Matthew 20: 25 But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

how often do we really recognize that we were created in Christ to serve others? usually we think of what someone could or should be doing for us... if we would really grasp the idea that we are servants rather than rulers.. that we don't 'deserve' anything or aren't 'owed' anything from anyone... and become true givers... true servants to all that we meet... how much would that change our lives and our attitudes.. but in addition to that... how much would it change the atmosphere of where we are and who we are around.... surely there will be a few that will take advantage.. but that would be between them and God to deal with.. for the most part I think it would make us so much more respected and loved by everyone we encounter... 

this is my new year's new me.. to live the life of a servant to Christ and to man... to everyone I encounter! dear Jesus: please lead me in this change, enable me to become this new person... strengthen me to do it with the right attitude and actions.. amen!

Luke 16: 15 Then he said to them, “You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God.

what the world honors is detestable in the sight of God... so this stands to reason that what God finds honorable... man finds detestable... 

we are often disliked or shunned by people who think they are more than others... if this is the case.. then I would say be glad.. because then you have a chance to be found honorable in the sight of God... 

Matthew 1: 18 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. 19 Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. 20 As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus,[i] for he will save his people from their sins.”

22 All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: 23  “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’”

24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. 25 But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.

so I think we too often forget that these are real people like you and me... so Joseph has a dream and in the dream an angel tells him that mary didn't sleep with another man... AND HE BELIEVES IT... now... I will tell you and you ask yourself.. how many times has God said something to you and as time goes on.. you talk yourself out of it.. and think of all the reasons that it won't work and it couldn't have been God that said it in the beginning... 

that is the real difference between us and the people in the bible... when they heard God... they really believed Him and got up and did just what He said...

Luke 2: 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.

I was thinking.. what if the angel came to mary LONG before she became pregnant with the Son of God... what if she had to hold on to these things for a long time before they actually came to pass... and she was in the dark like we so often are.... 

and here she is.. pondering these things in her heart.. that is how she kept them alive.... that is how she waited on God.. by thinking about all that she believed He had said to her... 

many of us would have decided we didn't really hear from God... and let it go... many of us would have decided we didn't even want it.. and let it go... and throughout the bible... mary goes back and forth with acting like Jesus is God's Son.. to acting like He is the same as any other child or son.. sometimes she wants Him to turn water into wine.. other times she can't understand how He knows so much about God... His brother's were the same way... they wanted His gifts used to their advantage.. yet they said things to signify that He was just another man... and who did He think He is... 

I think we will all have times when we are so on board with what God has said to us.. and others that we feel like we must have just been taking too much pride in ourselves and surely God would not have said something so large or so important to lowly us... 

but if we keep things alive.. by pondering them in our hearts.. when the time is right... God will bring them all to pass... because He is faithful and He is a God who does not lie... 

1 John 2: 15-16 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.

 

I have the verse of the day from biblegateway sent to my email every day and I read it before I ever get out of bed.. this one really struck me...

 

I wouldn't have thought that everything physical that we crave... like for me the jewelry and clothes and shoes... I wouldn't have thought those to be 'worldly'.. of course I didn't think they were spiritual... I just didn't consider them necessarily worldly either...

 

people put so much pride in achievements... and titles.. now that isn't one of my issues.. but I do see many people having it... even godly people... look how upset people get when you remove them from a position... or they don't get the position they wanted... that too is worldly.... my first instinct is to say I can see that one easier because I don't struggle with it.. LOL! but in truth.. I wouldn't have thought that wanting to have a title or position was 'worldly' either...

 

now the reason I say I don't see these things as worldly is because if they are worldly.. in my mind they cannot be okay with God.. because either we are of this world.. or we are of the kingdom mind.. we are to live in this world but not be of it....

 

just when we think we are getting it together.. the bible shows you something else!! and I am thankful for that!

Psalms 47: 4  He decides the extent of our inheritance and selects the land where we and our children will live, for we are the pride of Jacob, the ones He loves.

 

God has already determined.. before we were ever born.. what our inheritance will be... what the inheritance of our children will be...

 

the question for us it the same as with the prodigal son.. will we manage all God gives us faithfully? or will we squander it all...

 

for me personally... I have begun to manage the spiritual inheritance better than I did in the past.... a man I know told me I used to 'pimp my gifts' rather than invest them in the kingdom.. I have tried to stop doing that... now my financial inheritance is another story... whatever the reason.. God has proven Himself over and over.. and I have failed over and over.. yet I tend to go with my own ways in finance rather than His... but in Jesus name.. I will begin to do better with that too..

 

one day I desire to be all that God has called me to be.. and I will have to walk there on a day by day basis...

Colossians 3: 15 ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

this is the scripture I woke up to this morning and I thought... sheesh! we are to live in peace with everyone... if Christ's peace rules in our body... we will be at peace with others.. now I agree with this as a general statement.. I am not as argumentative as I used to be.. but I am still argumentative.. and this situation with this guy from my job driving me berserk tells me that I can still get set off... easily... and quickly... so if I have peace of God ruling within me.. why do I forfeit that for that momentary anger I wonder?

it states as members of one body we are called to live in peace.. we are called to it... somewhat like commanded I am thinking.. again... this is is as a general way to live.. but you have those couple sandpaper people in your life... and imagine the sandpaper people live within your own house... that makes it so much harder to be at peace with them if they are constantly trying to pick at you and get you to react... for me.. it isn't even about an action anymore.. it is more of a reaction... I react to what someone else does.. there was a time that I was acting out.. but it has now become a reaction so that is some progress but surely not where I want to be...

and always be thankful.. this has become my motto in life... I have lived through some dramatic and traumatic things in this life.. and now I am just so thankful.. for the good days and for the bad ones! God has TRULY been good to me.. above and beyond what I could ever think or imagine...

I was reading the 'daily bread' this morning and it was talking about a woman whose mother has alzheimer's and she has slowly deteriorated and the woman says that through this experience she has learned what true love really is... she has learned that you stay through the good and the bad... that you continue to show love regardless of how annoyed you may be... that you love unconditionally.. and even though her mother has lost much of her memory and movement.. she is able to remember that under the person she now looks at.. is the person that she always knew... and she is able to love the person she has always been in spite of what she now sees...

 

and I was thinking... we have all had situations in our lives where it was not easy to love someone... and for me personally.. in the past.. I would just walk away... but I know that is not God's version of love.. we don't just stop dealing with people because they are hard to deal with..

