2 Timothy 1: 5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. 6 This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
8 So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. 9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 10 And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News. 11 And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.
fan into flames....
I have to say.. today I really need to be fanning some dying embers into flames... I am feeling some type of way... I am not sure how I would say what is really bothering me.. I don't really have an issue with this vision of God's anymore.. not that I would choose it willingly.. but God has chosen me for it.. and I know that is a great responsibility and an honor... so I try to stay on the thankful side of that...
but really.. can't the vision go along with me just once in a while.. I don't mean something small that happens and makes me feel hope for a day or two.. I mean something substantial.. something I can touch.. that lets me know that God is taking charge of this thing regardless of people... regardless of emotions or attitudes or desires...
is it a lack of faith to want something to touch and hold on to?? is it?
what about fanning the flames? does this mean we should be encouraging ourselves.. thinking back to the promise God gave us.. staying in the word so that we can meditate on God's faithfulness and love over generations... truthfully.. I can live in my mind.. I don't need any outside circumstances to make me or break me.. but the reason I don't do that anymore is because while I was living in my mind.. I was missing out on some of the good things that were really happening... I have missed almost all of my kids' growing up years because I had to live in my mind to not lose my sanity... I had to have a place to go where I could rest and feel God...
so I am still in the same place.. crying out and telling God.. please let me have something to hold on to...
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