Proverbs 28: 9 God detests the prayers of a person who ignores the law.

it is amazing to me how you can read the bible over and over and over then all at once you see something that seems like you have never read it before... 

I saw this verse in a book by stormie o'martian called the power of a praying life... and I have read it over and over and never really saw it... the words she said with it are 'enable me to live Your way so my prayers are pleasing to You'.. so I look up the scripture to see what it is and this is it... 

imagine God detesting your prayers.. that is very intimidating to me.. yet for much of my life I did not follow the law.. not God's law nor the law of the land.. and I was in the imagination that all was good between me and God... 

every morning I wake and talk to God and ask Him to lead me this day.. to teach me His ways.. to make me the woman He has created me to be... 

I pray that I am pleasing to God.. in Jesus name.. amen!

you know a have a son... who I love dearly.. he has a great heart.. he is silly.. he is fun... 

and he is always in trouble... somehow he just refuses to do what he knows is the right thing.. he is always on the wrong path... 

that does not in any way cause me to love him any less.. or stop me from praying for his change daily... I do pray daily that he will realize that life is fragile and bad choices could cause him to lose his... but I have to trust God with him.. he belongs to God.. not me.. 

if my son were in the wrong place.. at the wrong time.. doing the wrong thing... and he was killed... it would break my heart.. but I would know this was a choice he made... to do the wrong thing... and I could not blame it on the person that caused it... because if he were doing something else.. it probably wouldn't have happened... 

too often we look at someone and decide a tragedy should not have happened... and we look for someone to blame... but all things were allowed by God.. 

my son was raised the same way as my daughter.. he chose a different path.. we have to see our children as they really are.. not as we wanted them to be.. and love them in spite of it... and accept what happens as God's will... because they don't belong to us anyways.. we have no ownership... our job is to love them and teach them of God.. that is all we get... and we should be thankful for that.. 

Proverbs 24: 17Don’t rejoice when your enemies fall; don’t be happy when they stumble. 18For the lord will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them.

I have to say that in the past I was very guilty of being happy when someone I disliked had problems or troubles... I was a terrible person before Jesus.. that is for sure... 

I can say now that I can have compassion on someone even if they are mean or hateful towards me... I can feel sorry for someone that I do not like all that much... 

I am very thankful for all the changes that God has made in me as a person... I am still not good all the time.. that is for sure.. just yesterday I was thinking how ridiculous a particular person was... but then God has to set me aside and let me know that whether I am right in what I see on that person.. or whether I am wrong... all of it is none of my business... so while I am not all that I wish I were.. I am certainly so much better than the hard hearted ruthless person I was in the past and all of it is due to the goodness of God! 

Philippians 2: 14 Do everything without complaining and arguing.

I was sitting at this church function friday night.. and looking at some of these women and whatever the reason... I would look at some women and all these negative thoughts ran through my head.. I look at others and positive thoughts are running through... 

and as I was thinking the negative ones.. I was thinking... what is it that makes me do that? why can't I see in someone... see what God sees.. meaning.. why can't I see something positive in everyone ?? what is it that makes me look at someone with negativity? 

now I am not even talking about people I have had a negative experience with.. I am thinking this is about jealousies toward others... maybe not wanting something they have.. maybe not even thinking they are better than me.. more like it causes me to look at me and feel I am maybe not enough........................

that is an ugly ugly feeling.. to feel you are not enough.... 

in the one version the scripture above said do things without disputing.. (rather than arguing) and I thought.. why do I do that? why do I dispute everything some people say... why can't I just keep my mouth shut and go along with things... even if they are wrong.. why do I feel the need to point it out.. let them see things on their own... 

I have decided these are two areas of myself I am not happy with and I want to work to change about me... to stop disputing everything someone says.. and to stop thinking negative thoughts of other women... 

Psalms 34: 17  The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. 18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

sometimes when I had a harder life than I now have.. I would read the bible and wonder why God didn't seem to rescue me.. why my heart was allowed to be broken.. why He wasn't rescuing my crushed spirit... 

but today... I realize.. much of my issues were my own... 

I wanted to live as I wanted to live.. I wanted God to be around when it was convenient and I wanted Him to turn the other direction when I wanted to do things that didn't go along with His way or His will... 