 

don't misunderstand me.. I am not saying we are to stay in abusive relationships or unhealthy ones.. but we walk away from people so easily... I have brothers and sisters I haven't talked to in 23yrs because I was with a black man.. and my kids are black.. how ridiculous is that? that is not the love that God intended for us to have or to show others... God's love is constant.. it is not based on our actions.. it is not based on our feelings.. if we could learn to love as God does.. we could change the world...

 

corinthians 13: love is patient, love is kind.. love is neverending and it never fails.

Romans 6: ¹⁸ Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

I think this is a battle we all face at some time... we stop living for Christ and live instead for the laws.. not intentionally... not even recognizing it.. but this is when we become judgemental and harsh...

I think we see how far we have come and look at someone else and wonder what is wrong with them that they can't seem to get it together.. even if these words don't come out of our mouths.. we still think them...

and at that point.. we have stopped living in Christ's love and began living in the law... looking to the actions of the physical body rather than the emotions of the heart... someone's heart may be right with God.. but sometimes they have an issue they don't seem able to get over.. sometimes it seems they don't even want to get over it... but it is not our place to judge either the person and their actions or their relationship with God...

truly we have enough trouble keeping our own heart pure and cannot afford to be worried about anyone else's condition of the heart..

John 3: ¹⁹ And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. ²⁰ All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. ²¹ But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”

 

I can remember when I was loving the darkness more than the light... I didn't want many of my actions to be exposed.. I would stay away from people or places that could 'expose' me...

 

now that I live in the light I no longer have fear of being exposed.. there is nothing hidden now... I am not trying to look one way and sneak to do something else... so today I can live fully in the light.. both the light of people's eyes and the Light of God...

 

I pray that others can see my life and desire to make a change not based on me.. but based on all the changes that God has made within me... both inside and in my actions...

I was praying/meditating with God this morning.. and I realized.. I can now go into a relationship with a man because of God's great love for me... not because of a man's great love for me.. but because of God's... I used to use the excuse of God loving me so great.. why would I want to add a man to it and allow him to mess it up... today I realize that he wouldn't mess it up... he would be an outlet for this great love of God within me to overflow and touch the man God chooses..

Philippians 4: ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ⁸ And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹ Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

 

this morning.. the man that has been annoying me so badly at work... says something ridiculous about/to someone else in an email and I am copied on it.. my instinct.. my human nature wanted to say something smart to someone else about him... just to push the knife in the reality that he is an idiot... and Jesus stops me.. and tells me to focus my thoughts on that which is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable... thinking about things that are excellent and worthy of praise... so I did not make the comment that I desired to make... I said nothing at all because it did not need to be said...

 

I wonder... if we could take our focus off of ourselves... not just for a minute to get our head right.. but really stop focusing on ourselves for the long haul.... I think we would feel so much better... if I sit and think all day about how annoying this man is... and I admit that many times on a wednesday as my entire payroll is pushed late because of him.. I do fall into that... but... is it going to change my situation? no.. I am going to have to walk through this.. and I have a choice.. either I will walk around mad half my life... or I will recognize that this is just a trial or test.. and my job is to be the best me I can be at the time... I am done letting this stupid man control my attitude and feelings and joy... yes.. I said joy.. peace too if I am honest.. because I cannot have peace and joy along with an attitude...

 

this is my new motto for life: I will fix my thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Thinking about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹ Keep putting into practice all I learned and received about God and His goodness—everything you heard from Him and saw Him doing. Then the God of peace will be with me.

I remember a time that I was thinking that peace of mind is priceless... well it STILL is PRICELESS!

Jude 1: ²⁰ But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, ²¹ and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

²² And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. ²³ Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.

²⁴ Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. ²⁵ All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.

 

we talk all the time about the power of our words... last week we talked about giving up negative words... this is a great thing if we are able to achieve it...

 

what about building others up? what if we were to daily find something positive to say about everyone we come in contact with... not only would this brighten our own outlook.. it would also brighten the day of the person we are speaking the good about... and truly... all of us have positive points and negative ones about us...

 

when I was learning to train the dogs.. they teach you to ignore bad behavior and to praise good behavior.. then the dog will try to stay away from the bad behavior because they don't want to be ignored.. but will do the good behavior to get your praise... you are not to point it out.. you are not to yell at them.. just ignore it... imagine if we did this with the people in our lives... because truly... what other people do is between them and God.. yet we keep making it between them and us.. their sin is not our responsibility... them treating you badly is not your responsibility...  it is theirs.. toward God.. allow Him to be the one to make changes in someone else.. and just keep working on your own actions.. as this is what is between you and God..

I am the Lord your God.. you will have no other gods before Me.

 

we all have 'idols' in our lives.. whether they be things or people... something or someone we put before God.. even when it is unintentional... it is hard work to keep God first in our lives... my thought is that it is that way because we tend to gravitate to what we see and feel rather than Who cares most for us...

 

I read in a devotional today that every relationship in our lives will either pass on or pass away, except our relationship with God.. that is the only permanent relationship we will ever have..

 

even if we have a husband for 50 years.. at some point they will leave us and die.. our kids will either die.. or we will die and leave them... but we don't think about that.. do we.. we strive for permanent relationships on this earth.. whether they be man/woman or child.. or even friend... and I believe that all of our relationships are a gift from God.. they can be used as something to learn from whether it is a long relationship or a short one... and we should value them while we have them..

 

but the one 'forever' relationship we can have.. that is the one that we tend to take the most for granted... we are a strange people... while all of our energy should be put into the one great relationship we can have.. still we strive toward the ones that are going to end at one point...

 

Lord help me to always remember that You alone are my forever relationship and to not take You for granted but to ALWAYS give you first place in my life... amen.

Jeremiah 6: ²⁷ “Jeremiah, I have made you a tester of metals, that you may determine the quality of my people. ²⁸ They are the worst kind of rebel, full of slander. They are as hard as bronze and iron, and they lead others into corruption. ²⁹ The bellows fiercely fan the flames to burn out the corruption. But it does not purify them, for the wickedness remains. ³⁰ I will label them ‘Rejected Silver,’ for I, the Lord, am discarding them.”

 

I read this and I think how horrible it would be for God to discard me.. to consider me rejected silver... it would just break my heart... I have fallen so many times... I have done so much wrong.. and yet God did not completely reject me.. He did not discard me.. even though my heart was evil... yet He saw something of Him deep within me...

