faith vs fear

1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 2 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. 3 You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.” 4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” 5 Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!”
6 And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. (Genesis 15)

I read in a devotional that Abram had a major character flaw.. it was fear... I have to admit.. I am guilty of this same flaw... so I sorta felt good to know that Abram had it too...

think about the things he did out of fear or doubt...
he repeatedly lied and said that Sarah was his sister because he feared someone would kill him because of her...
he laid with Hagar and conceived Ishmael when he was supposed to be waiting on a child with Sarah...

amazingly.. God fixed all the things he messed up... like with the saying Sarah was his sister.. none of the other men who took her slept with her so she would not be defiled for the promised child... (wonder why the Hagar thing didn't mean he was defiled?? but obviously it didn't...) Ishmael.. which you would think could cancel out the promised child... didn't.. God allowed him to have Isaac despite the things he had done that were surely not God's perfect plan... apparently they were God's permissive plan.. and surely for other use later on.. as God doesn't waste anything...

and yet.. as doubtful and fearful as he was.. the bible said Abram believed the Lord... he didn't always look like he believed.. yet he apparently did... and God counted him righteous because of his faith...

I find myself fearful or doubtful sometimes.. yet no matter what... I always come back to believing what God said... what else is there?? I would rather live believing a sovereign and mighty God.. than to live believing in nothing.... I pray God will see me as righteous and faithful too...