sacrifice...

1 Peter 2:4As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— 5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

being a living sacrifice is not an easy task... some days we want to be just like everyone else... but it doesn't change who you are called to be... we are children of the Most High God... we are called to be more than other people...
if you look at the children of an earthly king... they are expected to act a particular way and present an image... we are children of the King of Kings and the same is expected of us... do not shame your Father by acting like you are the same as everyone else... your inheritance is more than someone else... therefore, your sacrifice is more than someone else... walk worthy of the calling upon your life... even on the days when you don't feel like it... you are a holy priesthood... you are a spiritual sacrifice... you are chosen...

hurt by the church...

Psalms 55:12 It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. 13 Instead, it is you—my equal,my companion and close friend. 14 What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.

it seems that many people get hurt by the people of God and then they affect their own relationship with God due to the things others have done to them... the first thing that we need to recognize that the church is really just a gathering place for sick people... which means that you might run into some illness in others... I will be the first to admit that while I am doing the best I can to be the best I can... some days... such as yesterday... I still get disciplined from God because I am not being a good steward of my spiritual gifts or.. as He said yesterday... I was trying to take His glory as though I am something by myself... and He hurt my feelings... I didn't want to hear that I was wrong... I didn't want to swallow my pride and confess my sin before God and man...
I have been saved since I was about 5 years old... as I went through my teenage years... I did not at all act as though I was saved... through some of my adult years I did not act like I was saved... this didn't mean I was not still in relationship with God... I was... I was still reading my bible and I was still attending church and praying... but my actions did not show this... my actions looked like any other sinner out there... sometimes we forget that everyone is on a different level in God and they may not be holy and righteous... sometimes people will say they are called into the ministry and all they are trying to do is get attention for themselves... sometimes they do not even see this is what they are doing... if you had told me that I was doing this, I would have never believed you... it had to come to me straight from God himself... my ministry was blessed and growing... you would think that all was right... even today, from the fleshy side I can tell you excuses of why I acted like I did... but none of the excuses mean anything to God... so we might tell someone what they are doing is wrong, but they can't see it... maybe they don't even want to see it... and you could be right about them... but it doesn't change anything... they are not ready to do differently...

what does any of that have to do with your walk? I am absolutely certain that when I stand before God on the judgement day, He will not ask me what someone else did to me... instead He will ask me what I did to someone else... was I a positive role model? was I giving? was I encouraging? was I a servant... because in the end, that is what we are all called to do... to be a servant... I got caught up thinking I was serving man and I got mad about it... I never served man to begin with, all my service is to be done as unto God Himself... so I had to go back and confess my wrong so that things would be right between me and God... whether man ever looks at anything differently is irrelevant... it is between me and God... He is the one I answer to ultimately...

we are all sinners saved by grace... so the next time someone does you wrong, don't allow it to be a stumbling block to your walk... what if we were to die in the time between... before we go back and confess our hard heart? what someone does to me is really not between me and them, it is between them and God... what I do to someone else really is not done between me and them, it is between me and God... any money that we have spent with the right intention is treasure in heaven... and time we have spent with right intention is sowing a seed in heaven... any gifts that we have used with right intention are rewards in heaven... don't allow shortcomings on earth to become and issue with you reaping in heaven...

the bible tells us that the door into heaven is narrow... we spend far too much time on people and trying to receive and far too little time on doing right IN SPITE OF what others do to us... the bible also tells us that Jesus said even as ye have done so unto the least of these... ye have done so unto Me... so anything someone does to you... he has done to Jesus... and you can know that it is no longer your issue... we all need fellowship with the body of believers... screwed up as we all are... we are all just learning day by day to do the right thing... all trying to get slim enough to get through the narrow gate...

sexy....

Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion.They'll be with you to fend off the Temptress—that smooth-talking, honey-tongued Seductress. As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters,Watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any senseArriving at the corner of the street where she lived, then turning up the path to her house.It was dusk, the evening coming on, the darkness thickening into night.Just then, a woman met him—she'd been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him.Brazen and brash she was, restless and roaming, never at home,Walking the streets, loitering in the mall, hanging out at every corner in town. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said,"I've got all the makings for a feast—today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid,So now I've come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are!Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech.Before you know it, he's trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop,Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow,Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over. So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously.Don't fool around with a woman like that; don't even stroll through her neighborhood.Countless victims come under her spell; she's the death of many a poor man.She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin.

all of that is exerts from Proverbs 7...
and again God takes the bat and smacks me on the side of the head...
what is it that we think we are attracting when we dress in a sexy (seductive, provocative) manner? I think that because I tend to look sexy instead of sleazy it is okay... and it's not... and I don't even usually show any body parts that should be hidden... it is just the style of the dress or the fit of the dress... in my human mind I say that I accentuate the attributes that I have... in the spirit mind... God says why? what are you trying to accomplish... attention... that is what I am looking for... again... sometimes I am such an ugly person...
2 in a row... cleanse me Father of wrong thoughts... wrong desires... change me... wash me in the blood of the sacrifice that Christ made for me... teach me to live in freedom from all the world's desires and bondage... forgive me and help me to turn from all wrong doing... continue to point out to me anything that is not pleasing to You... help me to put You and what you want for me and from me in front of anything that I should not be... in the name of Jesus I ask it... amen...

pride...

