that if used properly.. it will bring glory to God.. and if used improperly.. it will either bring glory to self or bring downfall.. depending on how God decides to use it...
when I was in the first grade I wrote big.. and the teacher punished me until I wrote very teeny tiny small.. surely not her intention.. she just wanted me to write smaller and I.. true to form... took it to the extreme... my outspoken mind has been the thing that God has really been trying to change.. but is it really the mouth... or is the true root of it the rebelliousness... because.. just like the teeny tiny writing... I tend to say everything or nothing... and really God wants me to bring this into submission to Him... and stop being rebellious with it... there is a scripture in samuel that says that rebelliousness is like witchcraft... I have never really understood how it is like witchcraft.. but I know that God absolutely hates rebelliousness... this was His greatest issue with the Israelites.. they would come to Him and submit and then go right back to their own ways... I have this same issue apparently...
I cannot pretend I have the answers.. I am just realizing what the trouble is...
I find that God teaches us much of the same lessons over and over just in more depth... like with this thing about my mouth and speaking only what is necessary or positive or encouraging.. I was fasting one day a week from the mouth over a year ago.. and I realized just how much unnecessary comments we really make... yet here I am again.. being reminded from God that I say alot of things that don't need said and sometimes things that do need said I stay silent about...
I remember as far back as my childhood I was being taught about speaking unnecessary things... yet here I am.. all these years later.. hearing it again... much of the dissention in my life has been caused by things I should not have said...
will I ever get it right?? idk.. but thankfully God has the patience enough to continue teaching me and changing me... by the time He is done I will surely wonder who I really am...
we all have something that throughout our lives God has been trying to work on us in... change to a degree... I believe whatever it is.. it is also usually a gift.. so that if used properly.. it will bring glory to God.. and if used improperly.. it will either bring glory to self or bring downfall.. depending on how God decides to use it...
when I was in the first grade I wrote big.. and the teacher punished me until I wrote very teeny tiny small.. surely not her intention.. she just wanted me to write smaller and I.. true to form... took it to the extreme... my outspoken mind has been the thing that God has really been trying to change.. but is it really the mouth... or is the true root of it the rebelliousness... because.. just like the teeny tiny writing... I tend to say everything or nothing... and really God wants me to bring this into submission to Him... and stop being rebellious with it... there is a scripture in samuel that says that rebelliousness is like witchcraft... I have never really understood how it is like witchcraft.. but I know that God absolutely hates rebelliousness... this was His greatest issue with the Israelites.. they would come to Him and submit and then go right back to their own ways... I have this same issue apparently...
I cannot pretend I have the answers.. I am just realizing what the trouble is...
I find that God teaches us much of the same lessons over and over just in more depth... like with this thing about my mouth and speaking only what is necessary or positive or encouraging.. I was fasting one day a week from the mouth over a year ago.. and I realized just how much unnecessary comments we really make... yet here I am again.. being reminded from God that I say alot of things that don't need said and sometimes things that do need said I stay silent about...
I remember as far back as my childhood I was being taught about speaking unnecessary things... yet here I am.. all these years later.. hearing it again... much of the dissention in my life has been caused by things I should not have said...
will I ever get it right?? idk.. but thankfully God has the patience enough to continue teaching me and changing me... by the time He is done I will surely wonder who I really am...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Exodus 16: 9-20
9 Then Moses said to Aaron, “Announce this to the entire community of Israel: ‘Present yourselves before the Lord, for he has heard your complaining.’” 10 And as Aaron spoke to the whole community of Israel, they looked out toward the wilderness. There they could see the awesome glory of the Lord in the cloud.
present yourself before the Lord.. I am thinking we should do this daily.. I am thinking that instead.. many days we feel that we have too much dirt on us so we don't want to be in His presence.. almost like we have to 'prepare' ourself to go before the Lord.. I am thinking something is wrong in that... we should all be desiring to be in the place where we can see the glory of the Lord.. either in our eyes or in our spirit...
11 Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 “I have heard the Israelites’ complaints. Now tell them, ‘In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’”
"then you will know I am the Lord your God" if you read the old testament.. that is much of the reasoning behind what God did... why is it that we don't KNOW He is the Lord our God??
13 That evening vast numbers of quail flew in and covered the camp. And the next morning the area around the camp was wet with dew. 14 When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. 15 The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. “What is it?” they asked each other. They had no idea what it was.And Moses told them, “It is the food the Lord has given you to eat. 16 These are the Lord’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.”17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.
God gives us just what we need... we keep thinking we need more than enough.. God gives just enough so we are still dependent on Him...
19 Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.” 20 But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.
some of them didn't listen.. LOL!! hard heads just like us.. .
present yourself before the Lord.. I am thinking we should do this daily.. I am thinking that instead.. many days we feel that we have too much dirt on us so we don't want to be in His presence.. almost like we have to 'prepare' ourself to go before the Lord.. I am thinking something is wrong in that... we should all be desiring to be in the place where we can see the glory of the Lord.. either in our eyes or in our spirit...
11 Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 “I have heard the Israelites’ complaints. Now tell them, ‘In the evening you will have meat to eat, and in the morning you will have all the bread you want. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’”
"then you will know I am the Lord your God" if you read the old testament.. that is much of the reasoning behind what God did... why is it that we don't KNOW He is the Lord our God??
13 That evening vast numbers of quail flew in and covered the camp. And the next morning the area around the camp was wet with dew. 14 When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. 15 The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. “What is it?” they asked each other. They had no idea what it was.And Moses told them, “It is the food the Lord has given you to eat. 16 These are the Lord’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.”17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.
