Proverbs 27: ⁴ Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but jealousy is even more dangerous.

 

during this insecure time in my life I have recognized that I have jealousy... I sometimes think my jealousy is based on selfishness though because I don't want someone else's.. I just don't want anyone to touch anything of mine... LOL!

 

recently I was looking at two people and I could almost see the jealousy on them.. not about me.. probably not about a person in general... but about a position... their desire for position and recognition was so great that I felt I could almost see it or cut it with a knife...

 

my thinking was... how sad to be so insecure in who you are made to be that you want this recognition and title so badly.. to allow it to eat you up...

 

then I was thinking of myself... and I thought... if something.. anything at all... has been given to me by God.. it would also mean that it would be mine until God determined it is no longer mine.. no one could 'take' it from me... and if God had determined something is not mine.. then no amount of fighting on my side would be able to cause me to have it or hold on to it...

 

I found this to be very freeing... I can't keep what is not mine.. and I can't lose what is.. so why worry about others touching/wanting it...

1 Peter 5: 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

give all your worries and cares to God because He cares about you...

that is so much easier said than done...... I find in my own life.. I give my worries or cares to God.. just to snatch them back again... if they were physical items I could touch and feel.. I can almost see myself just rolling them around in my hands.. thinking about them.. knowing that there is nothing I can do to fix them.. yet I can't seem to actually give them to God and leave them there either... 

it's somewhat amazing that we know we are powerless to fix something... yet we seem unable (or is it unwilling) to let it go either..

he roams around like a roaring lion... seeking who he can devour...

idk about you.. but I don't want to be devoured by the enemy.. not by any enemy... I don't really want to be controlled by anything.. I think in order for me to be protected from being devoured or controlled.. the answer would lie in Jesus... I would have to completely give myself over to God... 

in my mind I think I have done that.. but if there is something else taking up my mind space.. then that part of my mind is not given over to God... *sighs*

Father.. change me... from the inside out... I give you reign over my mind... keep reminding me.. when my thoughts begin to wander.. to give whatever it is.. back to You... so that You are Lord Supreme over my life! 

since starting this made to crave bible study... I have had to actually look at my eating habits...  and I can easily admit.. most of the times when I eat I am not hungry... I think it has to do with a few different things.. one of them is the t.v. commercials... just make you imagine you need to eat... another is what I am thinking about... when I am wrestling with things in my mind.. I pick something up to do with my hands... namely food... often not even junk food.. but excess is still excess... it just happens to be better excess than it used to be... 

Ephesians 2: 8-9 ⁸ God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ⁹ Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

 

you know... I think we all say the right words about believing that salvation is a free gift... then we begin to think that we have to be a certain way or do certain things in order to be 'accepted' in God's eyes.. if He accepted us when we were deep in sin.. my guess is that He will surely accept us when we are trying to not be living in sin...

 

so in a sense.. we are all trying to 'earn' something from God...

 

the truth is.......... any service we give to God... any changes we make in actions or lifestyle.. they are not earning us anything other than possibly acceptance from people who don't matter any ways... what we do claiming that it is for God is to be done because we love Him and we want to please Him.. just like any other relationship we have only bigger...

 

think of how we have changed our whole lives around in the past to please a man because we thought we loved him... for most of us.. that man is long gone... none of our actions make someone love us if you ask me.. they either accept us and love us.. or they don't... the same is truth of God... we cannot 'earn' salvation or love either one from Him... we should be living to please Him because we love Him.. not to make Him love us... because He has loved us all along... it is more about us accepting His love than us earning it... 

close your eyes... imagine yourself at the feet of Jesus... reach up.. put your arms around Him... hug Him... accept Him hugging you back... accept His love for you that is unchanging and never ending... allow yourself to be loved... 

Mark 5: 35While he was still speaking to her, messengers arrived from the home of Jairus, the leader of the synagogue. They told him, “Your daughter is dead. There’s no use troubling the Teacher now.” 36But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”

I don't remember Jesus telling him not to be afraid as part of the story.. but it made me think... how many times in our own lives have we had to deal with people who were negative and told us that our situation will never get any better.. that we will always be the same as we were at that point... but something inside of us would whisper and tell us to just have faith... 

in my own life.. I would have long since given up this life lived for God.. I would have gone back to the old ways.. the comfortable ways.. if it had not been for the small voice within whispering to me to just have faith... 

thank you Father for the voice within of your Holy Spirit giving us the belief to just keep going forward in our faith walk... even if it was only enough faith for a day or two... until we received a little more.. slowly making us stronger and more able to stand on Your word... thank you! amen.

