so before I went to bed last night... I was thinking.. and I wasn't praying about it.. I was almost trying to hide it from God still knowing that He could see my thoughts...

when I was alone with God for that long time in 2007.. and I was so in love with Him.. and all my thoughts were about Him... and I didn't really focus on anything other than Him.. and I was SO HAPPY.... and a small part of me wanted to ask if I could give this promise away so that I could have my focus completely on Him.. but I knew it was a wrong request.. so I didn't say it.. like I said.. I was trying to hide it from Him...

so in the middle of the night.. I wake up... and I am just laying there.. and God shows me Moses coming down from the mountain with God.. and how shining his face was and how he was so 'full' of God when he came down.. so in love with God... and he gets to the bottom of the mountain.. and these people are idiots.. and surely he was thinking that he just wanted to go live with God on the mountain and never have to deal with any of the people... but God showed me.. if Moses stayed in the mountain.. only in God's presence... what good would he really be? was that worth anything? to be able to just bask in God? or was his real value in the relationship he had with the rebellious nation of Israel because of his relationship with God?

so this morning I realize.. I had that time with God to show me that I needed it.. I needed to know Him on an intimate and personal level... like a love affair.. and part of my purpose is in taking that love affair between me and God and sharing it with everyone I come in contact with...  and maybe... through my relationship with God.. someone else can gain the same thing in their own life...