loneliness...

Psalms 102: 6 I am like an owl in the desert, like a little owl in a far-off wilderness. 7 I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof.

I hate it when I feel alone.. when I was younger... I used to be alone all the time.. I am not alone as often anymore.. I can be by myself now... but not alone.. somehow you can be alone while in a crowd..

I used to think if I had the right person in my life.. if someone loved me totally.. then I would not be alone ever again.. that did not end up to be the truth.. people's love cannot satisfy loneliness.. having someone around all the time doesn't make you never lonely... being loved by a person is a great feeling.. but it is fleeting.. it comes and it goes.. if we base our stability on the love of people.. where will we be when they are angry at us? will that be the end of our stability? I know people who felt that having a child to love them would make them never lonely because a child accepts you all the time.. yet that love too is not enough.. then we decide we need to be touched to be complete...

I have found that Jesus is what cures loneliness... He has been the only thing I have ever found to truly take it away... this is not to say that I don't long for love from a person.. I do want to be loved by a man... I do want to be in a family... but the base of my stability has become God.. while I desire a man.. I know I can be satisfied without one... while I desire love.. I know that God's love is really the thing that give me peace and comfort at ALL times...