love those who hate you...

Matthew 5:44 but I say to you love those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you...

these words are spoken by Jesus himself... sorry to say... that is a very hard concept for me... oh I will pray for them all right... but not for God to bless them or save them or change them... I am an old testament warrior... I tend to pray that those that persecute me or persecute those that I love will die or be removed from my world...

and I am wrong... I want to save the world... but not the same world that everyone else wants to go to heaven I'm thinking... I am learning the hard way... that much of the church world or the so called christians are the ones that need saved... I don't so much mean saved from the worldly ways... maybe I do mean that... the people in the church have turned out to be the meanest people I have ever had to come in contact with... I used to just go to church without being involved in it... and now.. now that I guess you would have to say I am part of it... I find that the majority of church servants and leaders are mean and hateful people... aren't these supposed to be the saved ones??? aren't they supposed to be the ones out here saving the world in action and deed? apparently I am so confused about the role of church...

I had the imagination that church was to be a light in a dark world... I promise you that I have never been dogged out and talked about in the world like I am in the church... when I was talked about in the street... it was truth... I was doing what they said I was doing... NOW... I am doing NOTHING... and people are accusing me of doing sinful things... don't get me wrong... I don't pretend I am not sinful... (for goodness sake I just told you I want these people to disappear...)but I am not doing what I am being rumored to do...

you know... I had told someone once that the change that we are to make is in the church... and I guess I never realized the significance and truth of that statement... I too was confused about my role in the kingdom.. I thought the souls to be changed were the ones in the street... and I believe it will be... but I think maybe it has to begin with change in the lives of the people in the church... including me...

so... apparently instead of wishing/praying for their demise... I will begin this day... this new year to pray for the church to be delivered and to become more Christlike... and I will pray this same prayer for myself... because if I am wanting folks to disappear or die... I am not so much like Christ either...

let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me... let there be love on earth and let it begin with me... let there be Christ on earth and let it begin with me...