God gives us just what we need... we keep thinking we need more than enough.. God gives just enough so we are still dependent on Him...
19 Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.” 20 But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.
some of them didn't listen.. LOL!! hard heads just like us.. .
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
James 4: 1-11
1 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.
imagine that the reason we don't have what we really want is because we don't ask God for it.. or.. if we do.. our motives are wrong.. we only want what will give us pleasure.. instead of seeking the will of God we seek the will of self...
4 You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. 5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us jealously longs for us to be faithful. 6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,
“God opposes the proud but favors the humble.”
we have a choice.. to be of this world or of God.. yet don't we really desire to be a little bit of both? yet that makes us an enemy of God... does it really? that is pretty harsh... the Spirit God has placed within us longs for us to be faithful... what is is that we desire more than the Spirit... and wouldn't that make God feel uncomfortable to be within us....
7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.
humble ourselves before the Lord.. I think sometimes I daily humble myself.. yet somehow.. as the day goes on.. if I am not very careful.. it somehow becomes about me again...
11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you.
I am realizing that it is very difficult to never speak evil about anyone at all.. I mean just random comments.. like someone gives me the willies... what is the purpose of that comment? it does no earthly good and surely no heavenly good... why is it that we cannot make everything we say to be encouraging and uplifting... why is it such a struggle to be a positive force all the time... surely it shouldn't be...
Father continue to change me.. re-create me.. make me more like you.. in Jesus name I ask.. amen.amen.amen.
imagine that the reason we don't have what we really want is because we don't ask God for it.. or.. if we do.. our motives are wrong.. we only want what will give us pleasure.. instead of seeking the will of God we seek the will of self...
4 You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. 5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us jealously longs for us to be faithful. 6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,
“God opposes the proud but favors the humble.”
we have a choice.. to be of this world or of God.. yet don't we really desire to be a little bit of both? yet that makes us an enemy of God... does it really? that is pretty harsh... the Spirit God has placed within us longs for us to be faithful... what is is that we desire more than the Spirit... and wouldn't that make God feel uncomfortable to be within us....
7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.
humble ourselves before the Lord.. I think sometimes I daily humble myself.. yet somehow.. as the day goes on.. if I am not very careful.. it somehow becomes about me again...
11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you.
I am realizing that it is very difficult to never speak evil about anyone at all.. I mean just random comments.. like someone gives me the willies... what is the purpose of that comment? it does no earthly good and surely no heavenly good... why is it that we cannot make everything we say to be encouraging and uplifting... why is it such a struggle to be a positive force all the time... surely it shouldn't be...
Father continue to change me.. re-create me.. make me more like you.. in Jesus name I ask.. amen.amen.amen.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ecc 7: 1-4, 8
1 A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume. And the day you die is better than the day you are born.
the day you die is better than the day you were born... what do you think about that?
2 Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies—so the living should take this to heart.
better to spend your time at funerals than at parties because everyone dies and we need to take this to heart...
I find it amazing that most people spend their life trying to stay young.. look young.. live forever... (myself included.. in the look young part...) but what is that really about? isn't that really vanity? why are we not instead grateful to be given another year... more wisdom.. even the gray hair and the wrinkles that show we have lived our lives and come through it... we have survived everything that was thrown our way....
would you really want to go back to being young and have to re-do it all again?? I am sure I would not... I have learned too many of my lessons in the school of hard knocks.... and while we can look at a young woman or man and say how attractive they are.. how desireable.. what real value does that have? other than instant gratification... can you have a real conversation with them? do they know anything? or are they making all the same stupid mistakes you and I made?...
being young has it's value... that is how the world continues... yet I would be such a better mother now than I was when I had my kids... maybe that is the value of family... so that the ones who know more are able to balance out what we don't know as parents while young.. LOL!
3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.
how many times would we say sorrow is better than laughter?? even though I agree that sadness influences us.. changes us... apparently.. refines us...
4 A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.
a wise person thinks alot about death... I would say these 4 verses really surprised me... truly they were not my intention but they caught my eye... I felt as though I never read them before.. never thought like this before... I think we need to be aware that we could be taken at any time so be ready for death.. but should we really be thinking about death alot??
8 Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.
this was the scripture I really had intended to be looking at... again it is about an end being better than a beginning... and I am SURE that patience is better than pride... anything is better than pride... LOL!! I know because I fight that one all the time! Why would an end be better than a beginning....
the day you die is better than the day you were born... what do you think about that?
2 Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies—so the living should take this to heart.
better to spend your time at funerals than at parties because everyone dies and we need to take this to heart...
I find it amazing that most people spend their life trying to stay young.. look young.. live forever... (myself included.. in the look young part...) but what is that really about? isn't that really vanity? why are we not instead grateful to be given another year... more wisdom.. even the gray hair and the wrinkles that show we have lived our lives and come through it... we have survived everything that was thrown our way....
would you really want to go back to being young and have to re-do it all again?? I am sure I would not... I have learned too many of my lessons in the school of hard knocks.... and while we can look at a young woman or man and say how attractive they are.. how desireable.. what real value does that have? other than instant gratification... can you have a real conversation with them? do they know anything? or are they making all the same stupid mistakes you and I made?...
being young has it's value... that is how the world continues... yet I would be such a better mother now than I was when I had my kids... maybe that is the value of family... so that the ones who know more are able to balance out what we don't know as parents while young.. LOL!
3 Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.
how many times would we say sorrow is better than laughter?? even though I agree that sadness influences us.. changes us... apparently.. refines us...
