I have read the story of the exodus of the children of Israel out of Egypt and into the promised land 1,000 times over and every single time I sit and think... what is wrong with these people... how can they not know that God will carry them... I mean come on now... look at all the miracles that were done during this time... for EVERYTHING... food, clothing, shelter... everything was provided by God...
this morning... some lights turn on and I realize I am the children of Israel...
I have been alone a long time... I have issues with trust... I used to always have someone in the background paying my bills and fixing my finances... and it was good.. lolol... at least in my eyes... and I realize that what that really did was cause me to expect for a person to be the source of meeting my needs...
so over the last 7 years God has been showing me that He is all I need and it has been good... just me and God and I trust Him to use whatever He chooses to help me when I need help and to teach me when I need taught and to love me when I need love... He has recreated an entire family down here for me... and I have been happy and satisfied...
so now.. as He throws people into the mix.. I realize that I tend to again look to people to be what I want them to be... not what God wants them to be... that is not good... for some psycho reason I want to keep trusting people instead of trusting God who has proven Himself over and over...
I think this is exactly what happened with the children of Israel... I think they kept complaining about Moses... and God kept saying they weren't complaining about Moses but about God... and the issue wasn't that they wanted to complain about Moses... they just kept seeing Moses as the one doing the miracles... the reason that happened is because Moses was the resource God was using to help the nation of Israel... but in truth... it was still God who was providing for them because God is the source... man is only resource... and I am thinking if we can quit looking to man to provide for us... whatever it is... it might be money... it might be love... it might be happiness.. it might be peace... whatever it is we are looking for... man can't give it... no man... not your mother.. your brother.. your sister.. your husband... all these things still have to come from the Source... we need to know that God is the one that will provide for us and keep us... God is our only Source no matter what resource He chooses to use... it still came from God...
I don't want to wander in the wilderness for 38 years... I don't want to wander not even one more day... Father forgive me for looking for anything other than you... I am satisfied in You... whatever else goes on... whatever the situation... You are all I need... and I praise You for being my God... in Jesus name... amen.amen.amen.
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