keeping God first...

I think I had a revelation about myself last night...
I was watching a preacher on tv.. the teaching was about keeping God first in our lives...
now in the past this had not really ever been a struggle for me.. I have never really liked anyone or anything long enough to have them compete with God... never missed church to be up under some man... whatever it may be... nothing ever really consumed my thoughts before...

so then God gives me this kingdom assignment... and tells me in detail all the things that I am to be doing in relation to this assignment... this purpose He has given me... and you get excited about it.. you find creative ways to enhance this ministry... so then.. you sometimes get your focus off the reason for the ministry.. and onto the ministry... you begin to love this purpose and this ministry God has given you... thinking about it often.. planning out things to do to make it better...

and I knew I had been struggling with balancing love for this purpose with the greater love for God... I was still spending time alone with God... still in prayer and meditation with Him... but I struggled keeping Him at the top...

then this preacher last night says... we are created to worship.. if we are not worshipping God.. trust and believe you are worshipping something else... AND... in worship.. you are sacrificing something... like when they sacrificed the animals... so... something is being burned up... something is being consumed... and in the perfect world.. it should be self... we should be sacrificing self.. giving it to God and allowing Him to consume it... BUT.. if we have something else in front of God... then that thing.. whatever it is.. will be destroyed... and that is the reason so many relationships don't work out.. or a ministry loses is fire or its life changing power... it got sacrificed....

well.. this became distressing to me QUICK... I don't want to lose this ministry.. this purpose... I want to love God the most... in real life.. i realize that He has been the only real relationship I ever had... I don't want separation between me and God... I WANT Him to keep my worship.. keep my love.. keep my devotion.. so how do you keep Him first and love something else oh so much???

my daughter's sister gave me the answer.. you keep God first by realizing that you are doing this for HIM... not for the other people you are helping... this assignment is really an extention of my love for God.. not my love for people... and that is also how you stay when you are not feeling the people so much... you realize at all times that this is not about you.. not about helping others.. in truth it is about bringing glory to God...

this is truth in ministry.. in our jobs... in our families... in our relationships.. our entire life... all that we are is really for God... keep focused on God being the reason for the purpose...