Psalms 34: 17  The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. 18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

sometimes when I had a harder life than I now have.. I would read the bible and wonder why God didn't seem to rescue me.. why my heart was allowed to be broken.. why He wasn't rescuing my crushed spirit... 

but today... I realize.. much of my issues were my own... 

I wanted to live as I wanted to live.. I wanted God to be around when it was convenient and I wanted Him to turn the other direction when I wanted to do things that didn't go along with His way or His will... 

I believe that even though we follow God completely we will still have trials.. we will still be hurt and upset sometimes... our spirits will get crushed.. but the difference for me is me... now.. I don't look at God as someone to do what I want.. to give me what I want... instead.. I look to Him as my Father.. and I realize that every day won't be a good day.. people will be jerks sometimes.. I will be a jerk sometimes.. and some days I will get reprimanded by my Father.. but none of those things separate me from Him.. none of those things mean He doesn't love me... 

I can honestly say God has matured me.. and made me a better person than who I was on my own... and I am thankful!