made strong in weakness...

2 Corinthians 12:7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

first off, let me say I do not have a big head over revelations... nor do I think I have any right to...
but... God has given me this ENORMOUS vision and as He gives me bits and pieces of it in revelation... I often say to Him "I can't do this... I am not this big... or you have the wrong one..." and today I hear Him say to me... I know you can't do this... you never were supposed to... but I can do it through you...
none of this is about my ability or qualities or gifts or anything.... (whew... that is a load off my mind... let me tell you....) God already knew I couldn't do anything by myself so apparently the plan is... when I feel like I am bout to fall apart or breakdown... HE stands up IN me... how awesome is that?? so my next thought was... okay then... when will I ever get secure and feel confident again? and He then says.... never... this never was about you.. never will be... this is My vision, My plan... let Me get glory through using you... (notice He did NOT say me get glory FOR Him...) lololol... maybe my being unable to do this... is WHY He will get all the glory... because I surely don't look like much in the physical form... surely not what is expected.... that's for sure... I honestly thank God today for His spirit within me... leading me and guiding me and obviously... changing me... directing my paths...

I praise you Father God... I give you all the glory and honor due your holy name... I magnify you... I worship you... I love you, adore you, I bow down before you...