1 Chronicles 21: 18Then the angel of the Lord told Gad to instruct David to go up and build an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite. 19So David went up to do what the Lord had commanded him through Gad. 20Araunah, who was busy threshing wheat at the time, turned and saw the angel there. His four sons, who were with him, ran away and hid.21When Araunah saw David approaching, he left his threshing floor and bowed before David with his face to the ground. 22David said to Araunah, “Let me buy this threshing floor from you at its full price. Then I will build an altar to the Lord there, so that he will stop the plague.” 23“Take it, my lord the king, and use it as you wish,” Araunah said to David. “I will give the oxen for the burnt offerings, and the threshing boards for wood to build a fire on the altar, and the wheat for the grain offering. I will give it all to you.” 24But King David replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it for the full price. I will not take what is yours and give it to the Lord. I will not present burnt offerings that have cost me nothing!” 25So David gave Araunah 600 pieces of gold in payment for the threshing floor. 26David built an altar there to the Lord and sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings. And when David prayed, the Lord answered him by sending fire from heaven to burn up the offering on the altar.

God told David where to go to offer the sacrifice... makes you wonder.. if we are to sacrifice something for God... possibly.. He would be telling us whatever it is... rather than the things we choose of our own mind.. I know for myself.. I want to choose a sacrifice I know I can complete.. I don't want to tell God I will do something I am unsure I can do.. while still making sure it is a struggle too... 

David didn't try to give God something that didn't cost him anything.. how often do we try to give God what is easy for us? I am guilty of this sometimes...

God consumed the sacrifice... I wonder if God accepts/consumes our sacrifices.. I would say if we have been obedient to Him that He does.. I guess the evidence of that is in whether or not our fasting time has been fruitful... I pray God will honor the fast that I lift up to Him... sometimes I feel He has.. there are other times that I don't feel I have been so faithful and I don't feel I have done anything more than just starve myself... I read something a few days ago that said "a fast without prayer is just starvation"... 

we are all called to fast regularly.. just like reading the bible.. amazing how we find time or purpose for everything under the sun.. yet God's disciplines are sometimes pushed to the wayside... 

Father help me be more faithful to You than I am to myself... 

Mark 3: 22But the teachers of religious law who had arrived from Jerusalem said, “He’s possessed by Satan, the prince of demons. That’s where he gets the power to cast out demons.” 23Jesus called them over and responded with an illustration.“How can Satan cast out Satan?” he asked. 24“A kingdom divided by civil war will collapse. 25Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. 26And if Satan is divided and fights against himself, how can he stand? He would never survive. 27Let me illustrate this further. Who is powerful enough to enter the house of a strong man like Satan and plunder his goods? Only someone even stronger—someone who could tie him up and then plunder his house. 28“I tell you the truth, all sin and blasphemy can be forgiven, 29but anyone who blasphemes the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven. This is a sin with eternal consequences.”30He told them this because they were saying, “He’s possessed by an evil spirit.”

this may sound silly.. but I have wondered all my life as to what would be considered blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.. of course wondering if I have done it... then today.. as I read this.. I am thinking... I wonder if doubting the gifts of the Spirit is considered blasphemy... someone doubting the healing of someone had come from God.. someone doubting God's power and presence in whatever miracle we have seen.. and my thought is that we see miracles all the time.. but as we are hardened and calloused by this world.. how often.. after the initial recognition of the Spirit at work.. do we decide it was just coincidence... or it was something ordinary.. because when we can't understand extraordinary things.. we tend to try to make them ordinary so that we can comprehend them.. we often cannot comprehend the things of God.. so we try to bring them down to our level... 

someone recently told me that someone I know does not believe in the gifts of the Spirit being in this age.. that they were only in biblical times... and right away I got the feeling that this person they were talking about is a false prophet... (although not really a prophet at all.. but trying to teach wrong things) I would be very afraid to be in a position of power and not be teaching strictly from the bible... that would be a scary thing.. for surely the Lord will deal with these people... I am so thankful for the true prophets in my own life... moreso.. since the recognition that wrong teaching is out there even now... it makes the truth teachers even more important... 

thank you Father for the teachers of the truth.. 

and I pray you will open the eyes of the false teachers before they are condemned forever... amen.

