John 11: 4But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” 5So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6he stayed where he was for the next two days. 

sometimes I wonder if God remembers I am still here... sometimes I think I am completely wrong in everything I ever thought He has said to me.. sometimes I am sure that I was never given a vision to begin with... sometimes I am unsure that God loves me as much as the word says He does, because surely He waits too long to come to see me or even just to talk to me...

while I do feel all these things.. there are time that our lives are just here to bring glory to the Son of God.. so He will wait to rescue us.. or even speak... to develop our faith in Him.. and to let us really begin to trust Him... I used to think that I trusted God.. but every time things got dark.. fear and doubts set in... well I have grown past that.. and now I know that no matter what it is that happens... I will be all right... I am sure of these things because God has proven Himself faithful in my life... 

even on the dark days.. God is my light.. and my salvation.. in whom shall I fear...