Thursday, November 15, 2012

Psalms 119: 140 Your promises have been thoroughly tested; that is why I love them so much. 141 I am insignificant and despised, but I don’t forget your commandments. 142 Your justice is eternal, and your instructions are perfectly true. 143 As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands. 144 Your laws are always right; help me to understand them so I may live.
this morning I woke up and in my inbox on my phone is my verse of the day.. and it was "as pressure and stress bear down on me.. I find joy in your commands"
I have to admit.. I am not always able to find joy during pressure or during pain... and while my back has been sending me into live coniptions... I have not been too full of joy...
I am wondering this morning... if the reason God puts physical pain on us.. or emotional pressure or stress.. isn't to see just how we act when in pain or pressure... it is one thing to remain pleasant and full of the joy of the Lord when things are smooth.. even if they aren't smooth.. at least if they aren't all out hell... but what happens to our attitude and our actions when pressure and pain is pushed on us heavily? does our attitude go south....
I think mine does.. and it is completely unintentional... I cannot seem to rationally think when pain is great... I remember being in high stress when I was married and he was on drugs and drunk and mean and I just couldn't seem to think straight.. it was too much pressure... and I couldn't come out of the house because I couldn't function around people... and I am right this minute feeling that way about the pain in my back.. this is nerve pain.. and it is horrific... and I literally could scream out from it...
but what is supposed to be our reactions to rough times? I think... I wonder if we are to STILL even in this time of terribleness... still supposed to be a smiling light unto the world... wouldn't that be the true representation of Christ?
don't get me wrong... I can be smiling and pleasant for short bouts of time while in this pain and duress... but then I need to get home by myself and not be bothered talking or pretending all is good....
maybe the greatest witness we have is our witness while in pain and pressure... maybe that is really when people can look and think... whew! she is really christlike... it is not just a surface act.. it is deep down and real...
Father, your laws are always right.... help me to understand them so I may live by them...
change me Lord so that I am created in your likeness.. and not the likeness of my circumstances or feelings... in Jesus name I ask it.. amen.amen.amen.

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