pride...

2 Chronicles 26:16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 32:26 Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD's wrath did not come upon them during the days of Hezekiah.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Isaiah 2:11 The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.

yesterday I had an eye opening experience that I pray will be life changing for me. I went to a bible study that I had never been to before and through the teacher I realized that I have a big problem with pride. I call my friend and tell her what I have learned and she says are you kidding? you really didn't know? I call someone else and she tells me I have been telling you this... why can't you hear me??
and the worst part of it is that I didn't see it at all... I thought that I recognize that I am nothing without God... I know that head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different things... apparently I had all the knowledge in my head, but it didn't sink into my heart... I had been wanting people to look at me instead of the God in me... ooohhhhh... how ugly is that???
God can tell you something over and over and you still just don't accept it... He has told me for 3 years that my days of getting attention are over and I just can't seem to accept it as truth... I still fight with being the cutest thing in the building... I still fight with wanting men to look at me... you can't touch me, but I want you to want to... I want to be the smartest person in the room... I want to have the best relationship with God... nothing you have can compare with mine... what an ugly person I am sometimes....
and the bible says that pride goes before a fall... I surely don't want to fall... I want this issue rooted out right now... before it can do anymore damage than it already has... the bible says there are 7 things that God detests... and pride is one of them...
Father in the name of Jesus... cleanse me.. wash me in the blood of Christ and cleanse me from this sin of pride and being puffed up... trying to take the spotlight off of you and onto me... forgive me for this ugly and sinful unrighteousness... change me... cleanse my heart and my thoughts and actions so that all the glory and honor and praise will go only to You... I know that I can do nothing without You... in the matchless name of Jesus I ask.. amen.