 

I am so thankful that God did not give up on me.. I will spend the rest of my life praising Him and worshipping Him and serving Him for being so faithful to me when I was not faithful to Him...

Exodus 23: ²⁰ “See, I am sending an angel before you to protect you on your journey and lead you safely to the place I have prepared for you. ²¹ Pay close attention to him, and obey his instructions. Do not rebel against him, for he is my representative, and he will not forgive your rebellion. ²² But if you are careful to obey him, following all my instructions, then I will be an enemy to your enemies, and I will oppose those who oppose you. ²³ For my angel will go before you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites, and Jebusites, so you may live there. And I will destroy them completely. ²⁴ You must not worship the gods of these nations or serve them in any way or imitate their evil practices. Instead, you must utterly destroy them and smash their sacred pillars.

 

as I was reading this last night I was thinking.. God sends an angel out before us.. preparing our path and protecting us so that we get where He is wanting us to get... I thought that was an awesome reality...

 

then He states " do not rebel against him for he is My representative and he will not forgive your rebellion".. well I gotta say.. that did not sit too well with me.. I have surely rebelled many a day against the way God would have me to go... so does that mean that I won't make it where I am going? does it mean we never reach our personal promised land?

 

I don't really think it does.. my prayer/hope would be that yea.. maybe God would back up from us for a while... but as we turn back toward Him.. and we always do eventually turn back toward Him if we really knew Him... then the journey begins again.. and this time.. or maybe not for another 100 times.. but eventually.. we do follow obediently... other than unintentionaly mess ups... because at this time.. we really do desire to live God's will out... and then those promises.. that the angel will be with us and fight with us and for us and he will protect us.. then we really have that angel doing all those things...

 

and I am thankful for that... I am thankful that God doesn't give up on us in our rebellion and immaturity... He allows us to learn the hard way that our way is not the right way... and He brings us finally to our promised land... and lives and resides with us...

saturday morning I am on my way to church... as I am at a stop light a man in a lexus (fairly attractive-could have got a date in the past) is looking at me and smiling... and my thought is.. I so understand a street man.. and I don't understand a church man at all...

I have been thinking this for several years... I thought that church men don't make any sense to me because they know Jesus and yet they still treat women badly.. and because they know Jesus we are not expecting it and in my own case was hurt more deeply than a street man ever hurt me because I expected nothing from them.. whereas I expected everything from the church man...

 

this morning driving to work God says the issue is not the man.. it is the church woman... HUH?????

when you were looking at or dating street men.. you knew what it was.. you knew what to expect.. and you knew how to respond... you begin to look at a church man and all of a sudden you think he is no longer a regular man.. you think he is dating with the intention of marriage where you never thought that with a street man.. so recognize a man is a man and act accordingly....

 

WHEW!!! that was so profound to me!!! and so truth!!

we as women imagine that men in church are immediately looking to marry us in 10minutes so we will be up for whatever.. yet when you met a man in the club you weren't up for whatever because you understood what he was really thinking... reality is.. even if the church man ends up marrying you... that was not his first thought.. because he is a man.. he is visual.. and just like any other man he wants sex... it is our job to not prostitute ourselves thinkig every man is thinking about marriage.. make him wait... just like you should have been doing with the street man...

 

thank you Jesus for that amazing lesson in manology!!

I have really been having a rough couple years spiritually...

this last 2-3 years my beliefs have really been tested... there have been times that I haven't been sure if God ever spoke to me... I didn't know if I ever even knew God at all.... was God even here? was I truly alone and all of this relationship with God had just been a fantasy...

this is the truth of what I don't know and what I do know at the end of the battle... well I don't know if the battle is over or not... but I pray it is...

I need to stop being influenced by other voices...
God has been all I have believed I had all my life... so if He hasn't been real.. then I have been disillusioned long term...
whether any of this is truth whether it is not... I would rather die believing in God and Him not have been real.. than to die not believing and He is real...
I love God... all of my life.. all of these years.. He has been the only constant in my life... people come and go.. even family members... even if I were to get married.. that man would eventually die.. or I would.. and one of us would be without one another again... the only One that will never leave me.. even after death... that is God... He is the center of my existence... He is my truth... He is my reality... above all else...

I will continue to try to be more like Christ every day... what I have read and believed for Him to be... that is all there is for me...

Hebrews 6: So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God. ² You don’t need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. ³ And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding.

⁴ For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened—those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, ⁵ who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come— ⁶ and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once again and holding him up to public shame.

 

this is one of the times I am not a fan of paul.. if he wrote this book... it seems they are unsure who wrote this because it was much better writing technique than paul normally is known for... whoever wrote it.. I am not their friend... I have fallen away from God over and over throughout this lifetime.. and while I think it will never happen again... it did.. but I don't believe God gave up on me.. or determined I was worthless or it was impossible to bring me back to repentance... I just got sidetracked by self....

 

I am so thankful that God does not give up on us.... so thankful that He gave me one more chance after the 300,000 I had already messed up on...

Hosea 3: The Eternal spoke with me again.

Eternal One: Go and love a woman who is loved by someone else and is adulterous. Care for her and protect her, just as I love the people of Israel even though they’re unfaithfully turning to other gods and selfishly eating sacred raisin cakes in their honor.

² So I paid the bride-price for this woman, less than I would pay to own a slave: six ounces of silver, about ten bushels of barley.

Hosea (to the woman): ³ You’re going to live with me for a long time. I didn’t buy you just for my own pleasure, and I’m not going to cast you aside. But I’m not going to let you commit adultery again—in fact, you’re not going to have sexual relations with anyone, not even me.

⁴ In the same way, the people of Israel will go for a long time without having a king or prince of their own, without having any altars or sacred pillars, and without having any way of divining answers through a vestment or images. ⁵ And afterward, once their devotion is renewed, they’ll return and genuinely worship the Eternal their God, and they’ll end their rebellion against the royal house of David. In those days they’ll come trembling to the Eternal One and rediscover His goodness.

 

I always thought that hosea went and re-bought gomer.. but this version makes it seem as if it were a different woman... idk if  that is right...

it says he paid less for her than what he would have paid for a slave... can you imagine if our worth was less to God than that of a slave? I would say that has been true of men.. but it would be tramatic if that were true of God... thankfully.. it is NOT true of Him...

