I was sitting at this church function friday night.. and looking at some of these women and whatever the reason... I would look at some women and all these negative thoughts ran through my head.. I look at others and positive thoughts are running through...
and as I was thinking the negative ones.. I was thinking... what is it that makes me do that? why can't I see in someone... see what God sees.. meaning.. why can't I see something positive in everyone ?? what is it that makes me look at someone with negativity?
now I am not even talking about people I have had a negative experience with.. I am thinking this is about jealousies toward others... maybe not wanting something they have.. maybe not even thinking they are better than me.. more like it causes me to look at me and feel I am maybe not enough........................
that is an ugly ugly feeling.. to feel you are not enough....
in the one version the scripture above said do things without disputing.. (rather than arguing) and I thought.. why do I do that? why do I dispute everything some people say... why can't I just keep my mouth shut and go along with things... even if they are wrong.. why do I feel the need to point it out.. let them see things on their own...
I have decided these are two areas of myself I am not happy with and I want to work to change about me... to stop disputing everything someone says.. and to stop thinking negative thoughts of other women...
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