sins of the father...

Leviticus 26:39 Those of you who are left will waste away in the lands of their enemies because of their sins; also because of their fathers' sins they will waste away. 40 " 'But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers—their treachery against me and their hostility toward me, 41 which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies—then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin,42 I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. 43 For the land will be deserted by them and will enjoy its sabbaths while it lies desolate without them. They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws and abhorred my decrees. 44 Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them or abhor them so as to destroy them completely, breaking my covenant with them. I am the LORD their God. 45 But for their sake I will remember the covenant with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the LORD.' "
Deuteronomy 5:8 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 9 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.

when I was with my kid's father... God told me that he was not for me and that the price paid would be very high... and somehow... all this time.. I thought that I alone paid the cost of my sin... today I find that I am wrong...

my daughter has arthritis... she is is 18, she has had it since she was about 10... my son is bi-polar, adhd, and struggles with a rebellious spirit... I am thinking that the cost of my sin was much higher than I ever realized and has flowed down onto my children... all this time... I thought the cost of the rebellious nature I had was the physical and mental abuse that I suffered... but now... as time has gone on... I am thinking that the illness and sinful tendencies of myself and the kids could also be a cost of my rebellion against my Father...

the scripture tells us to obey your mother and father so that your days will be long in the land... I was not obedient to my Father... He clearly told me that the path I was on was sin and it was not for me... and now... all these years later... realization of the true cost is setting in...

in Leviticus... we are shown the blessing for obedience and the curses for disobedience... we take these things all too lightly... God has not changed His mind nor His consequences... we keep thinking that grace means that we will not pay a price for sin and that is not found ANYWHERE in scripture...

Father the word in Leviticus tells us that if we come before you and confess our sin, that you will be faithful and just to forgive us... and restore us to your covenant... I confess the sins of my disobedience and I ask you to lift this curse of illness and rebelliousness from my children... I ask for your mercy, for your grace and for your restoration of the covenant of blessing... I am believing fully that you will restore not only me, but also my children into your covenant... I humble myself before you.. I submit myself to your will and your ways... and I beg your for restoration of my children's health and covenant... I ask these things in Jesus name... knowing that you will be faithful and command it done... amen.amen.amen.

still sinning...

Romans 3:22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

this morning I was reading a devotional called strength for the journey and the man was talking about Psalms 51. he says that this psalm was written by david after the sin with bathsheba and uriah has been told back to him by nathan the prophet after david tried to cover it all up...

at the bottom of the devotional it suggests to read psalms 51 and while reading it... confess your sin to God... and I sit there and want to say... what sin? strange how I always want to think that I am not sinning... surely... I am sinning in some way in the eyes of God... I mean.. yes, I do my best to be obedient to the will of God... I try very hard to be what God is calling me to be... but the bible says... we ALL fall short... which means.. I am sinning... I must be constantly in my mind covering it up in hopes of righteousness... (yes... I said hopes...)

so... Father... daily... remind me of things I am doing that are unpleasing to you... I don't want to just ask you to cleanse me from unrighteousness and not know what the sin was... I want to be changed... I want to be whole in Your eyes... show me my sins DAILY... in Jesus name I ask... amen.amen.amen.

the heart of a servant...

2 chronicles 25:2 And he did that which was right in the eyes of Jehovah, but not with a perfect heart.

I am reading the Purpose Driven Life and day 34 hit me kinda hard... it was saying that sometimes we will obey what God told us to do... but our heart is not right in the action... or our mind is not the mind of a servant...

sometimes we do things... instead of looking to bring glory to God... trying to bring attention and honor to ourselves... and of course my initial reaction is that I do not do this... but do I....???

a true servant... which are ALL called to be... will do things and never get the recognition or the words of affirmation that we so crave... and yet they will continue to do the work of the Lord... without it... and with a right attitude...

how often do we serve and get angry when our ministry is not raised up... or our name is not raised up... how often can we serve the people of God without any words of affirmation and yet not feel like we are being abused and mistreated...

there is something within us that craves recognition and power... we crave to be lifted among men... we want the pastor to tell everyone how wonderful we are... we want our ministry to shine above all others... and I wonder... is this not the same thing that the archangel Lucifer did... when he wanted to be raised up and given glory because of how awesome his worship and praise ministry to God was...?? was he not bringing glory upon himself...

this is not the heart that God is calling us to have... the heart that God calls us to have is meek and humble... it does not require recognition from man... that is pride... and while I struggle with pride also... I desire to be like Jesus...who was the perfect example of a servant... He did not try to draw attention to Himself... He was willing to wash the feet of the people who were supposed to be serving with Him...

we have a hard time laying down our desires for glory... and it is understandable... as we are born with a sin nature... but the bible tells us that we are to put off the old nature and take up our cross and follow God..

I recently told someone that I don't even know who I am anymore... and that is the truth... I am nothing like who I used to be... even just a year ago... my mind doesn't think the same... my heart doesn't feel the same... God has created in me a new creature in Christ... and I thank Him for it... now don't get me wrong.. I am not pretending that I have arrived... or that I don't struggle with sin and with pride... surely I do... daily... the change in me is that I don't desire to be out of the will of God anymore... I used to want my will above the will of God and now I want the will of God above my own will.. and I am thankful for the changes God has made in me...