 

he says he will live with her a long time and he will not allow her to be adulterous... and that he did not buy her for his own pleasure alone.. and he promises to not cast her aside...  and they would not have sexual relations.. other versions say for a long time... this version sounds like ever... in the name of Jesus.. please don't let it be never again....

 

and once our devotion is once again for God alone.. then we will re-discover His goodness... and that has surely been the truth in my life.. and I see it being truth in Tina's life too... thank you Father!!!

1 John 2: ⁷ My loved ones, in one sense, I am not writing a new command for you. I am only reminding you of the old command. It’s a word you already know, a word that has existed from the beginning. ⁸ However, in another sense, I am writing a new command for you. The new command is the truth that He lived; and now you are living it, too, because the darkness is fading and the true light is already shining among you.

⁹ Anyone who says, “I live in the light,” but hates his brother or sister is still living in the shadows. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves his brother or sister lives in the light and will not trip because his conscience is clear. ¹¹ But anyone who hates his brother is in the darkness, stumbling around with no idea where he is going, blinded by the darkness.

 

 

anytime we hate people.. we are in darkness... sheesh...

 

 

Father fill me with your love and your light so that I no longer look at people from my human standpoint but instead see them through your eyes of love..

1 Kings 19: ⁴ He journeyed into the desert for one day and then decided to rest beneath the limbs of a broom tree. There he prayed that his life would be over quickly and that he would die there beneath the tree.

Elijah: I’m finished, Eternal One. Please end my life here and now, even though I have failed, and I am no better than my ancestors.

⁵ Elijah then laid himself down under the broom tree and entered into a deep sleep. While he was sleeping, a heavenly messenger came and touched him and gave him instructions.

Eternal One: ¹¹ Leave this cave, and go stand on the mountainside in My presence.
The Eternal passed by him. The mighty wind separated the mountains and crumbled every stone before the Eternal. This was not a divine wind, for the Eternal was not within this wind. After the wind passed through, an earthquake shook the earth. This was not a divine quake, for the Eternal was not within this earthquake. ^12-13 After the earthquake was over, there was a fire. This was not a divine fire, for the Eternal was not within this fire.
After the fire died out, there was nothing but the sound of a calm breeze. And through this breeze a gentle, quiet voice entered into Elijah’s ears. He covered his face with his cloak and went to the mouth of the cave. Suddenly, Elijah was surprised.

Eternal One: Why are you here, Elijah? What is it that you desire?
Elijah: ¹⁴ As you know, all my passion has been devoted to the Eternal God of heavenly armies. The Israelites have abandoned Your covenant with them, they have torn down every one of Your altars, and they have executed all who prophesy in Your name by the sword. I am the last remaining prophet, and they now seek to execute me as well. They won’t stop.
Eternal One: ¹⁵ Travel back the same way you traveled here, but continue north to the desert of Damascus. There, I want you to anoint Hazael as Aram’s king, ¹⁶ Jehu (Nimshi’s son) as Israel’s king, and Elisha (Shaphat’s son from Abel-meholah) to replace you as prophet. ¹⁷ Jehu will execute anyone who escapes from Hazael, and Elisha will execute all who escape from Jehu. ¹⁸ I will keep for Myself the 7,000 Israelites who have not bowed down to Baal or offered him kisses.

about 40 days after Elijah asked God to let him die... God tells him to appoint Elisha to replace him....

was this the plan all along? or did God give Elijah what he wanted?

consider the power of our words and how often we speak and say we don't want something... what if God took it from us 40days later....

John 8: 8 Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ² He awoke early in the morning to return to the temple. When He arrived, the people surrounded Him, so He sat down and began to teach them. ³ While He was teaching, the scribes and Pharisees brought in a woman who was caught in the act of adultery; and they stood her before Jesus.

Pharisees: ⁴ Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ Moses says in the law that we are to kill such women by stoning. What do You say about it?

⁶ This was all set up as a test for Jesus; His answers would give them grounds to accuse Him of crimes against Moses’ law. Jesus bent over and wrote something in the dirt with His finger. ⁷ They persisted in badgering Jesus, so He stood up straight.

Jesus: Let the first stone be thrown by the one among you who has not sinned.

⁸ Once again Jesus bent down to the ground and resumed writing with His finger. ⁹ The Pharisees who heard Him stood still for a few moments and then began to leave slowly, one by one, beginning with the older men. Eventually only Jesus and the woman remained, ¹⁰ and Jesus looked up.

Jesus: Dear woman, where is everyone? Are we alone? Did no one step forward to condemn you?
Woman Caught in Adultery: ¹¹ Lord, no one has condemned me.
Jesus: Well, I do not condemn you either; all I ask is that you go and from now on avoid the sins that plague you.

all that Jesus asks from us is that we will go and now avoid the sins that plague us...
often we feel condemned when we do something we knew we shouldn't... even something just as 'small' as gossip or anger...

all God really wants from us is for us to repent and turn from it...

He also called it the sins that plague her.. meaning we must all acknowledge that we have things that are sinful and plaguing us.. and yet Jesus is asking us to avoid them.. but He is not condemning us for them..

2 corinthians 3: 14 But the people’s minds were hardened, and to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, the same veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ.

 

I wonder sometimes why people can't see what the scriptures are saying.. what the gift of Jesus really is...

 

it amazes me how often God allows someone's heart or mind to be hardened... I wouldn't expect Him to do that.. I would expect that He is saving the world not hardening their mind or heart... but many times throughout the bible we see that happening...

 

I wonder when my own heart was so hard.. was it done by God.. so that I would follow the path that brought me here.. if my heart were not hard would I have married someone else after big greg while I was supposed to stay alone... I may never know the answers to these questions.. as my thoughts are not the thoughts of God.. and my ways are not His ways...

1 John 2: The word “sin” has virtually disappeared from modern conversation. Afraid of sounding judgmental, we call sin something else—a mistake, an addiction, a tendency, a bad decision—and ignore it as normal and natural behavior. But John is calling the church to a radical holiness where those in the church will regularly remember their sins and seek God’s forgiveness. Each sin, small and large, injures us or someone else; it imprints on our soul, makes us imperfect, and separates us from the perfect God. If we confess our sins to God each day, then He will purify our hearts and draw us closer to Him.
2 You are my little children, so I am writing these things to help you avoid sin. If, however, any believer does sin, we have a high-powered defense lawyer—Jesus the Anointed, the righteous—arguing on our behalf before the Father. ² It was through His sacrificial death that our sins were atoned. But He did not stop there—He died for the sins of the whole world.