4 A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.
a wise person thinks alot about death... I would say these 4 verses really surprised me... truly they were not my intention but they caught my eye... I felt as though I never read them before.. never thought like this before... I think we need to be aware that we could be taken at any time so be ready for death.. but should we really be thinking about death alot??
8 Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.
this was the scripture I really had intended to be looking at... again it is about an end being better than a beginning... and I am SURE that patience is better than pride... anything is better than pride... LOL!! I know because I fight that one all the time! Why would an end be better than a beginning....
Thursday, October 13, 2011
unbelief or doubt?
Henry Drummond... a 19th-century Scottish evangelist says, "Christ never failed to distinguish between doubt and unbelief. Doubt is can't believe; unbelief is won't believe. Doubt is honesty; unbelief is obstinacy. Doubt is looking for light; unbelief is being content with darkness."
this really shed some light for me... whew.. so even though I sometimes get doubtful and can't see the way.. God can understand that... but that is different from unbelief... which just refuses to believe what God said...
there is a scripture where Jesus asks a man does he believe? the man says I believe! help my unbelief!!
I think he was really asking Jesus... give me the supernatural power to tenaciously believe whatever You say to me!!.. I am asking Jesus that same thing.. .even on my days of confusion or wondering how in the world will God do this??? let there always be a tenacious side of my Spirit that is led by God alone that won't let me let go... won't let me give up... won't let me walk away... let me always believe with a supernatural belief!
I love you Lord! continue to change me and make me more like you....
this really shed some light for me... whew.. so even though I sometimes get doubtful and can't see the way.. God can understand that... but that is different from unbelief... which just refuses to believe what God said...
there is a scripture where Jesus asks a man does he believe? the man says I believe! help my unbelief!!
I think he was really asking Jesus... give me the supernatural power to tenaciously believe whatever You say to me!!.. I am asking Jesus that same thing.. .even on my days of confusion or wondering how in the world will God do this??? let there always be a tenacious side of my Spirit that is led by God alone that won't let me let go... won't let me give up... won't let me walk away... let me always believe with a supernatural belief!
I love you Lord! continue to change me and make me more like you....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
faith vs fear
1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 2 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. 3 You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.” 4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” 5 Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!”
6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. (Genesis 15)
I read in a devotional that Abram had a major character flaw.. it was fear... I have to admit.. I am guilty of this same flaw... so I sorta felt good to know that Abram had it too...
think about the things he did out of fear or doubt...
he repeatedly lied and said that Sarah was his sister because he feared someone would kill him because of her...
he laid with Hagar and conceived Ishmael when he was supposed to be waiting on a child with Sarah...
amazingly.. God fixed all the things he messed up... like with the saying Sarah was his sister.. none of the other men who took her slept with her so she would not be defiled for the promised child... (wonder why the Hagar thing didn't mean he was defiled?? but obviously it didn't...) Ishmael.. which you would think could cancel out the promised child... didn't.. God allowed him to have Isaac despite the things he had done that were surely not God's perfect plan... apparently they were God's permissive plan.. and surely for other use later on.. as God doesn't waste anything...
and yet.. as doubtful and fearful as he was.. the bible said Abram believed the Lord... he didn't always look like he believed.. yet he apparently did... and God counted him righteous because of his faith...
I find myself fearful or doubtful sometimes.. yet no matter what... I always come back to believing what God said... what else is there?? I would rather live believing a sovereign and mighty God.. than to live believing in nothing.... I pray God will see me as righteous and faithful too...
6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. (Genesis 15)
I read in a devotional that Abram had a major character flaw.. it was fear... I have to admit.. I am guilty of this same flaw... so I sorta felt good to know that Abram had it too...
think about the things he did out of fear or doubt...
he repeatedly lied and said that Sarah was his sister because he feared someone would kill him because of her...
he laid with Hagar and conceived Ishmael when he was supposed to be waiting on a child with Sarah...
amazingly.. God fixed all the things he messed up... like with the saying Sarah was his sister.. none of the other men who took her slept with her so she would not be defiled for the promised child... (wonder why the Hagar thing didn't mean he was defiled?? but obviously it didn't...) Ishmael.. which you would think could cancel out the promised child... didn't.. God allowed him to have Isaac despite the things he had done that were surely not God's perfect plan... apparently they were God's permissive plan.. and surely for other use later on.. as God doesn't waste anything...
and yet.. as doubtful and fearful as he was.. the bible said Abram believed the Lord... he didn't always look like he believed.. yet he apparently did... and God counted him righteous because of his faith...
I find myself fearful or doubtful sometimes.. yet no matter what... I always come back to believing what God said... what else is there?? I would rather live believing a sovereign and mighty God.. than to live believing in nothing.... I pray God will see me as righteous and faithful too...
Saturday, October 8, 2011
John 13: 34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
the same way God loves us is the way we are to love others... sheesh...
I remember a song from when I was a kid that said.. and they'll know we are christians by our love... at the time.. I surely had no realization of what christian love really is supposed to be.. but now.. as I see how deep the love is that God is calling us to.. I get it.. I still think it is asking way too much.. I want to give the excuse that so many people use.. saying I am only human.. I am screwed up too...
I don't think God expects us to get it right all the time.. but I think He expects us to get it closer to right each time...
Lord.. you will have to help me to love as you love.. because this job is way too big for me...
the same way God loves us is the way we are to love others... sheesh...
I remember a song from when I was a kid that said.. and they'll know we are christians by our love... at the time.. I surely had no realization of what christian love really is supposed to be.. but now.. as I see how deep the love is that God is calling us to.. I get it.. I still think it is asking way too much.. I want to give the excuse that so many people use.. saying I am only human.. I am screwed up too...
