1 samuel 18: ⁹ So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. ¹⁰ The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, ¹¹ and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.

¹² Saul was then afraid of David, for the Lord was with David and had turned away from Saul. ¹³ Finally, Saul sent him away and appointed him commander over 1,000 men, and David faithfully led his troops into battle. ¹⁴ David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him. ¹⁵ When Saul recognized this, he became even more afraid of him.

so here is david.. doing exactly what he is told to do.. living to please this king with tormenting spirit given by God... and the man is NOW hurling spears at him...

you know.. I think we imagine.. at least I know that I do.. that things will get better in God's will... not worse.. and doesn't the bible say that the safest place to be is in the middle of God's will... so here is david.. one of God's favorite people.. and he is in God's will and the crazy king wants to kill him...

how is it.. that we go into God's will and here we are with even worse troubles than we had previously?? and what is it that makes us even stay in God's will or seeking Him when this is the case??

well.. with me.. I can tell you.. I may have done more things when I was not following behind God's will... and I may have had more friends.. and I may have had fun... but there was this deep emptiness within me.. a longing for something that I couldn't describe.. an ache for something and I had no idea what it even was.. and I had no peace.. I had no real and lasting joy down within... so now.. even though I want things to be different in some ways... I have peace.. I have contentment.. I have God's love... I am satisfied.... that is the thing that is missing when we chase the world.. the contentment... the peace...

so while things are not going as I would have planned.. and I wonder if I have any idea where I am supposed to be going... I will stick with Jesus.. even though someone may throw spears at me.. because Jesus will deflect them.. and if He doesn't.. then I will be going home to be with Him.. and that is all anyone can hope for!