trust

assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed

a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship

That is the meaning of trust in the webster/miriam dictionary....
trust is a really big deal to me. I often find myself looking for cracks in relationships and looking for signs of possible betrayal before they ever happen... because I have issues with trust.... (I have been told I have some commitment issues too.... but I am not sure about that one...) I found out recently that I have a terrible fear of being exposed... I didn't really know that I had that fear... someone gave me an exposed feeling and I wanted to run and hide... I shut up... yes, me... I stopped talking because I felt wide open... I don't like that much... I would rather be hidden and unpredictable... I am good at that... God gave me a dream about being naked and not ashamed one day and the peace that was felt in that tent was indescribable... yet I have fear of it... strange don't you think??
I was told a long time ago that a woman can love without trusting but a man cannot.. to a man... trust is love... and if he can't trust you, then he can't love you... I don't know what parts of that is true or not... I know that I have a hard time with people I don't trust and I am often told I have a "man brain"... one night while I was sleeping... God took it out and put in the female version and I have been struggling ever since... I think it seems I have a man brain on some things and a female brain on others... people close to me tell me the man brain is fading fast.... I surely don't know if that is good or bad... a man will tell me it is a good thing... while inside I am pretty sure it is not... to think with emotion is surely not a good thing...
but I think that God is honestly the only one that I trust.... I will allow people to have small pieces of open doors... but as soon as there are signs or betrayal... I am ready to head for the hills... let's look at God's version of the issue with trust.... I look in the bible dictionary looking for trust and it is not there... I also look it up in the topical bible and it says... see faith... ???? how in the world is faith the same thing as trust?? the definition of faith is the evidence of something unseen and the substance of what is hoped for. I have faith... haven't moved a mountain that I have seen, but I have faith to believe crazy things... God tells me things and then they happen.. that is faith to me.. and I have learned although I have experienced pain, that God does what is right for the majority.. and if I become better, not bitter, then I grow from the situation.. trust is different in my human mind... I think if you trust someone there is never any hurt from them... but I guess that is unrealistic because even with me... as much as I need trust... once in a while, without meaning to, I violate someone's trust and have to fix it... have to apologize and turn away from the violation...
Psalms 13:5-6 but I will trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.
Isaiah 12:2 surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song: he has become my salvation.
maybe the only way we can learn to trust anyone at all is to trust them through the eyes of God. to know that God has his hedge of protection around us and he will not allow anything that we cannot bear... (trust me.... we can bear a whole lot more than we think we can....) I trust in the unfailing love of God ... it has brought me through things that I thought might kill me.. I do sing to the Lord... he has surely smiled on me...