I don't think God expects us to get it right all the time.. but I think He expects us to get it closer to right each time...
Lord.. you will have to help me to love as you love.. because this job is way too big for me...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
exodus 3: 1 One day Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro,t the priest of Midian. He led the flock far into the wilderness and came to Sinai,t the mountain of God.2 There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a blazing fire from the middle of a bush. Moses stared in amazement. Though the bush was engulfed in flames, it didn’t burn up. 3 “This is amazing,” Moses said to himself. “Why isn’t that bush burning up? I must go see it.” 4 When the LORD saw Moses coming to take a closer look, God called to him from the middle of the bush, “Moses! Moses!” “Here I am!” Moses replied. 5 “Do not come any closer,” the LORD warned. “Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground. 6 I am the God of your fathert—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” When Moses heard this, he covered his face because he was afraid to look at God.
first.. God shows Himself to someone... isn't that just what happens with each of us... we are in a bad place.. we don't know what to do.. who to trust.. who to turn to.. and God shows up and shows us that He alone is God and He is the only one who can rescue us from our situation...
7 Then the LORD told him, “I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress because of their harsh slave drivers. Yes, I am aware of their suffering.8 So I have come down to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and lead them out of Egypt into their own fertile and spacious land. It is a land flowing with milk and honey—the land where the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites now live.9 Look! The cry of the people of Israel has reached me, and I have seen how harshly the Egyptians abuse them.10 Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.”
and we don't want to do it... just like moses had every excuse in the book.. how many excuses have you given God about what He is asking you to do... how long will we protest.. how long will we run from it... run from Him...
11 But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.” 13 But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” 14 God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.t Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you.” 15 God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh,t the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you. This is my eternal name, my name to remember for all generations.16 “Now go and call together all the elders of Israel. Tell them, ‘The LORD, the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—has appeared to me. He told me, “I have been watching closely, and I see how the Egyptians are treating you. 17 I have promised to rescue you from your oppression in Egypt. I will lead you to a land flowing with milk and honey—the land where the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites now live.”’
I believe each of us has a purpose to rescue someone.. whether it be one person or thousands of people... we all have the purpose of being the tool God uses to change a life or a nation... God has good plans for those who follow Him.. but those who don't know any better.. can't do any better... so we are used.. to be a likeness of God to a dying world.. a dying person... not necessarily a physical death.. but a spiritual death... and it is our duty to show who the only Living God really is.. and that He not only saves our souls.. but saves us from a situation.. He saves our minds... saves our bodies...
how long does God have to talk us into walking out our purpose?
first.. God shows Himself to someone... isn't that just what happens with each of us... we are in a bad place.. we don't know what to do.. who to trust.. who to turn to.. and God shows up and shows us that He alone is God and He is the only one who can rescue us from our situation...
7 Then the LORD told him, “I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress because of their harsh slave drivers. Yes, I am aware of their suffering.8 So I have come down to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and lead them out of Egypt into their own fertile and spacious land. It is a land flowing with milk and honey—the land where the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites now live.9 Look! The cry of the people of Israel has reached me, and I have seen how harshly the Egyptians abuse them.10 Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.”
and we don't want to do it... just like moses had every excuse in the book.. how many excuses have you given God about what He is asking you to do... how long will we protest.. how long will we run from it... run from Him...
11 But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.” 13 But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” 14 God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.t Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you.” 15 God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh,t the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you. This is my eternal name, my name to remember for all generations.16 “Now go and call together all the elders of Israel. Tell them, ‘The LORD, the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—has appeared to me. He told me, “I have been watching closely, and I see how the Egyptians are treating you. 17 I have promised to rescue you from your oppression in Egypt. I will lead you to a land flowing with milk and honey—the land where the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites now live.”’
I believe each of us has a purpose to rescue someone.. whether it be one person or thousands of people... we all have the purpose of being the tool God uses to change a life or a nation... God has good plans for those who follow Him.. but those who don't know any better.. can't do any better... so we are used.. to be a likeness of God to a dying world.. a dying person... not necessarily a physical death.. but a spiritual death... and it is our duty to show who the only Living God really is.. and that He not only saves our souls.. but saves us from a situation.. He saves our minds... saves our bodies...
how long does God have to talk us into walking out our purpose?
Monday, October 3, 2011
what is the cost?
Luke 14: 25 A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, 26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. 27 And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30 They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’
31 “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? 32 And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. 33 So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.
34 “Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? 35 Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!”
I have read verses 25-27 for years and not really understood it... today I have a little bit of clarity...
as He said "you must hate your father and mother and family" what He's really saying is that He has to have the #1 seat...
God has really been dealing with me to keep Him as #1 in my life.. and I think... what am I putting before Him? I have seriously told Him that anything that is my will and not His.. I hand it to Him... really, my own will would be so much easier than God's will... my own will doesn't cost me anything... but God's will costs me even myself... I guess that is His point... LOL! I think we put other people and other things before God without even realizing we have done it... and I think the more we mature spiritually.. the more He is telling us that He is first and He will not compete with anything at all... I am glad things don't go smoothly every day.. if they did.. I would be thinking I am the center of the universe again... when there are troubles and I have to cry out to God, then I know that I need Him more than anyone or anything else.. I can do NOTHING without Him...