Psalms 84: 2 I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.

lately I have been battling my 'want to' with God...

sometimes the journey is just too long and tiring.. sometimes I would just rather be doing something other than the 'right thing'... while my outward actions may be right... I may not be physically doing anything sinful or wrong... many times.. the battle is within..

that is my battle.. I WANT to want to long for God with my whole being... but sometimes the desire just is not there... but I pray.. I cry out to God.. I ask Him to restore my desire for Him... 

and in this meanwhile.. while I am waiting to be completely filled and satisfied by God (because truthfully.. I am not there yet...) I try to fill that place with other things... 

it might be sweets... it might be jewelry... it might be shoes or clothes... 

and in honesty... those things give me a small satisfaction.. for a short while... then I look back.. and I have all this jewelry.. beautiful but somewhat useless.. I have all these shoes.. (and I do actually wear almost all of them..) I ate many many things I should not have.. so I have this belly I despise... and still I have this inner longing... 

there was a time that rather than fill this place with these things.. instead I filled it with non committed sex.. or with alcohol... or even just attention from men.. and in my commitment to God.. I have given these things up.. only to have replaced them with the things that I now do... 

what I really need is a change... a change in my spiritual walk.. so that my desires are based on my love for God.. because truly I do love God.. I couldn't imagine ever going backward in my relationship... but I need to move forward.. to stop filling that place within me with something other than Him...

Father I pray that you will reach down and touch.. not only me.. but anyone else that is wanting to desire you more than other things.. reach down and fill us with your Spirit.. fill us with desire to spend time with You.. fill us with the desire to put You above all other things.. fill us with Your Love.. fill us with the capacity to accept You and accept the Love You bring.. give us the insight to know that complete satisfaction and peace can only come from You... heal us from addictive behaviors.. change us completely.. from this day forward.. so that our lives can be used to bring glory to Your Name..  in Jesus name I ask these things.. 

mark 3: 13Afterward Jesus went up on a mountain and called out the ones he wanted to go with him. And they came to him.14Then he appointed twelve of them and called them his apostles. They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach, 15giving them authority to cast out demons.

this suggests to me that not everyone is given the authority to do all that Jesus did or even all that the disciples did... He had many other followers that did not have the authority and power to do these things.. it seems to me that only those who Jesus gives the authority will be able to do it... so just because you are a man or woman of God.. you will be able to do things in Jesus name.. according to your gifting.. but not everyone can do these things... so it will depend on the authority God has given the specific person... that is my thoughts..

John 15: 12 ¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.

 

I think pretty much everyone who knows God at all would easily say that His love has been the best love we have ever experienced... although bad things still happen to us sometimes or to our loved ones.. that doesn't change the love and protection and provision we have had from God all of our lives.. He has loved us when we are unloveable... He loved us when no one else has.. His love has been constant and unconditional despite things we do or say or the way we act...

 

would we say that we love others as God loves us? I doubt if we could... yes.. maybe one or two people.. surely not everyone.. surely not all the time.. our love and actions of love are too dependent on our feelings... yet Jesus says the only commandment He gives us is to love one another the same way that God loves us.. because if we do that... we would be fulfilling all the other commandments..

Matthew 18: 7 “What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. 8 So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet.9 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. 10 “Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father.

so if we think about it.. surely we have caused someone to sin at some point... I am sure that I have... but did I plot it out recognizing that I was causing someone to sin? no! I would have stopped if I had realized what I was actually doing!

I've told terra that I am going without the tv these 21 days of fasting.. and it is amazing how quickly your mind clears without the influence of tv and radio... the books I am reading are books that would be God friendly.. and the music I am listening to is christian.. so other than actual conversations with people I come in contact with, I am not subjecting myself to negative forces.. and surprisingly.. the people I see daily are not negative for the most part.. 

so that would mean that the influences I give myself are detrimental to my spiritual health... and yet... I will probably go back to it... now while that doesn't make sense to me... I also know that I can't completely shield myself from the world.. but clearly.. I need to take a break from it sometimes and have a vacation with Jesus...

