the armor of God...

Ephesians 6: 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

some days all you can do is put on the armor of God, which is your protection and go from there. we never know what the outcome of our actions will be. we never know just what direction the deceiver is going to come, attempting to destroy us this day... so EVERY day... we need to wake up and read some scripture and pray, putting on the full armor of God...
we need truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the word of God and the spirit of God.. if we are arming ourselves with these things daily, we will withstand the attacks... call on the spirit to strengthen you on the days you feel weak... walk in righteousness and holiness... put away known sin... we cannot think that we can live in sin (even if it is hidden from man...) and think that God is going to be on board for that... He expects us to give our all... to read the bible... to truly try to live in peace with others...
some days we have the best of intentions when we do what we do, other days we are totally self motivated when we do what we do... but by God's grace, He covers us at all times... we may have to go and repent of wrong doing, but our God is faithful and just and sure to forgive all of our iniquities... that doesn't mean there are no consequences... many times we like to think that because we have acknowledged we are wrong and turned from it that there will be no consequence to the action... and once in a while... you might get a ride from God and there really may not be... but more often than not, we still have to face the consequence of the sin and suffer from the wrong of it... we often try to change up the word of God... saying well the times have changed... we don't live in the old days anymore... none of that changes God's rule or rules... they are the same yesterday, today and forevermore...
some days the enemy may come in the form of something someone else does to us... and we have followed the voice of God... so why are we being attacked? we may never know the real reason... we may never know our full potential in the kingdom of God if we do not remain steadfast.. we get upset when we are attacked and wonder where is God... my question is.. do you have on your armor? people will never stop attacking us... all we can do is be prepared daily... put on the full armor of God that we can resist the firey darts of the enemy...

no hope...

I have strange dreams... all the time... I am sure the dreams are supposed to be saying something because of how very strange they are... something in my subconscious that needs to be dealt with or something crazy like that... so I have this weird dream last night and I wake up so sad and so unconnected from what I am usually connected to... so I say to Jesus that we should just let this vision go... that I will be fine without it and He can find another way to do what He wants to do... I hear nothing and I get up and I read the streaming faith devotional for the morning... and God is just so amazing... the devotional is about someone who is feeling like giving up or hopeless.. and that they feel like they have no business being on the road they are on... and she tells us all to hold on anyway because everything that we live through is a testimony for someone else... so this journey in the dark that I have been on by myself all this time... it is for someone else to have strength to hold on when there is nothing to hold onto except the word from God...
the deceiver doesn't put big visions in us... but he will do everything that he can to make sure that you stop believing... and as long as it lines up with the word of God... meaning there is no sin involved in it... and it goes along with what the scriptures say should happen... then you need to hold on to it... because if it is really that crazy... it is really probably from God...

the days that you feel like you are not big enough... you aren't, but God is... the days that you feel like you are not pure enough... you aren't, but God is... the days that you feel crazy... you are, but God is not... the days that you feel unloved and alone... God is there with you... loving you all the time... the days you feel like you can't do this even one more day... maybe you can't, but God can...

Jeremiah 33: 2 "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

sacrifice...

1 Peter 2:4As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— 5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

being a living sacrifice is not an easy task... some days we want to be just like everyone else... but it doesn't change who you are called to be... we are children of the Most High God... we are called to be more than other people...
if you look at the children of an earthly king... they are expected to act a particular way and present an image... we are children of the King of Kings and the same is expected of us... do not shame your Father by acting like you are the same as everyone else... your inheritance is more than someone else... therefore, your sacrifice is more than someone else... walk worthy of the calling upon your life... even on the days when you don't feel like it... you are a holy priesthood... you are a spiritual sacrifice... you are chosen...

hurt by the church...

Psalms 55:12 It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. 13 Instead, it is you—my equal,my companion and close friend. 14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.

it seems that many people get hurt by the people of God and then they affect their own relationship with God due to the things others have done to them... the first thing that we need to recognize that the church is really just a gathering place for sick people... which means that you might run into some illness in others... I will be the first to admit that while I am doing the best I can to be the best I can... some days... such as yesterday... I still get disciplined from God because I am not being a good steward of my spiritual gifts or.. as He said yesterday... I was trying to take His glory as though I am something by myself... and He hurt my feelings... I didn't want to hear that I was wrong... I didn't want to swallow my pride and confess my sin before God and man...
I have been saved since I was about 5 years old... as I went through my teenage years... I did not at all act as though I was saved... through some of my adult years I did not act like I was saved... this didn't mean I was not still in relationship with God... I was... I was still reading my bible and I was still attending church and praying... but my actions did not show this... my actions looked like any other sinner out there... sometimes we forget that everyone is on a different level in God and they may not be holy and righteous... sometimes people will say they are called into the ministry and all they are trying to do is get attention for themselves... sometimes they do not even see this is what they are doing... if you had told me that I was doing this, I would have never believed you... it had to come to me straight from God himself... my ministry was blessed and growing... you would think that all was right... even today, from the fleshy side I can tell you excuses of why I acted like I did... but none of the excuses mean anything to God... so we might tell someone what they are doing is wrong, but they can't see it... maybe they don't even want to see it... and you could be right about them... but it doesn't change anything... they are not ready to do differently...

