I read a devotional yesterday about people not finishing.. 

it suggested that often we start the race and intend to do all God called us to do.. but we get so tired.. this is not an easy task.. to remain in God's will.. to remain steadfast when you can't see.. to remain faithful when you hear nothing... see nothing.. feel nothing... 

if we read Job.. I wonder how on earth he stayed so focused on God despite God not speaking... despite friends telling him he had somehow brought this all on himself.. despite his wife being negative and miserable.. 

sometimes I fear I will not finish.. I fear I may not fulfill the call God has for me.. I may just give up and go back to living day to day doing nothing for the kingdom of God... not because I don't want to be all that He wants me to be.. really I do.. it is more about feeling like I just don't have what it takes to keep on keeping on... 

sighs...