judges 13: 3 The angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife and said, “Even though you have been unable to have children, you will soon become pregnant and give birth to a son. 4 So be careful; you must not drink wine or any other alcoholic drink nor eat any forbidden food.[a] 5 You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and his hair must never be cut. For he will be dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. He will begin to rescue Israel from the Philistines.” 6 The woman ran and told her husband, “A man of God appeared to me! He looked like one of God’s angels, terrifying to see. I didn’t ask where he was from, and he didn’t tell me his name. 7 But he told me, ‘You will become pregnant and give birth to a son. You must not drink wine or any other alcoholic drink nor eat any forbidden food. For your son will be dedicated to God as a Nazirite from the moment of his birth until the day of his death.’”

8 Then Manoah prayed to the Lord, saying, “Lord, please let the man of God come back to us again and give us more instructions about this son who is to be born.”

​ ​

9 God answered Manoah’s prayer, and the angel of God appeared once again to his wife as she was sitting in the field. But her husband, Manoah, was not with her. 10 So she quickly ran and told her husband, “The man who appeared to me the other day is here again!”

​ 

11 Manoah ran back with his wife and asked, “Are you the man who spoke to my wife the other day?”

​ 

“Yes,” he replied, “I am.”

​ ​

12 So Manoah asked him, “When your words come true, what kind of rules should govern the boy’s life and work?”

 20 As the flames from the altar shot up toward the sky, the angel of the Lord ascended in the fire. When Manoah and his wife saw this, they fell with their faces to the ground.

​ ​

21 The angel did not appear again to Manoah and his wife. Manoah finally realized it was the angel of the Lord, 22 and he said to his wife, “We will certainly die, for we have seen God!”

​ ​

23 But his wife said, “If the Lord were going to kill us, he wouldn’t have accepted our burnt offering and grain offering. He wouldn’t have appeared to us and told us this wonderful thing and done these miracles.”

​this is going to sound like smart remarks.. but honestly that is not my intention.. I am pointing out why I don't understand the way men vs women think.. and the whole headship thing... 

so... the angel appears to the woman.. not the man.. the woman relays the message to the man who like every other man I know thinks the message has to come directly to him from God (yet I know that is not always the case and the bible shows that right here... ) so the man prays and God sends the angel to the woman again.. (a little view of God's sense of humor if you ask me..) 

the man talks with the angel... acts like he accepts what is being said... then wants the angel to eat which clearly angels don't eat.. then when his sacrifice is consumed he is sure he is going to die because at that point finally he realizes this is from God.. even there.. the woman says surely you see he was bringing us a message and not going to kill us!! (insert rolling eyes)

now this tells me... sometimes.. God goes to the woman because the man can't accept/see what He is saying... while the man is the head.. he needs the woman because his hearing is not always clear either.. while she needs a man to lead.. he too needs to be able to hear another point of view and sometimes see his way is not always God's way or his thoughts not always God's thoughts.. or his hearing sometimes can be influenced by his own desires and he will miss what God is saying because He is using someone else... 

bottom line.. we need each other.. but how do we get to the place where we see and acknowledge that two working together are better than either one working alone?​