I believe that even though we follow God completely we will still have trials.. we will still be hurt and upset sometimes... our spirits will get crushed.. but the difference for me is me... now.. I don't look at God as someone to do what I want.. to give me what I want... instead.. I look to Him as my Father.. and I realize that every day won't be a good day.. people will be jerks sometimes.. I will be a jerk sometimes.. and some days I will get reprimanded by my Father.. but none of those things separate me from Him.. none of those things mean He doesn't love me... 

I can honestly say God has matured me.. and made me a better person than who I was on my own... and I am thankful!

Isaiah 57: Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. 2  For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die.

I know that my thinking of death is different than most people.. I don't see death as a bad thing.. more of just a transition of one place to another... I have always felt this way.. 

and while I may miss someone once they are gone.. I still haven't grieved most times the way many people do... 

this verse seems to explain to me that sometimes it is God protecting someone from evil that might have happened.. that is something that should make us all feel better about someone dying before they are old... idk about you but I would choose to protect everyone from evil if I had the opportunity rather than allow them to live and suffer from things that would come... 

we are always so determined to hold on to life as best we can.. I can never figure out why we do that.. most people are not exceptionally happy in life anyways.. we are such contradictory creatures... 

Genesis 4: 2 When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd, while Cain cultivated the ground. 3 When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, 5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

6 “Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

8 One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him. 9 Afterward the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?” “I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?” 10 But the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! 11 Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. 12 No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.”

13 Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment is too great for me to bear! 14 You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!” 15 The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. 16 So Cain left the Lord’s presence and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

the story of cain and abel is always amazing to me... always things I can't comprehend or accept in it... 

beginning with the sacrifice... did cain even know that his sacrifice would be considered wrong when he gave it to God? how often is what we sacrifice and imagine to be accepted never really accepted by God? do we ever find out that it wasn't? 

cain killing his brother over him being accepted while cain was not is sad but is so often the truth of our world... we outcast or just completely want rid of those who make us feel less than them.. of course we never really want to talk about feeling like that... even though it is truth... 

then God makes cain a homeless wanderer... that part by itself is bad enough... then He also casts him out from His presence... if we cannot be in the presence of the Lord, is life even worth living at that point? I am not sure I would say it would be for me... here cain is worrying about being killed by someone.. all I would be worried about it God having left me... 

Genesis 5: 21 When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and he had other sons and daughters. 23 Enoch lived 365 years, 24 walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him.

the first thing I notice in this small passage... and in the ones surrounding it... is that with each of the men mentioned.. it tells their age when they have the first child and the name of the first son.. after that it is only told that they had other sons and daughters... 

idk if that is because the first son is the one that passes on the name.. or if he is the only one that is talked about... is it to show us the significance of the first born son? I really am not sure what the reason is behind it.. when it comes to noah though, it give the name of three sons... 

Enoch was the only man other than Elijah that didn't die and was taken up into the heavens by God... for me personally... that tells me that they lived an exceptional life in God's eyes... David had a heart like God's own heart and yet he was not taken up into the heavens without death... 

that is amazing in many ways... first of all.. how would someone in a physical body live in the heavens? what would your life be like in order for God to think so much of you that He didn't want you to experience death... about Enoch it states that he walked with God.. didn't Adam also walk with God in the evenings?

clearly I don't have any answers.. I just wonder what it is that draws God to one person above another... we will never know the answer to that or at least not until we see Him face to face... 

Proverbs 19:14 14Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the lord can give an understanding wife.

I saw this as a response of what I was talking about yesterday...  we need to make the right choices.. we need to choose someone who puts God first in their life.. someone who can manage whatever amount of money they are blessed with... and someone who treats us with respect...

that is our responsibility..

but in truth.. we still don't know what type of spouse that person will be... we know that people don't show who they really are for a long time... so while they look good on the inside.. they could be very ugly on the inside.. everything we see might actually be a show.. just to get us to commit to them... 

but if we have peace that God has given us this person.. that this is the spouse of His choice... then the rest is up to Him... and it is His choice to give us someone who is clean and right on the inside... not perfect.. but good.. deep down within... 