Matthew 4: Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. 2 For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry.3 During that time the devil came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.”

two of the three things the enemy tempted Jesus with.. he started out by saying "if you are the son of God".. Jesus never even responded to that... He had no doubt of who He was in God... 

now think about that... Jesus didn't hear God's physical voice.. He had an earthly father and mother and brothers and sisters... yet He knew in His heart and spirit that He was the messiah.. that this was His purpose.. His calling.. His position... 

how many times have we heard God tell us who we are in Him, yet we doubt and are unsure... we don't have that faith and belief that Jesus had to just know who we are... how tragic that we cannot just hear and fully believe... 

Matthew 18: 2 Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. 3 Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. 4 So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

5 “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. 6 But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.

teaching kids is an amazing thing... they have no doubts of what you tell them about Jesus.. they can see Him.. talk to Him... they love Him in ways that we might not... because they are 'clear' or pure in mind... 

this also states that children are humble... I thought about that.. and that is really true.. until they get to be older, they think everyone is the same.. color doesn't matter.. accents don't matter.. they don't see one as greater than another.. until their parents and other kids.. older kids.. tell them that isn't true... 

so if we took a child with humble parents.. parents without racism or anger issues... and we had them live alone.. just their family.. or possibly another family like that too... then they would not be likely to have the issues most of us have... 

the only thing we have in our defense to shield either ourselves or our children from the weapons of the enemy.. like anger and pride and bitterness.. is prayer... and asking God to change us to be more like Him.. and to protect our kids from these weapons of spiritual warfare... 

1 Timothy 5: ²⁴ Remember, the sins of some people are obvious, leading them to certain judgment. But there are others whose sins will not be revealed until later. ²⁵ In the same way, the good deeds of some people are obvious. And the good deeds done in secret will someday come to light.

 

I was thinking about this... thinking about being concerned with how others view us and how useless it is... and here we see that many times people can't really see us any more clearly than we can see them.. yet we imagine we can...

 

I guess sometimes our sins won't be revealed until later and sometimes our good deeds won't either... I think this is all the more reason to not be trying to live our lives as a show for others... it is possible that no matter how hard we try to show our heart is good... there are people who may not see it... so the best we can do is to daily wake up and give our day to God.. and live it for Him alone...

Obadiah 1: 11 When they were invaded, you stood aloof, refusing to help them. Foreign invaders carried off their wealth and cast lots to divide up Jerusalem, but you acted like one of Israel’s enemies. 12 “You should not have gloated when they exiled your relatives to distant lands. You should not have rejoiced when the people of Judah suffered such misfortune. You should not have spoken arrogantly in that terrible time of trouble. 13  You should not have plundered the land of Israel when they were suffering such calamity. You should not have gloated over their destruction when they were suffering such calamity.15 “The day is near when I, the Lord, will judge all godless nations! As you have done to Israel, so it will be done to you. All your evil deeds will fall back on your own heads.

when someone has done you very wrongly.. it is our human nature to be at least relieved when not so great things happen to them... now I think we all will want to say that we don't do this.. but if we are really honest with ourselves.. these are the times when we get to saying.. "well you reap what you sow"... 

and while those words are true.. we are not to be thankful that our enemies have been destroyed... although we do this... because just like them.. we have done evil/wrong too.. in some way or another.. and trust and believe that just like theirs came back down on their head.. ours will come back down on ours.... 

it takes a very mature person to bleed when your enemy is cut.. to cry with someone who has treated you badly... to feel their sorrow with them... 

Luke 22: ⁷⁰ They all shouted, “So, are you claiming to be the Son of God?” And he replied, “You say that I am.”

 

before I get talking.. please understand that I believe Jesus is the Son of God...

 

but you know.. don't we all call ourselves sons and daughters of God? aren't we all created in His image? aren't we all grafted into His family?

 

so this morning.. when I read that they were so angry that Jesus said He is the Son of God... I found that strange... you would think that instead we would all be claiming it... that we would be trying to portray our likeness of Him daily....

 

too often we try to fit in with the beliefs of those we are around rather than standing out as the sons and daughters of the Living God...

Luke 1: 46 Mary responded,“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 47  How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! 48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. 49 For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. 50 He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him.

