this is based on judges 17-18... there is a man whose mother has some idols made in his honor to worship as if they are worshipping God... so the man has idols in his house.. he hires a priest to be his personal priest.. a levite... and twice in the scripture it states that in those days there was no king and the people did whatever they felt was right...

so I am thinking... it was odd to me that they don't just follow the law of Moses at this time.. I find it odd that they felt they needed a king to lead them... I find it odd that they substitute a king with a priest... yet often that seems to be biblically God's choice... I did not have a good example of leadership in my lifetime.. my father was moody and miserable.. he did not talk at all.. he was a very depressed man... he didn't lead us anywhere.. of course my kids' dad was a horrendous and non existant leader... so because of these examples I have led my family... at the time I felt I did a pretty good job.. but in retrospect I find that I did not... even now... I am following what I believe God would have me to do.. but I often wonder if I am in the right direction...

the bible tells us that a man is the head.. period... I think we often turn into leaders because of circumstance and situation.. because of control issues.. because we like power.. but biblically.. a woman is to have a head... I wonder sometimes if the more I submit my own will to God's... is this when I am becoming less of a leader... and more willing to accept having a head in my life...

this doesn't mean I think I have lost my skills as a leader.. I am still an organized person and well able to run a ministry.. but now.. I prefer to have someone else above me... someone I can talk things over with.. someone to give me their ideas and thoughts about how things could be done differently.. I used to not be open to hearing anything from anyone.. now I welcome another persons side of something...

I am looking forward to having a king in my house.. to me stepping down and being satisfied.. even happy to just be the queen God created me to be..