Ephesians 5: 21-33

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

so as we submit to a man.... it is out of reverence for Christ.. if we could keep that at the front of our thoughts.. I think it would be easier...

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

put your own self in this... as I submit to my husband.. who is my head... as Christ is the head of the church... he saves or protects me... he is saving our household just like Christ saves the church... I am not talking so much about spiritual salvation as physical... I realized that I need a head.. I need someone to answer to... someone who will tell me when I am wrong.. this whole thing of not answering to anyone tends to make us rebellious to God... yea... I am sure no one else is feeling like that... we think.. it is easy to follow God... to submit to God... but do you really? do you obey what He tells you to do? and if we aren't really obeying God... how much harder to obey a man...

but if we change the way we view it... he isn't trying to control me.. he is trying to protect me... he isn't trying to run me personally.. he is trying to save our household.. save our family... save our marriage... amazing the difference things make if we change the way we look at it....

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

love your wife as Christ loved the church... He died for her... to make her holy and clean... imagine that your husband makes you righteous.. holy and clean before God... (whew...) washed by the cleansing of God's word... he should be washing her in the word of God... teaching and leading her spiritually... so that he can present his family to God without spot or wrinkle... and she will be holy without fault... a man that loves his wife actually shows love for himself... she is a member of his body... they are one body... one being before God...

often women will say... if he were the man I need him to be.. then I would be the woman he wants me to be... but that isn't relevant... whether he is right or not... God has called women to submit... and we should be doing our part whether he is or not... as far as the men are concerned... if they are not leading.. then they are out of order too...

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

the two are united into one... look at the three legged race... how hard it is for two people to operate as one... someone has to be the one giving instructions.. and the other one has to be in agreement... that is the only way to win the race...

I have heard that marriage will cause you to become so selfless that you daily become more like Christ... if you allow it... that it is used as a tool by God to crush our flesh thoughts so that we are like minded.... everything to no longer be about how you feel but instead to be about what is best for the household... I guess in truth.. it is the same as in the kingdom of God.. it should no longer be about how you feel but instead about what is the vision for the church....