giving up

today, I give back to God the vision that He put in my spirit... I can't do this...

now the average person would feel like I am saying that I am done believing... but that is not the case... I am just giving it up... done trying to figure it out.. done trying to work it out...

first off, this is surely not the first time that I have given it back... this is just going to be the last time I have to... I think you get to a place where you think if I am right God... then where is it??? why can't I see it??? why can't I see anything.... (and I do mean ANYTHING...) so today Father, I say to you, it is yours... if it be THY will, then so be it... and if it is not, then so be it... I have been so worried about the physical realm of this, that I couldn't see the spirit realm of it.. last night one of the wisest men I know makes the comment that we walk not by situation (what we see), but by revelation (faith)... and this morning I realize... this really is not even MY vision... this is God's vision... and if He wants it to happen, then it will.. and if He doesn't, then I don't want it... God knows, I have lived enough of life the way God did NOT want it to be... that I don't want to live even one day out of the will of God...

secondly, satan is using physical realm to confuse me... I see spirit realm.... (sometimes people think I am crazy because I clearly see spirit realm...) and I see things and know things that not everyone does... one day on the way to work... God says to me... as you have said, so shall it be done... and since about a month later, I speak something and sure enough it happens... (not to say I am never off, but it is pretty much a constant occurrance to the point that people close to me are asking me to be cautious about what I speak...) so sometimes... I can't tell if I can see things and feel things just because this is the gift, or is it about connection, like I originally thought... satan is a deceiver, but what parts are the deceit? when you can't see anything manifesting, how can you be sure what the deceit is.... how do I know that I have not been wrong all along and am now seeing? I can't know... all I can do is trust that God got me... that I don't have to worry about anything... I don't have to do anything... so Father, here is all You said to me... it is Yours... let Thy will be done on earth as it already is done in heaven.... I ask this in the anointed blood of Christ Jesus...

Father, let it be unto me as You have said.... I am your servant.....
I love You... I adore You... I bow down before You.... Son of God I magnify You....

p.s.
how about it is now 11:30 am... I posted this early this morning.. already more is being shown of the vision... I was limiting God... the vision is much bigger than I thought it was... the vision has always been about the house of God and the plans of God and the glory of God and the changing of man... and He has reaffirmed all of it... WOW.... He is so amazing...