Psalms 90: 10 Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.

this evening.. as I have this nerve pain in my back again.. I guess in my subconcious I must have been saying that I thought this pain was going to be over with... and I clearly hear God say to me.. "I have not promised that you will not have pain... "

well... I gotta tell you.. I was somewhat really hoping for no pain.. no physical pain.. no emotional pain.. no pain at all.. and I am reminded.. I am not ever going to have a perfect life.. wouldn't it be wonderful if we could decide exactly what our pain would be and how it would come.. how heavy it would be.. where it would be at.. who would and would not cause us pain... I was accepting the "there will be trials and tribulations in this life" but I really could have done without the pain...

I realize.. we often desire to be god of our lives.. at least I do..
if I were able to choose all this.. what does and does not happen.. what I do and do not go through.. then I would be like God.. and that just is not my role.. so I have to adjust and accept what it is that He feels I need to go through or not go through.. and realize that He tailor made all of our pain and troubles for us individually... we can look at someone else's trouble and think we would like to trade.. LOL.. at least I can do that.. but either their life would be too heavy or too light.. God intentionally chooses our battles.. our victories.. I think even our losses... they are designed to shape and mold us into who we need to be..

we need to become thankful for the pain and the burdens rather than trying to get out from under them.. maybe ask God what He is trying to teach us through them.. maybe they will go faster that way... maybe not.. maybe they will continue to last a long time.. even a whole lifetime.. but it is not for us to decide.. we are not God.. as we submit to His will and His ways.. we daily become more like Him.. and isn't that really the goal.. to be made in the image of God..

so we change our outlook on it.. and we smile through it... and be thankful.. at all times.. both happy and painful... and then God will get the glory for our lives.. and bringing God glory is surely the main purpose of all of our lives..