Proverbs 2: 5-13

5 Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. 6 Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. 7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. 8 If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. 9 She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown.”
10 My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. 11 I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. 12 When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. 13 Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.

someone said today that wisdom is using the experiences that we learn through our life and the lives of those around us to make the right choices...

for me.. I don't think wisdom is really about life experiences... at least not the physical ones..
in the past.. everything I did was based on what I learned from hard life experiences.. and it made me hard hearted... and mean.. and selfish..

but now.. I use God's will and God's love to direct my paths.. and it may not look like I want it to.. it may not work out to make me overly happy.. but it still will work out to be the right thing..

so I don't think wisdom has anything to do with life... I think it has all to do with God and the leading and promptings of God.. I think it is about doing the God thing even when it doesn't seem like the right thing... I think it is about having faith and purpose and putting God first in our lives.. and keeping Him there... and allowing all the things of this earth... all the desires of this flesh.. to just fall away.. and trust that in His time.. He will satisfy not only our needs.. but our desires too...

Colossians 2: 20

20 The people of the world believe certain basic things. You died with Christ as far as things like that are concerned. So why do you act as if you still belong to the world?

why do we act as if we still belong to the world?.. this is a big question for me.. truly.. I am not easily led by what someone else thinks about me.. but I am finding... that apparently being different is harder for me than I thought... when I gave myself to Christ completely.. He changed my mind and my thinking... and I felt like no one else really understood how I think.. even people in ministry seemed to have some worldly views about some things.. and that threw me off.. and I think that made me think that maybe I am wrong.. maybe I am not supposed to be so different from the world as I had thought... maybe it is not right to be so separated that you think about the things you do before doing them...

so I think I allowed my mind to go back to the world a little bit... and even though I wasn't doing anything physically.. in my mind I think I was thinking things out.. and determining that maybe that is normal.. maybe it just isn't real to live a life so far above the natural mind... so maybe I could concede some things...

I had asked God for clarity in this issue.. and I think today I have received it... I think God is telling me today that what He puts in my heart for me to do may not be what someone else is told to do.. or maybe they are not willing to do it.. maybe they are not willing to completely forsake worldly lifestyles.. but for me.. that IS what He said to me.. that IS what He is expecting from me.. and because He has said it to me.. anything less is sin.. for me.. but it is not for me to tell someone else what their sin is.. and judge them for their actions.. it is for me to do what I am told to do.. and focus on me...

and because God has called me to righteousness and purity.. I need to allow Him to re-cleanse my mind of the thinking of this world.. and live what He is calling me to live.. without looking at how anyone else is living.. as it is none of my business..

Psalms 62: 1-2

1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

if you look up the word "wait" in the bible... there are MANY scriptures attached to it... it seems that no one in the world is exempt from waiting on the Lord.. as much as we want to imagine we are special.. every one of us will wait upon God for something if not many things..

God uses this time of waiting to change us.. to teach us.. to get us to trust Him.. to make us strong and sure... and for all the great things that may come out of waiting.. yet we hate it..

I am determined today to be anxious in waiting upon the Lord's promises.. I can rest assured that He is a God of His word.. He will keep His promises.. He will come through when He is ready.. or when I am ready may be the truth of it.. and daily I will look to God in the morning and say to Him... Father.. if this is the day.. I thank you... and if this is not the day.. still I thank you.. teach me what you will.. change me as you will.. create in me a clean heart and clean hands.. and I am so anxiously awaiting the fulfillment of the promise you have given me... I love you more than anything...

Thankful...

today I look back at the past years of thanksgiving holidays in my life..

when I was young I felt that it was much confusion and disruption.. not realizing I was blessed to have such a large family... not realizing that I had what many people look a lifetime to have... I was raised to be a Christian.. I was in the church since birth.. I was saved by 5years old.. I had been given a vision by 18years old.. (which I refused by the way.. )

I determined to have my own way over God's and by the middle of my twenties I was in an abusive marriage.. fearful every waking moment.. sleeping with a knife under my pillow.. he had nailed windows in the house shut so that I could not get away while he slept... a very frightening life.. every day... never sure what would set it off.. so I just never spoke.. not at all...

now.. God has delivered me from where I was.. I have been given a new family... (as my first one disowned me..over racism and prejudice..)I have a good job.. a wonderful church.. a vision.. (that miraculously is not too far from the original one at 18...)

