Lamentations 3: 31 For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion  because of the greatness of his unfailing love.33 For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

sometimes it feels as if we have been abandoned by the Lord forever... sometimes it feels as if sorrow and grief is neverending... the bible tells us God loves us oh so much.. but sometimes it really doesn't feel like it...

now look at the people in your life... these are just seasons of relationships... things can't be good with everyone all the time.. if they were.. surely we would take them ALL for granted... we have to have bad days to be thankful for good ones...

I believe our relationship with God is like this too... if God was everything we imagine... He would be reduced to being for our use.. not us being for his use... I think we have all that confused...
I am reading a book with big larry by John MacArthur called "Slave: Our true identity in Christ".. the book is really opening up my eyes about what our relationship with God is really about... God is not at our beck and call.. more like.. we are supposed to be at His.. when the Israelites were set free from the egyptians so long ago... really the only thing that happened was that their master changed from being pharoah.. to being the Living God who loves them... when Christ died on the cross for us.. he paid the price for us.. we are no longer free to have our own will.. we are to be under His will at all times... our lives are a living sacrifice for the one who is our Master...

yet this is nothing we want to hear.. surely not the way we want to live... so we are in constant battle with God.. because by being in our own will.. we are out of His... we really have no voice.. no options... God's will for our lives is our day to day living.. or at least it is supposed to be...
when will we ever live the life Christ died for us to live....