2 kings 2: 9 When they came to the other side, Elijah said to Elisha, “Tell me what I can do for you before I am taken away.” And Elisha replied, “Please let me inherit a double share of your spirit and become your successor.”

10 “You have asked a difficult thing,” Elijah replied. “If you see me when I am taken from you, then you will get your request. But if not, then you won’t.”

​ ​

11 As they were walking along and talking, suddenly a chariot of fire appeared, drawn by horses of fire. It drove between the two men, separating them, and Elijah was carried by a whirlwind into heaven. 12 Elisha saw it and cried out, “My father! My father! I see the chariots and charioteers of Israel!” And as they disappeared from sight, Elisha tore his clothes in distress.

​usually we would look at this and think that it is not for Elisha to ask to be Elijah's successor.. we would look at it as if this is pride.. now I know that he was already ​told by God and Elijah that he would be the one to take Elijah's place.. 

sometimes God will tell us something great about ourself and our future and we accept it.. are happy for it.. and then comes this horrific lesson of humbling us.. so that we know it has nothing to do with our own greatness but all about God's greatness.. 

surely this is what Joseph dealt with where his brothers were concerned.. they didn't believe his dreams.. they were thinking he was saying he was better than them... really he was just saying what God had said to him... 

it is very hard to know what to tell to who.. it is hard to know what is God's will and what is our will when they become the same thing.. what I have learned is that we just need to go forward every day.. right where we are.. and God will open the road before us.. that is what I am believing.. 

Psalms 132: 13 For the Lord has chosen Jerusalem; he has desired it for his home. 14 “This is my resting place forever,” he said. “I will live here, for this is the home I desired. 15 I will bless this city and make it prosperous; I will satisfy its poor with food. 16 I will clothe its priests with godliness; its faithful servants will sing for joy. 17 Here I will increase the power of David; my anointed one will be a light for my people. 18 I will clothe his enemies with shame, but he will be a glorious king.”

this is what God proclaims about Jerusalem and the descendants of david.. on the throne but surely after they were taken from the throne too.. 

but we look at Jerusalem and see all the turmoil... look at all the horrific things that have happened to the Israelites.. and still is happening today.. yet some how we think we should never have attrocities happen to us and our nation.. and we are surely not living by the ways of God as a nation in general... 

only God has the power of life and death.. no one can do anything God did not allow.. that is such a hard reality for some people.. to think that God allows terrible things to happen.. but He does.. it is all through the bible.. look at what His own Son lived and died.. and that was a horrific agonizing death.. and we try to sugarcoat it and say He died FOR us.. regardless of that being truth.. it was a horrific death.. and horribly painful... and God allowed it.. even planned it out that way... 

terrible things do not mean God is not in control... maybe He is trying to teach us something about ourselves instead of always looking for what it is saying about someone else.. Maybe we should be looking within.. 

1 Kings 11: Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. 2 The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. 3 He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.

thinking... 

so God is telling men and women not to be with multiple people and surely not to be with people who don't follow His ways... saying that it will turn our hearts from being loyal to Him... 

now I completely agree with this!! I have seen it in my own life.. not that I have been with 100 men or anything.. but any man I have been with got between me and God.. so I would say to some extent it turned my heart from Him.. now of course I will never leave God over a man.. that is certain.. but it does cause issues... 

then I think about men.. most of the men I have known in my life have not been faithful to one woman.. this does not mean it is not possible.. I believe some are.. but I think it seems to be very rare... and in them being with multiple women (at the same time too.. I could never do that) they imagine this will not affect their relationship with God.. but I think it does.. and I think it doesn't matter how committed you are to God.. it still gets in the way.. not necessarily pulling you completely from God.. but it blocks your hearing and your keeping God first in our lives... that is a battle with one significant other.. imagine more than one person being 'intimate' with you at a time... 

so often.. we read the bible and can't really hear what God is saying because it is not what we want to hear... sadly.. 

Romans 15: 5-6 May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I think I have grown as a person of patience and encouragement.. I have even grown in harmony with others.. while people may annoy me sometimes.. I rarely will give someone enough thought space to get real live mad about them.. 

but I am thinking.. could you imagine how wonderful it could be if we would all live in harmony and encourage one another and with one voice give praise and glory to God... that would be an amazing day............

2 Samuel 22: David sang this song to the Lord on the day the Lord rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul. 2 He sang: “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; 3 my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. 4  I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. 5  “The waves of death overwhelmed me; floods of destruction swept over me. 6  The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. 7 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.

I was reading this scripture and I think... so often people say how their life falls apart after they get saved.. they get all these problems and stuff... and I think about my own life.. I had A LOT of drama and problems before I gave God 100% of my life.. and since I have.. problems have melted away.. now lets not imagine that the occasional issue doesn't arise.. surely it does.. actually today at work I have been very stressed out because I am making important people mad completely without meaning to.... 

but that is nothing compared to what I have lived in the past... 

I was reading earlier in scripture that God provides for us.. now that is TRULY my reality!! praise the Lord!! but what about people who really are homeless.. or have no food or clothing.. can't get a job... does this mean God is not providing for them? does it mean He doesn't love them? I don't believe so.. 

if there is one thing I have learned since giving God my all it is that I am no more special than everyone else.. although I previously had that illusion! now I know that God loves us all.. 

so why do some people have these terrible things? have I already lived enough terrible that God decided it was time for me to have a life of peace? I pray that is true... 

what I do know for sure is that God is good regardless of what I have or what I see... I am so thankful for the life He has given me I don't even have the words to exclaim it properly!! 

I pray your life is good like mine is.. I pray that you focus on what you do have rather than what you don't have.. I pray that you see things from the positive rather than the negative.. I pray that you give God 100%.. it has truly changed me and my life.. 

Isaiah 50:4 The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.

​I admit.. some days this is my reality.. some days I wake up with understanding of what God desires from me.. of what His plans for me are.. but other days.. I got nothing.......... and that is really frustrating.. I think for the most part.. I am looking for God to reassure me every day that He has my life in His hands.. that I will be good because He is good to me.. but God doesn't work like that.. He wants me to just be satisfied to seek Him.. to just sit in silence before Him most days.. to just be comfortable with Him.. to just love Him.. no matter what.. that is what I am striving for right now in my life.. to just live every day.. just that day... not the weeks and months and years that haven't happened yet.. and also not re-living the good or bad that has already happened.. 

just today.. I am happy.. I am whole.. and in Jesus name.. I will be tomorrow too.. ​

Hebrews 6: 10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

sometimes I feel like God doesn't see me.. I am sure this is not just something I go through... I believe everyone feels forgotten on some days... sometimes the waiting is too long... sometimes we can't get out of a pit we feel we are in... sometimes God does not give us release to just walk away from something.. so we are stuck.. and we feel we are forgotten... 

on those days... look to the promises of God... He promises that just as He spoke once.. He will speak to you again.. He will not forget you... He will be faithful even if we have not... 

thank you Lord.. for your remembering me.. I love you more than words can say...