I am truly grateful... God has been very good to me.. for many years I was rebellious.. like the people of Israel.. and God chose to break me rather than leave me.. and I am so thankful that He did it His way... I have a wonderful life now.. God is truly my focus.. and whatever He does is all right with me...

I pray that each of you will come to the place in your life that you can look back and see all that God saved you from so that you can use that knowledge to know that He has a purpose in your life.. and allow Him to lead you into it...
Happy Thanksgiving...

1 Chronicles 16: 28-36

28 O nations of the world, recognize the Lord, recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong. 29 Give to the Lord the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come into his presence. Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor. 30 Let all the earth tremble before him. The world stands firm and cannot be shaken.

31 Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!” 32 Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise! Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy! 33 Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise, for the Lord is coming to judge the earth.

34 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. 35 Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation! Gather and rescue us from among the nations, so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you.”

36 Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who lives from everlasting to everlasting! And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.

1 Chronicles 16:17-27

17 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant: 18 “I will give you the land of Canaan as your special possession.”
19 He said this when you were few in number, a tiny group of strangers in Canaan. 20 They wandered from nation to nation,
from one kingdom to another. 21 Yet he did not let anyone oppress them. He warned kings on their behalf: 22 “Do not touch my chosen people, and do not hurt my prophets.”
23 Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. 24 Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. 25 Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods. 26 The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens! 27 Honor and majesty surround him;
strength and joy fill his dwelling.

do we really.. way down deep realize how amazing God is... do we recognize His Awesome Greatness...
I think far too often we get caught up in our needs and wants and desires.. we don't really think about and meditate on the greatness of our God.. we instead meditate on what we want or need... if we take 5 minutes a day.. think about the greatness of creation... both outside and with our own bodies.. what amazing things our Lord has done... how intricate the detail of His plans... I think our outlook will change...

He is our protector.. we may not have all we want.. but all that we have done.. the places we have gone.. idk about you.. but I know I could have been laying dead in a grave.. but God chose to cover me and protect me from those who hate me and those who said they loved me.. even though they didn't...

God is most worthy of ALL our praise... we praise man all the time.. when will we ever realize that man would not exist without God... we would not even be here.. if it were not for His greatness.. His love.. His grace.. His mercy...

thank you Father... I do love you so...

1 Chronicles 16: 7-18

7 On that day David gave to Asaph and his fellow Levites this song of thanksgiving to the Lord:
8 Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. 9 Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. 10 Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. 11 Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 12 Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, 13 you children of his servant Israel, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.
14 He is the Lord our God. His justice is seen throughout the land. 15 Remember his covenant forever— the commitment he made to a thousand generations. 16 This is the covenant he made with Abraham and the oath he swore to Isaac. 17 He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree, and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant: 18 “I will give you the land of Canaan as your special possession.”

I am thinking about being thankful.. and how we oftentimes tend to look at what we don't have.. or what God has not done instead of all that He has done.. and I think about David.. and his life.. and David really had some hard times.. yet he continuallly led the people of Israel in praising and thanking God despite the circumstances...

there has to come a time in our own heart when we realize that things may not be as we want them to be.. but I choose to be happy right now.. today.. in this circumstance... I am thankful.. I am blessed.. I am loved by God Almighty... and He has given me promises.. and He has given me a never ending covenant.. and I am so thankful... just that He looks my way... the God of the universe notices me... and that is enough...

Psalms 69: 30-39

30 Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
31 For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle, more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
33 For the Lord hears the cries of the needy; he does not despise his imprisoned people.
34 Praise him, O heaven and earth, the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem and rebuild the towns of Judah. His people will live there and settle in their own land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land, and those who love him will live there in safety.