He also warns us to count the cost... I remember when God gave me this vision and this purpose and He says to me... do you accept this call? and I say yes... then He says... be sure about it... before you answer.. you don't realize the cost... that sorta scared me... I remember when I had to have my kids' dad and God told me that he was not for me.. and I said I want him anyways.. and God tells me that I will have him, but it will come at a much higher cost than I realize... and He was SO RIGHT... so when I finally got away from that.. I tell God never again will I choose a man... never... of course I did choose a few short term men but ran at the slightest sight of commitment because I meant that "never again"... everything we do in life comes at a cost.. whether it be for self or for God... I guess I am realizing that if I have to pay for it either way.. I would rather pay for God's will than my own because I know that God's plan for me are for the good (Jer 29:11)... and my own may not work out that way... well.. really will NOT work out that way!
28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30 They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’
31 “Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? 32 And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. 33 So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.
34 “Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? 35 Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!”
I have read verses 25-27 for years and not really understood it... today I have a little bit of clarity...
as He said "you must hate your father and mother and family" what He's really saying is that He has to have the #1 seat...
God has really been dealing with me to keep Him as #1 in my life.. and I think... what am I putting before Him? I have seriously told Him that anything that is my will and not His.. I hand it to Him... really, my own will would be so much easier than God's will... my own will doesn't cost me anything... but God's will costs me even myself... I guess that is His point... LOL! I think we put other people and other things before God without even realizing we have done it... and I think the more we mature spiritually.. the more He is telling us that He is first and He will not compete with anything at all... I am glad things don't go smoothly every day.. if they did.. I would be thinking I am the center of the universe again... when there are troubles and I have to cry out to God, then I know that I need Him more than anyone or anything else.. I can do NOTHING without Him...
He also warns us to count the cost... I remember when God gave me this vision and this purpose and He says to me... do you accept this call? and I say yes... then He says... be sure about it... before you answer.. you don't realize the cost... that sorta scared me... I remember when I had to have my kids' dad and God told me that he was not for me.. and I said I want him anyways.. and God tells me that I will have him, but it will come at a much higher cost than I realize... and He was SO RIGHT... so when I finally got away from that.. I tell God never again will I choose a man... never... of course I did choose a few short term men but ran at the slightest sight of commitment because I meant that "never again"... everything we do in life comes at a cost.. whether it be for self or for God... I guess I am realizing that if I have to pay for it either way.. I would rather pay for God's will than my own because I know that God's plan for me are for the good (Jer 29:11)... and my own may not work out that way... well.. really will NOT work out that way!
Friday, September 30, 2011
peace
leviticus 26:6 “‘I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove wild beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country.
I can remember a time when I had no peace... I couldn't sleep... I couldn't think straight because there was so much turmoil in my life and moreso in my spirit.... I vividly remember that when I left my marriage the main thought in my head was... there is nothing in life worth more than peace of mind... yet at that time I really still didn't have much... I still was jumping at every noise.. I still was hiding my purse every night.. I still was worried all the time about what might come...
one of the most valuable lessons I think I learned when my life was in complete upheaval was the ability to laugh at all situations.. bear and deonna and me could find humor in ANYTHING... it didn't matter what it was.. we were laughing about it... deonna busted a man in the head with a coffee cup.. causing him to need like 30some stitches in his head... she left him at the hospital with a towel wrapped around his head so she didn't get charged with it... big greg chases jay around town with a huge board with nails coming out of it.. I am crying and asking bumpy to save him... none of those stories funny... yet we laughed and laughed and laughed... I think laughter healed us from much of our tragedy... I was going to a psychiatrist after jay died.. she asks to see deonna.. deonna goes in there and tells all these intimate details of stuff she lived through... I am looking at her like she lost her whole mind... what would possess her to tell all her business to a stranger like that?? she tells me that I'm wasting my time if I go and don't tell what's really going on... we laughed about that... the psychiatrist tells me before I quit going to her that I tell a story of something that happened to me as though it happened to a stranger... and she didn't seem to feel that was good.. she felt I live my life in 3rd person... (thus the naming of sueann.. my alter ego...)
but scripture tells us that if we turn from our sin.. repent and are forgiven.. then God will grant peace in our land.. that no one will make us afraid... that is completely the truth... I have peace now like never before in my life... I don't fear anyone but God pretty much...
peace is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive... thank you Lord.. for peace in my land.. and no one making me afraid.. He has removed all the wild beasts and the sword is not in my country... I am thankful... I am at rest...
I can remember a time when I had no peace... I couldn't sleep... I couldn't think straight because there was so much turmoil in my life and moreso in my spirit.... I vividly remember that when I left my marriage the main thought in my head was... there is nothing in life worth more than peace of mind... yet at that time I really still didn't have much... I still was jumping at every noise.. I still was hiding my purse every night.. I still was worried all the time about what might come...
one of the most valuable lessons I think I learned when my life was in complete upheaval was the ability to laugh at all situations.. bear and deonna and me could find humor in ANYTHING... it didn't matter what it was.. we were laughing about it... deonna busted a man in the head with a coffee cup.. causing him to need like 30some stitches in his head... she left him at the hospital with a towel wrapped around his head so she didn't get charged with it... big greg chases jay around town with a huge board with nails coming out of it.. I am crying and asking bumpy to save him... none of those stories funny... yet we laughed and laughed and laughed... I think laughter healed us from much of our tragedy... I was going to a psychiatrist after jay died.. she asks to see deonna.. deonna goes in there and tells all these intimate details of stuff she lived through... I am looking at her like she lost her whole mind... what would possess her to tell all her business to a stranger like that?? she tells me that I'm wasting my time if I go and don't tell what's really going on... we laughed about that... the psychiatrist tells me before I quit going to her that I tell a story of something that happened to me as though it happened to a stranger... and she didn't seem to feel that was good.. she felt I live my life in 3rd person... (thus the naming of sueann.. my alter ego...)