almost every time I have talked to a man.. I have heard God tell me no... for me to continue to talk to that person.. which I usually did.. was insanity... that is one lesson I have learned for certain.. the day I hear God say no.. that is the day I am done entertaining the idea that I may be with this person... now I may still talk to them.. maybe even go out to dinner.. but inside.. I know I am done.. and I am sure that on the outside it is clear too... I can be your friend after that.. but all thoughts of relationship are gone.. 

so I will do my part.. and I will trust God to do His... 

so I am driving to work... and I realize... the enemy has used women to destroy the family... now we don't see it like this.. and we don't want to hear that.. but it is true.. it started long ago with the whole women's rights movement.. not that I don't believe women should have rights.. I do.. but when we fought for that.. we got to believing that we are 'equal.. meaning the same as' a man.. and that is not biblical... so because we are equal.. we decided we don't need a man.. and we divorced them.. we all know men 90% of the time will not leave a marriage.. the women leave them.. tired of whatever they are putting up with... 

now don't imagine that I feel this means we should have to deal with a bunch of mess all the time.. but I think when we marry the wrong man.. that is just the result... I think at that point.. when abuse is not involved.. then we need to decide to work through more things than what we are willing to work through.. and in this I believe we as women will be changed to be more loving... more caring... less selfish.. which is really what I believe God created a woman to be... 

I believe in God's eyes it is the woman that holds the family together.. while the man is supposed to be the head.. he cannot be who he needs to be without a strong woman supporting him.. men tend to be very insecure even when they aren't someone who shows insecurity.. so he may be the head.. but she is the backbone of the family and of the marriage.. 

so I really believe that through women's rights.. we have destroyed the family... we want equal rights when it is convenient... we have given up being stay at home mothers.. we have given up having our doors opened.. we have given up having a man pay for our dinner.. we have done all these things under the illusion of women's rights... 

me personally.. I would go back to the time when a woman's job would only consist of being a secretary in order to be protected and loved by a man.. which was God's plan I believe.. men abused the power.. and we abused the rights... now everyone is separate... and again.. the woman has given the fruit of the enemy to the man... 

Psalms 106: 14 In the wilderness their desires ran wild, testing God’s patience in that dry wasteland. 15  So he gave them what they asked for, but he sent a plague along with it.

I admit that in the wilderness my desires run wild.... 

sometimes it feels like when we do the right thing for a long time that we start to feel we deserve more or better or even just different..

I find this to be true in life with doing right financially.. sexually.. even in my eating habits... after I do the right thing for a long time I imagine if I give in and just satisfy these crazy desires for a little while... then I will be 'better' than right now... and the truth is that I never am... if I look at it from my finances.. it just sets me back a little more from the goal... if I were to do it in my sexual purity I am sure at this point that I would be horrified after the fact... and even with eating.. if I eat the wrong things for a few days in a row I start to feel sluggish and just icky.... 

I wondered about God sending them a plague to go along with what they really thought they wanted... and I know that I do NOT want anything so badly that I am willing to risk a plague to go along with it... and yet here we are.. time after time we fall short and do the wrong thing make the wrong choice and have to start again... 

the good news is... that even though we are so much like the israelites and we fall time and again... God is always willing to help us back up.. there is none like Him... and I am so thankful for His mercy and grace and love... 

Psalms 106: 12 Then they believed his promises and sang his praise. 13 But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his plan to unfold. 

14  In the desert they gave in to their craving; in the wilderness they put God to the test. 15  So he gave them what they asked for, but sent a wasting disease among them. 16  In the camp they grew envious of Moses and of Aaron, who was consecrated to the Lord. 17  The earth opened up and swallowed Dathan; it buried the company of Abiram. 18  Fire blazed among their followers; a flame consumed the wicked. 19  At Horeb they made a calf and worshiped an idol cast from metal. 20  They exchanged their glorious God for an image of a bull, which eats grass. 21  They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt, 22  miracles in the land of Ham and awesome deeds by the Red Sea. 23  So he said he would destroy them— had not Moses, his chosen one, stood in the breach before him to keep his wrath from destroying them. 24  Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe his promise.

dear God... please let me never cease in waiting for YOUR plan to unfold... let me not give in to my own desires but instead be steadfast and unmoveable.. seeking only Your will.. amen.

often I do not hear God say yes or this is right.. but I ALWAYS hear when something is a no.. I need to be sure to avoid the NO's of this life.. and wait on God for His YES... 

that is my heart's desire... above what I think I like... 

so I was reading a devotional just now and it was saying the bible is always warning us not to allow a door open to the enemy... then it said anxiety and anger are open doors...

