fasting...

Matthew 6:16"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

okay... I learned something about fasting today... from Rev. Charles Stanley...

I thought... when we fast.. as the scripture says... that it is to be a private thing, between you and God... but I guess I kinda thought it was a way to get God to see how serious you are about whatever you are fasting about... I know that we fast to get clarity or insight... but come on... surely you too have fasted thinking God would move just a little quicker because he saw how much you are willing to sacrifice for it... maybe I am wrong... maybe y'all are way better saints than me... but that is what I thought sometimes... of course the real reason was to hear from God, but I guess in truth I thought I could manipulate God to move quicker too...

but this is what Charles Stanley says about fasting today... it was eye opening for me...

"Before we go further, it is important to dispel a popular misunderstanding. Fasting doesn’t serve to change God’s mind, speed up His answer, or manipulate His will. Instead, it prepares us to hear from Him by temporarily laying aside something that vies for our attention or devotion—such as food, sleep, or a time of intimacy with a spouse.

Denying ourselves in this way makes us better able to focus on Christ and hear Him clearly. His Spirit often starts by bringing to mind sin that needs to be confessed. In so doing, He sanctifies our thoughts—then He can use this precious time to intensify our desire for Him, reveal His Will, and grant understanding and peace. In essence, fasting binds us to Him in such oneness that we won’t ever be the same again."

how awesome is that? God is using our fasting or sacrifice to sanctify our thoughts... to reveal our sins to us for confession... and then to draw us closer to Him... and it says that fasting will bind us to Him in oneness and we will never be the same again... that was so big for me... I have hated fasting... I felt like it was a horrible way to hear God's voice or move His hand... instead... it is a priviledge and honor... drawing us closer and making us one with Him... wow... I am going to be far different in my fasting from this point forward... I may set aside one day every week to fast and just become one with God...

thank you Father... for desiring to be close to me!!!! I don't deserve that... I don't deserve your goodness... I am so grateful to be loved and be chosen by you... I adore you... truly I do... you are my all in all... thank you for smiling on me...

just as I am...

Isaiah 46:5 And now the Lord speaks—the one who formed me in my mother’s womb to be his servant, who commissioned me to bring Israel back to him. The Lord has honored me, and my God has given me strength. 6 He says, “You will do more than restore the people of Israel to me. I will make you a light to the Gentiles, and you will bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.”

Isaiah 64:8 And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.

Jeremiah 1:4 The Lord gave me this message: 5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

how often do we look at ourselves and wish we were different... how often do we look at others and wish we were more like them... sometimes it is physical attributes... sometimes it is personality...

we wish we were thinner or bigger or prettier or another race... maybe we wish we were quieter or more outspoken... do we really realize that God formed us in our mother's womb... there is a reason that you are exactly who you are... exactly the color you are... exactly the weight you are... exactly the shape that you are...

before the earth was formed... God already had his plan in place for each one of us... and he created/formed us exactly for the purpose he has planned... our entire existance is supposed to bring glory to God... we are to fulfill the purpose in the kingdom of God that we were intended for... that is why we were created...

we tend to look at our life from our own point of view... from what we want and what we think and what we feel and in reality all those things are irrelevant... our value is really in the kingdom of God, not in the kingdom of man... we will never feel fulfilled in the world, only in the kingdom... so while we have to walk in this world.. our focus needs to be on the kingdom...

we need to be content... satisfied with who we are... God is accepting us... just as we are... while he desires for us to be sinfree... he realizes that we are unable to do it... that is why he sent his Son to free us from this sinful nature...

the next time you go to wish that you were something different than what you are... remember that God has created you exactly as you are... on purpose and it is to be used to His glory... and in that we will find fulfillment and purpose for living...

my heart's desires...

Psalms 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

as humans we seem to never be satisfied... we think if only I had this.. if only I had that... but as soon as you have what it is that you desired, then you are desiring something else...

I LOVE new shoes... I have more shoes that anyone I know... it is truly a sin of gluttony... I can't even wear them all because I have so many shoes... when I walk into 9west the sales girl RUNS to me... she knows my size and likes and dislikes by heart... she brings out tons of shoes for me to try... she gives me discounts that no one else gets... I am considered a VIP customer in the store and on line both... but sadly enough... after I wear the shoes a few times... they lose their sparkle and I need new ones to make me feel good again... (thus the reason I have so many...)

I love new clothes... I don't really like to dress like a church lady... I like to dress provocative and sexy... but... if I have to dress like a church lady... I want to be the best dressed one out there... again... the reason why I am always looking for a new outfit...

when the bible tells us that if we take delight in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our heart... it doesn't really mean the desires of our heart... what it really means... is that when God becomes your delight... your heart... your focus... then... your desires change to line up with the will of God... and yes, He will always give you His will for your life...

it is a terrible thing when we tell God that what He wants for us is not what we want... we pay a horrific price for God giving in and giving us our own will over the will of God...

our prayers should not be that God will give us the desires of our heart... our prayer should be that God would align our desires with His will for our lives and that He will give us His will for our lives... that is a prayer that is sure to be in our best interest and it is also sure to be answered... it may not be what we thought we wanted... but it will always be what is best for us and for the body of Christ as a whole...

Thank you Father for aligning my desires with your will... whatever the outcome may be... I trust You... I love You... I want Your will be done, not mine... in the blood bought name of Christ I pray... amen.amen.amen...

unconfessed sin...

psalms 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.

