Psalms 144 1 Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle.2 He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him. He makes the nations submit to me.

 3 O Lord, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? 4 For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow. 

5 Open the heavens, Lord, and come down. Touch the mountains so they billow smoke. 6 Hurl your lightning bolts and scatter your enemies! Shoot your arrows and confuse them! 7 Reach down from heaven and rescue me; rescue me from deep waters, from the power of my enemies. 8 Their mouths are full of lies; they swear to tell the truth, but they lie instead. 

9 I will sing a new song to you, O God! I will sing your praises with a ten-stringed harp. 10 For you grant victory to kings! You rescued your servant David from the fatal sword.

I read this psalm last night and the commentary said that biblical kings were warriors.. that a physical battle was a form of worship.. you were trusting God to defeat the enemy for you.. even though the king and the army were the ones fighting.. 

to relate this to ourselves.. we are daily in a spiritual battle.. do we worship God while we are in this battle? or do we whine and complain about how tired we are and we want it to be over? are we trusting God to fight with us and for us? or are we doing all of this in our own might and getting nowhere?

are we becoming closer to God while in battle? or are we becoming more distant?

turn your focus off the fight.. off whatever you feel is weighing down on you.. put that focus on God.. on how He has carried you through time after time.. begin right now to trust Him and know He will bring you out of this fight too.. and we will be victorious.. in Jesus name.. 

I am thinking about some things today... 

I wonder why so many women that are waiting on God are still alone.. doesn't the bible tell us that it isn't good for us to be alone? so I wonder why God would leave us alone so long sometimes.. and we don't want to go out and choose someone on our own because that is surely going to be a disaster... 

I wonder if in biblical times there were alot of unmarried women also.. we don't hear anything about that because in that time women were first of all property.. but also men didn't want daughters.. they wanted men.. male heirs.. well I'm sorry to let them know that in order to continue to have male heirs through generations you also have to have daughters for that to happen... 

women were put in arranged marriages at young ages.. what we would today feel is statutory rape.. and they stayed in these marriages all of their lives regardless of the situation.. do we walk away from marriage to easily today?

is one of the issues the fact that so many women believe they were called to ministry? so they are out here leading rather than submitting? 

is our lack of submission one of our real issues in why we can't be in relationships? we are always thinking of what we won't deal with.. what we aren't putting up with.. and we sit here alone and wonder why... 

now don't get me wrong.. I don't think we are to stay in an abusive relationship.. but we leave for everything today.. do we even know what we are supposed to be looking for in a man? are we actually looking for man traits in a man? or are we maybe expecting a man to act more like a woman? be emotional and supportive... 

are we our own worst enemy............... 

Jeremiah 29: 10 This is what the Lord says: “You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

I wrote a post about this a few years ago.. we always look at the good part of this scripture.. where God says he has a hope and a future for us.. and good plans.. but we overlook the fact that we have to be in the land of the enemy for 70 years... 

just now it occurs to me.. the bible also says that the span of a 'man's' life (or woman's) is 70 years... babylon signifies the enemy.. so possibly God is saying to us.. we will live in the earth 70 years.. in the land of the enemy.. with the enemy reigning.. and if we are faithful to God through this time he will restore us to him.. maybe he is talking about heaven.. talking about at the end of our lives we will no longer have to deal with the enemy and we will return to our own land.. his land.. which would be heaven... 

now I can tell you I don't like to hear that.. I want everything to be great here on earth... I want the enemy to be defeated here on earth.. while I am still in what we call the land of the living... 

also in the chapter he states: 8 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let your prophets and fortune-tellers who are with you in the land of Babylon trick you. Do not listen to their dreams, 9 because they are telling you lies in my name. I have not sent them,” says the Lord.

I don't agree with every man (or woman) that says he is from God.. I don't think everyone that said they are called was actually called.. but I do know that we are easily deceived.. I have found in my own lifetime I have been deceived on major issues at least twice.. idk what the answers to deception are.. 

in the bible in Genesis it states that eve was deceived but adam sinned knowingly.. I have never understood this part.. what I mean by this is that I too have sinned knowingly sometimes.. but idk what makes women become deceived and led wrong.. idk how we are to know what is from God and what is deception other than to wait it out and see what God does about it.. because if it was actually God.. then HE will bring it to pass.. nothing we do.. 

these are some of the questions I have when I make it into heaven.. if we are allowed to ask them.. 