I thought about this.. you know normally I don't worry too much about too much... lately I have been anxious about finances... I need to get some things caught up... and for some reason it is making me anxious... where previously it wouldn't have.. and I have prayed several times over and given it to God and yet.. if I allow myself to think about it.. then I again become anxious.. 

I have had anger in the past to become an open door to the enemy... it is amazing how he can seep in and we never even realized it.. he causes us to have negative thoughts when we are striving for peace and positive thoughts... 

Ecclesiastes 1: 16 I said to myself, “Look, I am wiser than any of the kings who ruled in Jerusalem before me. I have greater wisdom and knowledge than any of them.” 17 So I set out to learn everything from wisdom to madness and folly. But I learned firsthand that pursuing all this is like chasing the wind. 18 The greater my wisdom, the greater my grief.  To increase knowledge only increases sorrow.

I was reading this and wondering why he felt it increased his sorrow to gain knowledge.. 

I wonder if it is because when he gained knowledge.. it was not knowledge of God.. but instead knowledge of man and of the world's ways... 

any time our focus comes off of the greatness of God.. and is set on what we deal with or what we don't have.. then we become depressed or we become miserable...

if we are gaining knowledge of God.. knowledge of who He is.. what His character is... we are just getting better.. not sorrowful... if we spend our time in learning of God.. He makes us more like Him.. reading the word of God.. knowing His ways.. these things have brought me joy that no one can take from me... they have given me true life.. life that is not based on this body or this world.. life in my spirit and my soul...  

my own experience is this world will make us unhappy.. the only thing that can truly make us happy is to live our lives for God rather than man... to live to please Him... 

the older solomon got.. the more he became like this world.. he slowly became less like God and more like his surroundings... and as he got older he became more and more miserable.. in my own life.. the older I have gotten.. the more of myself I have given over to God and the happier I have become.. I am happier today than I have ever been before in my life... I believe this is all due to God... 

we will never make people happy no matter what we do.. but God is already pleased with you.. God already loves you.. even when you are all jacked up... so why do we care what people think to begin with... wake up each day determined to live to please the God who already loves you rather than the people working on loving you... 

Isaiah 53: 2  My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. 3  He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. 4  Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5  But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6  All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. 7  He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8  Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. 9 He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave. 10  But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief.

I don't often read about or even think about what Jesus life was really like... 

instead I think about how great He was... about the miracles.. about the crowds following Him and loving Him... and about Him bringing salvation to the world... 

I don't often recognize that His entire life was given for me.. I have often looked at it as though it was only the last few months of His life that He was mistreated and unloved... but I wonder.. was it His entire life? was He rejected and abused and treated badly throughout His life for me? 

He gave up all dreams and desires that He had so that I could be saved.. when I read that He died with no descendants... I was struck... He chose to give up the idea of love and family that I might be saved this 2,000+ years later... now that is really a living sacrifice... 

what is it God is calling you to sacrifice for His glory and His plan so that you too can be used to save lives? and are you willing to give up what you want and desire to acheive His plan above your own?

Job 42: 7 After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me, as my servant Job has. 8 So take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer on your behalf. I will not treat you as you deserve, for you have not spoken accurately about me, as my servant Job has.” 9 So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite did as the Lord commanded them, and the Lord accepted Job’s prayer. 10 When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! 

12 So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. For now he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 teams of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. 13 He also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters.

all throughout Job's trial and troubles the so called friends told him he has to have sinned.. that he had to have made God mad.. that God isn't going to just strip someone of everything if they were not in the wrong... while Job kept saying that he didn't know why God was putting him through this, he also said that he was not living in sin... the friends continued to be determined that he was... 

we see in this scripture in v10 that when Job prayed for those who kept condemning him.. that is when he was restored... 

it is hard to pray for those who talk badly about you.. those who refuse to see the good in you.. those who say they are our friends but show us something else.. yet that is what restored him... 

I wonder how often we withhold the good God would do for us because we refuse to pray for those who do us wrong... I find that in praying for those who are against me, that is where I see some type of good in them.. that is when I am able to let go of what they have done to me and give them to God and pray He will be good to them... 