John is affectionately addressing this letter to his “little children,” and he is writing to help them avoid sin and the pain and guilt that come with it. The glamour of decadent lifestyles devoid of God is often advertised as the epitome of joy and freedom. But what are often conveniently left out of these portrayals are the agonizing consequences of such destructive lifestyles. Meaningful pleasure comes not when we are enslaved by the empty promises of the world, but when we are living in loving obedience to God.

³ We know we have joined Him in an intimate relationship because we live out His commands. ⁴ If someone claims, “I am in an intimate relationship with Him,” but this big talker doesn’t live out His commands, then this individual is a liar and a stranger to the truth. ⁵ But if someone responds to and obeys His word, then God’s love has truly taken root and filled him. This is how we know we are in an intimate relationship with Him: ⁶ anyone who says, “I live in intimacy with Him,” should walk the path Jesus walked.

I thought it was very humbling... I know that I try to smooth over my own sins.. I justify that they are not as bad as what I used to be... yet every sin is separation from God and if we are not confessing these things when God touches us with conviction.. if we sweep them away.. which I think I have been doing... then it separates us... because it hasn't been confessed and repented of..

 

for my own self.. I am thinking of keeping a note pad of things that God tells me I am doing that I need to stop... the reason behind this is two-fold.. for one thing.. if I write it and confess it.. acknowledging it is sin.. then I am more likely to think twice before doing it again... secondly.. I think it will be a reminder that I am not nearly as together as I would like to say I am...

2 Peter 1: God took the first step to rescue us from this corrupt world. He has granted us His power, revealed to us true knowledge, and spoken to us great promises. He has done all this for a reason: that we might participate in His own nature and reflect His own life. But we are not passive observers of God’s saving actions. We must receive His grace, grow in knowledge, and join Him in this work of redemption.

⁵ To achieve this, you will need to add virtue to your faith, and then knowledge to your virtue; ⁶ to knowledge, add discipline; to discipline, add endurance; to endurance, add godliness; ⁷ to godliness, add affection for others as sisters and brothers; and to affection, at last, add love. ⁸ For if you possess these traits and multiply them, then you will never be ineffective or unproductive in your relationship with our Lord Jesus the Anointed; ⁹ but if you don’t have these qualities, then you will be nearsighted and blind, forgetting that your past sins have been washed away. ¹⁰ Therefore, brothers and sisters, work that much harder to confirm that God has called you and claimed you. If you do this, then you will never fall along the way; ¹¹ and you can be sure that you will be richly welcomed into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King.

 

I think we often think we go to the altar and get saved and go to church regularly.. we serve in a ministry... we let go of drinking or some of the outward sins... whatever they may have been.. and we are good... this is how we become judgmental... we forget that we still are not where we should be... Peter tells us just how much more there is do be changed and transformed...

faith... then virtue... then knowledge.. then discipline.. then endurance.. then godliness.. then affection... then love...

 

when I look at this list of qualities I need to have.. I see how short I am from where God will take me eventually... Peter goes on to say that if we don't have these qualities we are ineffective and nearsighted... and I would say in many ways I am these things...

 

strange how we think we have arrived.. then Jesus opens our eyes to see we are still just walking up the road.. thankfully.. we are walking toward Him and no longer backward!! but we have too far to go to become self righteous and judgmental now............

genesis 2: ²¹ So the Eternal God put him into a deep sleep, removed a rib from his side, and closed the flesh around the opening. ²² He formed a woman from the rib taken out of the man and presented her to him.

²³ Adam: At last, a suitable companion, a perfect partner. Bone from my bones. Flesh from my flesh. I will call this one “woman” as an eternal reminder that she was taken out of man.

²⁴ Now this is the reason a man leaves his father and his mother, and is united with his wife; and the two become one flesh. ²⁵ In those days the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

 

I was thinking... how many times in our lives have we been completely comfortable in our naked body? especially in front of someone?

I think maybe it isn't so much about weight or shape as it is about acceptance... if we are accepted then we are comfortable...

I think if we were born for a man and to be a companion and partner to him... then you wonder why relationships aren't easier.. more comfortable... more secure... yet they aren't...

the only secure relationship I have today or ever have had is my relationship with God.. .Him... I am sure of and comfortable with.. even naked...

Esther 1: ¹⁰ On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas— ¹¹ to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. ¹² But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come. This made the king furious, and he burned with anger.¹⁶ Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. ¹⁷ Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. ¹⁸ Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger.

 

many women use this scripture to uphold women's rights and their right to stand against those in authority... vashti was not an israelite.. she did not know God.. she worshipped idols just like her husband did.. they were persian... the reason she refused to go when he called her may have been embarrassment.. it may have been pride... I would lean toward the pride... surely I realize that none of us want to be put on display before men... yet we do it all the time.. in the way we dress.. and the way we present ourselves as sexually desirable.. I also realize that it may be different for US to be the one initiating it rather than a man forcing us... in the times they were living... she did not have the right to go against him for the reason of him being her husband.. but also the fact that he was the king of the nation.. and what she did was to usurp his authority... she was the original jezebel spirit... and it cost her everything.... how many wives of our own day and age treat their husbands just like vashti treated the king...

 

Esther 4: ¹⁵ Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: ¹⁶ “Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die.” ¹⁷ So Mordecai went away and did everything as Esther had ordered him.

Esther 5: On the third day of the fast, Esther put on her royal robes and entered the inner court of the palace, just across from the king’s hall. The king was sitting on his royal throne, facing the entrance. ² When he saw Queen Esther standing there in the inner court, he welcomed her and held out the gold scepter to her. So Esther approached and touched the end of the scepter. ³ Then the king asked her, “What do you want, Queen Esther? What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half the kingdom!”

 

while esther also did something that was forbidden... she put God first... her motives were not to raise up her own desires.. but instead to go on behalf of a nation... she had the entire nation to fast with her... then she prayed and clearly allowed God's will to be done and not her own...

how often do we try to act as though we are doing something righteous and really we are doing it to further ourselves?

if we put God first... humble ourselves before Him... then we receive all that He has for us...

the true difference between esther and vashti was not only God behind her.. but also pride vs humilty.. and humility and God won..