I was reading this today.. and I thought... now this is a thankful person... if we really think about it... what was given to her as a promise and purpose was really not a great thing in the eyes of man... we can think it was all day long but she would have had to have been shamed and humiliated for being pregnant before marriage.. the husband to be is ready to put her away because he imagines she has slept with someone else... she actually had the baby Jesus while still engaged... not married... so at this time.. this was really a big deal.. (in truth.. this is still a big deal even though nothing compared to the past... there is still shame attached to having a child without marriage.. yet somehow not so much about pre-marital sex.. go figure..) all through Jesus life his legitimacy was questioned... 

yet despite how people were looking at her.. despite the rejection and humiliation.. she was still able to praise God for choosing her... she clearly had a spirit of gratitude in general.. I am sure that is something God wishes we all had.... 

I began reading Jonah yesterday... and the commentary at the beginning states that it is hard to like Jonah.. I really have never thought that... it went on to say that he felt the assyrians or the people from ninevah were unloveable.. the truth is that the assyrians had long been persecuting israel.. so of course they were not friendly... but when it said that he felt they were not worthy of being loved or worthy of God's grace.. that made me look at it in a different light... like the woman of samaria that Jesus should not have bothered with... if he were to go along with all that his people felt about the samarians at that time.. now I didn't really understand this samarian thing because they too are israelites.. but when the country separated after david's death there was israel which was the northern nation and judah which was the southern nation... they were one nation but divided and they had alot of anger and hostility between them... 

while we see that as far fetched or out dated.. is it really? there is still much racial tension in the united states.. over 100yrs later... (after the civil war and end of slavery) there is racism with the mexicans.. the cubans... the whites.. the blacks.. you name it.. there is racism against it even now... and truly even all these years later.. germans are still carrying the weight of the holocaust... we still feel some type of way about vietnamese because of the viet nam war... 

now bring it down into your own house.. we can say that we are not like this... but we are.. we all have our own prejudices and feelings about people who are not worth anything... (even though we would never use these words..) and this is not really meaning about individuals.. I am talking about general groups of people we are 'racist' about... most of us have experienced this classism or racism in some manner against us too... 

now imagine that God sent you to those people to speak the word about God... this is the story of jonah... and that is why he didn't want to do it... and I can understand it when put in that context.. but even then... would I be willing to be the one that went to preach to them? to tell them of God's love.. or would I feel like it was to be left up to someone else? 

this is our lives.. every day we meet someone we could speak about God's love to... and just about every day.. we keep it to ourselves... thinking it is someone else's job...

2 timothy 4: 9 Timothy, please come as soon as you can. 10 Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry. 12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 13 When you come, be sure to bring the coat I left with Carpus at Troas. Also bring my books, and especially my papers.

14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done. 15 Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said.

16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. 17 But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death. 18 Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.

some days God is all we have standing with us... 

paul starts out by talking about a man named demas who loved the world more than God.. I know people like that... and if I had to depend on them.. there are some things I could depend on them for.. but others I could not... they seem to think I take my relationship with God too seriously... 

he goes on to talk about a man who talked against him.. and then the others that deserted him.. Jesus too was deserted in the last moments of His life.. no one but God stood with Him.. and then even God left Him for a short while... luckily we will never have to deal with God leaving us.. because in His sacrifice.. Jesus covered our sin.. but our sin is why God had to leave Him for a short while... 

friends are great.. family is great... but there are times when you will be completely alone in this life.. and those times.. you can know that God stands with you... even though He is all there is sometimes.. He is always enough... 

Leviticus 7: 37  These are the instructions for the burnt offering, the grain offering, the sin offering, and the guilt offering, as well as the ordination offering and the peace offering. 38 The Lord gave these instructions to Moses on Mount Sinai when he commanded the Israelites to present their offerings to the Lord in the wilderness of Sinai.

I was thinking about all the offerings and sacrifices that the people of Israel gave to God... now realistically.. they didn't do this every day.. usually they only went to the temple once a year.. unless they lived in Jerusalem... and I know that Jesus had paid the price for us.. thankfully.. we don't have to sacrifice animals anymore... 

but do we sacrifice anything for God? surely there are still some things we should be sacrificing to show God how thankful we are for His love and mercy and gift of His Son.... surely we should be sacrificing something to show Him we honestly repent when we sin against Him... 

now our sacrifice may be in the form of a fast... it may be in the form of time given in service.. time given in worshipping Him... maybe even tears of remorse for our wrongs... 

I think as the people of God we almost act as if we are owed God's goodness... as if we owe Him nothing and He is lucky to have us... how sad that we do not reverence Him and give Him all the honor that He is due... 