I have made a decision this morning that all day long I will speak nothing negative (to the best of my ability..) and I will be thankful all day long!! because even if I feel I have reason to be feeling some type of way... someone else has it worse than me...

it was 36degrees here this morning and I woke up thinking how thankful I am to have heat in my house and have a roof over my head.. I am so thankful that God has not allowed me to become homeless or go without work.. I am able to get up on God's grace every single time I fall... God is good ALL THE TIME!!

I am just talking today... and I would say that one of my greatest issues.. one of the things that is truly wrong with me that I need righted is that I do not do well in the dark...

1 Kings 8: 12 Then Solomon prayed, “O Lord, you have said that you would live in a thick cloud of darkness.

the bible tells us that God lives in the darkness.. so we are not alone in it.. I guess because I have always seen ahead that I get distraught when something is not clearly shown... or the path is not lit..

the darkest days I have ever lived in my life were when my kids were very small.. there was no money because their father had a drug and alcohol problem.. some days I did not eat.. but made sure that they did... even if it was just oodles of noodles... all I can remember from that time are rainy and cold days.. I cannot seem to pull up in my mind's eye any sunny days...

but even in those darkest times.. God was with me.. I felt Him.. I knew He was there... I knew He would pull me out.. I didn't know how... but I knew He would...

in this particular time in my life.. everything is dark... not necessarily in the weather.. but in my mind and spirit... I cannot see my hand in front of my face.. I remember what God said when the sun was shining brightly.. but I cannot see it like I can normally see things.. I cannot feel God constantly like I did in the past... now He 'feels' as if He comes and goes...

I trust God... I know that He will pull me out of the darkness and into the light when He is ready... I know this is just another learning experience... but I will admit.. this is one of the darkest times my spirit has ever known...

though He slay me.. yet will I trust Him...

Philippians 2: 1-2

Philippians 2: 1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

isn't it amazing the things that bring division to us... I think that other than lies... division is one of the enemies biggest tools.. sometimes using lies to bring division... we get so caught up in being right or having our own way.. that we miss the goal.. we miss the outcome.. we miss out on what was really important...

Lord please bring unity in our hearts.. help us to learn to lay down our emotions and trust that You will work out all the details... help us to live in unity with everyone...

Psalms 124: 7

Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.

our soul is escaped.. we think of the soul.. it is who we really are.. the one way down inside.. the one that sometimes we don't allow anyone to see.. the one who is weak sometimes... the one who is hurt sometimes... the soul is trapped inside this physical body... and just like the physical body can stop us from moving forward.. sometimes our mind can trap us too... we get trapped inside what we think we are or are not... wouldn't it be the greatest thing to see ourselves.. just once.. just a glimpse.. as God sees us.. to see why He decided we are worth something... to see why He loves us when we know who we really are... He loves us AS we REALLY are...

my 'other woman' was sueann... she is truthfully the real me... (just listen to me for a minute...) the person that I allow everyone to see is this sue.. who has lately become too locked into what she feels is required of me by God.. I was getting trapped in the laws.. I had lost who I was as an individual...

there is a reason we are who we are.. it is our true personality that God will use.. not the fake one that we think He will like.. not the one that fits in at the church or at the job... or wherever we are trying to fit in at... it is the half crazy.. totally messed up one.. that is the one God chooses...

in my own case... while sueann was hardhearted.. and she was rebellious... she was also silly and fun... and touchable... this person I have become... may have all the right actions down... and she may do everything we think we are supposed to.. but she is not real.. she is not touchable.. she is self righteous.. judgemental.. and condemning of others.. thinking that she alone is righteous... willing to point out everyone else's faults.. and not in love either... just in 'the voice of truth'...

while the truth does need to be said sometimes.. it should always be said with the gift of love attached.. with the acceptance in spite of...

so my newest challenge is going to be the death of the church woman.. and the birth of my soul.. without the hard heartedness.. and rebellion.. instead of trying to protect myself I will allow God to be my protector.. and if I get hurt.. then I also know that He will heal me...

this snare is broken... and my soul is going to escape.. to be all that God has called me to be in my own personality...