James 3: ¹³ Who in your community is understanding and wise? Let his example, which is marked by wisdom and gentleness, blaze a trail for others. ¹⁴ If your heart is one that bleeds dark streams of jealousy and selfishness, do not be so proud that you ignore your depraved state. ¹⁵ The wisdom of this world should never be mistaken for heavenly wisdom; it originates below in the earthly realms, with the demons. ¹⁶ Any place where you find jealousy and selfish ambition, you will discover chaos and evil thriving under its rule. ¹⁷ Heavenly wisdom centers on purity, peace, gentleness, deference, mercy, and other good fruits untainted by hypocrisy. ¹⁸ The seed that flowers into righteousness will always be planted in peace by those who embrace peace.

 

I read this last saturday and thought.. wow... if my heart is jealous and I am selfish... do not ignore my depraved state...

I am often jealous... I don't know what causes it... I have tried to kill it.. to block it out.. to pretend it is not there.. yet it is.. even if I never say it out loud... and selfishness... well I am selfish.. and I think as I get older and stay alone.. it gets worse and worse...

 

I don't know what the answers are... but I agree that I need rid of these two evils...

 

they don't affect my peace at most times.. well.. I guess the jealousy does.. but not the selfishness.. and it probably should.. LOL v16 says anywhere you find jealousy and selfish ambition you will discover chaos and evil thriving.. I don't like to imagine I am full of evil or chaos either one... but I do know that God knows me better than I know myself... so maybe it is true...

James 4: ⁶ You may think that the situation is hopeless, but God gives us more grace when we turn away from our own interests. That’s why Scripture says, God opposes the proud, but He pours out grace on the humble. ⁷ So submit yourselves to the one true God and fight against the devil and his schemes. If you do, he will run away in failure. ⁸ Come close to the one true God, and He will draw close to you. Wash your hands; you have dirtied them in sin. Cleanse your heart, because your mind is split down the middle, your love for God on one side and selfish pursuits on the other.

Since the beginning, our loving Creator has been pursuing us, drawing us closer to Him. He invites us to move closer to Him so we can be fully His.

⁹ Now is the time to lament, to grieve, and to cry. Dissolve your laughter into sobbing, and exchange your joy for depression. ¹⁰ Lay yourself bare, facedown to the ground, in humility before the Lord; and He will lift your head so you can stand tall. ¹¹ My brothers and sisters, do not assault each other with criticism. If you decide your job is to accuse and judge another believer, then you are a self-appointed critic and judge of the law; if so, then you are no longer a doer of the law and subject to its rule; you stand over it as a judge. ¹² Know this—there is One who stands supreme as Judge and Lawgiver. He alone is able to save and to destroy, so who are you to step in and try to judge another?

I look at v8 and it states our mind is split down the middle.. part of us wanting our own will and part of us loving God.. I agree that is true... even when we act and talk as if it is not... even if we really do want God's will for our lives.. we still battle to die to self and our own wants... I don't think that just dies because we don't want to be like that or because we know it is wrong... it still lingers and we have to cast it out or cast it down over and over....

I think of us judging others... we all like to imagine we don't... but we do.. even if it is in small and seemingly irrelevant ways... we may not look at someone in judgement over some things... maybe we do not say that they cannot be saved because of their actions... but we judge them for something else... maybe the type of mother they are.. or the way they dress.. or the way they talk....

I heard that people are talking about someone I know recently.. that possibly he has done something sinful.. and I think... while we think that we are all supposed to walk upright... and that is what we strive for.. don't we all have our weaknesses? does this really reflect his relationship with God? I would be judgemental and say yes it does.. because if I can give up things for my relationship with God.. why couldn't someone else?? maybe it is about spiritual maturity.. maybe someone SHOULD BE spiritually mature enough to not outright sin.. but is that reality?

is an outward sin any different than a sin in attitude or anger or even the fact that someone would judge someone else... would their outward sin be any different than me determining they must not be completely right with God.. maybe I am not completely right with God because I am thinking like that...

on the flip side.. can we allow people to just sin openly and teach or hold positions in the church? my opinion is that they should have to step down... but am I right in that feeling? is that judging someone?

I think if we were minding our own business we may not even know someone else's situation... and unless they come and talk to us about it.. I think we are to leave it to leadership... pray and sin not... don't talk about it to others.. don't dwell on it.. don't look at them differently..... I really think this is the right thing... if they do come and talk to us personally... all we can do is give the advice in the word of God and pray with them... then let it go... trust God to take care of it....

we need to stop talking about one another.. we need to be a safe place to others... and the way to become that is to become trustworthy and honest...

1 kings 15: ⁵ For David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord and had not failed to keep any of the Lord’s commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite.

 

I read this and I thought... so the murder of uriah was the only time david didn't keep the commands of God? what about the adultery of bathsheba?? or was she so insignificant that it didn't count? these were my thoughts last night...

 

does God only care about the men? really? do we have evidence biblically that it is not true?

 

I know He cares for us... I know He uses women regularly.. but sometimes the way they word things about women is really a problem for me....

 

in my heart I believe that the adultery that he commited with bathsheba was also a time when he disobeyed and failed to keep the command of God.. adultery is one of the big 10... God cares about that... more than that.. because he was king.. she really didn't have too much choice in it... if he called her to him.. how could she say no thank you... it was not done... so this sin completely lay upon HIS soul.. not hers...

 

she may have ended up to be solomon's mother... she may have ended up david's wife... but she paid a very high cost for it... she lost a good man as a husband at the hand of the man she has to marry afterward.. she is pregnant with a child to the king while married to one of david's best soldiers... and all this happens with her having no say so... we don't know about her relationship with God... we don't know anything more about it... but I say she had a rough life.. even though she carried out God's will for her life...

 

so the moral of the story: God's will does not always look like we think it should.. and it certainly is not always something we would want.. but it will always affect more people than just us....

Acts 8: Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.

A great wave of persecution began that day, sweeping over the church in Jerusalem; and all the believers except the apostles were scattered through the regions of Judea and Samaria. ² (Some devout men came and buried Stephen with great mourning.) ³ But Saul was going everywhere to destroy the church. He went from house to house, dragging out both men and women to throw them into prison.

 

its crazy how we get so caught up in doing things one way that we can't allow any room for change.. even if the change is from God... paul was in agreement with the killing of a man... yet the bible clearly says we are not to murder... but because the plan of Jesus was so outrageous... and they didn't know how to control it... they thought they would take extreme measures.. just like the crucifixion of Jesus... that was murder.. yet it was done by the church! using the roman people who were persecuting them...

