1 Corinthians 9

17 If I were doing this on my own initiative, I would deserve payment. But I have no choice, for God has given me this sacred trust. 18 What then is my pay? It is the opportunity to preach the Good News without charging anyone. That’s why I never demand my rights when I preach the Good News.19 Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. 20 When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. 21 When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ.22 When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. 23 I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.
24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

I was just thinking about how God is teaching me.. and has been for some time now.. that I am not to expect anything in return for my doing what He has called me to do.. if no one is ever kind or thankful.. that is irrelevant... what my concern should be is that I have done what God called me to do.. that He is who I answer to.. and if someone else is wrong.. it is nothing to do with me.. it is God's concern.. and that might be the right thing to say but it is hard to live out.. because many people take us for granted when we do the right thing... when we serve without grumbling.. when we are encouragers... people expect more from you... because you have set a high standard for yourself...

my original thought would be that I have not set any standard for myself at all.. I am just doing what God has told me to do... but I don't imagine that is how it is perceived... it is amazing.. that the ones that we would expect to live the most spirit filled lives.. seem to only do so in public.. and in the dark.. they are like everyone else... so why would I continue to strive to do what is called of me when those who should do not? because I do not live for man.. nor will I die when man wants me to... my life and my death are all in the hands of God... so I am required to answer only to Him... and if I am wrong.. He will let me know... if I continue to think of how I hurt or what I need.. then I have taken my focus off of what God wants from me...

if even just a few of us.. will be true servants.. called by God.. righteous in the light and righteous in the dark.. maybe we few can make a difference in the multitude of people who only choose to be righteous in the light... quit looking at others.. look only at what you can or should be doing...