I am just talking today... and I would say that one of my greatest issues.. one of the things that is truly wrong with me that I need righted is that I do not do well in the dark...

1 Kings 8: 12 Then Solomon prayed, “O Lord, you have said that you would live in a thick cloud of darkness.

the bible tells us that God lives in the darkness.. so we are not alone in it.. I guess because I have always seen ahead that I get distraught when something is not clearly shown... or the path is not lit..

the darkest days I have ever lived in my life were when my kids were very small.. there was no money because their father had a drug and alcohol problem.. some days I did not eat.. but made sure that they did... even if it was just oodles of noodles... all I can remember from that time are rainy and cold days.. I cannot seem to pull up in my mind's eye any sunny days...

but even in those darkest times.. God was with me.. I felt Him.. I knew He was there... I knew He would pull me out.. I didn't know how... but I knew He would...

in this particular time in my life.. everything is dark... not necessarily in the weather.. but in my mind and spirit... I cannot see my hand in front of my face.. I remember what God said when the sun was shining brightly.. but I cannot see it like I can normally see things.. I cannot feel God constantly like I did in the past... now He 'feels' as if He comes and goes...

I trust God... I know that He will pull me out of the darkness and into the light when He is ready... I know this is just another learning experience... but I will admit.. this is one of the darkest times my spirit has ever known...

though He slay me.. yet will I trust Him...