confessions about me...

I am still the same selfish person I was as a child.. I really thought I had overcome it... I thought I was the image of God.. or at least becoming the image of God.. and today.. I realize.. I am still dealing with the same ugliness as always...

I can't stand people to touch my stuff... it doesn't matter what it is... I can't stand it...
I can't stand anyone in my space...

this morning God reminds me that repeatedly in my life.. He has uprooted me.. wiped out all of my possessions.. because of this very issue... He is trying to teach me that nothing belongs to me to begin with... it is His...

I had a dream once about someone not wanting me to touch their stuff.. and I couldn't clean the house because of it.. and he had to realize that he had to give me some space in the house too... yet I see myself doing this exact same thing to the young girl in my own house... she has nothing.. she has no one.. and I am selfish and don't want her to touch my stuff... and I remember that dream and how it felt to not belong in that house...

I have got to change.. I have to be able to open more than my mind or my words to the ways of God.. I have to be willing to open also my house.. my heart.. my belongings... because in the end.. none of it is mine anyways... it all belongs to God...