Job 23: 10-17

10 “But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.
11 For I have stayed on God’s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from his commands, but have treasured his words more than daily food.
13 But once he has made his decision, who can change his mind? Whatever he wants to do, he does.
14 So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.
15 No wonder I am so terrified in his presence. When I think of it, terror grips me.
16 God has made me sick at heart; the Almighty has terrified me.
17 Darkness is all around me; thick, impenetrable darkness is everywhere.

God knows where I am going... well thank God for that.. as many days I am unsure!! when He tests me I shall come out as gold.. that of course is my desire.. but somedays I am unsure.... somedays I feel like maybe I have fallen too far off the path... too far out of the way I was supposed to go... and so maybe I will never be all that His plan was for me... Job is able to say that he has stayed on Gods paths and has not departed from God's commands... I am unable to say that... I have departed from them many times over...

but... then it says... once He has made His decision.. who can change His mind... so.. maybe... as He knew me from the end of my life to the beginning... maybe as He already knew I was going to screw up this badly... maybe.. He won't change His mind about the wonderful promises He has given me... this scripture says that He controls my destiny... (these are my issues with free will...) so while I fall... while I screw up... He already knew it... and He had it under control from the beginning... He controls my ending... my middle.. and my beginning... so maybe that is some people's problems... God controlled your destiny and yet you were sick.. or you were abused.. or you were hurt... and none of this by your own hand... maybe by the hand of God... so... why would He do such a thing? why would He allow it.. as He is the one in control... all things work together for our good... if I had not been raised prejudiced... I would not now be so fervently against it... if I had not been abused by a man who should have protected me... maybe I would never have understand why women don't leave.. or why they choose the same man over and over in a different body... these tragedies have made me who I am and they have molded my thinking... so now.. I can understand someone else... and while I can't change someone's situation sometimes... I can feel your pain... I can feel your fear... I can feel your distrust...

then Job says he fears God... as we all should... too many of us do not have the right reverence and fear of the Lord.. we feel He is our best friend.. our road dog... and He is.. yet He is God... above all else... He is God Almighty... while He comes down to our level so that we can get to know Him and understand His love for us... we also must show Him the utmost respect... because He is the Great I AM.... and He could wipe us out with a slight thought... so we really need to respect Him... worship Him... love Him... praise Him...