Deuteronomy 7: 6-15

6 For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure.

for me.. the idea that God considers me a special treasure.. His own special treasure... how awesome is that.. we strive so hard to be accepted and love and considered valuable.. and all along.. God has felt we are His own special treasure...

7 “The Lord did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! 8 Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you, and he was keeping the oath he had sworn to your ancestors. That is why the Lord rescued you with such a strong hand from your slavery and from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh, king of Egypt. 9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. 10 But he does not hesitate to punish and destroy those who reject him. 11 Therefore, you must obey all these commands, decrees, and regulations I am giving you today.

God didn't choose us because we were big and important.. in fact we were the least of all.. it was simply that He loves us and was keeping an oath He swore to our ancestors... I know that my mother prayed for me all my life... imagine that God spoke to people in our families years and years ago.. and promised them to do things for us.. to keep us in covenant with Him.. to prosper us and give us a hope and a future... isn't it amazing to think that people we didn't even know were praying for us.. we should be doing that too.. we should be praying for the generations that are still to come... we should be concerned about their future too..

we need to be obedient and faithful because God is surely still in the consequences business.. even though no one likes to imagine that anymore...

12 “If you listen to these regulations and faithfully obey them, the Lord your God will keep his covenant of unfailing love with you, as he promised with an oath to your ancestors. 13 He will love you and bless you, and he will give you many children. He will give fertility to your land and your animals. When you arrive in the land he swore to give your ancestors, you will have large harvests of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and great herds of cattle, sheep, and goats. 14 You will be blessed above all the nations of the earth. None of your men or women will be childless, and all your livestock will bear young. 15 And the Lord will protect you from all sickness. He will not let you suffer from the terrible diseases you knew in Egypt, but he will inflict them on all your enemies!

there are blessings associated with the obedience to the Lord, just like the consequences for disobedience.. I desire to be on the obedient side... I desire to have open eyes to see when I am doing something that is unpleasing to God.. I desire to do what He asks of me.. I desire to be faithful to Him and He is always faithful to me..

John 14: 23-29

23 Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. 24 Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me. And remember, my words are not my own. What I am telling you is from the Father who sent me. 25 I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. 26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. 28 Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. 29 I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe.

as I read this.. I am thinking of several thoughts... for one thing... look at how much we take the Holy Spirit for granted... can you even remember not having Him? I assure you that I cannot... all of my life I have heard His voice.. felt His leading... imagine living in the times when the only people that spoke to God were the priests... that people didn't really have access to Him the way we do...

even take the example of Mary the mother of Jesus... God didn't come and tell her what was going to happen.. she was sent an angel... who spoke to her... and while that is an awesome and amazing gift to have received... look at us...every day in some way shape or form.. we speak to God and we hear from Him... He doesn't hide Himself from us most times.. we have open access...

the other thought is the idea of the peace of mind and heart... how often do we allow circumstances to invade our peace and our joy... we feel defeated and depressed... we feel upset all the time... for what? really... for what? because things don't go our way? come on now.. how ridiculous is that? we know.. really know that God is going to work everything out.. yet we run in over and over in our minds.. wondering how it could possibly work out.. as if God can't or won't fix it.. and that is just ridiculous... our real issue is the waiting.. not the fearing... we think at the time that it is about things not working out.. but in real life.. we know they will... the issue is the waiting for it to happen... if we can master waiting.. I think we will have accomplished a life changing thing...

Psalms 63

I woke up this morning singing the song.. I got a feeling.. everything's gonna be all right.. be all right.. be all right.. be all right...

Psalms 63
1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land
where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. 3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! 4 I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. 5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. 7 Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.
9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. 10 They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. 11 But the king will rejoice in God. All who trust in him will praise him, while liars will be silenced.

in this psalm.. david said all there is to be said.. in general terms.. he states that God is really all that matters.. I have sat in His presence.. and He is my refuge.. my place of safety no matter what is going on.. I will praise Him ALL THE TIME..

yes.. I still have struggles and trials.. but God is greater than all that I go through.. He will carry me out.. and everything's gonna be all right...