James 3: 13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. 17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

I cannot imagine who would call themselves wise... I mean really.. we make a fool of ourselves daily... unintentionally.. but daily... so to call yourself wise would be pretty much amazing and stupid in my thoughts...

I try to live an honorable life.. I try to do good works... but I have to say... jealousy is sometimes an issue for me... not jealousy meaning I want what is someone else's... I just don't want someone to touch what is mine... and if they act like they have or they still are.. then that makes me really upset... I think the reason it upsets me is because I am insecure.. I have not been an insecure person in the past.. I have always thought I was the best anyone could get... while God has torn down my pride.. it has made me insecure.. I don't think that was supposed to have happened.. I think my confidence was to be changed from being in myself to being confident in Christ and His promises to me.. but whatever the reason.. I don't have that much confidence in that... I seem to desire approval and constant reassurance.. God is really not much for giving something over and over.. He expects us to trust Him... (not one of my strong points...) it also states that these things are demonic and they create disorder and evil.. well I am in agreement about that! I desire to keep my peace.. yet jealousy or insecurity brings disorder and upset...

wisdom from above is pure... it is loving and gentle.. willing to yield to others.. full of mercy and good deeds.. always showing no favoritism and is always sincere... I gotta tell you... this is good in writing but not so much in reality... I am not always loving and gentle.. although I am striving to be there.. I would say I am more often than ever before... willing to yield to others.. I don't care who you are.. giving up your will is a daily challenge! I can do the mercy and good deeds for the most part.. I am sincere.. even if you sincerely don't want to hear me.. LOL... I do show favoritism to people with a good spirit over those with a bad one... it is not intentional.. I just struggle to be around those with a bad spirit...

the scriptures are hard sometimes... we struggle to be who God wants us to be... but it is a constant battle.. a war within us between what feels good or protects us.. to what God wants us to do... I desire to do God's will.. but it is surely a battle... I am better than I used to be.. but it is surely a daily battle... thankfully my desire is to do God's will...