Philippians 3: 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

I have to tell you.. I do not want to share in Christ's death.. I do not want to suffer with Him.. I would like to experience resurrection from dead situations.. but I don't really want to go through the death and suffering to get there...

I think we are formed.. we decide who we want to be.. what we want to do.. where we want to go... and most of it is not God's plan for us... then when we become saved and start seeking God.. and He starts to cut away what we thought we wanted to be.. He smashes down our flesh and makes us soft and pliable.. He makes us in His image... and it is a painful process...

it would be nice if things would be easy and painless.. but that is just not the truth of it..

sometimes I think it is the painful changing that causes us to give up and go back to the old ways.. I am sure that has been the truth of me in the past.. that is why I could never get anywhere.. why the changes I made turned right back into my old habits... I had no endurance... I did not stand true to God.. I was more worried about what I felt like and what I wanted than to remain faithful..

there is a big difference in faith and faithfulness.. many times we have faith.. we believe God will do what He said.. but we do not stay faithful to Him... we don't remain in Him... I want to be found faithful.. I want to have endurance to last and see the will of God for my life.. to stop getting distracted and sidetracked.. I want to be faithful to the only One who has been faithful to me..