 

on the flip side.. this very persecution of those who believed in Christ as the Messiah... they were the very reason that the word of Jesus salvation was spread throughout the neighboring countries... they had to scatter.. yet they could not keep silent... that is how the word spread...

 

I find the church to often get so caught up in tradition that we cannot see if God could be trying something different... some days we need to allow the Spirit to cause us to just watch rather than fight everything He could be doing.. I too am guilty of this because I am quite sure (97%) that my way is always the best way of doing something.. it may not be the only way.. but surely the best way... I really need to overcome that and work WITH God rather than against those I think may not be from God... *sighs* change my heart O Lord.. create a clean heart and clean hands in me... in Jesus name I ask.. amen.amen.amen.

Psalms 63: 6 I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. 7 Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. 8 I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.

 

there was a time when I would lie awake at night thinking about a man... I find that at this point in my life.. maybe a man crosses my mind during the night.. especially if I am waking from a dream.. but it is really God I am concentrating on... sometimes I just lie there realizing how much I have and how good He is to me.. how much He loves me... how much more His love means to me than any love I have ever had before.. that the love God has for me can never be replaced by a human... and my love for Him is stronger than any emotion I have had for anyone.. even for my own children... as much as I love them.. I could not live without God...

 

He keeps me in the shadow of His wings.. He protects me.. for the first time in my life.. I am completely alone at night in a house that is not small... I am not afraid... God protects me.. I know this.. I feel it every night... I feel His protection and love covering me..

 

He holds me securely... He is truly all that I need.. and I do cling to Him...

 

love may come and love may go.. but my relationship and my love affair with my God.. those are eternal... everlasting..

I corinthians 2: ⁹ The Holy Writings say, “No eye has ever seen or no ear has ever heard or no mind has ever thought of the wonderful things God has made ready for those who love Him.” ¹⁰ God has shown these things to us through His Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit Who looks into all things, even the secrets of God, and shows them to us. ¹¹ Who can know the things about a man, except a man’s own spirit that is in him? It is the same with God. Who can understand Him except the Holy Spirit? ¹² We have not received the spirit of the world. God has given us His Holy Spirit that we may know about the things given to us by Him. ¹³ We speak about these things also. We do not use words of man’s wisdom. We use words given to us by the Holy Spirit. We use these words to tell what the Holy Spirit wants to say to those who put their trust in Him. ¹⁴ But the person who is not a Christian does not understand these words from the Holy Spirit. He thinks they are foolish. He cannot understand them because he does not have the Holy Spirit to help him understand.

 

I think I have talked about this scripture 100 times before.. it is surely a favorite of mine..

the truth is... the bible is a living breathing book... it should be breathing new life into us every time we open it.. the Spirit should be communicating with us through it...

how often do we put the spirit under a basket of unbelief and fear and doubt... He can speak to us.. and we will stand there imagining it was our own mind that came up with it....

Jesus.. I believe!!! help my unbelief... change me.. cause me to take You at Your word and believe all that I am told by Your Spirit... open my spirit eyes to see the truths that you have for me.. don't allow circumstances to cause me to become fearful and dismayed... keep me believing.. keep me focused.. keep me alive in my spirit...

Matthew 26: Jesus: ³¹ Scripture says, I shall strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will scatter. Just so, each of you will stumble tonight, stumble and fall, on account of Me. ³² Afterward I will be raised up. And I will go before you to Galilee.

Peter: ³³ Lord, maybe everyone else will trip and fall tonight, but I will not. I’ll be beside You. I won’t falter.

Jesus: ³⁴ If only that were true. In fact, this very night, before the cock crows in the morning, you will deny Me three times. Peter: ³⁵ No! I won’t deny You. Even if that means I have to die with You!

And each of the disciples echoed Peter.

It is indeed a dark, bitter night. The disciples are sad and confused, and maybe a little bit prideful. Peter can not believe that he could ever betray his Lord.

³⁶ At that, Jesus led His disciples to the place called Gethsemane.

Jesus: I am going over there to pray. You sit here while I’m at prayer.

³⁷ Then He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee with Him, and He grew sorrowful and deeply distressed.

Jesus: ³⁸ My soul is overwhelmed with grief, to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me. ³⁹ He walked a little farther and finally fell prostrate and prayed. Jesus: Father, this is the last thing I want. If there is any way, please take this bitter cup from Me. Not My will, but Yours be done.

⁴⁰ When He came back to the disciples, He saw that they were asleep. Peter awoke a little less confident and slightly chagrined.

Jesus (to Peter): So you couldn’t keep watch with Me for just one short hour? ⁴¹ Now maybe you’re learning: the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Watch and pray and take care that you are not pulled down during a time of testing.

⁴² With that, Jesus returned to His secluded spot to pray again.

Jesus: Father, if there is no other way for this cup to pass without My drinking it—then not My will, but Yours be done.

⁴³ Again Jesus returned to His disciples and found them asleep. Their eyes were heavy-lidded. ⁴⁴ So Jesus left them again and returned to prayer, praying the same sentiments with the same words. ⁴⁵ Again He returned to His disciples.

Jesus: Well, you are still sleeping; are you getting a good long rest? Now the time has come; the Son of Man is just about to be given over to the betrayers and the sinners. ⁴⁶ Get up; we have to be going. Look, here comes the one who’s going to betray Me.

⁴⁷ There he was, Judas, one of the twelve leading a crowd of people from the chief priests and elders with swords and clubs; the chief priests and the elders were right there, ready to arrest Jesus. ⁴⁸ And Judas, the one who intended to betray Him, had said to the elders and the chief priests that he would give them a sign. Judas Iscariot: I’ll greet Him with a kiss. And you will know that the one I kiss is the one you should arrest. ⁴⁹ So at once, he went up to Jesus. Judas Iscariot: Greetings, Teacher (he kisses Him). Jesus: ⁵⁰ My friend, do what you have come to do. And at that, the company came and seized Him. ⁵¹ One of the men with Jesus grabbed his sword and swung toward the high priest’s slave, slicing off his ear.