I think as we become more mature in Christ... we let go of many of the sins that we used to do... you know... the obvious sins... and then we feel like we have come so far from who we used to be... that we are good... and we don't worry any more about confessing our sins before God...

for me personally... if I fell back and went out and got drunk... I would come back to God and confess this and ask forgiveness... or whatever the sin might be... drunk is just the most realistic outward sin for me to fall in to... as jack daniels and I have a long standing relationship that I miss badly when upset...

but what about the sins that we cover up... what about the sins that we make excuses for... are we confessing those? seeems to me.. if we are covering them up... or making excuses for them, then we are not acknowledging them and probably not confessing them to God...

recently... I had an issue where I decided something was not sin... mostly because I didn't want it to be... but I felt a change in the atmosphere between me and God... and then I listen on the radio (internet actually...) to my non playing friend John MacArthur... who never ever confuses what sin is and is not... (anything that does not bring glory to God is sin...) and I had to go before God and confess... now this was not something open and out loud... just something in me... in my heart... and although I didn't show it to anyone... it didn't make it any less sinful...

I have decided... that I am going to ask God to point out to me any thing in me that is not of Him... not just to empty me of it... but to show it to me... so that I can acknowledge it and confess it... accept forgiveness and get past it...

I do not want to have sin separating me from God... I do not want to have God not hear my prayer because of the unconfessed sin in me... I need Him too much to allow there to be issues in our relationship... I love Him to much to allow myself to disappoint Him intentionally...

change me God. make me into the person that you have created me to be in all areas of my life. in Jesus name I ask this... amen.amen.amen.

isaiah 1: 26 I will restore your judges as in days of old, your counselors as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City." 27 Zion will be redeemed with justice, her penitent ones with righteousness.

in the old testament days... the men of the bible wanted a king... God didn't want them to have a king... He felt as though they were saying that He was not enough... but He gave them a king to satisfy their begging and they paid a price for it... in the end they realized that things were better with the judges and prophets being the voice of God and not having to pay taxes to a king... in this scripture... God tells us that He will take the kings away and restore the need for the prophets and judges... and I would say that He has done this...

the question is... do we recognize a prophet when we see one? or do we run after what sounds like what we want to hear?

I don't believe that the people felt that God was not enough... I believe that they just wanted something that they could touch and feel guiding them, carrying them. so they opted for a king as they didn't know any better... and the grass is always greener on the other side... till you get there...

I think even today... we want something we can touch and feel... we want God to speak to us in a physical manner... something that is concrete and cannot be denied... but this is not the way of Jehovah... the Great I Am... He gives a spoken word... He confirms it with written word... and every now and then He will give you a little sight of something to keep you hanging on.... but the Living God expects you to just trust His word, His voice, His calling... and EVENTUALLY it will come to pass... our time is not God's time...

Father give me a breath of life to hold on to your spoken word... I want to be in Your will... not mine... in Jesus precious name I pray... amen.amen.amen.

tests...

I have never been so good at tests...

this morning I am reading and I learn that every situation is a test from God... how will we handle it? will we respond with the love of Christ or the words of man? will we at least say next to nothing?

I have been severely tested this last few weeks by people talking about me and treating me bad... but through all of it.. I would say that while I haven't handled it maybe as God would have liked me to... I haven't handled it like I would have in the past either...

so my thought is... obviously I am still a work in progress... and the good news is that I am sure God will give me another chance to get it totally right... and the bad news is that God will give me another chance at getting it totally right...

I'm thinking... that before we react to any given situation... we need to be prayed up... I try to start my day in prayer and ask God to guide my steps and guard my tongue... I would say He has surely been faithful in this... I am slowly learning to not talk about situations to anyone at all other than God.. (still working on this but getting much better at it..)and to pray about how God would have me handle something and ask Him what it is that He would like me to learn from the situation... what is it He is trying to change in me...

thank you Lord for you unfailing mercy upon me... I thank you for the changes you are creating in me daily... I pray that you will continue to make me and mold me to do Thy will... not mine... in Jesus precious name... amen.amen.amen.

the spoken word...

Genesis 17:23 On that very day Abraham took his son Ishmael and all those born in his household or bought with his money, every male in his household, and circumcised them, as God told him. 24 Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised, 25 and his son Ishmael was thirteen; 26 Abraham and his son Ishmael were both circumcised on that same day. 27 And every male in Abraham's household, including those born in his household or bought from a foreigner, was circumcised with him.

so one day when Abram is 99 years old... God tells him... through spoken word... that he is changing his name and that of his wife also... and that they will be having a son... now that part right there is hard enough to believe by itelf... then God goes on to tell him that his descendants will be like the sands of the ocean... or the stars in the sky... and... that he is to cut the foreskin off of the men in his household... come on now... lets be real... with most of us... that right there is more than too much... it's fine if you say I'm supposed to be a mother as an old woman but to talk about cutting my body parts... and 'special' body parts is even less likely to happen...

this is what is so amazing... some of us hear the spoken word of God in our spirit right now... but we try to find excuses to not do whatever He told us to do... whether it is lack of belief... or lack of desire for it... or lack of wanting to deal with other people's reactions... whatever it is that keeps us from obeying the spoken word of God... look at the scripture... the very same day... Abraham..(immediately he goes by the new name...)takes out all the men of his household and performs minor surgery... (not so sure I would've let him cut me...)and circumcises all these people... young men and grown men both...

sheesh... can you imagine having this much faith in the spoken word of God... now let me tell you... I have pretty much faith in the spoken word of God... anyone who spends any time with me knows that I will just speak out things that God says... I will do things that make me look crazy... some see that more often than most... but no matter how much I say I have... it is nothing compared to Abraham... because for me to move forward... I still tend to wait for approval of man... what if we all just exhibited some truly crazy faith... what changes would be made in the kingdom of God? what would be the differences in your own home, but more importantly, in your church? how is the kingdom of God to get furthered without the people of God getting up the same day and believing the spoken word of God and walking forward into it... show God your love for Him this day... show Him your faith and trust in Him... get up and follow the command of the spoken word of God...even if you are the only one that heard it... He will carry you....