2 Chronicles 26:16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 32:26 Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD's wrath did not come upon them during the days of Hezekiah.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Isaiah 2:11 The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.

yesterday I had an eye opening experience that I pray will be life changing for me. I went to a bible study that I had never been to before and through the teacher I realized that I have a big problem with pride. I call my friend and tell her what I have learned and she says are you kidding? you really didn't know? I call someone else and she tells me I have been telling you this... why can't you hear me??
and the worst part of it is that I didn't see it at all... I thought that I recognize that I am nothing without God... I know that head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different things... apparently I had all the knowledge in my head, but it didn't sink into my heart... I had been wanting people to look at me instead of the God in me... ooohhhhh... how ugly is that???
God can tell you something over and over and you still just don't accept it... He has told me for 3 years that my days of getting attention are over and I just can't seem to accept it as truth... I still fight with being the cutest thing in the building... I still fight with wanting men to look at me... you can't touch me, but I want you to want to... I want to be the smartest person in the room... I want to have the best relationship with God... nothing you have can compare with mine... what an ugly person I am sometimes....
and the bible says that pride goes before a fall... I surely don't want to fall... I want this issue rooted out right now... before it can do anymore damage than it already has... the bible says there are 7 things that God detests... and pride is one of them...
Father in the name of Jesus... cleanse me.. wash me in the blood of Christ and cleanse me from this sin of pride and being puffed up... trying to take the spotlight off of you and onto me... forgive me for this ugly and sinful unrighteousness... change me... cleanse my heart and my thoughts and actions so that all the glory and honor and praise will go only to You... I know that I can do nothing without You... in the matchless name of Jesus I ask.. amen.

Love for the Father...

I wake up this morning thinking about you. Thinking of your goodness to me. Thinking of your constant show of love to me. Thinking how you constantly shower me with goodness and gifts.

I cannot imagine feeling this way about anyone else. You are my center. The first thought in the morning and the last thought at night. You are even the center of my dreams.

I know that I can depend on you. I know that you are there for me, caring for me, protecting me, even in spite of myself.

Never will there be another love like this. The love I have for the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Joseph. I praise and worship you at all times. You are the source of my inspiration...

walking into the will of God...

Matthew 26: 36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." 39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." 40Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. 41"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." 42He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." 43When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

how often do we honestly pray for the will of God, above our own will? as God is growing me up, maturing me in His spirit, I am praying for the will of God above my own desires... I don't know what it will mean... but I know that the true purpose of every person's life is to further the kingdom of God... so if what I desire does not further the kingdom of God... then I submit it back to God...
Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow... unto the point of death... He did not desire to give His life... He wanted to live and love and grow old like each of us does... and He went back 3 times... trying to change the will of God if it were possible... but the will of the Father was not so.. the will of God had Him to be sacrificed that we might be saved... and because of Him giving His will back to God... multitudes (including me and hopefully you...) have been saved...

Father... I give you my will... I give you my desires... I give you my heartfelt love and devotion... I give you my life... use me to further the kingdom of God... no matter what that might mean for me personally... I will walk forward into the will of God despite the desires of Susan... I submit my self to You... in the name of Jesus Christ the savior... amen.

power of a mother...

2 Chronicles 22:2 Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem one year. His mother's name was Athaliah, a granddaughter of Omri. 3 He too walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother encouraged him in doing wrong. 4 He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, as the house of Ahab had done, for after his father's death they became his advisers, to his undoing.

as a mother do you realize the power that you have? his mother encouraged him in doing wrong... can you imagine such a thing?? I don't know about you, but I constantly try to teach any children to do the right thing in spite of the circumstances... in spite of what their friends are doing... in spite of what feels good... but this woman, the boy's mother... encouraged him to do wrong.... I am speechless by such a thing...
I do not pretend that I have done the right thing by my children all of their lives... I do say that I did the best I could with what I had at the time... regardless of circumstance, I kept my children in church and God is faithful and my children know who God is... whether or not they will walk the path of the Lord as an adult remains to be seen... but I fully believe that if you train up a child as he should go when he is old he will not depart from it... so I believe that even if they have rough times and think they don't need God, in the end they will return to the ways of God... as I have changed over the last few years, I see changes in them also... I see my daughter read her bible in church... my son tells me he is reading his bible and I am thankful for the changes God is making in them...
a few years ago my son was in a boy's camp and one of the boys there who was only 15 years old had gotten arrested for selling drugs... and his mother was the one that had encouraged him to do so... she had a drug problem and she needed access to drugs, but she also needed income to feed the other children in the house... I remember how horrifed I was by hearing that story... the next thing that happened to the boy was that one of the counselors of the camp, a female, was in a sexual encounter with him... he was 15... I wonder today where the boy is... how the boy is... if God has ever gotten hold of him.... he used to tell my son that he didn't know how lucky he was to have the mother he had... my son said of course he did, but surely he did not, because he had never had a mother like this boy did... my son's mother would die for him... so surely he could not understand a mother that would lead him into sin and death...

we have the choice to instill in our children right and wrong... or just wrong... we lead by example... what are you leading your child into today... righteousness or hell....