self control...

2 Peter 1: 5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

I think I am being taught self control... I think I am not very good at it..

in the past... I was very strong willed... and so I would do exactly what I said I would... even when it hurt me badly... if I said I was done with you... I was really done... even if I didn't want to be.. if I said I was going to lose 10lbs.. I really lost them.. even if it meant half starving or working myself to death in the gym...

but strong willed is NOT the same thing as self controlled... in my new life.. where I have given God my will.. I struggle to control my desire for chocolate.. I seem to have become somewhat lazy... and these are not good attributes to have...

Proverbs 5: 22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. 23 He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

self control is one of the fruit of the Spirit... apparently.. I have self control in some areas and not in others... many days.. I think of renewing my relationship with Jack Daniels.. yet I resist this... I would really like to be sexually satisfied at every given moment... I definitely resist that one... I desire sometimes to smack someone in the head... yet I do not do it...

I want to eat what I want to eat.. and many days I do fall into it... I need to run my vaccum more often than once a week.. yet I let it go.. I need to mop my floors weekly.. yet sometimes I don't..

it seems.. the things.. I didn't struggle with when I was worldly.. I struggle with now... but the things I failed at when in the world.. I don't fail at now... hmmm.. wondering what that means...

maybe.. I have more self control now.. than I did when I was strong willed.. maybe.. what I don't have now is the strong will.. which might be good.. because I was supposed to give my will up to God's will anyways...