Romans 7: 22I love God’s law with all my heart. 23But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

the longer I live for God completely... the less I live in sin... this doesn't mean that I am not sinning.. it means for me that I am no longer usually intentionally sinning.. it is not a planned choice like it used to be in the past... 

daily my thoughts are to bring glory to God.. to be pleasing to His eyes.. and that is what I am striving for.. yet occassionally things will pop up that I don't respond to right.. I react instead of acting.. I don't wait until the moment has passed and think about what I am going to say in response.. these are my usual sins... 

then you have things we don't like to think of as sin... like putting something else before God.. like not obeying in the small things we don't want to do... not serving God as we should be.. not tithing... staying angry and bitter against someone longer than we should... 

we will never be all that Christ has created us to be.. but daily as we continue to walk closely with Him.. we should be transformed to look more like Him and less like our past.. and for this I am thankful.. 

proverbs 19: 13A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping. 14Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the lord can give an understanding wife.

women don't really understand the power they have in this world.. we tend to use our looks or sex as a means to getting our way... this is really not something that will last... 

when we sit and argue all the time about nothing it causes our mates to just block us out.. now trust me.. I realize this is one of the hardest lessons a woman can ever learn.. first of all because we are usually sure we are right... secondly because it is just annoying when someone doesn't want to hear you just because you are usually right... BUT.. if we can stop arguing.. stop talking at all really... then a man will begin to hear your voice.. maybe even start to want to hear you talk... and then be able to hear what you are saying... 

this scripture says that only God can give an understanding wife.. I believe this is true because most women are talkers just for the sake of hearing ourselves talk.. and we are arguers.. but most men don't want to hear either of these things.. so if we allow God to change us into a woman He desires us to be.. we will be less talkative.. less argumentative.. and far more understanding... because that come from God... 

Lord help me be the woman you desire for me to become.. not the one that life created... amen.

1 samuel 14: 24 Now the men of Israel were pressed to exhaustion that day, because Saul had placed them under an oath, saying, “Let a curse fall on anyone who eats before evening—before I have full revenge on my enemies.” So no one ate anything all day, 25 even though they had all found honeycomb on the ground in the forest. 26 They didn’t dare touch the honey because they all feared the oath they had taken.

27 But Jonathan had not heard his father’s command, and he dipped the end of his stick into a piece of honeycomb and ate the honey. After he had eaten it, he felt refreshed.[f] 28 But one of the men saw him and said, “Your father made the army take a strict oath that anyone who eats food today will be cursed. That is why everyone is weary and faint.”

29 “My father has made trouble for us all!” Jonathan exclaimed. “A command like that only hurts us. See how refreshed I am now that I have eaten this little bit of honey. 30 If the men had been allowed to eat freely from the food they found among our enemies, think how many more Philistines we could have killed!”

42 Then Saul said, “Now cast lots again and choose between me and Jonathan.” And Jonathan was shown to be the guilty one.43 “Tell me what you have done,” Saul demanded of Jonathan. "I tasted a little honey,” Jonathan admitted. “It was only a little bit on the end of my stick. Does that deserve death?” 44 “Yes, Jonathan,” Saul said, “you must die! May God strike me and even kill me if you do not die for this.”

45 But the people broke in and said to Saul, “Jonathan has won this great victory for Israel. Should he die? Far from it! As surely as the Lord lives, not one hair on his head will be touched, for God helped him do a great deed today.” So the people rescued Jonathan, and he was not put to death.

​I have read this several times in my lifetime.. but when I read it recently it caused me to think about our words... we don't really think when we speak many times.. too often we say things that bring curses and we don't even know we have done it.. we might tell someone they are stupid or fat or ugly... we might tell someone we hope they die... 

we speak death and destruction day after day and the enemy has allowed us to view it under the lens of joking or teasing... 

then what happens when someone stops seeing themselves as valuable and beautiful.. all because of words we have said and didn't even mean.... 

how many curses have we spoken unknowingly.. just like saul did... ​

2 kings 15: 3He did what was pleasing in the lord’s sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done. 4But he did not destroy the pagan shrines, and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there. 5The lord struck the king with leprosy, which lasted until the day he died. He lived in isolation in a separate house. The king’s son Jotham was put in charge of the royal palace, and he governed the people of the land.

Uzziah was pleasing to God.. why then would God strike him with leprosy and cause him to be separated.. living in isolation?

I think we really don't know God.. we see God as someone who does all that we want Him to do... plans out our lives in ways to make us happy everyday.. having everything we want... 

well I think we need to read the old testament as much as we read the new testament... we need to see that everything God does is for the good and the furthering of His kingdom.. now what we want or think or desire.. 

God loves you every day.. more than you love yourself even.. but that is not going to make everything easy and happy... not always.. and sometime.. depending on His plan for you specifically.. it might never be that way... but it is still for your good.. to make you the person He created you to be.. to fulfill the plan that He has for your life in His kingdom... 

so how was the leprosy for Uzziah's good? possibly the whole purpose was so that others who read the bible can see that life is not always easy.. we are not always healed.. we are not always prosperous.. we are not always what we want to be.. but we are always exactly what God planned out for us to be.. and because of what our purpose is.. others can look at our lives and see something in their own lives of value too... 

we always live for someone else's benefit.. and God will work out His perfect will and purpose in our lives.. every time..