Isaiah 26: 3You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

isn't that just the total truth!! when my thoughts and mind are consumed by thoughts of God rather than thoughts of the world... or issues.. or people even.. then I am at peace.. I am able to rest because truly I have learned in this life that whatever is going on.. God is going to work it out.. one way or another... even if it were to lead to death.. it would still be Him working it out... 

so you wonder.. what is wrong with me that I allow my thoughts to get consumed by other things and lose even just a piece of that perfect peace.... doesn't make sense... would it be possible that the real thing that takes my peace would come down to self... meaning... whatever or whoever I am thinking about or meditating on... doesn't it really have to do with me wanting things to work out a particular way... so in the end... all of it is me.. wanting my way... me.. thinking about me... when will it ever happen that reality will come that I am not all there is... 

the bible tells us to deny ourselves and follow God... I think we (I) do everything imaginable to not deny myself.... if I were to focus on others... helping someone else.. doing for someone else.. more than my own thoughts.. maybe I would get past this... I have often thought I am over it.. yet here it is.. showing itself yet another way... thankfully.. we always have another day to do differently!

Psalms 90:12  Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.

normally... I get a verse sent to my email every morning.. this verse is USUALLY the same verse that is on biblegateway.com in the mornings... yesterday... this is the verse I got in my email.. but there was a different verse on the website... which made me feel like there is something I need to see... 

I think... as we get older.. we really do start to recognize the fact that we could die any day... for whatever reason.. we realize that our days are not promised... when we are young.. we imagine we will live forever.. but usually around the age of 40 the truth of life being a gift really starts to set in.. for some people it is a younger age.. someone who had someone close to them with a life threatening illness would cause us to recognize that life is precious... or the death of someone close... 

I don't really feel there is anything we can do about the reality that life is an unsure thing.. but I do think that we should live each day as though it could be our last.. I think it is important to have less to regret and more to be thankful about... to focus on the good rather than the bad... to make sure our relationship with God is what it needs to be... because tomorrow is not promised... 

Romans 12:1 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.

I read this in a devotional yesterday and in the message bible it just seems so clear.. this is the scripture that normally reads "I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable." but when said as our daily life.. our eating and walking around ordinary life and give it to God as an offering.. it just seemed easier... idk if you will feel that too or not.. 

the word sacrifice is just a scary word in general I think... but an offering.. that is easier to attain.. LOL! every day before I get out of the bed I pray that I will live this day as an example of God's love... 

now I don't walk that out in all ways every single day.. but truly that is my desire and my prayer... and I believe that daily God helps me to be better..

Deuteronomy 11: 16 “But be careful. Don’t let your heart be deceived so that you turn away from the Lord and serve and worship other gods. 17 If you do, the Lord’s anger will burn against you. He will shut up the sky and hold back the rain, and the ground will fail to produce its harvests. Then you will quickly die in that good land the Lord is giving you.

18 “So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 20 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land theLord swore to give your ancestors.

22 “Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you. Show love to the Lord your God by walking in his ways and holding tightly to him. 23 Then the Lord will drive out all the nations ahead of you, though they are much greater and stronger than you, and you will take over their land. 24 Wherever you set foot, that land will be yours. Your frontiers will stretch from the wilderness in the south to Lebanon in the north, and from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west. 25 No one will be able to stand against you, for the Lord your God will cause the people to fear and dread you, as he promised, wherever you go in the whole land.

26 “Look, today I am giving you the choice between a blessing and a curse! 27 You will be blessed if you obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today. 28 But you will be cursed if you reject the commands of theLord your God and turn away from him and worship gods you have not known before.

I have read this scripture 1,000 times.. I have LIVED this scripture over and over again... I am in such a great place when I am in tune with God and His will... yet somehow.. I fall back.. even if not in actions.. I still fall backwards in spending time with Him.. in reading the bible.. in prayer... I go through the motions with my actions but not with my heart.. God wants to have our hearts more than our actions I believe... 

idk how it is when I see the goodness of God over and over... yet I allow my heart too cool where He is concerned.. it is never intentional... but slowly it happens... 

I think this often happens to us with significant others... or whatever our closest relationships are.. we begin to see people (or God in this case) as part of the scenery... and we take them (Him) for granted... I desire to do better in this area.. yet thankfully.. God stands right here.. waiting on me to notice it and come back wholeheartedly... He is the greatest God ever... the greatest anything ever.... 

thank you Lord for loving me so... help me to love you better and better every day! *hugs*