Proverbs 10: 12 Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.

recently someone offended me.. truthfully this person has offended me repeatedly for many years now and this particular offense just was the last one I was willing to deal with... 

this morning as I was praying and asking God to fill me with his love I feel him saying to me.. what good is it for me to fill you with my love if you are going to harden your heart against people? 

I think about this and he is right.. I have hardened my heart towards this person... 

I decide this morning that I will open my heart to love.. that I will be soft hearted and caring about all other people regardless of their actions.. 

I trust that God will be the one to show this person how prideful and unpleasant they are to others.. and I don't need to worry about this.. God will deal with all offenses in his time.. I just need to trust him.. 

I don't often write personal things on here anymore.. but today is an exception.. you see a few days ago my mother died... 

when I was very young my mother was the greatest person in the world to me.. truly I would not be who I am if not for her.. her relationship with God caused me to have a relationship with God.. and a very strong one... 

when I chose a man from another race.. she shut me out.. I could no longer come to family functions because it was too uncomfortable for the rest of the family.. because of the racial slur they put on me... she did not hold my family together when that happened.. instead she allowed the break... and slowly over years much of the family fell apart.. not just me... other family members no longer speak to one another over other issues.. 

we all have a choice in life about how we see things and what they do to us.. 

I choose to look at the wonderful woman my mother was while I was young and the great influence she was on me in my lifetime.. I sing songs to Isabella that she sang to me when I was just a baby... I sang them to my own kids.. these are all strong and positive memories.. 

I also choose to be someone who holds my family together rather than allowing it to fall apart if trouble arises... this is also something I learned from her.. but from a negative experience I choose to turn into a positive outcome... 

Rest With God Katheryn Fry.. I will always love you as the woman you were to me when I was young.. and I am very thankful for you making me the woman and the mother that I am because of you.. you were given to me by God intentionally for me to make my world a better place and I thank Him for giving you to me.. be at peace.. 

I read a devotional yesterday about people not finishing.. 

it suggested that often we start the race and intend to do all God called us to do.. but we get so tired.. this is not an easy task.. to remain in God's will.. to remain steadfast when you can't see.. to remain faithful when you hear nothing... see nothing.. feel nothing... 

if we read Job.. I wonder how on earth he stayed so focused on God despite God not speaking... despite friends telling him he had somehow brought this all on himself.. despite his wife being negative and miserable.. 

sometimes I fear I will not finish.. I fear I may not fulfill the call God has for me.. I may just give up and go back to living day to day doing nothing for the kingdom of God... not because I don't want to be all that He wants me to be.. really I do.. it is more about feeling like I just don't have what it takes to keep on keeping on... 

sighs... 

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

we are always looking for God's will for us.. here is a clear piece of it that we rarely even notice... 

God wants us to be joyful... how many people do we know walking through life completely miserable ? this is not God's will.. the scripture states God wants us to be joyful.. we can walk through difficult life's circumstances without being miserable.. it is a mindset... sure we will be sad occassionally.. but that does not have to be a way of life.. that is a decision we are making.. or not making.. 

God wants us to never stop praying... how often do we stop praying about something because we can't see any change? probably more often than we would like to admit.. I know myself sometimes I feel God doesn't even hear me.. so why bother to continue.. God wants us to stick it out.. continue to pray until the breakthrough comes in one direction or the other.. 

God wants us to be thankful in all situations.. this is the issue with the joyful.. if we are not thankful in spite of situations it makes it hard to be joyful... joy comes from within.. thankful comes from within.. both sides are a decision we make in how we look at our lives.. we can be thankful just to be alive and know God has better for us one day... we can be thankful to no longer be in a situation we were in before.. we can be thankful that our sin did not condemn us to death but God continued to love us and save us for eternity.... 

these are a piece of God's will for our lives...