but scripture tells us that if we turn from our sin.. repent and are forgiven.. then God will grant peace in our land.. that no one will make us afraid... that is completely the truth... I have peace now like never before in my life... I don't fear anyone but God pretty much...
peace is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive... thank you Lord.. for peace in my land.. and no one making me afraid.. He has removed all the wild beasts and the sword is not in my country... I am thankful... I am at rest...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Hebrews 10: 26 Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. 27 There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies. 28 For anyone who refused to obey the law of Moses was put to death without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 Just think how much worse the punishment will be for those who have trampled on the Son of God, and have treated the blood of the covenant, which made us holy, as if it were common and unholy, and have insulted and disdained the Holy Spirit who brings God’s mercy to us. 30 For we know the one who said,“I will take revenge. I will pay them back.” He also said, “The Lord will judge his own people.” 31 It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
32 Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. 33 Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. 34 You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.
35 So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! 36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
we can't think we can live any type of way and still be all right with God... I understand that we all fall short.. daily even.. I do too.. but the difference is.. where is our mind? are we thinking about the next thing we will do that isn't living up to God's way? or are we striving to stay away from it.. I fall too.. but it isn't premediated.. I fall because I am weak sometimes.. sometimes my humanness gets the best of me.. and I have to repent and strive all over again to be holy and righteous... this scripture is for the way I used to be... I used to think I could talk any way.. treat people any way... do anything.. I thought as long as I read my bible and prayed that my actions didn't matter.. and that was wrong.. I was trapped and enslaved by sin... now I can do my best to do right.. .and sometimes I succeed.. sometimes I don't.. but I am constantly striving toward the high calling.. striving toward Christ...
I am working toward endurance.. working to be more Christ like by the day... I pray you are too...
32 Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. 33 Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. 34 You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.
35 So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! 36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
we can't think we can live any type of way and still be all right with God... I understand that we all fall short.. daily even.. I do too.. but the difference is.. where is our mind? are we thinking about the next thing we will do that isn't living up to God's way? or are we striving to stay away from it.. I fall too.. but it isn't premediated.. I fall because I am weak sometimes.. sometimes my humanness gets the best of me.. and I have to repent and strive all over again to be holy and righteous... this scripture is for the way I used to be... I used to think I could talk any way.. treat people any way... do anything.. I thought as long as I read my bible and prayed that my actions didn't matter.. and that was wrong.. I was trapped and enslaved by sin... now I can do my best to do right.. .and sometimes I succeed.. sometimes I don't.. but I am constantly striving toward the high calling.. striving toward Christ...
I am working toward endurance.. working to be more Christ like by the day... I pray you are too...
Saturday, September 24, 2011
what shall I fear?
Joshua 4: 23 For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. 24 He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever.”
Job 4: 13 It came to me in a disturbing vision at night, when people are in a deep sleep. 14 Fear gripped me, and my bones trembled. 15 A spirit swept past my face, and my hair stood on end.
Psalms 118: 6 The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? 7 Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me. I will look in triumph at those who hate me.
I was thinking about fear this week... I was thinking about me.. and questioning what really makes me afraid? I am not an exceptionally fearful person... I see things that most people don't.. so I am not really a fearful person... in this life I have learned that no matter what the situation is.. no matter how it ends.. God is going to take care of me.. if I have no money and no house.. somehow He will provide a way.. I have seen this happen in my life repeatedly... I trust this... if someone is against me.. He will move them somehow someway.. I have seen this repeatedly.. I trust this too... so what do I fear?
well.. I do have a healthy fear of God.. some would call it reverence.. I am telling you it is fear... I know for sure and for certain that if He got mad enough.. He has the ability to smite me... He is still the same God of the old testament.. I know from the bible that this is not His desire.. but if I continue to disobey Him.. well.. He certainly can do whatever He wants... so I fear going against Him...
I have terrible fear of being hurt by a man.. which is in actuality silly... I have been hurt physically by a man... I have been hurt emotionally too.. but I have never been destroyed by this type of hurt.. always.. God gives me a resilient heart.. and I get over it... sometimes it takes longer than other times... depending on the expectation involved...
I don't think we are born with fear... I think it is something learned... I am not sure that everyone learns it... my son never has learned it.. and surely he should have by now... even as a baby will crawl right off the end of a bed.. they have no fear.. you can thrown them in the air.. they have no fear of falling.. but as they get older.. they get afraid... so I am thinking fear is something learned... you get burned.. you stay away from the fire type of thing...
but I am not sure this was God's plan... I am thinking.. the only thing we are supposed to fear is God.. I think if we are obedient to God.. following in His path... (as best we know..) then we have nothing to fear.. God has told us that He will protect us.. what can man do to us if we are in God's will? if we are obedient to Him? now that is not to say that nothing hurtful will ever happen to us.. even in God's plan He will allow trials and tribulations to come.. this is what keeps us focused on Him I feel.. learning and growing in Him.. but we can know that whatever it is.. He has brought us to it.. because we are in His will.. and He will also bring us out of it victoriously...
this is going to be my new motto... I am determined...
Job 4: 13 It came to me in a disturbing vision at night, when people are in a deep sleep. 14 Fear gripped me, and my bones trembled. 15 A spirit swept past my face, and my hair stood on end.
Psalms 118: 6 The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? 7 Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me. I will look in triumph at those who hate me.
