Psalms 34: 17  The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. 18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. 19  The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

sometimes I think that what I read in scripture is not necessarily what was meant... 

what I mean by that is... the bible sometimes makes it sound like because/if we love God and serve Him above ourselves or man then life will be easy and sweet.. 

now not all scripture says that.. but some does... 

I do think God rescues us from our troubles.. but not necessarily in a way that we think is a rescue.. LOL!! 

in my own world He has surely rescued me from failure of finances.. but it wasn't by some mighty windfall of money to bail me out.. it was by me diligently tithing and paying what needs to be paid and leaving many items still in the store!! 

He has been close to me when I was broken hearted.. but my heart wasn't miraculously healed in one day.. it was a process that took a lot of time.. and better decisions.. and even then sometimes I have been hurt... 

but all these things have taught me to trust Him.. to not lean on my own thoughts or ideas.. to allow God to lead me and guide me on what He has chosen for me... 

and I admit this is not easy.. not even one day... because I am a control freak... and I am unsure of the path or the outcome.. this is a daily battle... often I am not sure I am doing the right thing or going the right way... daily I plead with God to give me understanding and assurance... 

but in all this unsurity... that is where I have learned I can trust God's plan above my own... and I believe this is the essence of true faith.. when we are unsure.. but still trusting in God above our own common sense... 

People often say things like never look back... leave the past in the past... 

I do agree with these statements to a degree.. we can't move forward while focused on the past... but I also feel that once you have changed and moved forward it is good to turn around and face where you used to be and truly recognize that is not where you want to be now... that you are happy where you are.. 

many times we idealize or glamourize the past... we think about the fun times or what we have missed out on... 

so this weekend.. I was able to look at my previous life and smile.. and say with confidence that while there are some people there that I loved and will always love to some degree... that is no longer where I want to be.. and surely not where I belong... 

and today.. I go back to the life of promise... to the place God has put me.. has kept me and will continue to do so... 
and for that I am very thankful... 

Psalms 17: 2Declare me innocent, for you see those who do right. 3You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say. 4I have followed your commands, which keep me from following cruel and evil people. 5My steps have stayed on your path; I have not wavered from following you. 6I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. 7Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies.

I was reading this chapter this morning and thinking.. can you imagine being able to say that God has tested your thoughts and found nothing wrong.. that you have not sinned in what you say................

I have to say.. for me.. I can control my actions (most times) but my thoughts and the words that I say... that is where I fall the most... even when I don't say them out loud.. I think negative thoughts about others.. I question their motives.. I say things that either don't need to be said or that are hurtful or mean... 

none of this is my intention.. and surely I am better today than I was even a month ago... I realize I do better and better at these issues... but man.. david must have really been someone wonderful to be able to say that there wasn't sin even in his mind and his words.... 

I am so thankful that God looks beyond my issues and loves me in spite of them and still continues to bless me!!

John 11: 4But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” 5So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6he stayed where he was for the next two days. 

sometimes I wonder if God remembers I am still here... sometimes I think I am completely wrong in everything I ever thought He has said to me.. sometimes I am sure that I was never given a vision to begin with... sometimes I am unsure that God loves me as much as the word says He does, because surely He waits too long to come to see me or even just to talk to me...

while I do feel all these things.. there are time that our lives are just here to bring glory to the Son of God.. so He will wait to rescue us.. or even speak... to develop our faith in Him.. and to let us really begin to trust Him... I used to think that I trusted God.. but every time things got dark.. fear and doubts set in... well I have grown past that.. and now I know that no matter what it is that happens... I will be all right... I am sure of these things because God has proven Himself faithful in my life... 

even on the dark days.. God is my light.. and my salvation.. in whom shall I fear...

Ecclesiastes 5: As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. It is evil to make mindless offerings to God. ² Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

 

I read this verse and it has 'bothered' me ever since..

we are told so many times to pray constantly.. to go before the throne boldly...

then you read this...

when I first read it I was thinking about when we enter church.. what is on our mind when we get there? while our intention is probably to worship.. what is our mind centered on before the worship service starts? is it centered on God or on our lives and what we think and what we want and what we are doing and what is going on?

 

then it says to keep your ears open and your mouth shut.. to not being hasty in bringing matters before God as He is in heaven and we are on earth.. so let our words be few... how does this tie into praying without ceasing? ARE we talking too much? does the Lord possibly put us on a back burner because we are constantly talking and probably not saying anything new?

 

you know if you talk too much to certain people.. they will block you out.. you have surely done it with kids if not others... does God do that with us? as God is good for saying something once or twice then expecting us to just hold on to it.. sometimes being silent for long periods of time... so is that possibly what we are to do too? are we to pray about a situation then let it go.. just believing that He will work it out and deal with it.. trusting the one prayer was enough...

 

I can tell you.. this is NOT what I do.. I beat down the door of the Lord.. LOL! but now I stand here and wonder if I am wrong... are we making God.. the God of the universe.. the Creator.. are we making Him too common? are we treating Him as if He is just regular? just one of us? is that possibly where the wrong is in how we act toward Him.. are we not giving Him the reverence due to Him?

Isaiah 50: 10 Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant?
If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God. 11 But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires. This is the reward you will receive from me: You will soon fall down in great torment.

as I read this I wonder how often I have felt I was walking in God's light and really I was walking and relying on myself... and not even realizing it... 

I know that the deeper we get into the Lord, the more we see.. or that is the plan anyways.. LOL! I find for my own self.. the closer I think I am getting to God the less I see... I don't think this is as I think it should be.. but I recognize that when we walk by sight.. we are not really trusting in God.. when we cannot see then we have to trust Him... 

I realize that the less I see.. the more I acknowledge that whatever God chooses.. that is what I want... and whatever He determines.. even if it is not according to my own desires.. I still recognize that it is best for everyone involved.. too many times I have wanted my will and it has caused disaster for myself, my children, even innocent bystanders sometimes.. 

it is truth that God uses all situations for our good.. but too often we go through many things unnecessarily... I don't want to endure or learn from anything that I didn't need.. 

lead me Lord on the path you have chosen for me.. do not let me be drawn to the right or the left.. keep me close to you and always in your will for my life. amen!

Mark 6: 41 Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share. 42 They all ate as much as they wanted, 43 and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftover bread and fish. 44 A total of 5,000 men and their families were fed from those loaves!47 Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on land. 48 He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. He intended to go past them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the water, they cried out in terror, thinking he was a ghost. 50 They were all terrified when they saw him.

But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage! I am here!” 51 Then he climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, 52 for they still didn’t understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.

I saw this pointed out a few days ago and was shocked.. it is amazing how we can read the bible over and over yet always have missed something.. there is always something more to see and learn from it... 

first let me say.. I am SURE I don't really recognize the significance of the miracle of the loaves either... 

but how amazing is it that they are right there with Jesus... they see Him every single day doing miracles.. healing.. teaching... they KNOW Him... and verse 52 says... their hearts were too hard to take it in... 

this happens so often to us all... we are unable to believe.. unable to accept something great from God because we are still too hard hearted to take it in... it's not that we don't want to believe or to see.. we are just too weak in faith... we believe yet we don't believe... we hear yet we don't hear... we know yet we don't know... 

Father I believe... help my unbelief...