what does any of that have to do with your walk? I am absolutely certain that when I stand before God on the judgement day, He will not ask me what someone else did to me... instead He will ask me what I did to someone else... was I a positive role model? was I giving? was I encouraging? was I a servant... because in the end, that is what we are all called to do... to be a servant... I got caught up thinking I was serving man and I got mad about it... I never served man to begin with, all my service is to be done as unto God Himself... so I had to go back and confess my wrong so that things would be right between me and God... whether man ever looks at anything differently is irrelevant... it is between me and God... He is the one I answer to ultimately...

we are all sinners saved by grace... so the next time someone does you wrong, don't allow it to be a stumbling block to your walk... what if we were to die in the time between... before we go back and confess our hard heart? what someone does to me is really not between me and them, it is between them and God... what I do to someone else really is not done between me and them, it is between me and God... any money that we have spent with the right intention is treasure in heaven... and time we have spent with right intention is sowing a seed in heaven... any gifts that we have used with right intention are rewards in heaven... don't allow shortcomings on earth to become and issue with you reaping in heaven...

the bible tells us that the door into heaven is narrow... we spend far too much time on people and trying to receive and far too little time on doing right IN SPITE OF what others do to us... the bible also tells us that Jesus said even as ye have done so unto the least of these... ye have done so unto Me... so anything someone does to you... he has done to Jesus... and you can know that it is no longer your issue... we all need fellowship with the body of believers... screwed up as we all are... we are all just learning day by day to do the right thing... all trying to get slim enough to get through the narrow gate...

sexy....

Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion.They'll be with you to fend off the Temptress—that smooth-talking, honey-tongued Seductress. As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters,Watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any senseArriving at the corner of the street where she lived, then turning up the path to her house.It was dusk, the evening coming on, the darkness thickening into night.Just then, a woman met him—she'd been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him.Brazen and brash she was, restless and roaming, never at home,Walking the streets, loitering in the mall, hanging out at every corner in town. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said,"I've got all the makings for a feast—today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid,So now I've come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are!Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech.Before you know it, he's trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop,Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow,Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over. So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously.Don't fool around with a woman like that; don't even stroll through her neighborhood.Countless victims come under her spell; she's the death of many a poor man.She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin.

all of that is exerts from Proverbs 7...
and again God takes the bat and smacks me on the side of the head...
what is it that we think we are attracting when we dress in a sexy (seductive, provocative) manner? I think that because I tend to look sexy instead of sleazy it is okay... and it's not... and I don't even usually show any body parts that should be hidden... it is just the style of the dress or the fit of the dress... in my human mind I say that I accentuate the attributes that I have... in the spirit mind... God says why? what are you trying to accomplish... attention... that is what I am looking for... again... sometimes I am such an ugly person...
2 in a row... cleanse me Father of wrong thoughts... wrong desires... change me... wash me in the blood of the sacrifice that Christ made for me... teach me to live in freedom from all the world's desires and bondage... forgive me and help me to turn from all wrong doing... continue to point out to me anything that is not pleasing to You... help me to put You and what you want for me and from me in front of anything that I should not be... in the name of Jesus I ask it... amen...

pride...

2 Chronicles 26:16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 32:26 Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD's wrath did not come upon them during the days of Hezekiah.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Isaiah 2:11 The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.

yesterday I had an eye opening experience that I pray will be life changing for me. I went to a bible study that I had never been to before and through the teacher I realized that I have a big problem with pride. I call my friend and tell her what I have learned and she says are you kidding? you really didn't know? I call someone else and she tells me I have been telling you this... why can't you hear me??
and the worst part of it is that I didn't see it at all... I thought that I recognize that I am nothing without God... I know that head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different things... apparently I had all the knowledge in my head, but it didn't sink into my heart... I had been wanting people to look at me instead of the God in me... ooohhhhh... how ugly is that???
God can tell you something over and over and you still just don't accept it... He has told me for 3 years that my days of getting attention are over and I just can't seem to accept it as truth... I still fight with being the cutest thing in the building... I still fight with wanting men to look at me... you can't touch me, but I want you to want to... I want to be the smartest person in the room... I want to have the best relationship with God... nothing you have can compare with mine... what an ugly person I am sometimes....
and the bible says that pride goes before a fall... I surely don't want to fall... I want this issue rooted out right now... before it can do anymore damage than it already has... the bible says there are 7 things that God detests... and pride is one of them...
Father in the name of Jesus... cleanse me.. wash me in the blood of Christ and cleanse me from this sin of pride and being puffed up... trying to take the spotlight off of you and onto me... forgive me for this ugly and sinful unrighteousness... change me... cleanse my heart and my thoughts and actions so that all the glory and honor and praise will go only to You... I know that I can do nothing without You... in the matchless name of Jesus I ask.. amen.

Love for the Father...

I wake up this morning thinking about you. Thinking of your goodness to me. Thinking of your constant show of love to me. Thinking how you constantly shower me with goodness and gifts.

I cannot imagine feeling this way about anyone else. You are my center. The first thought in the morning and the last thought at night. You are even the center of my dreams.

I know that I can depend on you. I know that you are there for me, caring for me, protecting me, even in spite of myself.

Never will there be another love like this. The love I have for the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Joseph. I praise and worship you at all times. You are the source of my inspiration...