I was thinking about fear this week... I was thinking about me.. and questioning what really makes me afraid? I am not an exceptionally fearful person... I see things that most people don't.. so I am not really a fearful person... in this life I have learned that no matter what the situation is.. no matter how it ends.. God is going to take care of me.. if I have no money and no house.. somehow He will provide a way.. I have seen this happen in my life repeatedly... I trust this... if someone is against me.. He will move them somehow someway.. I have seen this repeatedly.. I trust this too... so what do I fear?
well.. I do have a healthy fear of God.. some would call it reverence.. I am telling you it is fear... I know for sure and for certain that if He got mad enough.. He has the ability to smite me... He is still the same God of the old testament.. I know from the bible that this is not His desire.. but if I continue to disobey Him.. well.. He certainly can do whatever He wants... so I fear going against Him...
I have terrible fear of being hurt by a man.. which is in actuality silly... I have been hurt physically by a man... I have been hurt emotionally too.. but I have never been destroyed by this type of hurt.. always.. God gives me a resilient heart.. and I get over it... sometimes it takes longer than other times... depending on the expectation involved...
I don't think we are born with fear... I think it is something learned... I am not sure that everyone learns it... my son never has learned it.. and surely he should have by now... even as a baby will crawl right off the end of a bed.. they have no fear.. you can thrown them in the air.. they have no fear of falling.. but as they get older.. they get afraid... so I am thinking fear is something learned... you get burned.. you stay away from the fire type of thing...
but I am not sure this was God's plan... I am thinking.. the only thing we are supposed to fear is God.. I think if we are obedient to God.. following in His path... (as best we know..) then we have nothing to fear.. God has told us that He will protect us.. what can man do to us if we are in God's will? if we are obedient to Him? now that is not to say that nothing hurtful will ever happen to us.. even in God's plan He will allow trials and tribulations to come.. this is what keeps us focused on Him I feel.. learning and growing in Him.. but we can know that whatever it is.. He has brought us to it.. because we are in His will.. and He will also bring us out of it victoriously...
this is going to be my new motto... I am determined...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Psalms 44: 9-26
9 But now you have tossed us aside in dishonor. You no longer lead our armies to battle. 10 You make us retreat from our enemies and allow those who hate us to plunder our land. 11 You have butchered us like sheep and scattered us among the nations. 12 You sold your precious people for a pittance, making nothing on the sale. 13 You let our neighbors mock us. We are an object of scorn and derision to those round us. 14 You have made us the butt of their jokes; they shake their heads at us in scorn. 15 We can’t escape the constant humiliation; shame is written across our faces. 16 All we hear are the taunts of our mockers. All we see are our vengeful enemies.
17 All this has happened though we have not forgotten you. We have not violated your covenant. 18 Our hearts have not deserted you. We have not strayed from your path. 19 Yet you have crushed us in the jackal’s desert home. You have covered us with darkness and death. 20 If we had forgotten the name of our God or spread our hands in prayer to foreign gods, 21 God would surely have known it, for he knows the secrets of every heart. 22 But for your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.
23 Wake up, O Lord! Why do you sleep? Get up! Do not reject us forever.
24 Why do you look the other way? Why do you ignore our suffering and oppression? 25 We collapse in the dust, lying face down in the dirt. 26 Rise up! Help us! Ransom us because of your unfailing love.
if we are attacked.. if we are falling apart... if everything is a mess.. and we are not following God.. then biblically it is our own fault.. we have been given this covenant of blessing and curse.. if we do right by God.. we are to be blessed.. if we do wrong.. we are to be cursed.. but what about the times that you don't do wrong.. you stay on the right path.. doing the right thing... and everything still fell apart... I am guessing the is the issue that the psalmist is going through.. and that we all would feel...
why would God do this? what possible reason would He have? and is this going against the covenant that He promised us? well I know that God is a God of His word.. so surely He is not going against His covenant.. but He also never promised that we will never have battle or never have wars... even the greatest of the kings and prophets still had wars and battles... so it doesn't mean that God has left us.. just because things don't look like we want them to.. doesn't mean that God is not still on the throne.. that He doesn't still love us... He surely still does... the issue is I'm thinking.. we learn the most in battle... we surrender the most during a fight.. we give in and finally say... okay Lord.. whatever you want to do is fine with me...
17 All this has happened though we have not forgotten you. We have not violated your covenant. 18 Our hearts have not deserted you. We have not strayed from your path. 19 Yet you have crushed us in the jackal’s desert home. You have covered us with darkness and death. 20 If we had forgotten the name of our God or spread our hands in prayer to foreign gods, 21 God would surely have known it, for he knows the secrets of every heart. 22 But for your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.
23 Wake up, O Lord! Why do you sleep? Get up! Do not reject us forever.
24 Why do you look the other way? Why do you ignore our suffering and oppression? 25 We collapse in the dust, lying face down in the dirt. 26 Rise up! Help us! Ransom us because of your unfailing love.
if we are attacked.. if we are falling apart... if everything is a mess.. and we are not following God.. then biblically it is our own fault.. we have been given this covenant of blessing and curse.. if we do right by God.. we are to be blessed.. if we do wrong.. we are to be cursed.. but what about the times that you don't do wrong.. you stay on the right path.. doing the right thing... and everything still fell apart... I am guessing the is the issue that the psalmist is going through.. and that we all would feel...
why would God do this? what possible reason would He have? and is this going against the covenant that He promised us? well I know that God is a God of His word.. so surely He is not going against His covenant.. but He also never promised that we will never have battle or never have wars... even the greatest of the kings and prophets still had wars and battles... so it doesn't mean that God has left us.. just because things don't look like we want them to.. doesn't mean that God is not still on the throne.. that He doesn't still love us... He surely still does... the issue is I'm thinking.. we learn the most in battle... we surrender the most during a fight.. we give in and finally say... okay Lord.. whatever you want to do is fine with me...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
John 12: 23-29
23 Jesus replied, “Now the time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory. 24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. 25 Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. 26 Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.