Jesus: ⁵² Put your sword back. People who live by the sword die by the sword. ⁵³ Surely you realize that if I called on My Father, He would send 12 legions of messengers to rescue Me. ⁵⁴ But if I were to do that, I would be thwarting the scriptural story, wouldn’t I? And we must allow the story of God’s kingdom to unfold. ⁵⁵ (to the crowds) Why did you bring these weapons, these clubs and bats? Did you think I would fight you? That I would try to dodge and escape like a common criminal? You could have arrested Me any day when I was teaching in the temple, but you didn’t. ⁵⁶ This scene has come together just so, so that the prophecies in the sacred Scripture could be fulfilled.

 

And at that, all the disciples ran away and abandoned Him.

 

 

the whole crucifixion story bothers me.. badly.. I rarely read it.. it disturbs my spirit to realize that because of my sinfulness.. Jesus had to die.. and I can say I have learned.. I can say anything I want.. but at the end of it I realize that like the disciples I often chose my own comfort and desires over standing for God...

 

but because of Jesus I can now stand for God...

 

it bothers me that at His lowest point everyone abandoned Him... it hurts me.. it makes my heart bleed... I wish I could have stood with Him.. been the one to be faithful... but would I have been? I will never know... I am thankful that Jesus loves me even if I would abandon Him... and He uses those times to teach us more of His love for us..

Matthew 28: ¹¹ As the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and told the leading priests what had happened. ¹² A meeting with the elders was called, and they decided to give the soldiers a large bribe. ¹³ They told the soldiers, “You must say, ‘Jesus’ disciples came during the night while we were sleeping, and they stole his body.’ ¹⁴ If the governor hears about it, we’ll stand up for you so you won’t get in trouble.” ¹⁵ So the guards accepted the bribe and said what they were told to say. Their story spread widely among the Jews, and they still tell it today.

¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples left for Galilee, going to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him—but some of them doubted!

 

I would like to imagine that if I had lived when Jesus did that I would be so confident and so sure of Him and my relationship with Him.. I often think that God being physical and me being able to go to Him and ask questions and get answers out loud would solve all of my troubles in this world...

 

if the disciples physically walked with Jesus for 3years.. and saw Him resurrected and doubted... what would make me any different...

look at how the leaders of the church came up with a story to create doubt about His resurrection.. how many would be sucked into doubt? apparently alot...

I think that being faced with doubt is part of this walk with Christ... if we didn't have doubt... not even doubt.. but situations that could cause doubt.. then we wouldn't have faith either... we have to be able to believe in things we cannot see... I think that is the truth about every situation in our lives... we have to be able to believe in things.. believe in God.. believe in Love... even when we have been shown contrary circumstances...

otherwise we would constantly be miserable and negative... faith brings hope.. hope brings life...

Jeremiah 4: ³ This is what the Eternal now says to the people of Judah and the citizens of Jerusalem.

Eternal One: Break up the hard, untilled soil! It is a waste to plant seeds among thorns. ⁴ Circumcise yourselves to Me; cut away the foreskin of your hearts, men of Judah and people of Jerusalem. Remove all that stands between us, and devote yourselves fully to Me, Or the heat of My anger will burn as an unquenchable fire against your wicked ways.

 

circumcise our hearts... cut away the foreskin of our hearts... remove all that stands between God and us... and devote ourselves fully to Him...

if I am honest... many times I have thought I have devoted myself completely to God... and most of those times I was wrong... in truth.. the most devoted times I have had to God in my life were times when I had nothing else... and I wonder.. why is that? why is it so hard for God to be first in our lives when we have other people close to us or we have other things that vie for our attention... in our mind God is still first... but is He really?

if He were.. I doubt that we.. like the israelites... would continue to be knocked down and knocked over all the time... if God were really first in our lives.. wouldn't our lives be far more peaceful and less stressful.... that is one of the promises of the bible.. that God will shelter us from evil...

that is not to say there will never be troubles.. but I really doubt our entire lives would be trouble after trouble after trouble...

 

I think somehow we have to learn to put God first and keep Him there... while having others in our lives too... I think it is probably very hurtful to God that we keep on putting other people before Him.. yet He is the only faithful One we have ever known....

Psalms 42: ¹ My soul is dry and thirsts for You, True God, as a deer thirsts for water. ² I long for the True God who lives. When can I stand before Him and feel His comfort? ³ Right now I’m overwhelmed by my sorrow and pain; I can’t stop feasting on my tears. People crowd around me and say, “Where is your True God whom you claim will save?”

⁵ Why am I so overwrought? Why am I so disturbed? Why can’t I just hope in God? Despite all my emotions, I will believe and praise the One who saves me and is my life.

 

why can't I just hope in God? why do we get so caught up in our feelings and circumstances that we can't remember how many times God has rescued us in the past.. or we do remember Him rescuing us but we think that we have done so much wrong that we cannot be saved anymore...

 

I wonder how many people feel like that... that they are too damaged to be saved now... I guess that is not really accepting God's love for us.. in our words we may say we accept it but apparently we are not really accepting it... how often do we doubt God's plans because we are not good enough? we have done too much.. our past has surely disqualified us...

 

I realize even with myself.. while I think I know how much God loves me.. there are just some things that I can feel like I am just not good enough for... maybe I can do the work but do not qualify for a real life christian man... maybe I can teach kids but am not qualified to teach women...

 

I think the best thing any of us can do is to search the bible to find out just how much we mean to God.. and learn to accept it.. despite who we are or who we used to be...

Matthew 24: ⁹ “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. ¹⁰ And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. ¹¹ And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. ¹² Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. ¹³ But the one who endures to the end will be saved. ¹⁴ And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.

 

I am sure when Jesus said all this to them.. they weren't really thinking of being killed and persecuted... most of us don't take things so literally..

He told them they would be hated.. yet when people hate us.. don't we wonder why on earth they don't like us.. I mean look how wonderful we are... I think we are often hated just for the God that is within us.. the bible says that light and dark cannot reside in the same place.. so if they are not truly light within.. they are uncomfortable around us...

sin is rampant everywhere.. love has grown cold... worse yet.. these things are accepted.. most sin is said to just be the way someone is... like homosexuality... and we don't really love anyone.. we lust.. I am meaning people in general... we accept all sorts of things as normal now.. look at the things we see on television and think nothing of it.. look at how we dress compared to the past... showing all our business... I am guilty sometimes I know...

 

the one who endures to the end will be saved... I am a runner... I am not someone who holds on... yet God won't let go.. so I endure and hold on now.. like I never have before... I am truly a new creature in Christ...