I am not talking about scripture this morning.. more about life's lessons and circumstances... 

in my sleep last night I hear this question: if you could go back and start over.. what would you change? what point would you restart from?

my first thought is the abusive ex... but if I restarted without that.. I would not have my kids.. so I determine I wouldn't redo that...

next thought would be the man I loved that committed suicide.. but that was used to help soften me I believe.. to get me to begin to overcome the hard heart I had developed.. so I wouldn't redo that... 

if I could restart from any point.. it would be about 6yrs ago when I allowed someone to be too close to me... I would have handled that situation completely differently.. but again.. I have changed tremendously in the last 7yrs so even though it was a negative.. it was also used for the good... 

so in thinking about all this... what I really learn is that I recognize that even when situations are bad or hard.. I can trust God to work them out in a way that makes me a better person.. and all of the situations have worked in a way that has made me who I am.. and I don't want to return to the bitter and angry woman that I was previously... 

so I am very thankful for all that I have gone through.. much of it my own fault... be even if not.. still I am thankful for the outcome and who I now have become..

Jeremiah 32: 6 At that time the Lord sent me a message. He said, 7 “Your cousin Hanamel son of Shallum will come and say to you, ‘Buy my field at Anathoth. By law you have the right to buy it before it is offered to anyone else.’”

8 Then, just as the Lord had said he would, my cousin Hanamel came and visited me in the prison. He said, “Please buy my field at Anathoth in the land of Benjamin. By law you have the right to buy it before it is offered to anyone else, so buy it for yourself.” Then I knew that the message I had heard was from the Lord.

you know I have seen many things I believed God told me come to pass... yet I am not sure many times.. and the longer it takes for something to happen.. the more unsure I get... 

this scripture happens in chapter 32 of Jeremiah.. he has been out proclaiming to the people for YEARS what God has said to him... he has been made fun of.. he has been outcast.. he has been beaten and imprisoned... 

you would think that he was very sure that it was God speaking... but here we are at chapter 32 and he gets a message he says is from the Lord.. but after it happens then he states.. then I knew that the message I heard was from the Lord... 

this gave me a lot of peace... even Jeremiah... after a long time of proclaiming what God has said to him... still he was not sure.. but just had to speak what he believed was God and wait to see it happen before he was sure... 

thank you Lord for showing me that I am not the only one who gets unsure and insecure about what I believe you have said... 

Psalms 64: 1  O God, listen to my complaint. Protect my life from my enemies’ threats. 2 Hide me from the plots of this evil mob, from this gang of wrongdoers. 3  They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows. 4  They shoot from ambush at the innocent, attacking suddenly and fearlessly. 5  They encourage each other to do evil and plan how to set their traps in secret. “Who will ever notice?” they ask. 6  As they plot their crimes, they say, “We have devised the perfect plan!” Yes, the human heart and mind are cunning. 

7  But God himself will shoot them with his arrows, suddenly striking them down. 8  Their own tongues will ruin them, and all who see them will shake their heads in scorn. 9  Then everyone will be afraid; they will proclaim the mighty acts of God and realize all the amazing things he does. 10  The godly will rejoice in the Lord and find shelter in him. And those who do what is right will praise him.

I have been reading through one psalm every day with a devotional I am reading... the psalms to me sound often like the same thing over and over again so I have a hard time reading them in order... 

this morning as I am reading something clicks for me... 

I often wonder what it is that God loved so much about david.. he did not look like all that great of a man to me from his actions... which tells me that what I think makes someone a good person and what God thinks makes someone a good person are two entirely different things... 

so this morning I see.. while david complained about people in almost every single psalm.... much like me complaining to God every day... the difference is... at the end of every psalm... he changed from complaining to talking about God and His greatness... 

and that is something I do not do... while I think God is great... while I think He is the greatest part of my life........ if I am not saying it to Him.. and all He is getting from me is complaints about what is wrong.. rather than all that is right... then I do not have a very good heart now do I?.......... 

today I am going to challenge myself to write a psalm of my own every day for 10 days... I am going to possibly start out complaining.. but the real intention is to instead talk about the value of God in my life.. and that I really do recognize it...