Ecclesiastes 1: ⁷ Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers and flows out again to the sea. ⁸ Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.

 

we are talking about being content... about not keeping our focus on God.. but over and over the focus turns and is again centered on me.. what about what I feel.. what about what I think.. what about what I want...

 

I can easily see the issues with the israelites... we read the old testament and think how stupid they were... how God gave them victory after victory and right after a victory they went right back to thinking again about what they want and what they want and their focus was once again off God and onto self... just like us...

 

and we can say that isn't what it is.. .but it is... every time I leave God.. or not even leave him.. but maybe put Him in the closet so to speak.. it is because I want to be in the bar... or I want sex... or I quit tithing yet again because I want to buy something... and the list goes on and on and on...

 

I read something today that say we will either bow down and worship God.. or we stand up and worship self... that is the only two options there really are... and I wonder... how often am I thinking again about what I want rather than what God wants for me...

 

and the ridiculous part is.. I am good right now.. I am happy... I am not having lack of any sort... so why on earth wouldn't God by my constant thoughts of worship... why does it always go back to being about what I want?

normally I do a post on the scripture for this made to crave bible study.. but I have to say.. there was a revelation for me this week in chapter 17 (Made to Crave by Lysa Terkheurst) 

she is talking about holiness.. now I have to tell you.. I am thinking I am about as pure as the driven snow before reading this!!! I haven't had sex since 2006 (felt like enlarging that to enormous).. I don't drink.. I have gotten almost all of the things that I felt were sinful under 'control' (word used loosely as we ALL fall on a regular...) 

she makes the statement that anything at all... no matter what it is.. that is not beneficial to our purpose in God... makes us unholy... or it detracts from our holiness.. whatever way you want to say it... 

so if I think about the choices.. whatever they are.. food.. finances.. friends.. whatever... if it is not benefiting the purpose God has for me.. this would include health choices because you have to be alive and healthy to be used for His glory... then I need to opt out of it... whatever it is... 

I keep imagining I want a man in my life... now I am not exactly sure what I want him for.. and not exactly sure how long I would continue to want him around... but I believe part of my purpose in God is linked with a man.. so I want one.. but if this is not the time.. then that would not go well... and then I would be out of the holiness thing again.. so even these thoughts that I want someone outside of God's time are not beneficial to me.. and they make me feel some type of way sometimes.. and that is exactly when I need to lay before the Lord and get some of His strength... 

I just don't even have words as to how big and bright this revelation was.. this is pertaining to the sugar I need to give up... the going to the gym when I don't feel like it.. the keeping my mind stayed on positives rather than negatives... all of it... Jesus told me a few years ago to give up sugar and I thought I was imagining it.. thinking what does Jesus care if I eat sugar or not... and here it is.. the answer of why... all this time later.. it is about making right choices.. about being comforted with His love rather than something sweet.. about self control... about self value.. 

Luke 2: ³³ Jesus’ parents were amazed at what was being said about him. ³⁴ Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, but he will be a joy to many others. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. ³⁵ As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.”

 

the amazing thing for me is the reality that Jesus' parents were both visited by an angel.. they both knew that mary had not had sex and yet became pregnant by the Holy Spirit... yet somehow.. they are amazed at him being so godlike...

 

I was thinking too.. it says the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed... that is sad to me.. in my thoughts I think this is about the religious people of the world who thought they knew so much about God's law.. yet they knew nothing of God's ways and character... there are so many people doing this even now.. so busy in ministry and things of the 'church' yet knowing nothing of showing love or of who God really is...

 

I feel it is important to do the work of the church.. to visit the sick.. to help when we can.. but I don't feel these things are earning us anything.. we should be doing these things because of love for God and His people.. but these actions do not replace time spent in prayer and mediation of the word of God...

 

just like in Jesus' time.. we are still trying to work our way into heaven... not everyone of course.. some people don't do any work for the kingdom of God at all.. but some are still so disillusioned...

Psalms 13: ⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. ⁶ I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.

 

I am going to try to spend more days thanking God than asking God for anything... I am going to spend my time with God just basking in His Love rather than thinking about my own thoughts and needs... I am going to spend my time alone with God.. just loving Him... the way I desire for Him to love me too...

2 Timothy 3: 16All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

if we never read God's word.. then we never know what He is trying to tell us.. we never learn what we are doing that is unpleasing to Him... we can never correct what is wrong... 

I am a reader in general.. I just like to read... I feel sorry for the people who cannot connect with the word of God.. those who can't hear His voice because they do not know His ways and His character from reading the word of God... we can listen to what others think of who God has been in their life.. but God is very individual I feel.. He is what each person needs... so what I need and what I teach you about who He has been for me.. may not be what you need... so you may not realize that you need Him because He will fill all the voids in your life differently than He has for me... 

I pray that everyone will hunger and thirst after the word of God and come to know Him for themselves.. on a personal level.. 

Isaiah 8: 5 Then the Lord spoke to me again and said, 6 “My care for the people of Judah is like the gently flowing waters of Shiloah, but they have rejected it. They are rejoicing over what will happen to King Rezin and King Pekah. 7 Therefore, the Lord will overwhelm them with a mighty flood from the Euphrates River—the king of Assyria and all his glory. This flood will overflow all its channels 8 and sweep into Judah until it is chin deep. It will spread its wings, submerging your land from one end to the other, O Immanuel.

I was reading this and I thought... in some ways I am like this... there have been times in my life when God has rescued me from people wanting to hurt me or even someone close to me.. and I was rejoicing over what would or did happen to them... 

rather than focusing on the goodness of God.. I was focusing on the despair of someone else.. rather than focusing on God's love for me.. I was focusing on Him dealing with someone else... 

and I was so ashamed of myself for being like this... in my own mind.. I was thinking about God loving me rather than praying for someone headed for destruction... my selfishness and lack of compassion for someone else sometimes is truly overwhelming... 

create in me a clean heart and clean hands O Lord... please... change me from the inside out.. so that I can be the woman and the example of Your Love that You have called me to be.. in Jesus name I ask..

Lamentations 3: 22  The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 23  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24  I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;  therefore, I will hope in him!”

I remember in my life before Jesus.. when I would wake up after having gone out and acting like an idiot... the next morning.. I would be wishing that everyone I knew would just miraculously forget the night before... 

well.. that never happened in my personal life with people.. but I do believe that is exactly what happens with God... 

we all act a fool sometimes.. we do things out of character.. sometimes because we are mad.. sometimes because we are hormonal... sometimes because we are tired or hungry or whatever the reason may be.. I don't believe we will ever reach such a high pinnacle that we never act in a manner that should embarrass us... 

but ever single time we ask God for forgiveness and for a new day... He gives it... His mercies are new every day! now we may have to apologize to some people... we may have to be more careful about how we act or what we say in the future.. but God has forgotten when we lost our way and acted a fool... and for that I am very thankful! He is my inheritance and my Hope is in Him!