Yet will I trust Him...

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.

I don't understand God's way... I will not even pretend that I do... so I don't understand what is going on with me right now...

I have been faithful... I have spoken life... I have believed... I have worked... I have walked... all toward the promises of God...

but what does one do... when you can't hold on any longer...

I don't have any truly spiritual answers for you... all I have is all I know... and that is this...

I would rather spend my time walking toward God and being wrong... than walking toward satan and being right...

so I will continue on in the dark Lord... asking you to turn the lights on... regardless of what I see when the lights come on... the truth is better than dark... and being deceived but enlightened is better than false hope... I don't know what will happen in the light... I don't know if you will show that I have heard your voice or if I have allowed the enemy to deceive me... I do know that you will be here with me... that you will never leave me nor forsake me and I have lived through worse than this and still you lead me...

I love you Lord... no matter what is shown when the lights come on... I trust you... in the dark and in the light... in fear and in faith... you are all I have ever had... all I have ever known...

yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me... you will lead me beside still waters...