27 “Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came! 28 Father, bring glory to your name.”
Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, “I have already brought glory to my name, and I will do so again.” 29 When the crowd heard the voice, some thought it was thunder, while others declared an angel had spoken to him.
apparently.. Jesus sometimes felt just like we do.. and just like he continued on to be the savior of the world.. you and I will continue on and do the will of God in our lives.. even though it seems to be crushing us...
verse 24-25 let us know that for something to live.. something must die... I wouldn't have wanted the thing to die to be me.. yet as I die to self.. that is how Christ is born in me...
verse 27 hits me the most... He didn't want to die on the cross.. He wanted to be able to live... yet He gave up His will so that we all can live... as we have to give up our will for Christ to live again through us...
27 “Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came! 28 Father, bring glory to your name.”
Then a voice spoke from heaven, saying, “I have already brought glory to my name, and I will do so again.” 29 When the crowd heard the voice, some thought it was thunder, while others declared an angel had spoken to him.
apparently.. Jesus sometimes felt just like we do.. and just like he continued on to be the savior of the world.. you and I will continue on and do the will of God in our lives.. even though it seems to be crushing us...
verse 24-25 let us know that for something to live.. something must die... I wouldn't have wanted the thing to die to be me.. yet as I die to self.. that is how Christ is born in me...
verse 27 hits me the most... He didn't want to die on the cross.. He wanted to be able to live... yet He gave up His will so that we all can live... as we have to give up our will for Christ to live again through us...
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Job 40:1-14
1 Then the Lord said to Job,2 “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”
3 Then Job replied to the Lord,4 “I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. 5 I have said too much already. I have nothing more to say.”
I had this revelation for myself yesterday... strange how pride slips up on us.. we aren't even thinking we are becoming full of ourselves.. then we are broken and realize.. I am nothing.. who am I to answer the Lord.. to question His ways.. His will... His plans... who am I? I am no one... I have no rights.. I deserve nothing... yet God gives me air every single day... the purpose of the air He puts in my lungs daily is to bring glory to Him.. yet some how.. some way.. some days... I get focused on what I feel like instead of being thankful to be chosen... I get focused on me being a good person.. and I have changed SO MUCH.. I have done EVERY CRAZY THING He asked me to do... yet.. I am irrelevant... if I were to die tomorrow.. would I have made a positive lasting impression on the generation to come... would I be told.. well done.. good and faithful servant... or would He say that I was too focused on what I wanted to be any good to what He wanted...
that is an ugly realization... yet it is the truth... the bible says that God ALLOWED satan to sift Job like the wind.. God believed Job was strong enought to stand up to the things he was about to go through... am I being sifted... and more importantly.. am I standing strong in my faith.. a shining example despite what I feel...
6 Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:7 “Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.
8 “Will you discredit my justice and condemn me just to prove you are right? 9 Are you as strong as God? Can you thunder with a voice like his? 10 All right, put on your glory and splendor,
your honor and majesty. 11 Give vent to your anger. Let it overflow against the proud.12 Humiliate the proud with a glance; walk on the wicked where they stand. 13 Bury them in the dust. Imprison them in the world of the dead. 14 Then even I would praise you, for your own strength would save you.
consider how awesome and great God really is... can we stand in His presence and be full of self.. full of pride.. I don't think so... I think when we are faced with His greatness... He IS the Great I AM... and I am nothing... I bow in His presence.. thankful that He decided to look at me.. despite who I am... and the things I have done...
3 Then Job replied to the Lord,4 “I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. 5 I have said too much already. I have nothing more to say.”
I had this revelation for myself yesterday... strange how pride slips up on us.. we aren't even thinking we are becoming full of ourselves.. then we are broken and realize.. I am nothing.. who am I to answer the Lord.. to question His ways.. His will... His plans... who am I? I am no one... I have no rights.. I deserve nothing... yet God gives me air every single day... the purpose of the air He puts in my lungs daily is to bring glory to Him.. yet some how.. some way.. some days... I get focused on what I feel like instead of being thankful to be chosen... I get focused on me being a good person.. and I have changed SO MUCH.. I have done EVERY CRAZY THING He asked me to do... yet.. I am irrelevant... if I were to die tomorrow.. would I have made a positive lasting impression on the generation to come... would I be told.. well done.. good and faithful servant... or would He say that I was too focused on what I wanted to be any good to what He wanted...
that is an ugly realization... yet it is the truth... the bible says that God ALLOWED satan to sift Job like the wind.. God believed Job was strong enought to stand up to the things he was about to go through... am I being sifted... and more importantly.. am I standing strong in my faith.. a shining example despite what I feel...
6 Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:7 “Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.
8 “Will you discredit my justice and condemn me just to prove you are right? 9 Are you as strong as God? Can you thunder with a voice like his? 10 All right, put on your glory and splendor,
your honor and majesty. 11 Give vent to your anger. Let it overflow against the proud.12 Humiliate the proud with a glance; walk on the wicked where they stand. 13 Bury them in the dust. Imprison them in the world of the dead. 14 Then even I would praise you, for your own strength would save you.
consider how awesome and great God really is... can we stand in His presence and be full of self.. full of pride.. I don't think so... I think when we are faced with His greatness... He IS the Great I AM... and I am nothing... I bow in His presence.. thankful that He decided to look at me.. despite who I am... and the things I have done...
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